I also question the value of your DH going. I mean, this is HORRIBLE, horrible, but if he can't see his brother or really help in any way...then is it worth the risk? Maybe he feels he needs to be there for his SIL and for his dad?
If he definitely is going, I think I would lean towards flying, too. With masks and sanitizer.
I would stay the fuck home! There is absolutely nothing he can do right now to change the situation and there is no reason to venture out and interact with people who could potentially be asymptomatic carriers. You need to treat every person you interact with like they are infected right now. It sucks but that is currently our new "normal".
I’m sorry. I understand what you are saying here and don’t disagree but this, I feel, is unnecessarily harsh. You can get your point across without being so callous.
Seriously. alleinesein, read wildrice's post. She gave the same advice but managed to be kind.
Given the two options in the OP, I would fly, nonstop, and trying to take all precautions possible during the journey and while there (ex: not being super physically close to his dad or others). I would then plan to have your H isolate himself in your house once he gets back. I'm so sorry your family is going through this.
Post by mountaingirl on Apr 3, 2020 17:07:22 GMT -5
I am so sorry. I would just buy a one way ticket for now and worry about getting home later. I wish the best for your family and pray your H travels safe and clear of any germs.
I am so very sorry. I am in IL and have heard most hospitals are still letting people (or a person) in at the end and I hope that is the case with him too (but even more so, I hope he recovers).
Oh goodness. I am so sorry. Of course he *shouldn't* go but I would not be able to stay home and I can understand where your H is coming from. If my sibling was dying and there was a chance that I could have been there, said goodbye, been more supportive... I would be devastated if I'd missed it.
That said, I think it's important to plan ahead. 1-- how much of a hardship will it be on you, for him to be gone indefinitely? 2-- where can he self-isolate when he comes home? 3-- who has a car that he could borrow to get home if he cannot fly? I don't think I would assume he could rent a car right now. 4-- what are the risk factors for your H and your FIL?
I’m so incredibly sorry. As hard as it is, I don’t think I would send H. Unless the potential Risk to his dad and SIL is one you are ok with (it may be, I don’t know their health and how they have quarantined up to this point).
I would have him talk to SIL and his dad about if they feel they need him there. Of course he wants to be with them, but in this situation it could be more stressful for them. It may be better for all of them if he goes later. I’m possibly facing this for another relative and I don’t think I will go. If it was my own sibling who is 20 hours away, it would be hard not to. I would probably drive with my whole family and stay there for the rest of quarantine, even if it meant isolating for 2 weeks when we arrived.
Yes, you should consider all the questions that others have raised about him potentially being gone a long time, getting infected, etc. But for me, in your situation, I'd book a nonstop one-way flight and figure out things from there. Beyond your H's own desire to be there I'd think it would be really comforting for the wife to have someone there.
I would stay the fuck home! There is absolutely nothing he can do right now to change the situation and there is no reason to venture out and interact with people who could potentially be asymptomatic carriers. You need to treat every person you interact with like they are infected right now. It sucks but that is currently our new "normal".
Beyond your H's own desire to be there I'd think it would be really comforting for the wife to have someone there.
I'm so sorry. Has he asked his SIL what she wants?
Not to be morbid, but if I were in that situation I would be terrified of getting sick and leaving my children without a parent to care for them. As hard as it would be to be alone, I wouldn't want someone who traveled in my house around me and my kids. Depending on her emotions and circumstances she may feel differently though.
Post by aliciabella on Apr 3, 2020 18:32:59 GMT -5
I am so sorry to hear about that and I would do the same exact thing as him to be out there for his father, brother and his family. How devastating:(
I personally would drive. I would bet the drive time would be cut by at least a 1/3 since literally no one is on the roads. The PA turnpike was empty the other day. And though many people might not be flying, the airlines only have a skeleton crew with limited planes, so the flight may be more packed than one would think. Also, with the updated information about it being more "airborne" than first believed, I would think driving would be safer.
“With sorrow—for this Court, but more, for the many millions of American women who have today lost a fundamental constitutional protection—we dissent,”
I would stay the fuck home! There is absolutely nothing he can do right now to change the situation and there is no reason to venture out and interact with people who could potentially be asymptomatic carriers. You need to treat every person you interact with like they are infected right now. It sucks but that is currently our new "normal".
Give me a fucking break. If leaving the house is ever fucking warranted, this is when it is fucking warranted. I hope you haven't left your home since it started, and will not until it is over otherwise you are just a hypocrite.
Thanks everyone for your opinions and thoughts. There’s no good answer. DH is still undecided and waiting for his mom to call. The latest updates aren’t good. He has severe head trauma and they have let my SIL, and DHs parents come in one at a time to see him which I assume is bad news. He was riding his bike and was hit by a semi. It’s just...awful on every level.
If DH does go he would stay at his dad’s house who has been socially isolating (and basically isolates even when a pandemic isn’t going on). No one has talked to my SIL. She’s obviously distraught and has her parents driving in to help with the kids etc. A good friend has been the point of contact for everything. DH wouldn’t stay with her or the kids. I think it’s more about his dad. His dad lives alone and is kind of a lonely guy. His oldest brother died in a bike accident as well when he was a kid. It’s all just really traumatizing.
I think he should stay home. But I’m not putting my foot down. If it was my sister I honestly don’t know what I would do.