Where my 37 year old plus first time moms?

[carrotsmakemefat]

What advice do you have for me? We’re trying in a couple months officially (one month before the wedding). I’m not freaked out right now but I’m sure it will come. I’m already on my prenatals and with autoimmune have a good doctor I trust who is also into women’s health.

How long did it take you to get pregnant? I’m trying to not stress yet and I just use the cycle app to generally track fertility now. Haven’t been on BC for years except condoms and in the past year just avoided the fertile window with no protection. I already know I don’t ovulate monthly but otherwise my fertility is decent for my age.

I guess I just wanted to pop in here ... I feel like I have lots of info. I work in women’s health and teach fertility, prenatal and postnatal classes. But that doesn’t mean I’m at all emotionally prepared for the pending freak outs.

[joy]

It took us over two years to get pregnant... if you haven’t succeeded in six months, go see an RE.

Honestly, pregnancy was easier than parenting. The shift from “I do anything I want whenever I want” to “who is going to watch the baby?” all the time was the hardest transition for me since I lived so free for so long. Oh, and having a stomach virus while parenting is just hell.

My advice would just be to relax. Everything in moderation. Be ready for plans to change all the time and try to go with it. I was diagnosed with previa at 20 weeks, told at 28 weeks to prepare for a delivery at 36 weeks but then it was fine at 33 weeks and I was pregnant until 41 weeks. Cool, cool, cool. It’s out of my hands.

Good luck!

[joy]

What autoimmune issue? I have Hashimotos. It was truly not a big deal - I took twice my normal dose of Synthroid 4 times a week. My TSH was very stable and I was checked every six weeks or so through pregnancy.

You got this!

[sdlaura]

I’m a 39-year-old fourth time mom, but two of my best friends were in your boat. They both got married at over 35 and have two kids within two years. Older moms are pretty common among my friends.

I highly highly recommend acupuncture - it helped me so much. We had trouble getting pregnant with our first when I was 30. After clomid we did, and then had a late loss at 21 weeks. Went back on clomid and no luck so decided to try acupuncture before an RE, and was successful immediately. Then got pregnant the first try with babies 2 and 3, at ages 32 and 36, and it took 5 cycles for baby number 4 at age 38. I did acupuncture every time to get pregnant and throughout pregnancy. I also don’t ovulate monthly but acupuncture improved my cycles.

I like this piece on age and fertility:

www.google.com/amp/s/expectingscience.com/2015/03/06/the-mythical-fertility-cliff-at-age-35/amp/

[sapphireblue]

My advice would be not to wait too long to see a specialist. I agree with the previous advice for six months.

I waited too long and we ended up at a fertility clinic but at that point because I had waited so long we ended up doing IVF with a donor egg. I also did the acupuncture--we have an acupuncturist here in Providence who is called the "baby doctor" because he has helped so many women get pregnant. He has a whole wall in his office with pictures of the babies.

I don't know if he really helped but I did get pregnant on the first try with IVF both times.

We jumped right to the donor egg because we didn't have a ton of money to try a lot of fertility methods and I was 43 years old. I had to do a bunch of extra tests to make sure I was healthy enough at my age but it all went really smoothly.

[sapphireblue]

Good luck!!!

[joy]

This should be standard for everyone, but be sure to meet with a genetics counselor if you do any testing (cell-free, Harmoni, etc). What those tests can truly tell you as well as what contribution your age makes need to be put in context.

I’m a scientist and went in all “I know this stuff” and walked out very surprised and pleased that I met with her. She taught me a lot, calmed my nerves, and explained exactly what the tests can and cannot tell me.

[sporklemotion]

I don’t have much to add beyond anecdotes. I had my girls at 41 and 43. I had normal pregnancies and no major issues— more monitoring, especially towards the end, but not much else that was different due to my age.

I agree that genetic counseling is helpful— in my case, it helped me contextualize information and calmed me down about risks.

I found a practice that had lots of older patients in it— I was on the later end of the curve for sure, but I wasn’t unusual for the practice I chose. So I felt a little more comfortable with the practice.

[starryfish]

If you don’t ovulate every month. Definitely go see a specialist if you aren’t pregnant after 6 months.

We had to do iui to get my first at 30 years old. Then had to do ivf to get our second (I’m 35 now and pg).

