Do you have an age limit? (2nd infertility)

[georgeharrison]

I don't want to be insensitive, so please know that my heart is in the right place and correct me if I am being insensitive.  

I am 43.  Besides secondary (unexplained) infertility and a recently broken ankle, I've always been super healthy.

I just started a new job with insurance that provides IF coverage.  We have never had this (well, we have had coverage for diagnosis, but not for treatment).

I know there are women having children later in life, medical advances are allowing for healthy pregnancies later, etc.  But, am I too old?  

Also, this is kind of a weird thing to have to consider, but my husband is 2 years in remission from a cancer that may likely reoccur and may be terminal if it does.  Ugh.  That's depressing to type out.  

I would appreciate any thoughts.  10 years ago?  Yep, we are totally going for it.  Now?  I am not as sure.

[pinkpeony08]

I don’t think you’re too old, though statistics say your odds of success are lower. Certainly you could do more exploring and see if there is something that could improve your chances even if you were to decide not to pursue something like ivf.

My aunt got married in her late 30s and had her kids at 40 and 44... and they are now in their mid to late twenties!

[doggielover]

I don't think you're to old. I'm 40 and have been doing IVF for 2 years already with no success. A lot of people now are getting married and having kids later in life. Statistically over age 35 is considered geriatric and success rates go down greatly but I wouldn't give up or let that stop you from trying.

[thedutchgirl]

I just turned 43 this past week, and we're trying now, or we will be shortly. I have new IF coverage through insurance starting Jan. 1 as well. I had never tried before until almost a year ago, with my current partner. He's 7 years younger than I am.

My tubes are blocked--unknown why--and my ovarian reserve is normal for my age, but that means it is diminished. I fall below the AMH cutoff for some practices, and realistically speaking, our chances of success with my eggs aren't great. Likely not many to get, and not many healthy. (Like the stats were less than 10%, and sometimes less than 5%, depending on stage of the process.) But with a healthy embryo, the chance of pregnancy any particular month is still 60%. (I too am very healthy, so the blocked tubes alone were a big surprise.)

I'll mention my AMH cut in half over just a year. The RE said that after 40, the numbers do get worse a lot faster than when you are younger. I'm not trying to scare you--just letting you know what we've learned. So, now that we have IF coverage for treatment, we're moving forward with donor eggs. My RE would try with my eggs, but we have a hard time justifying the cost compared to the likelihood of success with my eggs, even with insurance helping.

[Jalapeñomel]

I’m 42, and I’m transferring a donor embryo on Thursday. Only you can decide if you are too old!

I will say that many clinics do have an age limit so that is something to consider. But as for actual age (not reproductive age), I think that’s totally personal.

[msmerymac]

My clinic does treatments until 52... but at that point, you'd need to use embryos you'd banked or donor eggs. If you want to move forward with IVF and need embryos, you'll want to do that ASAP. But yeah, you can keep transferring them for a while once you have them.

Personally, I did my last egg retrieval in February of 2019, a few months before I turned 37. I don't want to do more, so that is what it is. My husband is 46, and with moving to surrogacy now, it might be 2+ years before we're successful.

[seeyalater52]

Do you know if your insurance has age-related IF treatment restrictions? That would be good to find out, as it may make the coverage piece moot if you don’t meet the criteria (usually it’s a combo of age/related and bloodwork numbers; many require a clomid challenge or similar for over 40.) But in terms of actual age I dont think you’re too old!

[pickel]

I don’t think you are too old. I think the only limiting factor is how much energy you have. LOL I was 37 and my husband was 53 when our twins were born. We dealt with secondary infertility as well (I was the problem). Some of his friends have kids graduating college and he’s changing diapers. Interestingly two of his friends, same age as him, had kids around the same time. Everyone’s timeline is different. We get more comments of “I would kill to go back to those days” and not much negativity.

[seeyalater52]

I’ve also been thinking about this a lot because ages of parents vary so much by area! #regional

Where I live right now in the suburbs of a small state, at 33 I’m solidly on the older side to be a first time parent. Many of my age-peers have kids in middle school. They also don’t have careers and didn’t go to college, so arguably they’re not true “peers.” I work in a large east coast city and lived there for a long time, and among that crowd of people with similar jobs and educational attainment we are on the younger side of “average” to be first time parents. Colleagues are still having kids well into their mid-40s (this is me, jealous of what seems like never ending fertility!?) Kids are freaking expensive, so that delays it for a lot of people given the price of daycare and the fact that even professional people in their 30s often life with roommates due to HCoL. So my take on it is that there isn’t really a right answer, just what works for your life. ❤️

[achi]

I hope it's ok to jump in here for a quick moment as someone who dealt with (mostly) unexplained secondary infertility.

@@@ - current pregnancy mentioned.

We struggled with secondary infertility and had 3 repeat losses before finally having this current pregnancy stick. Every single test we had came back normal, and the only diagnosis was minor hormonal PCOS (ovaries were fine and I was able to confirm ovulation every cycle except maybe 1 in a year). I don't think there's such a thing as too old to TTC - it's really such a personal thing. For me personally, had this current pregnancy not stuck I would have been finished. I'll be 37 this year, so still on the younger side, but there was so much emotional baggage in the whole situation that continuing to live in that place wouldn't have been healthy for me for much longer. FWIW, my father was 42 when I was born and 44 when my brother was born. My childhood wasn't any different than my friends.

[ilovecandy]

I think only you know if it is right for you. My husband has an age limit for himself. For me we are done after these embryos but that isn't because of age that is just because I am ready to be done one way or the other.

[awkwardpenguin]

I didn’t (and wouldn’t) have an age limit for medicated cycles or IUI, but I think I’d have a limit for trying IVF with my own eggs. I’d personally probably cut off around a 10% per cycle chance from the CDC success calculator. And if I decided to do IVF, I’d do one cycle to see how I responded before making decisions about moving forward with any more cycles. IVF success is unfortunately correlated with age, although less so in women with a previous live birth.

Good luck to you, it’s a very personal decision.