Chief Season

[al dente]

Eesh anyone doing this currently? I'm not like a super great military spouse as it is, but this is just really bringing it out. I joined the general facebook page for selectee spouses and everyone is posting all the stuff they're doing and I'm over here feeling nice for folding a basket of laundry AND putting it away 😂

They also sent out this email about giving your spouse some "GOOD LOVING" and to help them by having the house clean and tidy and a nice home cooked meal left in the fridge which had me feeling some kind of way.

Anyways I guess this is really just a brain dump haha. Feel free to add any of your current annoyences.

[VillainV]

I have never heard of this?

[dcn]

Is this for the Navy? My H is Army, I haven’t really heard of it either! I did see a mention of it in a fb group I’m in.

But, some spouses go all out for promotions and I’m always over here with a pat on the back. We don’t do much extra. So I feel you!

I will admit that due to covid we can’t do a big ceremony and party for H’a promotion and I’m not upset about that. I’d much rather have a small ceremony and order a nice dinner for ourselves.

[al dente]

Oops ya it's for Navy! It for getting promoted from e6 to e7, which I guess is considered a big jump? But typically its a 6 week initiation during which you basically don't ever see your spouse. So they give the spouses a special spouse sponser, and have all these meetings to make sure everyone is doing ok and whatever.
But this year because of covid they can't meet up like they typically do, so they have a bunch of project assignments. Which is what everyone on the spouse page is doing is all these "orders" that their AD spouse is getting lol. And I am... not that helpful ha or crafty so my poor husband is left to fend forr himself 😂

[dcn]

My friend has a sign that says “World’s Okayest Military Spouse” and I feel that that’s about my level ha. I love my H and am proud of him and respect him but I am not an all in spouse. I rant to him all the time about the ridiculous “traditions” we have to participate in that are just....dumb.

[VillainV]

That sounds miserable. I hate that the assumption is that wives want to/are able to just drop everything to help their husband’s military career.

Funny enough, as an AD woman, people never assume my civilian husband wants to do any of that. He’s actually really supportive, even though like many mil spouses, he works full time.

[Aquatica]

Thanks for explaining! I had no idea this existed and it's interesting to hear what happens in other branches (Army family here).

[morecoffeeplease]

My husband is a chief and thankfully he was away during his chief season. Back then they had to memorize a lot of songs and stuff. It would have stressed me out if he was home. It reminded me of sorority hazing.

Edit: my good friend's husband made it at the same time and she had to do all of this cooking for fundraising for him? Thankfully we didn't have to worry about the money since he wasn't home. Also, after he made chief, during other chief seasons, we'd pay the selects for help around our house. Like washing cars, changing door knobs, that kind of thing. Apparently they have to raise a lot of $$$

[VillainV]

Dec 31, 2020 19:34:52 GMT -5 morecoffeeplease said:

My husband is a chief and thankfully he was away during his chief season. Back then they had to memorize a lot of songs and stuff. It would have stressed me out if he was home. It reminded me of sorority hazing.

Edit: my good friend's husband made it at the same time and she had to do all of this cooking for fundraising for him? Thankfully we didn't have to worry about the money since he wasn't home. Also, after he made chief, during other chief seasons, we'd pay the selects for help around our house. Like washing cars, changing door knobs, that kind of thing. Apparently they have to raise a lot of $$$

What are they raising money for? I’m trying really hard to be respectful of other service’s traditions, but this whole thing sounds a lot like hazing, and seems inappropriate on so many levels. It would be a huge ethical breech for me to have my subordinates come do work around my house for payment (even if it was a “donation”).

[morecoffeeplease]

Jan 1, 2021 8:43:18 GMT -5 VillainV said:

Dec 31, 2020 19:34:52 GMT -5 morecoffeeplease said:

My husband is a chief and thankfully he was away during his chief season. Back then they had to memorize a lot of songs and stuff. It would have stressed me out if he was home. It reminded me of sorority hazing.

Edit: my good friend's husband made it at the same time and she had to do all of this cooking for fundraising for him? Thankfully we didn't have to worry about the money since he wasn't home. Also, after he made chief, during other chief seasons, we'd pay the selects for help around our house. Like washing cars, changing door knobs, that kind of thing. Apparently they have to raise a lot of $$$

What are they raising money for? I’m trying really hard to be respectful of other service’s traditions, but this whole thing sounds a lot like hazing, and seems inappropriate on so many levels. It would be a huge ethical breech for me to have my subordinates come do work around my house for payment (even if it was a “donation”).

I *think* it was for the chief ball or whatever it’s called. I was really removed from the situation since my husband was deployed. And we have been quite removed since then since his job path took him away from the traditional navy job path. The only thing I remember is 5 years ago, the year after he made it, we were moving to another base and had the chief selects come and we paid them to change our door knobs. And that my friend had to make all of these breakfast burritos to sell on base for her husband to raise money. I agree with everything you said.

Edit to add: like I said, our situation is really weird compared to a lot of navy life. We have never been to a chief ball because of my husbands jobs so I don’t know if that’s what ALL of the money they raised went to. But I think it’s bullshit in general that they had to raise the money for everyone’s ball ticket. That’s why it reminded me of sorority hazing.

[al dente]

Dec 31, 2020 19:34:52 GMT -5 morecoffeeplease said:

My husband is a chief and thankfully he was away during his chief season. Back then they had to memorize a lot of songs and stuff. It would have stressed me out if he was home. It reminded me of sorority hazing.

Edit: my good friend's husband made it at the same time and she had to do all of this cooking for fundraising for him? Thankfully we didn't have to worry about the money since he wasn't home. Also, after he made chief, during other chief seasons, we'd pay the selects for help around our house. Like washing cars, changing door knobs, that kind of thing. Apparently they have to raise a lot of $$$

Omg there are so many songs and stupid things you have to say if a chief asks you certain questions. Luckily my husband just listens to it on headphones I was losing my mind at first listening to it constantly haha. He hasn't had to raise money, but that is probably covid related. They don't have them together very much.

In our spouse call they made a point about how there is absolutely no hazing 🙄. I guess compared to back in the day when they had to do legit gross hazing stuff its different.
It's all so dumb though, and I feel bad because when my husband is getting stressed I'm like "but what does it really matter?! It's all made up problems, they're not going to take away your rank because your craft didn't look great." And then I feel like an asshole lol