WWYD? Selling gown and engagement ring

[arborgold]

So (knock on wood like a billion times), I think I may have just sold my wedding gown, and it looks like I might be about to sell my engagement ring, as well.

The money from these two items was supposed to help me pay my rent and bills through the end of this lease if I don't find a job sometime soon.

And the responsible part of me is saying that, yes, that's EXACTLY what I should do with the money. Put it in savings, and set it aside in case none of these job opportunities comes through.

That being said, i've heard a lot of people say that you should do something for yourself when you sell items like this, and I'd kind of like to.

I've gone through a REALLY rough patch over the last few months in terms of my mental health issues, and I've been thinking (for a long time, actually) that I'd like to get a small tattoo on my inner left wrist.

The tattoo would read:

Cela passera aussi

Translation: This, too, shall pass

If it helps, I'm placing it there because sometimes I feel like I need the daily reminder, and because it would be easy to cover with a sleeve, or with a heavier watch, if I needed to for professional purposes.

So, what would you do? Put all the money in savings? Put most of the money in savings and get the tattoo? Put most of the money in savings and get something else for yourself?

[starryfish]

pay bills

no tattoo

Just go out with friends and get drunk instead (but dont get a drunk tattoo)

[theycallmeliz]

May 18, 2012 14:28:58 GMT -5 starryfish said:

pay bills

no tattoo

Just go out with friends and get drunk instead (but dont get a drunk tattoo)

This. you may change your mind later. And see? You're already looking for ways to cover the tat.

[hainesherway]

Are you a tattoo person? I almost got a tattoo shortly after my divorce, and now I'm glad I didn't. I vote to put most of it in savings and treat yourself to some pampering (massage/mani/pedi).

[arborgold]

May 18, 2012 15:10:49 GMT -5 hainesherway said:

Are you a tattoo person? I almost got a tattoo shortly after my divorce, and now I'm glad I didn't. I vote to put most of it in savings and treat yourself to some pampering (massage/mani/pedi).

I actually DO like ink, but I've never found something meaningful enough to want to have permanently engraved on me. Most of the men I've dated (the exH was the exception) have had had tattoos, and I've loved them. I'm a face and body artist myself, and I'm a fan of body art as long as it's well done.

The tattoo isn't necessarily related to the divorce so much as it's related to my ongoing struggles with depression and anxiety that have been amped up by the divorce/job hunting / other stupid life stressors. It wasn't until now that I discovered a phrase that I felt had some meaning for me, and would be something I could see always and forever liking to have attached to me.

And in re: the pampering, i haven't really given much of that of, so it would kind of feel like just another every day thing. I'd buy a pair of pretty pretty CL or JC's, but the amt I would spend on those would be a bit more than I'd be willing to take out of the savings. And I HAVE been wanting the tattoo, so I thought it'd be a good way to find something positive for myself in all this mess.

Oh, and in re: the PP's "you're already looking to cover it". Frankly, if you're not in a profession where tattoos are generally acceptable, you're an idiot if you consider getting a tattoo WITHOUT thinking of how you might cover it up IF YOU HAVE TO. I'd be very happy to have it out there every day (again, I want it in that location to serve as a reminder to me that I can see) and, most of the time, in my field, it would be very much acceptable. But I can imagine going into interviews, or (heaven forbid I ever have to practice again) going into court, it might be good to cover it up.

[redredwine]

May 18, 2012 15:20:19 GMT -5 arborgold said:

May 18, 2012 15:10:49 GMT -5 hainesherway said:

Are you a tattoo person? I almost got a tattoo shortly after my divorce, and now I'm glad I didn't. I vote to put most of it in savings and treat yourself to some pampering (massage/mani/pedi).

I actually DO like ink, but I've never found something meaningful enough to want to have permanently engraved on me. Most of the men I've dated (the exH was the exception) have had had tattoos, and I've loved them. I'm a face and body artist myself, and I'm a fan of body art as long as it's well done.

The tattoo isn't necessarily related to the divorce so much as it's related to my ongoing struggles with depression and anxiety that have been amped up by the divorce/job hunting / other stupid life stressors. It wasn't until now that I discovered a phrase that I felt had some meaning for me, and would be something I could see always and forever liking to have attached to me.

And in re: the pampering, i haven't really given much of that of, so it would kind of feel like just another every day thing. I'd buy a pair of pretty pretty CL or JC's, but the amt I would spend on those would be a bit more than I'd be willing to take out of the savings. And I HAVE been wanting the tattoo, so I thought it'd be a good way to find something positive for myself in all this mess.