Good luck

[MixedBerryJam]

I got married at 37, pregnant at 39, ftm at 40 with my second at 41 (it was a busy time!) I don't have anything to add that hasn't been said already but good luck! My life didn't go exactly as planned but the kids are in their 20s now and I sort of like them. Be prepared for a lot of "So you have the grand kids for the day? Nice."

[cricketwife]

I was a FTM at 37. I went off the pill and got pregnant immediately- like too soon, lol as I was trying to have a summer baby since I’m a teacher and that did not work out. But it took us well over a year for the second one and that was a shock/hard after the first had been so easy.

Good luck. Also, all the stuff that you see and hear on here will probably freak you out about pregnancy, childbirth, parenting, etc, but try not to let our grumpiness out you off! ;-)

[carrotsmakemefat]

Jul 5, 2020 19:14:05 GMT -5 starryfish said:

If you don’t ovulate every month. Definitely go see a specialist if you aren’t pregnant after 6 months.

We had to do iui to get my first at 30 years old. Then had to do ivf to get our second (I’m 35 now and pg).

Good luck

Thanks! I only know because I went to a fertility clinic when my sister passed away from Ovarian Cancer. I almost had my ovaries out (another story). My period have TMI —- been stronger than usual so I am hoping it’s a good sign. My left ovary is a little lazy and the right was on target. Ha ha

[carrotsmakemefat]

Jul 5, 2020 14:15:26 GMT -5 joy said:

What autoimmune issue? I have Hashimotos. It was truly not a big deal - I took twice my normal dose of Synthroid 4 times a week. My TSH was very stable and I was checked every six weeks or so through pregnancy.

You got this!

Lyme and Addisons Disease.

[joy]

Jul 5, 2020 22:56:25 GMT -5 carrotsmakemefat said:

Jul 5, 2020 14:15:26 GMT -5 joy said:

What autoimmune issue? I have Hashimotos. It was truly not a big deal - I took twice my normal dose of Synthroid 4 times a week. My TSH was very stable and I was checked every six weeks or so through pregnancy.

You got this!

Lyme and Addisons Disease.

Ahh. I see. I’m glad you’re planning ahead.

[notsopicky]

FTM @ 37. Got married @ 32, had a miscarriage (blighted ovum) @ 34, got pregnant again @ 36, E born @ 37. Took us 8 months of actively trying (we were actually sitting in a fertility doc appt pregnant--didn't know it--that was weird).

Pregnancy was hard on me, but I don't know that age was a factor--it could be that I just had a hard time and would have had a hard time regardless of how old I was.

We did do CVS testing (I have a rare asymptomatic form of a genetic disease for which H is also a carrier), and I would recommend it.

[somersault72]

Not a first time mom at 37, but had DD at 37 (had DS at 27). It took us 8 months to get pregnant, we went to Clomid/Femara after 6 months and were successful. Pregnancy was much more difficult the second time around but I think age AND weight had a factor in that, but I think mostly my daughter is just extra.

I will CAUTIOUSLY recommend genetic counseling. We went to one due to an abnormal NIPT and the GC scared the ever loving shit out of us. 0/5 stars, would not recommend. I know there are probably some fantastic ones out there though.

It sounds like you're already off to a great start, tracking your cycles, taking a PNV, and keeping your AIs in check. Good luck!

[joy]

somersault72 - oh no! I’m so sorry!!

My comment about the genetics counselor was more about understanding the generalities of genetic testing. Like, there are thousands of genetic issues that could show up in a baby and current tests look for a handful. I cringe a little when people say all is well when the early testing comes back clear - no, it means those specific things they tested for are most likely not present.

I also learned that a CVS pulls cells from the placenta and there is an assumption made that the DNA in the placenta is the same as the fetus, which is a reasonable one to make but not 100% true in all cases.

I also appreciated the explanations of the % results that many tests give you (99% sure it is not present, etc). I went in just wanting an amnio so I would get definitive yes or no and the counselor was like “okay, I hear you but let me explain why the blood tests are just as good...” It was so interesting!

I can’t speak to specific genetic issues and how those are handled. I’m sorry your experience was so poor.

[somersault72]

Jul 6, 2020 9:35:27 GMT -5 joy said:

somersault72 - oh no! I’m so sorry!!

My comment about the genetics counselor was more about understanding the generalities of genetic testing. Like, there are thousands of genetic issues that could show up in a baby and current tests look for a handful. I cringe a little when people say all is well when the early testing comes back clear - no, it means those specific things they tested for are most likely not present.

