Loss

[turboteal]

So I went back for another scan yesterday at 7+3 and they could not find a heartbeat. I will go back Friday for another scan to confirm, but considering they could see the heartbeat a week earlier, I think it's pretty unlikely they will find one tomorrow. It didn't look like it had grown since last time either (the tech didn't even do any measurements this time, the scan was over really quickly so I already had a bad feeling that it had stopped growing or was not even there this time? I'm not sure). I'm still doing estrogen and PIO until Friday. I'm not sure if stopping the meds will then lead to finishing the miscarriage? Or the doc mentioned taking medication to induce or a D&C as a possibility.

Anyone with experience in this situation, I would appreciate some info on how it happened for you/what it was like and how long until you were able to do anything again. We are looking at having to do another retrieval since this was the last euploid embryo we had 😞.

[pandora89]

No advise but I just wanted to say I am so sorry. ((Hugs)).

[pinkpeony08]

I'm so sorry. I can't speak to the retrieval part as I have been able to conceive naturally, but just have had trouble staying pregnant.

My last loss at 6 weeks, I also continued progesterone until the D&C. I stopped PIO, but I continued vaginal progesterone in hopes of delaying my body fully miscarrying to ensure I could send the tissue for genetic testing. I was having mild cramping and was very scared it wouldn't hold off. I have never induced miscarriage at home. Because most of my losses were later, my OB said the likelihood hemorrhage was higher with induction with high probability of retaining tissue and requiring a D&C anyway. I also wanted some control over the timing in a situation that felt like I had no control. I was worried about bleeding in the middle of the night and needing to go to the emergency room, logistics, etc. The D&C was physically easy though emotionally exhausting.

I would anticipate they could schedule the D&C for early next week if that is what you wanted to do. Otherwise, I presume you could medically induce passing the tissue as soon as the weekend.

[bcv513]

I’m so sorry. My loss was around the same time. My doc at the time told me to stop taking the progesterone and I would just have a regular period.

Yeah, she lied. I stopped the progesterone and it took almost two weeks for anything to happen. Then when it did it was nothing like a regular period. It was the worst pain of my life. I called the doctor to ask if it was normal and she said to take Tylenol.

I switched doctors after that. If you have the option I would absolutely due the d&c.

[achi]

I'm so sorry. This sucks so much.

[msmerymac]

I'm so sorry turboteal.

Stopping the meds will induce a miscarriage... eventually. In theory. There's no rush, but your doctor might want you to choose meds or the D&C in a few weeks if things don't move along. You can also choose either of those options off the bat.

I've done all three of those things. Everyone makes different choices and feels comfortable with different things. I've chosen D&C the last 2 times and here's why: 1) there's no waiting and not knowing when or what is going to happen (bleeding and cramping can be intense if it happens naturally), 2) the doctor can send it for genetic testing. Even though my embryos were PGS testing we wanted to make sure nothing else showed up as a cause, and 3) It was mentally healthy for me to have it finish sooner rather than later in order to move forward.

My doctor said your first period after a miscarriage might be just withdrawal bleeding after your HCG gets back down to negative, and recommends waiting until the NEXT one to move forward, but your doctor will be able to tell you. Good luck and again, I'm so, so sorry.

[seaturtle]

I'm so so sorry. I was in a similar situation with my first transfer. I kept on meds and there was still a heartbeat with no growth for another week or so. Nothing happened on its own for at least 2 weeks and I opted for a D&C around 11 or 12 weeks over meds because I wanted genetic testing done (non-PGS tested embryo), and honestly read of a few non-pleasant experiences on here and didn't want to prolong it.

In terms of timing - that was mid-Dec and I had bleeding a little past Christmas, got my next period mid-Jan where I was able to start the process, and had a FET mid-Feb that resulted in DS (I think our LOs are around the same age).

[Jalapeñomel]

I’m so sorry.

I never wanted to wait for my body to miscarriage naturally (although one of my losses they indicated I should’ve miscarriage weeks before), so I’ve opted for medicine and D&C.

[onthemove]

No advice/recommendations, but hugs from an internet stranger.

[Jalapeñomel]

How are you feeling?

[thedutchgirl]

I'm so sorry.

[turboteal]

Thanks everyone. I was thinking I "should" just take the meds for some reason (like, doing the d&c was unnecessary or the easy way out?) but my mom convinced me I didn't need to go through that if I didn't have to. I had the d&c yesterday, it went well, physically very easy and I'm feeling fine today. I did have a moment in the bathroom early this morning where I saw the mesh hospital panties from yesterday and flashed back to the last time I wore those, aka when I brought my daughter home, and that did set me off crying. I feel like the hormone shift must be happening now and affecting my mood, it felt like a much more out of control sadness than I have felt so far with this loss. Hoping it doesn't get too much worse. My doc did say we can go straight into another retrieval cycle once I get a period again, potentially could do it before the end of the year but I suspect my period wont come quick enough to stim before their little holiday break, so maybe January. Thanks again everyone for thoughts and insight.

[Jalapeñomel]

I’m so sorry. I hope you are able to move on physical and mentally. Hugs