Where is my ring?

[Alps79]

Disclaimer- I know no one on here knows where my ring is.  I'm basically thinking out loud and maybe someone has an idea of somewhere I haven't looked. 

I have a really nice and fun cocktail ring; it's a big stone surrounded by diamonds.  It's worth a little over $1K and it also has sentimental value to me. I really love this ring; it stays in my second jewelry drawer of my dresser in the velvet bag it came in. I love wearing it but haven't worn it really at all the past 10 months for obvious reasons. 

We rented a VRBO for New Year's; drivable, we took all our own groceries etc. Things were a little hectic as I was packing because I was having to pack everything we would need for 5 days, breakfast-dinner. I was packing my jewelry and I remember picking up the bag with my cocktail ring and I'm pretty sure I decided that would be dumb to bring bc we didn't have plans to go out anywhere. fwiw, the ring is either on my hand or in it's bag. 

We get to the VRBO and I unpack everything and put my jewelry on the dresser. We stayed there for 5 days. On our second to last night we decided to go to a little wine bar that had outdoor seating for a drink. I went to put on my jewelry and looked for my ring. I *guess* I remembered that I decided not to take it bc it wasn't with all my jewelry and we went on our way. 

We drive home and I just had a nagging feeling the entire time. I don't know why. I get home, unpack, check my jewelry drawer and my ring is not there. I immediately contacted the rental agency. Unfortunately someone checked into the house the day we left. They left a message with the renters and housekeeping. I told her the ring could only be in one spot, the master bedroom where we stayed and by the dresser where I unpacked my jewelry.  However I never saw it at the house at all. I am not certain I took it and I'm not positive I left it behind. I'm baffled. I am not one to lose things; the fact that I cannot remember if I took it or not is very out of character for me. No one besides us was in the house while we were there. 

We also have a new cleaning lady after ours of 11 years retired. She cleaned our house the day we left and was there when we left. I hate even bringing that up, I have no reason at all to think she took my ring. She's been coming to our house since September and has cleaned for a very good friend of mine for 1.5 years. I only mention it bc she was the only person in our house while we were gone. 

The rental agency keeps telling me they have not heard back from housekeeping and they assured me if anything personal was found it would be turned in. I emailed them this morning stating I would be glad to pay a reward to anyone that found my ring. I have not heard back. I am really okay offering a reward bc I will have to replace this ring if it doesn't turn up. 

I feel really dumb and irresponsible; anyone have any idea of where else I could look? I went through every bag and every pocket with no luck. I wish I could remember if I actually took the ring or not but I'm not certain either way. I'd love your best ideas! Tell me the random places your items have turned up. Or what would you do if you were dumb and irresponsible like me? I really need to find this ring. :/ 

[Deleted]

What were you doing at the time you decided against bringing it? Could it have gotten stuck under or behind a dresser in that area?

[yourmother]

Do you have small children? Any chance they took it to their rooms to play with?

How about your luggage? Any chance (if you packed it) it fell out into the luggage bag?

[Susie]

Jan 11, 2021 12:31:14 GMT -5 Alps79 said:

We also have a new cleaning lady after ours of 11 years retired. She cleaned our house the day we left and was there when we left. I hate even bringing that up, I have no reason at all to think she took my ring. She's been coming to our house since September and has cleaned for a very good friend of mine for 1.5 years. I only mention it bc she was the only person in our house while we were gone. 

I would ask her if she saw it and put it away somewhere that you might not think to look.  Even just in the kitchen our old housekeeper used to put things in strange (to me) places and I'd need to text sometimes when I really couldn't find something to ask where she put it.  I know it feels different with jewelry, but I think it's possible to ask the question in a way that is not accusatory or suggesting you think she removed it from the house.

[jinkies]

Other drawers in your dresser? Can you take the drawers out completely and see if something could fall in the space behind them? If your luggage is black and so is the bag, maybe it's hiding in plain sight in your luggage? In a compartment your forgot about?

I've told this story before, but my H, who only wears his suit at weddings and funerals, was convinced for years that someone stole his wedding ring and watch out of his truck during my SIL's funeral. They were lost for 3 years, until my grandfather died. He went to put on his dress shoes for my grandfather's funeral, and found the ring and watch in the toe of his shoe.

I hope for your sake your ring turns up faster than his did!

[circa1978]

Were you packing your suitcase on a surface, like a bed it could have slipped behind, or near a piece of furniture it might have slipped under. To me the way you described it, it seems most likely to still be at your house. I would not jump to thinking someone took it at this point.