I also learned that a CVS pulls cells from the placenta and there is an assumption made that the DNA in the placenta is the same as the fetus, which is a reasonable one to make but not 100% true in all cases.

I also appreciated the explanations of the % results that many tests give you (99% sure it is not present, etc). I went in just wanting an amnio so I would get definitive yes or no and the counselor was like “okay, I hear you but let me explain why the blood tests are just as good...” It was so interesting!

I can’t speak to specific genetic issues and how those are handled. I’m sorry your experience was so poor.

Yes, I didn't know that about the NIPT either, that it's from placenta cells in mom's blood! I actually did the NIPT due to age and anxiety (I work in OB/Gyn so was hoping to put my mind somewhat at ease and that backfired). It came back 38/100 chance for Turner's syndrome. Even though baby had NONE of the signs sonographically I was a damn mess (especially after she told us our baby could just die at any time). I ended up getting an amnio and all was well. They also tested my placenta after I delivered and that was normal as well. I do think GCs are a wealth of information, even working in OB as long as I have, I definitely learned things about the testing process and what the results actually mean.

[joy]

Jul 6, 2020 9:45:02 GMT -5 somersault72 said:

Jul 6, 2020 9:35:27 GMT -5 joy said:

somersault72 - oh no! I’m so sorry!!

My comment about the genetics counselor was more about understanding the generalities of genetic testing. Like, there are thousands of genetic issues that could show up in a baby and current tests look for a handful. I cringe a little when people say all is well when the early testing comes back clear - no, it means those specific things they tested for are most likely not present.

I also learned that a CVS pulls cells from the placenta and there is an assumption made that the DNA in the placenta is the same as the fetus, which is a reasonable one to make but not 100% true in all cases.

I also appreciated the explanations of the % results that many tests give you (99% sure it is not present, etc). I went in just wanting an amnio so I would get definitive yes or no and the counselor was like “okay, I hear you but let me explain why the blood tests are just as good...” It was so interesting!

I can’t speak to specific genetic issues and how those are handled. I’m sorry your experience was so poor.

Yes, I didn't know that about the NIPT either, that it's from placenta cells in mom's blood! I actually did the NIPT due to age and anxiety (I work in OB/Gyn so was hoping to put my mind somewhat at ease and that backfired). It came back 38/100 chance for Turner's syndrome. Even though baby had NONE of the signs sonographically I was a damn mess (especially after she told us our baby could just die at any time). I ended up getting an amnio and all was well. They also tested my placenta after I delivered and that was normal as well. I do think GCs are a wealth of information, even working in OB as long as I have, I definitely learned things about the testing process and what the results actually mean.

Oh, very interesting.

The genetics counselor actually told us a story about Turner Syndrome where the tests actually indicated it but the baby had no signs. After birth, the child was genetically normal.

They finally figured out that it was the mother who had undiagnosed Turner Syndrome! Wild.

[purplepenguin7]

I had my first at 36 (turned 37 a month later). It took us about 9-10 months to conceive with loosely trying . I went to my regular OBGYN to discuss fertility and stuff around the 6-7 month mark and she recommended an HSG and then I got pregnant immediately after. I don't know if that was the magic ticket since I have other friends who also had the procedure and it didn't work for them. But, if you already know that you don't ovulate every month, you may want to see an OB or RE earlier than six months.

[somersault72]

Jul 6, 2020 10:46:06 GMT -5 joy said:

Jul 6, 2020 9:45:02 GMT -5 somersault72 said:

Yes, I didn't know that about the NIPT either, that it's from placenta cells in mom's blood! I actually did the NIPT due to age and anxiety (I work in OB/Gyn so was hoping to put my mind somewhat at ease and that backfired). It came back 38/100 chance for Turner's syndrome. Even though baby had NONE of the signs sonographically I was a damn mess (especially after she told us our baby could just die at any time). I ended up getting an amnio and all was well. They also tested my placenta after I delivered and that was normal as well. I do think GCs are a wealth of information, even working in OB as long as I have, I definitely learned things about the testing process and what the results actually mean.

Oh, very interesting.

The genetics counselor actually told us a story about Turner Syndrome where the tests actually indicated it but the baby had no signs. After birth, the child was genetically normal.

They finally figured out that it was the mother who had undiagnosed Turner Syndrome! Wild.

Yes! That happened to one of my patients with her second child!

