MTBM 11/09

[achi]

1. How far along are you? Team?

2. Rants, raves, feelings?

3. Are you having a shower/sprinkle? If it's virtual/drive by do you know what it will be like?

4. How much time off are you/your SO planning to take after baby arrives?

[achi]

1. How far along are you? Team?

23 weeks, team blue!

2. Rants, raves, feelings?

Physically feeling good - energy levels remain relatively good/normal, and the morning gagging/puking is more or less over which is a nice change compared to DS1 when I threw up basically every single morning until he was born. I'm starting to have more hip/sacroiliac discomfort but I expected that.

@@@ Death of a pet mentioned below

It was a hard weekend in our house. We had to put our dog down on Friday afternoon. She was 11 and had been declining the last few months - disc issues, recurrent UTIs, etc. Mid last week we came to the decision it was soon going to be time, but things change rapidly by Friday morning so we took the day off to be with her and then let her go. H is still a wreck (he got her as a puppy). I'm sad, but honestly a bit relieved (which of course makes me feel like a monster). I wasn't sure how I was going to handle a newborn, c-section recovery and a dog with bladder issues/ailing health. DS1 cried on my shoulder for nearly 45 minutes straight. He seemed to understand (he's 5) and we read some books about where animals go when they die, but then he told our neighbour that she had gone to the doctors to get better. Not sure if that's a coping thing, but we'll continue to have check ins when he's ready. 

3. Are you having a shower/sprinkle? If it's virtual/drive by do you know what it will be like?

There is some talk in my circle of doing a small sprinkle like we did for another friend of ours, but it will likely be drop off and a zoom call.

4. How much time off are you/your SO planning to take after baby arrives?

As a Canadian we have the option to pick a 12 or 18 month leave. The $ we get is the same for both (smaller payments for longer for the 18 month option) but we can't afford to do the 18 month option and honestly I don't want to leave my department in someone else's hands that long (HR manager). I'm going to be hiring someone more junior who can more or less keep things afloat and I'll be in with baby once day/week once the haze has passed to deal with the more strategic/complicated matters.

H will take 2 weeks vacation initially and will then the 5 weeks he's entitled to at some point later, likely during the summer when DS is not in school.

I realize that we are very, very lucky to have these options available to us.

[jennistarr1]

achi, I'm sorry about your dog and the heart aches of your boys

I think you guys know I had my baby almost 13 weeks ago. She's doing pretty great and I'm back to work now (but from home, 12 weeks maternity leave...husband took 5 weeks, then worked from home, now one more week off as I transition back to working...we have no immediate plans for daycare and I plan on reassessing at beginning of year)

covid cases are rising again in our state, just as I'm getting comfortable introducing the baby to people. It's really hard...awkwardness in the moment followed by guilt after the fact.

I had a zoom call sprinkle. I actually felt like it was kind of awkward but I definitely appreciated it

Still here and rooting for everyone, let me know if you have any questions for me

[corgimom]

1. How far along are you? Team?

29w, 2d - Team pink!


2. Rants, raves, feelings?

DH had to work long days all weekend so it was a loooong weekend. Saturday was fun with DD and we played a lot outside and I took her grocery shopping with me. I think I might have done too much because my back and pelvis hurt to bad that night. Sunday started okay and I wrapped presents and starting decorating for Christmas (because I'm crazy and I love Christmas and we need stuff that makes us feel good this year!) but DD was just grumpy and didn't want to listen all day so it was sort of rough. Work is still busy and I'm just tired and uncomfortable. Hopefully DH doesn't work this weekend because I have a 3-day weekend and want us to potty train DD sooo, we'll see how that goes lol


3. Are you having a shower/sprinkle? If it's virtual/drive by do you know what it will be like?

Probably not? My friend/co-worker mentioned something once and I sort of brushed it off because I'm not a fan of occasions where I have to open gifts in front of people lol but after making myself a registry for the discount and seeing all the little random things and thinking of all the diapers I'll need, I really wouldn't mind so much!


4. How much time off are you/your SO planning to take after baby arrives?
I will be off for 14 weeks because my company's new paid parental leave policy. I'm very lucky they implemented this when they did because I get 14 weeks fully paid. With DD#1 I took 12 weeks of FLMA leave but was only paid for 4 weeks at 60% through short-term disability and I had to take my PTO throughout the rest to pay for my health insurance premiums. I feel lucky that we could afford that. I was planning on taking 8 weeks this time so I'm so so so grateful to have 14. DH will take at least a week but may take more, but probably no more than 2. He gets no parental leave at his company and very little PTO. Parental leave in the US sucks so bad.


achi, I'm so so sorry about your pup. /virtual hugs

[lovesherheels]

1. How far along are you? Team?
28+2, boy.

2. Rants, raves, feelings?
I am so tired of being tired, lol. And my hips/pelvis are really starting to ache. But. That's everyone at this stage in the game. I feel REALLY behind on DS2's nursery and stuff, so I think I'm going to take a couple days to work on that over the next few weeks.

