Financial Power of Attorney

[dr.girlfriend]

Has anyone sought financial power of attorney for a parent?

Basically, my father largely handled the finances for 50 years of my parents' marriage.  He passed away in April.  We've helped my mom get her finances under control, but she's still very "I don't know what I'm doing!" about it all.  She has a LOT of wealth to potentially lose.

This weekend she got taken in by a phone scammer.  She let the guy talk her into changing her bank information and making two $999 transfers through Zelle from two separate bank accounts, and even when I was literally screaming at her on the other phone line that it was a scam and she should hang up immediately she just kept talking to him.  It was seriously like yelling at the screen of a horror movie and the person in the movie is just obliviously carrying on. 

Even more concerningly, even in the cold light of morning, after she had been told multiple times by both myself, my sister, and the real-life people at both her banks that she had been scammed, AFTER she shut down all her credit cards and locked both bank accounts, and we just spent hours sorting all that, she calls me back like half an hour later and was like, "I found the number that guy (the scammer) gave me and I called it, and he swore he didn't scam me, that he's really working with Amazon's fraud department, and he's going to email me his driver's license..."  I.  Can't.  Even.  

My sister thinks we should look into financial power of attorney.  Has anyone done this or has any tips?  I want my mom to have financial independence for her daily life, but IDK if there's ways to require authorization to prevent her from making any major missteps.  

[imojoebunny]

That's hard. My great grandmother was like that. She would buy crap off the tv she didn't have any use for or give money to "causes" that weren't real and to televangelist, though she was a Christian Scientist. She, also, hoarded large amounts of cash in her house, which is pretty dangerous for a person who relied on people to come to her home to help her with the yard, cleaning, and her care. She did stuff like, not cash my great grandfather's social security benefit checks, for many years, since she didn't think she was entitled to survivor benefits, and didn't ever bother to call, just let the checks pile up, uncashed. My grandmother did get power of attorney, but by then, she had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, so Grandma could force the issue, without her consent. How does your mom feel about having you control of her finances? Would she be willing, without being forced to? I would first try to approach is as, mom, we do not want you to have this worry and we are willing to help you and see how she responds. I am sorry. Aging parents can be hard.

[farmvillelover]

dr.girlfriend I'm so sorry this happened to your mom. I deal with this a lot with work. I actually just did the exact thing the other week after a client's mother had people from "church" come to get a donation which should have been $100 and turned into $10k. His mom did not totally lack capacity but definitely vulnerable. And it's difficult to get a medical professional to actually write that someone lacks capacity to handle financial affairs unless they are truly far gone.

What we ended up doing was setting her up with a checking account that she could access, and limiting those funds (basically, just her monthly SS payment and a little extra if she needs). Unfortunately AND fortunately, for anything more she needs to communicate it to her son (also my client) who can give her extra money so long as he knows what it for. We took the brokerage account, her house, rental property and large savings accounts and titled them in a living trust of which her son is the ONLY Trustee hence only he can control those assets. She consented to this in writing with a full recitation of why we were doing it this way. His 2 siblings also consented in writing. I also drafted that any amendment to the Trust required either the consent of the Trustee or a court order. I have done this strategy in the past and it has worked. Let me know if you want to talk through this and/or if you want a referral in your mom's county.

[imojoebunny]

farmvillelover, Thank you for your information. My parents are 78. If my father dies before my mother, my brother and I will need to do this for my mother. She hasn't even written a check in 30+ years. I really don't think she is capable of paying the cable bill, much less dealing with all their investments and properties, and I don't think she wants to even try.

[tacokick]

I’m doing this with my dad now that my mom is in hospice. She had handled everything until the last few weeks.

In my state I would have POA but he could still do whatever he wanted. My concerns are more that he might have issues paying a bill or something if he was unwell than worrying about scammers.

You might want/need to seek some sort of trustee or guardianship if you want to be able to control what money she has access to.

[madringal]

Aug 29, 2020 20:20:33 GMT -5 Catlawdy said:

I'm sorry your dealing with this.

The problem with a POA in my state (I can only speak to mine) is that while it gives you authority, it doesn't take it away from her. She can still take actions on her own behalf.

It is an extremely emotionally taxing decision to have to make, but I would talk to an attorney about whether or not she would meet criteria to have you appointed as guardian (some states would call it conservator) over her financial affairs.

Same. We deal with this often at work. Having POA doesn’t mean that the bank can turn your mother away. If she walks in wanting 10k in cash or wants to wire money to god knows who, they can’t tell her no. We can ask all kinds of questions and make recommendations, but it’s her money. She can also rescind POA at any time, or simply have the POA removed from her accounts.