[calico]

Before we were actually trying, I had started tracking my cycles and using a CB ovulation monitor to really time things right and see if there were any hormonal/cycle concerns. I also started taking supplements for fertility - whether it helped or not is debatable but mentally made me feel better. And it didn’t take long for us but everyone is different and having my info tracked would have made me comfortable getting help sooner if we needed it and what the problem might be. Good luck!

[chocolatepie]

I had my first (and only) at 41. Got pregnant via IVF at 40. We waited too long to see a fertility specialist so you're right to see one if you haven't conceived in 6 months. I did acupuncture during my IVF cycles (along with a ton of other things...).

I have an autoimmune (Crohns) and had an incredibly easy pregnancy. Never sick, felt AMAZING, was never tired, and I loved every minute. I did have complications with unexplained IUGR which resulted in a lot of extra monitoring with high risk and a 37 week induction. I also had birth complications but none were due to my age. We don't know why his birth weight was so small.

My OB just required AMA moms to have non-stress tests towards the end, a few extra sonograms, and induction at week 39. We opted for NIPT and NT scan. We did not test the embryos or do any further prenatal testing.

Good luck to you!

[hermione]

Pregnant at 37, had her at 38. It took 14 months to get pregnant but the first year was, “let’s see what happens.” Once I started using OPKs, it was quick.

My only advice is to get as healthy/fit as you can now. Pregnancy was hard physically and I wish I was in better shape to start with.

[fairfax]

We started trying at 36 and got pregnant via IVF at 38, had DS at 39. You’ve already gotten all the advice I would give: get into a dr (preferably an RE) if you’re not pregnant after 6 months. Definitely be as fit/healthy as you can be - pregnancy was fine for me (some moderate nausea, tired in the 1st trimester but nothing too bad) but now taking care of a 20 lb 9 month old is HARD on my body. We’ll be trying for #2 soon and it’s really challenging for me to get my body into better shape.

It’s all worth it though 😊

[woowoo]

I had our first just shy of 40, we tried for four years, did Clomid, IUI's, then finally IVF. It was a LONG journey made longer because we waited way too long to see a fertility specialist.
If you can, get a fertility screening now. AMH, FSH, etc. It might help you decide how quickly to seek help.
TBH, being AMA and pregnant was the least empowering experience of my life. There is a lot of fear-mongering, SO many tests, and not a lot of collaborative conversation with real disclosure of actual vs. perceived risk. I hated it. Overall though, pregnancy was pretty okay for me. I worked out my entire pregnancy and definitely think that helped with recovery.

We are one and done because it was a lot of $$ and heartache to get here but DS is so so so worth it.

[pinkyp]

I was 37 when I got pregnant, we were very fortunate to conceive after about 4 months of trying. The 2 most helpful things were digital OPKs and switching from K-Y liquid lube to PreSeed. I'd had no clue that KY wasn't sperm-friendly.

I also know many people swear by Mucinex to thin their cervical mucus.

[sdlaura]

I will second OPKs and preseed. I didn’t do temping because it stressed me out and I wanted to know before I ovulated, not after. I used the cheapie strip OPKs though so I could pee on them multiple times a day if I wanted. Actually OP I have some I can send you if you want them - if you wanted to message me your address

[KellyEasterbrook]

I don't have much advice that hasn't already been written above, but wanted to wish you good luck. For me, accepting the fact that almost everything related to pregnancy was out of my control was a tough lesson. 

I'd start the process transferring to an RE if you're not pregnant within four months (it took me a couple months to actually get an appointment after I found one). I also found that having a good therapist and physical therapist were crucial.  I don't know if it was age-related, but I had to go through months of PT after both pregnancies for relaxin issues that did a number on my hips and pelvis.

I started TTC at 30, had my first pregnancy at 35, and finally brought home a baby at 37. So yeah, it took a long time. In that time, I discovered that I had endometriosis, and thyroid issues, and a defect of the uterus that may have been the reason I had to go on bedrest for three months.  I also made the heartbreaking discovery that the good NIPT and NT results don't necessarily mean your baby will not have fatal defects. Honestly, pregnancy was hell, but not for age reasons. It was totally worth all the tears and pain, though. 

[chickadee77]

Not a lot of advice. Honestly, we were able to conceive fairly easily (had my first at 37, second at 41) but had a few losses in between. Not everyone has the same experience. We did end up with a TFMR situation, and I guess all I can say is be open and communicative with your spouse and be aware that how you feel about things in theory might look very different from how you feel in the moment.

Hmm. Come to think of it, that last statement actually applies to all parenting, not just getting pregnant, lol.