MTBM - March 2

[pandora89]

1. How far along are you?

2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for the week?

3. Questions for the group?

4. Let's talk maternity/paternity leave - what's your plan/status if you don't mind sharing?

[urbancowgirl]

1. How far along are you? 37w

2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for the week? I'm officially in the "everything hurts" stage of pregnancy. Rolling over in bed hurts, the random shooting cramps in my inner thigh hurt, bending over hurts. And don't get me started on the pressure in my pelvis. I've started weekly appointment with my midwives, as well as NSTs. Baby passed last week's NST with flying colors, but I had to get an ultrasound because the midwife was concerned about low fluid (again). Luckily, the ultrasound showed that my fluid levels were within normal limits.

3. Questions for the group? None this week.

4. Let's talk maternity/paternity leave - what's your plan/status if you don't mind sharing? I SAH, so no change work-wise for me. DH does not have paternity leave through his company, but he plans to be on leave for three weeks. I'm optimistic that he'll be able to do so, but there was an emergency at work right after we had DS, and DH had to go back to work after a week. It was rough on all of us.

[jennysmitten]

1. How far along are you?
22w 6d

2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for the week?I have finally been able to get into a groove with regular workouts. I just hope I can keep it up- spring in higher ed/student services is an insane time.

3. Questions for the group?Not this week.

4. Let's talk maternity/paternity leave - what's your plan/status if you don't mind sharing? I am super lucky- our University just added maternity/paternity leave and I will have 6 weeks paid. After that I can utilize my accrued sick time. I plan to take either another 4 weeks off, then go back part time for a month or take all 12 weeks and go back full time or perhaps a week part time to ease back in. I have a feeling I will do the first as I will miss working - but we will see!

[seeyalater52]

1. How far along are you? 7+1 today!

2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for the week? We saw babe again this morning. It’s amazing how much growth there has been in one week! Heart rate is nice and fast at 144bpm.

3. Questions for the group? None this week.

4. Let's talk maternity/paternity leave - what's your plan/status if you don't mind sharing? I will take 3 months paid leave (combo of STD and banked sick time) and my wife will take 6 weeks paid and possibly some unpaid time too, we haven’t decided yet.

[pandora89]

1. 24w

2. Viability!!

3. Nope

4. We are very fortunate. Maternity leave here is up to 18 months, benefits cap out at about $650 biweekly though for 18 months (or $1000 for 12 month paid through the government) but since daycare costs are so ridiculous here it makes more sense for me to take the full 18 months instead of paying for 2 kids in full time daycare. Infant spots are close to $3k in the city and toddler/preschool spots are about $1600-$2000. DS will be going to a part time preschool 2 days a week. We also have a new benefit of paid paternity leave for spouses so H will take 6 weeks off paid this summer (portion paid through the government but he will get topped off to 100% for his time off). I also accrue time off while I am on leave and since I will be gone from June 2020 - December 2021, I will need to take my 2021 vacation time before I go back so I technically wont need to be back in the office till January/Feb 2022.

[jennistarr1]

1. How far along are you? 16W

2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for the week? People still want to throw me a sprinkle for a 2nd baby, which I surprised about!

3. Questions for the group? none

4. Let's talk maternity/paternity leave - what's your plan/status if you don't mind sharing? Everyone gets 12 weeks, if you have accumulated leave, you use that first but for whatever you don't have there is parental leave you can use to get you to 12 weeks. I think I'll have most of it covered, but I still plan on taking vacation, sick days and all as normal (because there is no incentive not to). Only tricky part is my husband was going to take an additional 2 weeks to have to solo time with baby when I go back, and I'm not sure how that will work since we both work for the same state system

[seeyalater52]

Ok I do have a question. Daycare in our area is fairly competitive with long waitlists so even though it feels insane we have babe on 2 waitlists and tours scheduled at those places as well.

Aside from the obvious stuff to look out for, any questions that STMs think would be good to ask about? Things you wish you knew before your kiddo started?

[weetabix]

1. How far along are you? 28 + 4. I posted here briefly during my last pregnancy in 2016, and have lurked a bit since then so I figured I should jump back in and say hi

2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for the week? I have apparently reached the point in looking pregnant where complete strangers are asking me questions about when I'm due, etc.

3. Questions for the group? Not this week.

4. Let's talk maternity/paternity leave - what's your plan/status if you don't mind sharing? Fortunately, I get 13 weeks paid at 100%, and my H will take a few weeks of vacation/sick leave right after the baby is born. He's a fed, and will miss the paid leave being rolled out in October by a few months, but he's been hoarding time so we should be good.

