"if I die file" questions

[dAZ]

I don't often come to this board so I don't know if this has been discussed, feel free to point me in the right direction. I've had no luck with the search function.

I need to know the best way to securely share information with a spouse in the event of an unexpected death. My husband takes care of all of the finances (please don't flame me) but I do worry about what would happen if he would suddenly/unexpectedly die. My husband is paranoid (probably rightfully so) of hackers/passwords, etc. so he changes passwords fairly regularly and I just can't/don't keep up. What do you include in your file and how do you keep the information secure?

[puppylove64]

Maybe put stuff on paper and lock it in a safe?

[laterz]

User a password manager. That way you only need to know the main password, but you can get to all the others. 1Password is a good tool.

[dAZ]

May 25, 2021 11:40:50 GMT -5 puppylove64 said:

Maybe put stuff on paper and lock it in a safe?

We've tried this but the passwords don't get updated.

[just]

May 25, 2021 12:00:20 GMT -5 laterz said:

User a password manager. That way you only need to know the main password, but you can get to all the others. 1Password is a good tool.

This is the best answer. Password Managers are actually also considered safer from hackers. I don't love 1Passwords UI, but it is VERY highly recommended.

[cosmowife]

I use LastPass - I love it. I have the main password locked away in a fireproof box.

[shaynaatl]

Agreed, use of these well-regarded password managers:

1Password
LastPass
BitWarden

We were with LastPass for many years, but recently moved to BitWarden. Had no issues with either.

[ellipses84]

Is he willing to write passwords in a physical book? If not, he should at least list the account websites and usernames of all the family accounts somewhere for you (and possibly account numbers or save at least 1 statement from each account; hard copy in a safe or digital on an external hard drive). If you have access to his email and phone, you’ll be able to reset all his passwords if something happened to him. You’d just need to be updated on his phone passcode and his email password when he changes them (and for some you may need his SSN). Usually when you reset a password it will send an email or text confirmation code, then allow you to make a new password. If he has his own laptop, it would help to have that password too, or make sure he saves important info to an external hard drive. Worst case, if you have the names of the institutions, you’ll be able to call them and send a death certificate to get the account info. For bank accounts it’s best to have your name on some with enough money for you to deal with immediate things like mortgage / house bills and funeral arrangements (life insurance can take time).

[ohgillian]

May 25, 2021 12:42:37 GMT -5 cosmowife said:

I use LastPass - I love it. I have the main password locked away in a fireproof box.

Ditto this; I really like LastPass. It also has a feature where you can designate an emergency contact. B/c my H isn't into technology, I made my brother my emergency contact who can access the account if needed. (And H knows this.)

I really think a password manager is the best way to manage this. In addition to which I LOVE using LastPass.

[Poppy]

Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but it's more important to have a list of where all the accounts are and what type they are (eg savings, 401k, etc). Worst case, you can call the companies and get set up with your own login if his is inaccessible. So you don't really need to stress about not having his passwords.

But I do think that if you specifically want access to his online accounts, a password manager or a designated written location are good solutions.

[madringal]

I agree with Poppy. If you know where the accounts all are you really don't need passwords. I would have set up my own logins today for your main bank accounts if you don't already have them. Or where ever your emergency fund is. Make sure you can access that. Anything else you can get access too if something were to happen.

[dr.girlfriend]

May 25, 2021 17:19:31 GMT -5 Poppy said:

Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but it's more important to have a list of where all the accounts are and what type they are (eg savings, 401k, etc). Worst case, you can call the companies and get set up with your own login if his is inaccessible. So you don't really need to stress about not having his passwords.

But I do think that if you specifically want access to his online accounts, a password manager or a designated written location are good solutions.

I believe Gmail won't let anyone else change your password, even with proof of death, so if you're locked out of their email you're kind of stuck, especially if they've set password reset codes to go to their email address.  So I would definitely stay current on the code to unlock his phone and email, at the very least.  Otherwise, a list of accounts and approximate balances (maybe once a year) would be really helpful I'm sure.  Sometimes even if you can accomplish something it's still a giant pain -- you need a notarized letter, a death certificate, etc., etc. all snail-mailed.  For a couple, where you might want to be taking over paying important bills or whatever, that would be a hassle.

[Poppy]

May 25, 2021 17:57:35 GMT -5 dr.girlfriend said:

May 25, 2021 17:19:31 GMT -5 Poppy said:

Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but it's more important to have a list of where all the accounts are and what type they are (eg savings, 401k, etc). Worst case, you can call the companies and get set up with your own login if his is inaccessible. So you don't really need to stress about not having his passwords.

But I do think that if you specifically want access to his online accounts, a password manager or a designated written location are good solutions.

I believe Gmail won't let anyone else change your password, even with proof of death, so if you're locked out of their email you're kind of stuck, especially if they've set password reset codes to go to their email address.  So I would definitely stay current on the code to unlock his phone and email, at the very least.  Otherwise, a list of accounts and approximate balances (maybe once a year) would be really helpful I'm sure.  Sometimes even if you can accomplish something it's still a giant pain -- you need a notarized letter, a death certificate, etc., etc. all snail-mailed.  For a couple, where you might want to be taking over paying important bills or whatever, that would be a hassle.

Google does have an 'inactive account manager'!
support.google.com/accounts/answer/3036546?hl=en

It says you can set it to give access to your data after a certain inactive period. And you can choose whether mail is included in that data. Good thing to set up if you use Gmail, and ask your loved ones to set up!

ETA there is a minimum 3 month inactivity period before it kicks in, though. So if you have the actual password that would be preferable.

[kitchenreno]

May 25, 2021 17:19:31 GMT -5 Poppy said:

Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but it's more important to have a list of where all the accounts are and what type they are (eg savings, 401k, etc). Worst case, you can call the companies and get set up with your own login if his is inaccessible. So you don't really need to stress about not having his passwords.

But I do think that if you specifically want access to his online accounts, a password manager or a designated written location are good solutions.

Unfortunately it's not always easy even with account info.  My husband died unexpectedly.  I had his spreadsheet of account numbers and passwords and I was named the beneficiary on his accounts as well as in his will.  But some companies are total PITAs once they learn of a death.  It will all get worked out, but it is definitely preferable to be able to log in yourself and handle things faster.

I called one company (529 college account) with a question after my husband's death.  I had the login info and was named the beneficiary.  Once they heard of his death (from me, because I called), they locked me out of the account completely and made me jump through hoops to set up new accounts and transfer the balances.  It was a total nightmare.  This was 1.5 years ago and I'm still bitter, lol.

[dAZ]

Thanks for all of the information. You have all really inspired me to get this information together. My husband is in perfectly good health but we've had friends/acquaintances pass away suddenly in the last few years and this is such a stressor for me because I know I'd be lost financially without my husband.

[Poppy]

kitchenreno that sounds like a huge stress, on top of an already incredibly difficult time. Thank you for sharing your experience - sounds like I need to rethink my plans.

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

[kitchenreno]

May 25, 2021 22:45:38 GMT -5 Poppy said:

kitchenreno that sounds like a huge stress, on top of an already incredibly difficult time. Thank you for sharing your experience - sounds like I need to rethink my plans.

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Thank you.  Like I said, it'll all get squared away eventually, but it's just infinitely easier to be able to access yourself.  In my case, I already handled the day-to-day finances and DH handled the longer-term finances.  I was able to just continue doing the day to day bills at first and wait a little bit on tackling the long term stuff.