3. Are you having a shower/sprinkle? If it's virtual/drive by do you know what it will be like?
Two of my best friends have talked me into a small virtual sprinkle. I think it'll be less than 15 people total, which is fine with me. I don't know anything about it past that.

4. How much time off are you/your SO planning to take after baby arrives?
I'm planning on taking about 12wks, maybe a little more; it depends on a couple things here at work that I'll hopefully have more of a resolution around in the next few weeks. I get 8wks paid and then will tap into my vacation time from there. 

For my DH, I'm not sure yet. He owns his own consulting firm and can really do what he wants. I suspect he'll work from home the first few weeks while I'm recovering from the c-section instead of going to his office to be more accessible/help more, and decrease his hours rather than truly take off. With DS1 his company provided 6wks of leave, but frankly we can't afford for him to not bring in a paycheck for six weeks, so ... I have no idea lol.


achi -- omg I'm broken for you about having to put your dog down. I'm so sorry. However you are feeling is ok -- same for your DH and your DS. Sending lots of hugs to you all. 

jennistarr1 -- I'm glad everything is going well for you! I know the decisions you're making about introductions to your new LO are tough, but trust your gut. You're doing the best you can with the info you have (like we all are/will be).

corgimom -- Oh let me know how potty training goes! My DH was like, "DS1 will be PTed by the time the second kiddo comes along right?" And I basically laughed in his face. He's showing no signs of being ready or interested, so ::shrug::. I figure once DS1 is at preschool FT (starting in Jan) we can worry about it more. lol.

[corgimom]

lovesherheels, I will! I'm trying to go into it with optimism and confidence but also realistic/low expectations. DD is 30 months, has peed on the potty on and off for months, and is all about being a "big girl" right so so I think we have a good chance of success but... she's 30 months so who knows! DH is very breezy about it and is sure it'll be no problem and she'll take to it super easy, lol! Bless his heart.

If your DH wants your first to be PT'd in time for the second, tell him to give it a try and have fun while you book yourself into a hotel for a weekend!

[achi]

Thanks for your kind words everyone! H is doing better today and went back to work after taking a personal day yesterday.

jennistarr1 - I totally understand the reluctance to expose baby to people right now. She's still so little.

corgimom - I'm so impressed that you're wrapping Christmas gifts already! I've finished shopping for H and DS (still need to do stockings, but that part is easy) but haven't wrapped anything yet.

lovesherheels - I hear you on the pelvic ache, it sucks.

[lovesherheels]

Nov 10, 2020 10:02:49 GMT -5 corgimom said:

lovesherheels , 
If your DH wants your first to be PT'd in time for the second, tell him to give it a try and have fun while you book yourself into a hotel for a weekend!

Ooooooh, a pro tip! Thanks for that!  

[corgimom]

achi, I'm sort of impressed with myself, too, LOL! I'm usually pretty on top of it for Christmas presents but I wanted to get everything done really early this year and I'm almost 100% done! I just have to get DD her Santa gifts and do stockings for her and DH! I may get a few little things here or there to fill in for folks, but it feels so so good to be done so I just went ahead and wrapped everything I could, lol. Less to do later when I'm really, really pregnant! Also, spoiler: I LOVE Christmas and it feels like such a bright spot in this weird year.

lovesherheels, Hah! Happy to help! I have a midwife appoint Saturday morning so I'm totally leaving DH to figure it out while I'm gone but I think a whole weekend at a hotel sounds a lot better!

[dreamcrisp1]

1. How far along are you? Team? 6+2, Green

2. Rants, raves, feelings? I had my first dinner in 4 days today! I was craving a club sandwich so we called my favourite restaurant and got them to make me a dairy free one. It was sooo good. I only ate half but still more than I’ve had in 4 days. Yay ! Also had my 1st ultrasound today and got to see my little bean and its heartbeat. It was very reassuring. Next Appt is December 8 and then we will share our news as an early Christmas surprise!

3. Are you having a shower/sprinkle? If it's virtual/drive by do you know what it will be like? No. I live 6000kms away from friends and family.

4. How much time off are you/your SO planning to take after baby arrives? I will stop work for at least 12 months. My H will get 6-7 weeks paid time off I believe plus he has loads of vacation since covid. He gets 5 weeks a year so he will probably use 2 of those and take 8-9 weeks off!

[achi]

dreamcrisp1 congrats on the pregnancy! FX for a smooth and healthy ride.