[starryfish]

1. How far along are you? 11w2d

2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for the week? ready for my NIPT results!!!! cant wait!!!

3. Questions for the group?

4. Let's talk maternity/paternity leave - what's your plan/status if you don't mind sharing? 18 weeks from a combo of sick leave and vacation. I am a federal employee but my baby will be born before the new parental leave starts in October.

[weetabix]

Mar 2, 2020 16:24:24 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

Ok I do have a question. Daycare in our area is fairly competitive with long waitlists so even though it feels insane we have babe on 2 waitlists and tours scheduled at those places as well.

Aside from the obvious stuff to look out for, any questions that STMs think would be good to ask about? Things you wish you knew before your kiddo started?

This isn't a question to ask, but more my thoughts on the whole daycare waitlist process. I also live in an area where it's pretty competitive to get a spot at a daycare, and there is one center in particular that families tend to favor and gets lots of buzz on NextDoor, etc. We toured it, didn't love it for a variety of reasons, one of which was a general vibe that they acted like we would be soooo lucky to get a spot and generally just seemed kind of....detached - with us and with the kids. Despite that, we plunked down $ to get on the waitlist and never got in. We ended up getting into a place that we liked much better right from the start (we were on 3 waitlists, and got into 2 places) but is generally the subject of less buzz. I wish I'd just saved myself the stress of wondering if we would get into the "more popular" place even after we had a secured spot elsewhere and followed my gut from the start that it wasn't the right place for us. Basically, I felt like there had to be something wrong with my assessment since everyone else loved it. Overall - if somewhere doesn't feel like a place you'd want to leave your kid, even if everyone else seems to love it, don't waste your energy on it if there are other options that you feel better about. 

Sorry for the novel and good luck!

[kiddoc]

1. 26 weeks today

2.  I did my gestational diabetes test last week and was happy to hear I passed.  I can't believe I have one more monthly OB appointment and then will be switching to every 2 week appointments.  This pregnancy has been flying by recently.  

3.  Any ideas for big sibling gifts?  My daughter (4.5) is very into unicorns and My Little Pony and my son (2.5) is into Paw Patrol, fire trucks, and construction vehicles.  Their birthdays are going to be within 1-2 months of when baby is born, so I'm thinking of getting them something smaller and then bigger presents for their birthdays.  

4.  As of now, my plan is to take a 6 month maternity leave.  I will get some time through the state disability program and then will use PTO to pay for the rest of my leave.  My husband gets 5 personal days per year, so unfortunately not much paternity leave.  My mom is retired, so I think she might stay for 1-2 weeks after the baby is born to help us out.  I'm a little nervous about adjusting to life with 3 kids, especially as my oldest will be out of school from June until mid August.  

[scm1011]

Mar 2, 2020 16:24:24 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

Ok I do have a question. Daycare in our area is fairly competitive with long waitlists so even though it feels insane we have babe on 2 waitlists and tours scheduled at those places as well.

Aside from the obvious stuff to look out for, any questions that STMs think would be good to ask about? Things you wish you knew before your kiddo started?

Staff turnover
Do they go outside daily? What are the weather restrictions? (I had to be loud and pushy with my daycare to make this a daily thing)
How so they handle food allergies? (A dear friend had to work hard to institute a no "celebrating with food" policy due to her child's life-threatening allergies)
What's the sick policy? (cut-off temp, ok to return policy, etc) 

Also I'll echo the PP. Our center is not one of the flashy pinterest worthy ones. We could not afford $3400 a month for Bright Horizons or Kindercare. Our center is a bit tired looking, but the teachers are SO loving and they, along with the other parents, have truly become our village.  

My baby is 9 months old and I still stalk here, sorry lol.

[seeyalater52]

Mar 3, 2020 7:10:28 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Mar 2, 2020 16:24:24 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

Ok I do have a question. Daycare in our area is fairly competitive with long waitlists so even though it feels insane we have babe on 2 waitlists and tours scheduled at those places as well.

Aside from the obvious stuff to look out for, any questions that STMs think would be good to ask about? Things you wish you knew before your kiddo started?

