Vegetarian advice for teen

[gummybear]

Please help me. My older DD has always been a picky eater. She has a weak palate and would fully subsist on chicken tenders, French fries and balance bars if she had her druthers. She generally doesn’t like meat (or eggs, or fish) which I can understand - I dislike red meat myself. She’s decided she wants to be vegetarian. I don’t want to discourage her but I’m also trying to gently remind her that she cannot live off of frozen processed meat substitute items and glorified candy bars.

She’s almost 14. She a stubborn, moody, combative person. I am exhausted. She gets most of her nutrition ideas and recipe from Tik Tok which is a load of BS - bc it’s not actual nutritionists, it’s dumb filtered 20 year olds in sports bras.

She’s open to me bringing her books from the library. Does anyone have any suggestions for her? She’s not a reader so it would prob need to be something pretty straightforward and short, not a lot of waxing poetic about feelings.

[missva]

I'm vegetarian and can make some suggestions, but it really depends on her reasoning for making that decision. Did she do it from an animal welfare standpoint, environmental impact, or just because of foods she likes? Are you looking for healthy vegetarian eating resources or something more philosophical?

[gummybear]

Jul 20, 2021 8:57:29 GMT -5 missva said:

I'm vegetarian and can make some suggestions, but it really depends on her reasoning for making that decision. Did she do it from an animal welfare standpoint, environmental impact, or just because of foods she likes? Are you looking for healthy vegetarian eating resources or something more philosophical?

It’s def not about animals or the environment. I’d say it’s bc she doesn’t like the taste of meat, and prob bc the people she is following on Tik Tok recommend it as the way they stay fit. It’s mostly health focused IMO.

ETA: Def food resources. I want her to be educated on how to flesh out a healthful diet and draw from whole sources rather than just eating vegan nuggets and protein bars all day. I want her to learn about alternate protein sources.

[Jalapeñomel]

There are actually quite a few good nutritionists on Tik Tok. Dietician Anna is the first that comes to mind. vm.tiktok.com/ZMdGJ4VQ6/

[gummybear]

Jul 20, 2021 9:07:31 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

There are actually quite a few good nutritionists on Tik Tok. Dietician Anna is the first that comes to mind. vm.tiktok.com/ZMdGJ4VQ6/

Suggestions are welcome! She is not following legitimate sources

[cuadrado]

I highly recommend Karla from Vegan Kids Nutrition. She is a registered dietitian who specializes in pediatric vegan diets, and the information would be mostly applicable if your daughter doesn't like eggs or fish.

vegankidsnutrition.com

I know Karla is on Instagram, unsure about TikTok.

[missva]

Tasty Vegetarian and Vegan Richa are my favorite social media accounts for well balanced but yummy recipes. Forks over Knives is a good doc on Netflix and they also have a good recipe plan book (and a website).

[nancybotwin]

Just wanted to offer commiseration- my 11 year old DD is the same. I say she’s the only vegetarian who doesn’t eat fruit or vegetables (to which she replies “I eat some if they are cooked the way I like them!” Spoiler: they rarely are)

[gummybear]

Jul 20, 2021 9:23:07 GMT -5 nancybotwin said:

Just wanted to offer commiseration- my 11 year old DD is the same. I say she’s the only vegetarian who doesn’t eat fruit or vegetables (to which she replies “I eat some if they are cooked the way I like them!” Spoiler: they rarely are)

YES!! Also she might like something one week so I go buy more and then she’s “over it” and it rots.

She also dislikes a lot of vegetables and the ones that she does like can be dismissed bc of the most convoluted reasons.

[goldengirlz]

I gave up meat at almost the exact same age and for almost the exact same reason … but I have to admit that “pissing off my parents” was a nice side benefit. I ate a lot of Oreo cookie cereal, Boca burgers and plain pasta … and not much else.

Fourteen is a really tough age and having a crappy diet for a couple of years didn’t kill me. What was really bothering me at the time was a mix of depression, general teen angst and wanting more control over my body.

I’ve been a vegetarian (well, now pescatarian) ever since and eat a very healthy, balanced diet. I’m sure you’ll get some good resources but I also feel like this is a “pick your battles” thing. She’s experimenting like all teenagers do, maybe testing you a bit. Focus on the big picture (her general mental health and body image) and don’t go to war over how much protein she’s getting on any given day. It’ll work itself out.

[gummybear]

goldengirlz I completely agree. MH and I were just discussing this - he is much more focused on the “getting the right nutrients” part of it (understandably, he’s a T1 diabetic and doesn’t have the luxury of being lackadaisical about his diet). I’ve tried to reiterate what I focused on in therapy. That at this age she needs to learn by experience and consequence and that our unsolicited advice does more harm than good. She asked for books though, so I’m following her lead.