[Alps79]

It stays in my second drawer. I got on the floor and looked all around and didn't see it. We have wood floors and it would be in a grayish velvet bag.
My kids are older so they wouldn't have taken it. I asked my older daughter, 12YO with eagle eyes to look in both my drawers in case my eyes were deceiving me and she didn't see it either.

I will see if I can actually remove the drawer. I also looked in both drawers below my jewelry drawer in case it fell there. No luck but I think I need to pull everything out and really check. I keep sweaters in those drawers so it's certainly a possibility it fell between sweaters.

[InBetweenDays]

I was thinking the same thing as @psugrad When you decided not to bring it, where were you? I'd search all around there first.

I also think it's fine to ask the woman who cleans your house. Just let her know you aren't sure if you left the ring home or brought it with you NYE so you're just checking any possible avenues. Hopefully she won't feel that you're accusing her.

FWIW this happened to me once with a necklace. I don't think it's expensive, but it was my great grandmothers so it holds enormous sentimental value. I always put it away in the same spot and it wasn't there. Couldn't find it anywhere. One day I walked by my dresser and this random ceramic bowl that a friend made me in college fell over. The bowl had a lid and the lid fell off - and there was my necklace. For the life of me I don't remember putting it there but there it was.

[Alps79]

Jan 11, 2021 12:45:03 GMT -5 circa1978 said:

 I would not jump to thinking someone took it at this point.

I really don't think someone took it. I think I..... don't know.... but I don't think someone took it. I just cannot for the life of me figure out where *I* put it! It would have gone from the drawer to the bag I packed my jewelry in, which I then zipped up and put in another bag. I've shaken them both upside down. nada. 

[mrsd2006]

I do stuff like this all the time. I can't remember if I actually did something, or just thought about doing it LOL. I've stopped hiding stuff.

The last time DH lost his wedding band, I found it in the couch cushions. He had put it in his pocket, then laid on the couch for a nap. I hope yours turns up.

[circa1978]

I'm just thinking that if you picked up the little bag from your dresser and were holding it as you moved to pack it, then thought again, and didn't put it back where it belongs, it might have been in your hand as you went to grab something else to pack. I know a lot of times that happens with my phone. I've got it as I put clothes or toys away in my son's room and then lose it and find it in a drawer of his or something.

[VillainV]

Did you get distracted right around the moment you were deciding whether or not to take it? Like, could you have had it in your hand when you opened the sock drawer to get socks, or went into the bathroom to grab your toothbrush, and maybe set it down somewhere?

Anecdote: I have a pair of Kate Spade earrings that I remember wearing once, then could never find again. After months, and nearly buying myself another pair, I found them in another drawer of my ugh to stand. Best I can figure I put them in the top drawer, but somehow they got pushed all the way to the back of the drawer over time, fell out the back of the drawer, landed on something stick out of the back of another drawer, and slid into that drawer. This is like a $30 pair of earrings, but I couldn’t find them for like 10 months.

[InBetweenDays]

Jan 11, 2021 12:51:54 GMT -5 circa1978 said:

I'm just thinking that if you picked up the little bag from your dresser and were holding it as you moved to pack it, then thought again, and didn't put it back where it belongs, it might have been in your hand as you went to grab something else to pack. I know a lot of times that happens with my phone. I've got it as I put clothes or toys away in my son's room and then lose it and find it in a drawer of his or something.

I do this *all* the time. And then make H or the kids call my phone so I can find it. H tells me if I didn't carry my phone with me at all times then this wouldn't happen - which is true but is a hard habit to break!

[arielroux]

Is it in your purse, or one of the purses you took with you on the trip? I am ALWAYS dropping a ring, bracelet or earrings in a bag because it's a "safe space" and then I forget about them and find them months later when cleaning out the pockets in the bag.

[liveintheville]

I recently lost a ring. I looked everywhere I could think I’d put it. Eventually found it with my makeup. I must have taken it off to put on moisturizer or something and forgotten to put it back on.

[arielroux]

How about the pockets of whatever you were wearing that day?

I remember one time I had my phone in my hand and then decided I didn't actually need it on my short 10 min trip to the post office. I put it down, OR SO I THOUGHT.

When I got home I could not find my phone anywhere. I was legitimately scouring the place for it. Um yeah, it was in the pocket of the sweatshirt I had on the entire time. Which means I did actually bring it with me to the post office when I intended to leave it home. I didn't even notice the weight from it being in my pocket. I've also done this with my glasses. 

