I need a new credit card and other Starting Over questions

[campermom]

PDQ
I’m getting divorced. I’m doing a new budget.

To be honest I’m very scared and overwhelmed with all the tasks I have to do (new mortgage loan, get husband off deed and title, new phone plans, changing all the auto payments for utilities and other regular payments to different cards etc, change all my accounts to remove his name, etc) plus just parenting 3 kids and working FT in a pandemic. We are about to go virtual again too.

I recently opened a Verizon card which gave me discounts for my cell phone bill. It also has pretty good rewards on gas and groceries (4% in Verizon dollars), dining and take out is 3% and Verizon purchases are 2%.

For other things I’d like to open a card that I can earn (slowly) airline points. This is going to be the only way I’ll ever take a flight w my kids. So I don’t want them to expire. This could be for other purchases, Amazon, etc.

Which card looks good for this purpose?

Other questions: what order to I do these in?
New mortgage loan soon? Car title? Credit card? Home interest Rates are good but we just refinanced in June. I was reluctant to sign but I wasn’t ready for any other changes either. Since then, he has made the decision for us. They may waive some closing costs for me due to the recent closing. I have to apply first.
Do I open the cards before or after the loan approval etc? Or just start changing some auto payments to a card in my name? I have another one too that I never use.

When it’s all said and done I want to close some credit card accounts but I should wait until my loan approvals right?

I’m waiting for him to schedule the mediation but he’s many steps behind me.

[sadlebred]

I'd ask your attorney for guidance on the mortgage and anything home related. Many times you can't take him off of the deed & mortgage until after the divorce is final. In my state, the other person signs a "Quit Claim Deed" over to the home owner. There is no money exchanged. In Georgia it's as easy as him signing it in front of a notary. My attorney took care of the filing. I couldn't refinance until after it was done. Typically you'll negotiate a time frame to refinance in your name only since you can't take someone off of a loan. In my state the time frame is usually 12 months. The other person has no responsibility towards the loan once the divorce is final even though their name is still one it.

I'd go ahead and apply for any CCs you need now since it may be a while on the home loan. Also be sure to close out any CCs you have jointly with him.

Enlist people to help with the kids if you can! Hire a tutor/nanny even 2 days/week, send them to a site where there is a pod of learners and someone to help with homework. Have Grandma/Aunt Bertha come for a month. Don't feel bad about anything or the money spent. Your goal is to ease your stress level for now.

PM me with any questions--it sucks, but there is a good life on the other side!

[keweenawlove]

For credit cards, Chase Sapphire Preferred is a decent starting one and the current sign-on bonus is $750. You can use points for any travel so you're not stuck to one airline. Points done expire as long as you maintain the card - I think the fee is still waived the first year.

I'd make sure to hang onto your oldest credit card if you start canceling because the longest standing line of credit is something they'll look at.

I'm sure this is such a tough time but you've got this!

[ellipses84]

You are starting off great by making a list and prioritizing. Even if you check off one item a week, you’ll be in great shape. Don’t close any credit cards in your name if you are trying to refinance and don’t close your oldest credit card unless you have another one that you opened around the same time frame. If you had cards in your exes name and have to close them, unfortunately it could impact your available credit ratio, although if there’s no balance hopefully it would be ok. Opening 1 new card shouldn’t be that bad and may balance that out if you have great credit and no debt.

I don’t have recs for cards for airlines points. I use chase for cash back. My oldest card is a capital one which I don’t love for points, but they do have a great credit monitoring feature where you can try different scenarios and see how they may impact your credit score, like get a new credit card, pay on time for 6 months, pay off $1000 in debt, etc.

[dr.girlfriend]

I'm sorry I don't have any good advice...I agree with consulting a lawyer about the mortgage- and deed-related stuff. Just wanted to send you my best wishes...it sounds like a lot to deal with but you seem like an amazingly resilient person and you'll get through it.

[Mushe]

I wanted to offer you hugs, campermom! You sound like you have a great start, listing the things you’ll need to do. I’m in California so this may be different for you, but we’d have the refinance done later, so that the parties know if they have equalizing payments to make, etc. Definitely consult an attorney on timing.

For credit cards, the Sapphire Preferred is definitely a solid choice. There’s an annual fee, but it’s under $100 and you can transfer points directly to many partners, or book in their portal. Most things are 1 point per $, but travel is I think 2, and all these cards have quarterly bonus opportunities. I use the Freedom Unlimited as a partner to that, because everything is 1.5 points and it’s no annual fee.

[formerlyak]

I remember the financial stuff being overwhelming. I agree with consulting a lawyer and making a list and just taking it one item at a time.

I wanted to comment on your point about earning miles because it’s the only way you will be able to fly your kids somewhere. I remember being so nervous about money being crazy tight when I got divorced. I kept us in the house, kept DS in his preschool and got no child support because ex couldn’t afford a two bedroom apartment if he paid it and I felt it was in the best interest of ds to have a bedroom at dad’s. I was terrified. But it turned out to be not as tight as I anticipated, because now I had control over ever dollar. No more ex making money decisions that required me to rearrange other things in our budget. And since I had primary physical custody and didn’t get child support, I negotiated getting to claim DS on my taxes every year. This got me a tac refund each year when I was still single which became our vacation fund. It was a nice little surprise that first year.