Oh, and in re: the PP's "you're already looking to cover it". Frankly, if you're not in a profession where tattoos are generally acceptable, you're an idiot if you consider getting a tattoo WITHOUT thinking of how you might cover it up IF YOU HAVE TO. I'd be very happy to have it out there every day (again, I want it in that location to serve as a reminder to me that I can see) and, most of the time, in my field, it would be very much acceptable. But I can imagine going into interviews, or (heaven forbid I ever have to practice again) going into court, it might be good to cover it up.

I am in the party that says...do something WORTH it, like a tattoo and then put the rest in savings.
I'm at the point where you are. I sold my engagement ring and ended up paying down debt (that has risen since I've been divorced) and I felt lame doing that. I sold my wedding dress recently and I still have to pay down debt...but I'm going to take $100 and put it towards upgrading my camera (I'm really into photography as a hobby and would like to take it on more professioanlly). I thought about getting a tattoo, a phrase somewhat simliar to yours that I LOVe and could have on me forever. I'm just not ready to bite the bullet.
To me, pampering, etc. isn't something that lasts...and I'd want to say "Hey, at least my wedding dress got me XXX".

[heavenly]

Since you are still looking for a job, I suggest not getting a tattoo until you are financially comfortable. By putting the money in savings, it means you are moving forward by taking care of yourself.

Maybe instead of a tattoo, treat yourself to a small jewelry such as a bracelet with that quote engraved, or a nice card to put in your wallet?

I totally understand your desire to have that quote on your wrist. I have a bracelet that helped me through my hardest times and it says "Love Fully, Celebrate Life, Dream Big, Smile Often and Share Joy". It pulled me through because that is the life I aim to having.

[stephbfan]

Save it because you might need it. You can get your tattoo later.

Also if I were going to give my self ink as a gift, I would do something upbeat or something I really like. I just feel that this saying you want to do, fits the moment but I would want it changed later on. What if you re in a very good place in your life? reading This, too, shall pass not be as good.

[GilliC]

Like you, I like ink in general, but I've never come up with anything I'd want. I really like your idea, because I used to struggle with depression and suicidal tendencies, and maybe having a genle reminder on my wrist would have been good when I was thinking of cutting it. (In the end, finding the strength to end my marriage proved to me that I can gt through anything on my own and I've been happy & healthy since.)

However, if the finances were an issue, I would probably wait on the tattoo. I might put a little of the money into earmarked savings and gradually add to it until I had enough for a really great piece from one of the top international artists. Some of my friends have amazing sleeves and back pieces, and having been with them to conventions, I think I would want o save for something small but incredible. Maybe still the words, but in a gorgeous font with a few stylistic embellishments and color (I like color work).

[arborgold]

May 19, 2012 3:35:14 GMT -5 GilliC said:

Like you, I like ink in general, but I've never come up with anything I'd want. I really like your idea, because I used to struggle with depression and suicidal tendencies, and maybe having a genle reminder on my wrist would have been good when I was thinking of cutting it. (In the end, finding the strength to end my marriage proved to me that I can gt through anything on my own and I've been happy & healthy since.)

However, if the finances were an issue, I would probably wait on the tattoo. I might put a little of the money into earmarked savings and gradually add to it until I had enough for a really great piece from one of the top international artists. Some of my friends have amazing sleeves and back pieces, and having been with them to conventions, I think I would want o save for something small but incredible. Maybe still the words, but in a gorgeous font with a few stylistic embellishments and color (I like color work).

This times a billion. I've actually got a really close friend who struggles with the same issues, including with ideation and with non-ideation-induced cutting, and we both want small tattoos in the wrist area, because we think it would help discourage us from cutting again if we ever felt those urges.

I definitely get the point about waiting (and I MIGHT wait until after a job finalizes), but I do think that I'll be putting some of this money aside into the tattoo fund to get as soon as is possible. And, most definitely it would be from a great artist, in a gorgeous font. This thing is going to be there forever - I want it to look fantastic!

Thanks for the kind words, though - they mean a lot.

[explorer2001]

Team pay your bills first. Sorry but you can get the tatoo later after you have a job. Paying you rent and being able to eat are more important.

I donated my dress to goodwill just to get it the heck out of my house. I eventually sold the e ring and wedding ring and donated the proceeds to a domestic violence shelter which was extremely meaningful to me given my history.