s/o criminals-wwmld?

[Deleted]

BETRAYAL MY ASS!

Your friend is a stupid broad for real. I'd tell her I knew and I'd tell her I couldn't deal if she got back together with that ass.

Maybe I do think friends are disposable.

[Deleted]

um, i'd end the friendship. if asked, i'd tell her honestly that you searched the PUBLICLY AVAILABLE records out of curiosity and are troubled enough by the crime that you do not think that you can continue to be friends. yeah, she'll feel like it's a betrayal and be pissed. but she's taking a sex offender with a disgusting criminal history back into her life voluntarily, so i'm pretty sure her judgement isn't a benchmark for reliability.

[laptopvixen]

Let's Do The Time Warp Agaiiiiiiin

Shit just got weird.

[soozy87]

We would probably no longer be friends. I don't know if I would get into a discussion about why with her though.

[wrathofkuus]

IMO, it is the responsibility of friendship to let a friend know when she is being an idiot or an ass, then offer an awkward hug afterward.

[wrathofkuus]

I agree with you. Do talk that sense into her; she needs it. And maybe take her out and about to a place where a lot of really handsome men are, you know? Men who are unlikely to be child molestors.

[partiallysunny]

If friend told me she was thinking about getting get back with exhusband, I'd let her know exactly what I thought.

[Deleted]

Sept 21, 2012 14:24:58 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

She divorced him over this. I just can't see why she is considering this.

I honestly feel so bad for her and she wanted to kill herself once she found out. I feel like she needs someone to talk some sense into her.

ah, i see. give it your best shot. you can't save a person, but you can throw them a lifeline and give them the opportunity to take it.

[Jermys]

Friend would know I knew, because I would be all "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU THINKING, YOU FUCKING MORON???" Because I am so not going to be friends with someone who would be in a relationship with a kiddie fucker.

[EmilieMadison]

NO FUCKING WAY your friend doesnt know what he did. Why? Because if YOU looked it up, as someone who was never married to the perv, then you better damned well believe that his exwife looked it up.

She's insane for considering it. I'd tell her, flat out, that you know what he did and that she must know, too. This would end a friendship for me, btw. I could not stay friends with someone who willingly pursued a relationship with a pedophile.

ETA: Sorry, reading fail. The whole "getting back together with a pedophile" thing really threw me.

Tell her you know what he did, that you cannot stay friends with her if she gets back together with him.

[Deleted]

I can understand why she didn't ever tell you what he did. I mean, at the start she didn't know you'd become a good friend and probably didn't want to deal with "how could you not have known?"

And then later it's awkward to say "oh yeah, so about my ex. He was molesting children and that's why he's in jail" so she said nothing.

Might be a relief to hear you know but stayed her friend anyway.

So I'd go with "Look, when I heard your ex was getting out and may become part of your life again I needed to know why he was there. I probably should have just asked you but didn't know how to bring it up so I searched the public record. I value your friendship, you're a great person but if you do reconcile with him I just can't remain friends. I don't blame you for what he did, but his crime is horrific and I won't have him in my life in any way."

[Deleted]

With the new information, I would go talk to her. Find out how likely he is to be released. If it's not any time soon, then I'm going to assume homegirl is as cracked as those prison wives who have had such a horrible time with men that they would rather be in a relationship with a man who is locked up then risk a relationship with someone who has the power to hurt them.

[EmilieMadison]

Sept 21, 2012 14:40:42 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

She does know what he did. I will not be friends with her if she does this. I just don't know if I should approach her.

Yes, I think you should approach her. If she wasnt hedging for your opinion, she wouldnt have told you that she was thinking about reconciling. IMO, she needs to hear that you think it's a horrible idea and why. I'd want my friends to tell me the truth, especially if it was going to end my friendship.

[Deleted]

Then call her up just to talk if you're concerned for her as a friend.

[wrathofkuus]

How do you know that she's getting back together with him, then?

[montereybride]

I'm staring at you intently and with a knowing look on my face.

This place is like a fucking möbius strip.


Eta: Uhhh, that should have been me quoting laptop.

[wrathofkuus]

If she told you, then you've talked to her. Talk to her some more. And if he does get out, I'd tell everydamnbody what he did.

[wrathofkuus]

Ooooooh.

Yeah, call her right now. Say "I looked up the public record of that ex you were considering getting back together with, and HOLY FUCK! What are you THINKING?!"

[fuckyourcouch]

Sept 21, 2012 14:21:12 GMT -5 cjoy said:

I'd just say "Hey, I found out your H is a perv so don't bother showing up for book club next week. Happy trails!"

:Y:

that's...icky

[tulip]

Sept 21, 2012 14:35:53 GMT -5 Jermys said:

Friend would know I knew, because I would be all "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU THINKING, YOU FUCKING MORON???" Because I am so not going to be friends with someone who would be in a relationship with a kiddie fucker.

This & I'd cut off all contact. She would know I knew & I'd tell any mutual friends that had children.

[karmasabiotch]

I ended my friendship of 24 years with now ex-bff for this reason.

[3rdgrdteach]

I would go talk to her... Sometimes people need a slap in the face to realize what they are doing is fucking stupid... If she does not appreciate that than Atleast you know you tried.

[imoan]

Sept 21, 2012 15:28:59 GMT -5 Que? said:

Sept 21, 2012 14:18:30 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

BETRAYAL MY ASS!

Your friend is a stupid broad for real. I'd tell her I knew and I'd tell her I couldn't deal if she got back together with that ass.

Maybe I do think friends are disposable.

In this case, they are.

But maybe she's depressed and that's why she's staying with a kiddie rapist!

(sorry, had to be that asshole. I don't really think that... just had to do it. Sorry Que!)

[wrathofkuus]

I don't know; if I were you, this alone probably wouldn't make me drop her as a friend. I'm sure all my emu eyes would probably make her drop me, though.

[wrathofkuus]

I think I might have a high shenanigans threshold for friends.

[onesweetworld]

What Jermys said

[EloiseWeenie]

She's obviously not right in her mind. I'd advise her to no reconcile, and if she did then I would drop her.

I once had a boss who's ex-H molested little boys (divorced because of this). She was pretty bristly about life in general. A few times she would tell an old story about a trip they went on, etc. You could tell they had happy memories. I can't imagine what it does to your mind to look back and think your marriage was good and find out your H is raping little boys.