I guess I am triggered because I am not like that. At All. In fact I probably should not have gotten married. 🤷‍♀️
I feel the same way. At this point, it’s hard to walk away from the sunk costs, but should it end, that was a grand experiment and now I’ll live happily alone.
Me too!
Like, marriage is exhausting and training DH was not fun, but I did get a cute kid out of it!
I have repeatedly said, if DH dies, it’s me and battery powered toys from here on out.
I feel the same way. At this point, it’s hard to walk away from the sunk costs, but should it end, that was a grand experiment and now I’ll live happily alone.
Me too!
Like, marriage is exhausting and training DH was not fun, but I did get a cute kid out of it!
I have repeatedly said, if DH dies, it’s me and battery powered toys from here on out.
I can see this, but with my mom, she did miss it more when my sister and I were out of the house. More about companionship and I think not having to carry everything all the time (metaphorically speaking).
I guess I am triggered because I am not like that. At All. In fact I probably should not have gotten married. 🤷‍♀️
I feel the same way. At this point, it’s hard to walk away from the sunk costs, but should it end, that was a grand experiment and now I’ll live happily alone.
This is where I’m at too. I have to plans to divorce H but should something happen I’m never doing this shit again. It’s exhausting. Is there a Tinder for oldish people? I might be on board with that but nothing live in.
I have watched how needy my dad is post my mom dying. He was needy with my mom, but it was very obvious when she wasn’t around to take care of him And now with his girlfriend who is also a widow.
My sister and I joke we are going to do a golden girls thing if our husbands die before us.
Post by wanderingback on Mar 14, 2021 10:00:59 GMT -5
My first marriage was a little exhausting at the end because he turned out to be an asshole.
7 years into my current relationship I don’t find it exhausting. We both don’t find marriage important so we just keep on not being legally married. I’m pretty independent so I think I can be happy both in and out of a relationship. The key for us is understanding each other as independent individuals and mixing our lives that way instead of trying to change or feel like we have to compromise too much.
My parents divorced after 30 years. I think my mom was happy for most of the marriage but now she’s living her best single life. Her local BFF is also single so they pretty much live that golden girls life. To be honest, her social life (pre-covid) sounded exhausting to me! Different strokes for different folks
I guess I am triggered because I am not like that. At All. In fact I probably should not have gotten married. 🤷‍♀️
I feel the same way. At this point, it’s hard to walk away from the sunk costs, but should it end, that was a grand experiment and now I’ll live happily alone.
Yup. I have the other issue, not being able to walk away from my comfort zone :/.
Post by W.T.Faulkner on Mar 14, 2021 11:34:49 GMT -5
I wouldn’t consider one divorce a dealbreaker if I were to date again. Two divorces would cause me some hesitation. Three or more? How are you not running in the other direction upon hearing this?
Post by starburst604 on Mar 14, 2021 12:57:10 GMT -5
My MIL is one of those people who cannot seem to live without a relationship. She was married to FIL for over 20 years and when they split moved right on and remarried. He died a few years ago and she got together with their next door neighbor. My SIL was looking for towels one day and noticed his boxers in MILs hamper and we were both saying that in after 50 years 2 husbands and 4 kids, we would be DONE with washing anyone’s underwear but our own. But, she just seems to be happiest when she has someone to take care of.
I am perfectly single and doubt I will ever remarry--it's not a priority. Now I don't have to fret about a spouse's poor financial decisions or icky fashion sense. Not even seeing anyone which is kind of cool in itself. I don't have to worry about "is he really that in to me?" and all that BS. It would be nice to have someone to hang out with: traveling here and there, BBQs, outdoor events, theatre, etc., but it that doesn't happen, I still have plenty of family and friends to do things with.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
I have watched how needy my dad is post my mom dying. He was needy with my mom, but it was very obvious when she wasn’t around to take care of him And now with his girlfriend who is also a widow.
My sister and I joke we are going to do a golden girls thing if our husbands die before us.
I'm on my 2nd marriage. I don't expect this one to end, but you can't predict the future so who knows. If it did, it's likely I'd marry again. My first marriage was a disaster and my XH was a terrible person. But I like being married to my current H very much and would want to find a similar lifestyle again if that somehow became impossible. Some of it might be laziness, lol, but I like having a built in companion for things and someone to hang out and do nothing with. I guess you don't have to be MARRIED for that but I'd definitely want a live-in significant other if nothing else.
Being engaged and/or married 5 times is a bit optimistic though. I do think at some point you need to examine whether marriage is a good fit for you, and if so, if you need to figure out a better method for choosing partners.
When I wasn't sure what I was going to do after I found out about h's cheating, it did cross my mind that I really didn't want to be divorced twice. That's not why I stayed, at all, but yeah. I thought about it.