Could be worth a shot to check your pockets or your hamper?

[mbcdefg]

Do you have pets? Could a cat have batted it around and dropped it somewhere?

[sandandsea]

Did it get mixed in with clothes in your suitcase. Maybe in a sock or shoe or pocket? Have you already done all the laundry? Maybe it’s on the floor under something and got jostled while packing? Maybe the housekeeper found it on the floor and put it in a drawer or on a dresser in your house?

[yellow23]

Is it obviously a jewelry bag? Is there any chance your cleaner would have thrown it out thinking it was an empty little bag?

Do you have any pets? My mom lost a ring once and we couldn’t find it anywhere. Over a year later our cat was sitting in the middle of the floor playing with it. We have no idea where it was for that year it was missing.

[nicolewi]

I am constantly putting things down without thinking about it and this would 100% happen to me. I have to call my cell phone all the time b/c i leave it all over in random places. I second people saying to check everywhere you were at the time. Look in all drawers that you were opening for packing. Look with cosmetics, if you were packing those, etc. Look all over your jewelry box, not just in the drawer it should be in. Were you packing a carry-on? Check the carry-on, check your purse, check anywhere you were going to pack things.

Bathroom counters & drawers.

Anywhere it could have fallen or slipped if you set it down in a random place while packing, like between bed and footboard, under bed, behind dresser, under dresser, behind jewelry box, etc etc.

Good luck. I hope you find it!!

[deadwing]

I don't see you mentioning checking the car you took on vacation. A little grey bag could easily blend in with the upholstery of many cars.

I also feel like the harder you search for something, the less likely you are to actually find it. Your ring will turn up completely unexpectedly one day.

[Alps79]

No pets and I've done laundry. Cleaning lady has also come since then; I was hoping it might appear when she cleaned.

I'm going to keep looking.

I also found it on ebay for half the price if it comes to that, which I really hope it doesn't :/ I don't even know what size it is so I would need to get sized before I could replace it.

Thank you for your ideas thus far!

[imojoebunny]

My engagement ring and wedding band were stolen by housekeepers. There were two workers, and one admitted that she saw the other person with it, so I know for sure she stole it. It wasn't sitting out, or anywhere the housekeeper should have been. Even with the other cleaner saying that she saw the person with it, the police could do nothing. I tore my house apart looking for it because I was in denial that the housekeeper would take it, especially, given where it was.

I hope you find it somewhere.

[livinitup]

I recommend checking your make-up bag. I did this once.

[definitelyO]

I once found missing earrings in a jewelry bag in the toe of a pair of boots I had packed. I've also lost stuff in the liner of my suitcase... I'm sorry

[Alps79]

Jan 11, 2021 14:07:19 GMT -5 livinitup said:

I recommend checking your make-up bag. I did this once.

Oooo good call. I keep it basically packed and don't unpack, I just put it back on it's shelf. It's probably the only thing I haven't unpacked. Now I can't wait to get home!!!! FX

[erbear]

I had the same thing happen with a sentimental (and expensive) necklace that my mom gave me. I’ve torn my house apart trying to find it and it’s gone. My kids haven’t seen it.

[Pilsy]

We're definitely going to need an update on this one.

OP, I'm sorry I don't have any good ideas not already suggested!

[tiki]

I also discovered I was missing a piece of jewelry that's important to me while at an airbnb. It took a couple of months to turn up but it did - in the craziness of packing to leave, I'd put it in a slightly odd place in our bathroom, a small cup on a shelf above my eye level (i.e. not one of the very few places I am allowed to set it down).

As I was typing this, I put my hand to my neck to verify it was there and it was not, so I am off to search now, too.

[CloudBee]

What about checking your daughter's room and all of the bathrooms? Windowsill in the kitchen? If you left it in a random spot while rushing out the door, your housekeeper could very well have moved it from the counter to a higher spot like a windowsill over the kitchen sink. Or maybe she found it in a bathroom and thought it was costume jewelry, so she tossed it into your daughter's room. I agree that it might have been set down if you were chatting, walking through the house, had it in your hands while deciding if you wanted to take it, etc.

I would look around again in places where someone else might place a ring if they found it on your floor, counter, etc. Then I would consider asking the housekeeper. I feel a bit torn thinking about asking, but she might very well have seen it and moved it to a safer place while vacuuming, wiping counters, etc.