Renovating a house you don’t love

[goldengirlz]

This is a bit of a s/o to the post I wrote below but not specific to a particular improvement.

Our background: H and I bought a house in a VVHCOL metro area about five years ago. It was what we could afford at the time, and the house is ... just okay. I don’t regret buying it, because it’s been a wonderful investment, and financially it was the right thing to do. There are definitely things I DO like about it, like our commutes, the layout and the square footage.

But I’ve always kind of felt that we have one foot out the door. Like IF we could afford to move, we would, in a heartbeat, but even if we increased our budget by a whopping $1 million (just for argument’s sake), I still couldn’t find anything that truly feels like it’s worth the money. Mostly because I want the most expensive thing you could want here — more land.

Anyway, H and I are talking about making some renovations. One is air conditioning, like I mentioned below. Another is solar. Our kitchen is ugly and outdated. Our fireplace is ugly. Our front door needs to be replaced. Etc. etc. etc.

We should just ... do these things, right? Like the improvements we HAVE done make me love the house a little bit more because they’ve made the house more “ours” and sometimes more functional. Tell me how you think about these things!

[winecat]

I bought my house 21 years ago!! I’ve hated it for a long time. I didn’t realize how awkward the layout is but I was a dumb 20-something in a hot housing market. Now that our market is bananas, I can’t move. So I’m in your same situation. And everything I’d want is waaaay out of any budget I’ll probably ever have. /cries

The best thing about my house is the location and you can’t change that so that’s how I’ve talked myself into being okay with staying. I also have really nice neighbors. They’re all doing home improvements so I think that they’re staying. That helps too.

I’m just starting doing some repairs so that I can tweak the layout and hopefully reduce the awkwardness of the layout.

I’d start making the changes that you’re talking about. Here they’d be helpful when selling so they might help in the long run?

[awkwardpenguin]

I think you kind of need to make a decision on what your time horizon is in the home. If you love the location and the layout and the square footage (things that are hard to change) it would definitely be worth making cosmetic improvements if you plan to stay for another 5 years or so.

One thing that really helped us to just get some stuff done was to make a list and prioritize. So when I feel overwhelmed by having 10 different projects that need doing, I go to my list and we chose to get the downstairs bathroom finished so I can focus on that. Our prioritization is based on some combination of urgency, how easy the project is to complete, and how much money it will cost. Like we need a new stove, but our current stove can limp along and it's $$$ (stupid pro-style range) so it's lower on the priority list than something that's a quick cheap win.

[steamboat185]

We’ve done a lot of work to our house in the last 9 years because we love the location, neighborhood, and yard. It has helped a the house feel a lot more comfortable and overall we are really happy with the changes. Does it have everything I want? No, but it had enough of what we want that we are comfortable and the house is functional. Updating the kitchen, while a pain has been great and really made everything more functional.

[lovetx]

I would do it now. You’ll enjoy the house more, you really don’t seem to have a plan to move so you might as well make the best of what you have.

[fryjack2]

I could have written your post.

H and I have this very same discussion about every two weeks. I go to open houses still all the time and we bought this home 3 years ago. We are in VHCOL with slim inventory for SFHs.

Our home is large with a very large yard for our area. While our home was updated by the previous owners, its an old house and could use more updates. Like the kitchen, the basement, the fireplace, etc. could use a facelift.

We put a lot into it already ( new flooring everywhere, paint, built a deck, some landscaping, new AC, furnace, and water heaters, new sunroom doors, new garage walls, etc.) and decide we aren't going to do anything that is a want and not a need anymore.

Its not our forever house and the value won't dramatically skyrocket unless we did a major overhaul and even then probably won't be worth it.

Instead, projects will be part of the plan for whatever vacation home we purchase. That home we will keep forever, while this house will be sold when our kids are out of school or we find another one we like enough to move into.

[hbomdiggity]

That’s tough. I can see doing things that will make you like it more (for me that is kitchen and fireplace). But in your market, those things likely have little to do with overall value and that you really are just doing it for you vs roi.