Staff turnover
Do they go outside daily? What are the weather restrictions? (I had to be loud and pushy with my daycare to make this a daily thing)
How so they handle food allergies? (A dear friend had to work hard to institute a no "celebrating with food" policy due to her child's life-threatening allergies)
What's the sick policy? (cut-off temp, ok to return policy, etc) 

Also I'll echo the PP. Our center is not one of the flashy pinterest worthy ones. We could not afford $3400 a month for Bright Horizons or Kindercare. Our center is a bit tired looking, but the teachers are SO loving and they, along with the other parents, have truly become our village.  

My baby is 9 months old and I still stalk here, sorry lol.

This is super helpful! As is what the poyster said above. Our area isn’t quite as ridiculous as yours in terms of pricing but the “best,” shiniest centers are just way way out of our budget. I like to think if we are discerning we can find a good middle ground that has loving staff and kind people and everything will be ok even if our infant doesn’t have a Montessori education or whatever. 😉

[anastasia517]

1. How far along are you?
15+4

2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for the week?
H & I started a registry this weekend. It was exciting and while I already knew most of what I wanted from my years in childcare, I got overwhelmed by the end. I also announced the pregnancy on social media on Leap Day, which was also exciting/scary.

3. Questions for the group?
How much anxiety & stress is normal vs. reason to talk to a healthcare provider? I've wanted to be a mom for ages and I'm glad this is finally happening, BUT my anxiety is also so high right now (I've been in treatment for years already).

If anybody else had trouble feeling like a very wanted pregnancy was really happening and/or having a hard time picturing the baby as real, anecdotes would help.

4. Let's talk maternity/paternity leave - what's your plan/status if you don't mind sharing?
I'm in Canada so thankfully will have plenty of maternity leave. I'm due near the end of August and I plan on taking the 12-month option, then possibly a couple extra weeks unpaid to bring me to Labour Day in 2021. I've been with my nanny family since 2015 and they are willing to be flexible with me (it helps that they have 4 retired grandparents in town and all of the kids will be going to full-time school most of my leave.) My husband is going to take his 5 weeks of paternity leave, but we need to figure out more specifics there. If he has to take it all at once he will take it in the beginning, if not he might take 3 weeks after birth and 2 weeks later in the year.

[tiptoetulips]

anastasia517 I never think it hurts to seek additional help/counseling for anxiety/mental health. If you’re thinking you may possibly need support then you probably do.
1. 16w3d
2. I got diagnosed with the flu yesterday despite having the shot. I’ve been down for the count. I was within the tamilfu window but it made me throw up so with the increased risk for dehydration they told me to quit taking it. I also canceled my OB appointment (prior to the official diagnosis, they didn’t need me up in there like that). On the plus side with all my laying around I’ve felt lots of movement.
3. If you had the shot and the flu while pregnant how long did it take you to recover?
4. I’ll take 12 weeks. Most of it unpaid. I think I have about 4 weeks of PTO saved currently. Dh is self employed so he will take some time but nothing set in stone. I think he went back part time after a week or 2 last time.

[madDawg228]

1. 20w, 4d

2. My 20w anatomy scan today went well and Baby Boy is looking healthy! My doctor sent in my results less than 2 hrs after the u/s. He is measuring a little big - 8 days larger measurement avg than my EDD. I have a feeling he'll be a big baby when he's born.

Big Vent - I'm in Seattle and the COVID-19 scare is real. I'm keeping up with all the extra healthy preventive stuff I've been doing all cold/flu season, but this new unknown virus is scary.

3. What questions/things to keep in mind did you have for your hospital/maternity ward visit? I'll be scheduling that soon-ish.

4. We're still figuring out the leave situation, but it's looking like I'll be able to take at least 16 weeks of leave at about 60% paid. H will probably be able to take 2 weeks off after birth to help me, we don't have family nearby. After I go back to work, H will take 13-16 weeks off. WA St just started their (partially) Paid Family Leave program this year - thus everything is still being figured out.

[urbancowgirl]

madDawg228, I would ask what baby gear the hospital provides. I was surprised to learn on my tour that our hospital provides diapers but not wipes. They don't supply clothing here, but in TX (with my first) they did. I would also ask about food service. In TX, meals were served three times a day but at our current hospital food is available room service-style 24/7. I would also ask what furniture the rooms contain (if it isn't obvious) so your H has an idea of what his sleeping situation will be if he plans to stay overnight. Some rooms here have couches, but others only have recliners. My H is a little nervous that we won't get a couch and has been joking that he's going to tip the nurses to get a good room, ha ha.