We have a pretty good open relationship and discuss body image a lot. She’s a competitive runner and developed early, and it was really hard on her to take a few steps back, as is common with girls when their body changes. There were lots of girls her age still zipping around in their childlike bodies while she was dealing with her new body and hormonal changes. So it’s not only an issue of properly fueling for all her activity, I’m trying to gently redirect her to realistic examples of athletic bodies, not Til Tok influencers who just make her feel bad about herself.

She def is enjoying pissing us off. She’s admitted as much!

[af1212]

When I was a teen I had a book called “The Teen’s Guide to Going Vegetarian”.

I have no idea if it’s still in print but I’m sure you can get it used and luckily recipes and stuff like that won’t have gone out of date.

Also if you have her Tik tok login I would recommend going in sometime when you have about an hour to kill and “disliking” all of the content you find to be inaccurate. The algorithm will show you more of what you like and less of what you don’t. So for my daughter when she briefly had tik tok I would go in at night and like a bunch of cute dogs, cool art videos, etc and dislike all of the crap I didn’t want her to see. It was really impactful to how much her feed changed.

[af1212]

Found the book I was talking about and also another one that looks interesting -

A Teen's Guide to Going Vegetarian www.amazon.com/dp/0670851140/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_415YFDEKXK560M9B8Z9P

Smart Girl’s Guide to Going Vegetarian
m.barnesandnoble.com/w/smart-girls-guide-to-going-vegetarian-rachel-meltzer-warren/1115318540

[gummybear]

Jul 20, 2021 9:59:34 GMT -5 af1212 said:

Found the book I was talking about and also another one that looks interesting -

A Teen's Guide to Going Vegetarian www.amazon.com/dp/0670851140/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_415YFDEKXK560M9B8Z9P

Smart Girl’s Guide to Going Vegetarian
m.barnesandnoble.com/w/smart-girls-guide-to-going-vegetarian-rachel-meltzer-warren/1115318540

I was on this like white on rice! Ordered the teen one!

[Gato]

Jul 20, 2021 9:59:34 GMT -5 af1212 said:

Found the book I was talking about and also another one that looks interesting -

A Teen's Guide to Going Vegetarian www.amazon.com/dp/0670851140/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_415YFDEKXK560M9B8Z9P

Smart Girl’s Guide to Going Vegetarian
m.barnesandnoble.com/w/smart-girls-guide-to-going-vegetarian-rachel-meltzer-warren/1115318540

Thanks for these recommendations; I’m going to get the Smart Girls Guide for my DD. They’re another one that has gone vegetarian (at 11; they are 13 now) but refuse to eat most vegetables. It’s maddening, but I’ve learned not to show it, as that’s exactly the ire teens like to provoke in their parents!

FYI to the OP, there are three meals my picky eater will always eat, and that successfully deliver vegetables—veggie pizza; tacos with rice, beans, guacamole, and peppers; and veggie stir fry with tofu fried in sesame oil. So I make these every week, and DD will absolutely demolish several servings, and I worry less about the other days. They also love fresh apple slices with peanut butter, so that’s a snack almost every day. You just have to find these foods you all can agree on, and then meals will be less contentious.

[doctoranda]

She may like following the No Meat Athlete ( a vegan runner). www.nomeatathlete.com/
He has books too. It might be a bit mature in content (very factual and dry) but maybe something you can peruse together.

[chedifuen]

I'm vegetarian, as is my whole family including my teenage son. I have one picky kid that doesn't love a ton of vegetables. I just have to continually remind myself that it's nutritionally no different than a meat eating kid that doesn't love vegetables. We continue to work on trying them and also just offer a variety of other healthy foods.

[MDmomof2]

This is my DD exactly! She is 13 and has been a vegetarian for 4 years. I call her a pizza and pasta vegetarian - that’s basically all she eats in addition to apples, bananas, corn, peas, broccoli, and green beans. At home, we feed her those things. We are on vacation now in a coastal area with lots of seafood and are struggling. We went to a pizza place and she didn’t like the sauce on the pizza and won’t eat there again. Sigh.

[gummybear]

Jul 20, 2021 10:31:03 GMT -5 Gato said:

Jul 20, 2021 9:59:34 GMT -5 af1212 said:

Found the book I was talking about and also another one that looks interesting -

A Teen's Guide to Going Vegetarian www.amazon.com/dp/0670851140/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_415YFDEKXK560M9B8Z9P

Smart Girl’s Guide to Going Vegetarian
m.barnesandnoble.com/w/smart-girls-guide-to-going-vegetarian-rachel-meltzer-warren/1115318540

FYI to the OP, there are three meals my picky eater will always eat, and that successfully deliver vegetables—veggie pizza; tacos with rice, beans, guacamole, and peppers; and veggie stir fry with tofu fried in sesame oil. So I make these every week, and DD will absolutely demolish several servings, and I worry less about the other days. They also love fresh apple slices with peanut butter, so that’s a snack almost every day. You just have to find these foods you all can agree on, and then meals will be less contentious.