I would hesitate on the bigger items like solar because you are not committed to staying for the payoff.

[ssmjlm]

I would go ahead and start planning for what you want to do that will make you like your house more. A lot of contractors are backed up anyway, so you wouldn't necessarily need to make decisions right away.

[goldengirlz]

May 6, 2021 10:16:19 GMT -5 awkwardpenguin said:

I think you kind of need to make a decision on what your time horizon is in the home. If you love the location and the layout and the square footage (things that are hard to change) it would definitely be worth making cosmetic improvements if you plan to stay for another 5 years or so.

One thing that really helped us to just get some stuff done was to make a list and prioritize. So when I feel overwhelmed by having 10 different projects that need doing, I go to my list and we chose to get the downstairs bathroom finished so I can focus on that. Our prioritization is based on some combination of urgency, how easy the project is to complete, and how much money it will cost. Like we need a new stove, but our current stove can limp along and it's $$$ (stupid pro-style range) so it's lower on the priority list than something that's a quick cheap win.

Yeah, this is the rub, ha. We’d probably stay at least till the end of middle school so it’s not disruptive ... so maybe four more years, at minimum? But then part of me, selfishly, thinks that if the right opportunity came up, we’d be willing to consider it as soon as, well, now.

Part of the reason this is even on my mind is because I saw a property I absolutely fell in love with — we even met with a Realtor, but it turned out to be too good to be true (the house had major, major problems — more than we could reasonably take on.) So part of me is like, well, maybe we should keep our assets liquid, just in case ... (But the rational part knows that it’s probably a sign that we actually WON’T be able to move)

[simpsongal]

I don't want to stray into unrelated territory - but I know you're in a similar boat. We did an addition last year that we started planning right before my dad passed away. We worked on the project in the months after his death. It was actually a great distraction, and I enjoyed embracing 'the here and now' and creating something and making my home better now for my family. It also reminded me of him in sweet ways b/c my folks tore down their home and built a new one (doing a lot of work themselves) when I was 5.

I get sick of constantly saying 'one day we'll do this' and losing my dad early just highlighted how important it is to be happy now and live in the moment (while still being responsible....). I still have plenty I want to do to my house, but that project has made it better and I smile every time I'm in the new space, and feel thankful we have it (much more functional now). I wish my dad could have seen it - he was excited for us though when I mentioned the project to him.

It doesn't sound like you're likely moving in the next few years, so i'd go ahead and start planning some projects that will make your house more functional, or something you like better. If you end up moving, just consider those improvements something that will make your house seller fast (we're likely to swing back to a buyers market in a few years).

[iheartthe90s]

What do you dislike about the house? It sounds like maybe aesthetics, considering you like the location? If it were me, I’d focus on making whatever changes you need to make to turn it into a house you would really like, including adding on if you can or hiring an architect to change the exterior if that bothers you. however much that ends up costing, it’ll be less than doubling your mortgage to get into a bigger house that you say you still wouldn’t like that much.

[goldengirlz]

May 6, 2021 16:52:07 GMT -5 iheartthe90s said:

What do you dislike about the house? It sounds like maybe aesthetics, considering you like the location? If it were me, I’d focus on making whatever changes you need to make to turn it into a house you would really like, including adding on if you can or hiring an architect to change the exterior if that bothers you. however much that ends up costing, it’ll be less than doubling your mortgage to get into a bigger house that you say you still wouldn’t like that much.

The house itself is great; I definitely don’t need a bigger one. It’s the lot I dislike. We barely have much of a yard, and we have basically no separation from the neighbors — and we have a lot of them. Also, air conditioning is uncommon here but it’s been hot AF in recent years because of climate change. Everyone’s windows are open; everyone’s home is now an office, a school and a playground (and sometimes a frat house, grr.)

I want space (land) and serenity. I’m dreaming of a large wooded lot with privacy.

