I want to fast forward to 2021, assuming things are better then. I feel hopeless, helpless and like I'm no longer good at any of the things I was before. I don't understand the world right now and don't know how to keep explaining it to my kids, you know?
Today was my grandma's funeral and now I have to deal with family who are frustrating me. I'm surprised I didn't cry more. I'm hoping I'll be able to cry again soon. Some of my family decided to talk politics and I just stayed away because I will lose my shit on people. And my uncle's wife is rubbing me the wrong way. I just want to tell people to fuck off and let us grieve.
My county is turning "green" next Friday, which means my office expects us to come back to work instead of telecommuting. I am not at all happy about it, but trying my best to wear my "everything is fine" manager's hat so I don't cause an entire team full of unhappiness. We're planning for 50% occupancy, so half the team will be in one week while the other half telecommutes, then switch. I just think it's a wasted effort to bring us in to the office when we still can't meet in the conference rooms or get close to each other. What's the point of me driving 30 min just to skype call with everyone all day? I can do that from home just as well. But the big bosses are not WFH supporters, so they're pushing for everyone to go back ASAP.