She wants to try tofu so I am totally game for that. I personally like tofu. She doesn't like avocado or black beans (though I think she hasn't given them a fair shake). I plan on implementing  3 "go tos" she can have when nothing else appeals to her. 

[mainelyfoolish]

Due to an eating disorder (avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder, aka ARFID) my 13 year old is a near-vegetarian who eats virtually no fruits or vegetables. The only meat they eat is bacon, the only "fruit" they eat is chocolate chip banana bread, and the only vegetable they eat is lettuce with croutons and ranch dressing. They eat a lot of dairy (milk and cheese) and processed carbs. I'm not suggesting this is a good diet, but they have successfully stayed alive and healthy this way for 12+ years with the assistance of a multivitamin supplement. I'm telling you this to reassure you that even if your DD did eat nothing but meat substitute and balance bars, she will be ok!

[katb]

My DD (now 16.5) has been a vegetarian since seventh grade. We do use some meat substitutes (she actually doesn't like a lot - beyond meat is one of her favorites) but try to use veggies in place of the meat. We also use a lot of beans, lentils, grains, etc. I would not let her go vegan for health reasons (and too much work on my part honestly - I don't know enough on how to properly nutrition a teenager on vegan diet).
She eats eggs, peanut/sun butter, chick peas, lentils, quinoa, hummus, black beans, refried beans, and some tofu for protein. Firm tofu can be cut into chuncks and cooked in any sauce and tastes like the sauce. Same with chick peas most of the time.

It takes some finagling but I find I can make most recipes without the meat up until the end and I will put some of the meal on the side for her or add them meat on the side for the family. Also, I use better than boullion veggie a lot (instead of chicken broth, etc).

She is a vegetarian for environment and ethical reasons - a lot of the meat substitutes have a heavier environmental impact than ethically sourced local meat (which can be hard to find and expensive).

Her pediatrician is aware and has followed us. We met with a nutrionist twice early on. She has to eat protein and veggies. My rule was you aren't just eating toast and pasta. She is open to trying a lot of different things. This past year she did eat about 3 bites of crab meat (we live in Maryland) but she won't try any other seafood.

[foundmylazybum]

My suggestion is to find a female registered dietician that specializes in this area that she can see in person. This is a complex area and it's pretty easy to screw up. It is much, much better to go to an expert and hear it from the person and then, importantly, get feedback on your thoughts and actions.


Also, speaking from an extensive competitor running background: she needs in person advice. I see so. SO many athletes, men and women upstream who have bad food ideas and habits that they absolutely sell as facts and its hurting performance.

Finally, I'll say this about finding information online: there is so much noise that while yes, there are some good social media resources..man, at 13/14..the kid is an absolute novice. They have no ability to filter.

[gummybear]

Jul 20, 2021 11:01:57 GMT -5 foundmylazybum said:

My suggestion is to find a female registered dietician that specializes in this area that she can see in person. This is a complex area and it's pretty easy to screw up. It is much, much better to go to an expert and hear it from the person and then, importantly, get feedback on your thoughts and actions.


Also, speaking from an extensive competitor running background: she needs in person advice. I see so. SO many athletes, men and women upstream who have bad food ideas and habits that they absolutely sell as facts and its hurting performance.

Finally, I'll say this about finding information online: there is so much noise that while yes, there are some good social media resources..man, at 13/14..the kid is an absolute novice. They have no ability to filter.

This is what I worry about. There is just so much misinformation out there. And while we don't want to focus too much on performance (meaning winning) we do want to focus on improving herself - Prs etc. This is why running appeals to her - her greatest competition is herself. We've talked about seeing an RD but she got all freaked out that they would "judge" her.  Sigh. 

[joy]

My concern would be protein first.

I’m not vegetarian but I hate cooking meat (I’m always worried I’ll undercook it) so I cook myself vegetarian stuff.

Edamame, greek yogurt, tofu, nuts/peanut butter, adding milk to things, adding spinach to things, adding cheese to things, and veggie burgers are all good ways to get more protein in a meal according to my nutritionist. Having 15 - 20 g of protein per meal will keep her fuller for longer. Also not nutritionist recommended but available with added protein are vegetable-based pastas and barilla pasta in a yellow box, which tastes the same as traditional pasta but has added protein.