[dexteroni]

I would renovate, within reason. It will help you enjoy your house while you're there. We put off renovating our crappy old kitchen for ages, and we finally did it last year, and omg it's life changing. We also did the reno knowing we'd be selling soonish, and in a way it made it easier. It helped me stay within budget, plus if one aspect ended up not being my most favorite thing ever, nbd, we aren't staying here forever. It was very freeing, and I still love the result. And now that I've done it, I know more about what I'll choose and not choose in our next house. (Pull down faucet sprayer yet, wood-look laminate floor no.)

[sadlebred]

If you hate your house that much, would you consider a smaller or newer condo or townhouse? Or maybe moving further out IF you could get more for your money? (I realize it might not be possible in your area.)

I don't love my house, but I am in an amazing location. Generally good suburb with a decent city government, good schools, diverse, close to shopping and entertainment, good restaurants, nice parks, etc. I'm also priced out of most areas within 45 miles of the MCOL major city. Real estate prices here have gone crazy in the last 3 years between the pandemic, low inventory, and low mortgage rates. I wouldn't move for at least 5-7+ years anyway. My house has everything I need, but it does need updating. I finally got the exterior maintenance finished (at least for a few years til it will need painting again) and would like to be able to save up for a few small interior updates. Anything major like a bathroom overhaul, kitchen remodel, or finally enlarging the primary bedroom suite are beyond my means. In the next 3-4 years, I'm hoping to get a few rooms repainted/wall paper removed that I've tried doing myself & it won't come off, LVP for the entire lower level except for the bathroom that has newer tile, and maybe a new large appliance or two.

[litebright]

Make the renovations. Maybe not all of them, but pick what's important to you and do something to make your house a place that you enjoy.

We bought our house almost four years ago, during a very rapid cross-country move, and while I appreciate a lot of things about it, I haven't loved it. We had a ton of delayed maintenance to catch up on, but now we are in a position to start aesthetic changes and are in the midst of having the entire first floor repainted. The painters are just about done with the kitchen/eating area, and OMG. It is SUCH a transformation, and the space feels entirely new. It feels so much more like ours. Like we're actually living in our house, not someone else's former house, the people whose paint colors and window treatments and old picture hardware were still on the walls.

I told DH that this may be what tips me from just liking this house, to loving it. And it's just paint! (Well, and a lot of repairs to nail pops and wall damage, and hideous wallpaper coming down.)

[konapoppy]

We are updating our bathrooms, doing a kitchen facelift, and a few other cosmetic items - new front door, new sconces, etc. So far one bathroom is done and the kitchen is half done, and I absolutely love it.

There is a lot to be said for enjoying the renovations to your home rather than renovating when it is time to sell. In your situation, unless you think the migration to Texas is going to change the housing market, I would do some updates to make you love your house more.

[dr.girlfriend]

I don't have a lot of input, except to say we paid a ton for a big renovation and don't regret a dime. If anything we regret not doing it sooner. Our biggest issue with our house was the small master bedroom and tiny single full bathroom. We added a giant master suite (and solar) and it's amazing.

[ellipses84]

If you look at it solely from a MM perspective, you can consider return on investment so there may be some things that are more worth it than others when it comes to resale value. I think you also have to consider other factors like how you feel about the space every day and the convenience, efficiency and happiness that you would experience from making a change. For example, if you hate your kitchen every time you walk in it and prepare 2-3 meals a day in it, I think you should renovate it and it can help future resale value. For the front door, it’s a cheap DIY to paint it, and you have to consider if that would solve your issues with it or if you should replace the door. If it’s in bad shape, you’d probably want to do something about it before selling, so you might as well do it now and enjoy it for a few years.

I’d rate A/C as your highest priority. It will help with the sound issues from neighbors because you can keep your windows closed and it will improve your daily life. Also, life is slowly returning to normal, so neighbors won’t seem so annoying in the future.

For the yard, there may be ways to create more visual and/ or sound privacy with fences, screens or planting. I’ve seen some cool freestanding planter screens I thought would be nice since our neighbors on one side of us are lower and our shared fence is too low for privacy.