[rooster222]

My teens are vegetarian and pescatarian and also runners. My 14 y/o can be really difficult and eats way more junky food than I would prefer. My 17 y/o definitely cares more about her health so I'm hoping the 14 y/o will become more aware in the next few years. I think getting them in the kitchen helps a lot.

Food is the Solution is one of my favorite cookbooks. Otherwise I cook a lot from the Minimalist Baker blog.

[foundmylazybum]

Jul 20, 2021 11:07:38 GMT -5 gummybear said:

Jul 20, 2021 11:01:57 GMT -5 foundmylazybum said:

My suggestion is to find a female registered dietician that specializes in this area that she can see in person. This is a complex area and it's pretty easy to screw up. It is much, much better to go to an expert and hear it from the person and then, importantly, get feedback on your thoughts and actions.


Also, speaking from an extensive competitor running background: she needs in person advice. I see so. SO many athletes, men and women upstream who have bad food ideas and habits that they absolutely sell as facts and its hurting performance.

Finally, I'll say this about finding information online: there is so much noise that while yes, there are some good social media resources..man, at 13/14..the kid is an absolute novice. They have no ability to filter.

This is what I worry about. There is just so much misinformation out there. And while we don't want to focus too much on performance (meaning winning) we do want to focus on improving herself - Prs etc. This is why running appeals to her - her greatest competition is herself. We've talked about seeing an RD but she got all freaked out that they would "judge" her.  Sigh. 

🥺 oh, I think that is a very honest and vulnerable thing for your daughter to say as a fear..and maybe I'm looking too far into it, but that fear seems like it would drive a person to explore 1 sided information loops like Tik Tok BC they arent "judgemental." (They give no feedback at all) I think its a good thing and brave she told you that.

Idk, maybe approaching from the idea that it's actually true that working with someone in person means that yes, she will have an opportunity to find out facts and fiction so she can become a proper vegetarian? BUT that nothing is permanent. If she hated, or distrusted or disliked the person..you'd stop going!


www.fuelingforward.com/

I am giving this name as an example of a woman who might resonate with your daughter, and..idk the type of person *i* would look for, for my kids that invariably have questions in this area, and who I want to get good answers and personalized solutions.

I love that Maddie Alm is young, and is candid about how she got into nutrition. She's a really good athlete but approachable. I like that she is in sport now, so she understands current issues you mentioned your daughter wants to "look fit" and believes vegetarianism will get her there. I think this is common, but it sounds like calorie restriction does she mean "thin?" "Fit?" Or "strong?" Bc those are different and require different nutrition.

I'm not trying to harp, but emphasize she probably cannot get to that answer from a tik tok expert but only through thoughtful exploration.

[Deleted]

I think it is great you want to help her with this. I would let her eat what she wants but maybe supplement with a multi vitamin (with iron) and benefiber chew if she isn't getting a lot of vegetables or fruit. I would also recommend a b12 supplement and omega 3 fish oil. I'm a vegetarian that does intuitive eating. Some days I do not eat enough vegetables and I can feel it. So maybe look into gentle nutrition. What she eats can correlate to performance or how her body feels.

Also I think black beans are subpar to pintos, kidney, great northern, or chickpeas and the difference in protein is like 2 grams per serving. I only eat beans a few times a month... mostly in mexican food. Beans are not the hill to die on. Nor is the fallacy of vegetarians not getting enough protein.

[gummybear]

foundmylazybum I will send her that link! I agree that TT is a "safe place" because of the lack of feedback (or fact check). I'm going to try again to get her to consider a RD, with the caveat she can stop at any time.

As far as "fit" goes, ahhh, it's everchanging. One thing we have been doing is watching the Olympic trials together - seeing how strong and athletic the womens' bodies are - the muscles, not just in their legs but all over. She def. appreciates that and I do think she aims for strong - that is one thing we've emphasized since she was very little - that healthy doesn't have a look - it's fueling your body and exercising and feeling good in your skin. While she does want to be skinny, from what I can gather from her generation in general that a certain "thickness" or curviness is desired, the heroin chic look is def. something she doesn't aspire to.

[lilles]

I’m vegan for ethical reasons and my eleven year old daughter is vegetarian by choice. My other two kids eat everything.

I think one of the most important things is not to make her vegetarianism a big deal. You mentioned she’s an athlete so approach it from the perspective of fueling her body with nutrients to perform. I think that at fourteen she should be able to handle reading books on the topic aimed at adults but of course you know her best.

Also have her help prepping her meals. Now that it’s summer and she should have extra free time try to get her in the habit of meal planning or prepping several meals at a time so there’s always something she can have that she already knows she likes.

Some bo

[lilles]

Posted before I was done!!
Some recs:

No meat athlete cookbooks

Vegan meal prep