XH’s memorial service is next week, and as of now DS and I are going (barring him changing his mind). We’re flying there and back in the same day, so it will be 4 flights total in less than 24 hours. It just occurred to me this morning that maybe I should have thought this through a little bit more? I had only considered that I still have plenty of travel time left in pregnancy (I’ll be ~24w), but hadn’t thought at all about Covid, delta variant, etc. I’m vaccinated, but DS (almost 8yo) isn’t. Obviously we’ll be masked on the planes and in the airports (although we will have to eat a few times).
Theoretically we could buy a ticket for one of my parents to take him instead, but I don’t love the idea, and I don’t imagine he would, either.
Post by cricketwife on Jul 22, 2021 13:19:28 GMT -5
I think this is a situation where I would accept the risk and just go. If your son wants to attend the funeral, I think it’s important for him to be able to. And I wouldn’t want my 8 yo to have to attend his father’s funeral without me. You are vaccinated and planes are relatively safe. I’m definitely not saying there’s no risk and I understand your hesitation, but given the circumstances, I would go ahead with your plans. I’m really sorry and I hope this will bring some closure for you both.
Post by spearmintleaf on Jul 22, 2021 13:28:25 GMT -5
I’m so sorry about the position you’re in but I wouldn’t let my kid go to her father’s funeral without me under any circumstances. If you chose to drive instead of fly that would be one thing, but sending someone else really isn’t even an option.
DS had a moment of “I kind of want to go but kind of don’t want to go” last night for the very first time, which caught me completely off guard (every other time I’ve checked in about how he was feeling about going he was ok and still wanting to go). I think that’s just totally thrown me at the moment.
If it were entirely up to me I’d rather light the money on fire than risk the potential for drama with my ex ILs but it hasn’t been about me since it happened. Ugh.
I'm flying with my four unvaccinated kids for vacations/visiting family several times this summer, so I personally wouldn't worry about my kids, and I think you being vaccinated would make me feel fine about flying pregnat.
I think it's the kind of thing where you might regret going if you don't, and it's not something you could do again later.
I think you will be ok. Planes are actually pretty safe since everyone is masked and the air circulation is very good. The problem areas are things like security or the jet bridge. DS2 isn’t vaccinated yet and I’m on immunosuppressives so behave as if I’m not vaccinated usually. When we fly we double mask (surgical mask covered by cloth), don’t eat or drink, have pre check, don’t check luggage, and get on the plane last. I think taking precautions like that make it a decently safe endeavor.
I think he is likely having normal nerves as it gets closer. He needs you to assure him that going is what you should do and that you will be there holding his hand by his side for the whole service.
I told him (and have from the beginning) that whatever he decides is ok, that remembering his dad doesn’t depend on us going. If he wants to change his mind, that’s ok; there’s no wrong choice as long as he feels ok with it.
Maybe it’s wrong of me, but I’m not going to force him to go if he doesn’t want to go. It’s not an actual funeral, they didn’t have one (we have some of his ashes and already did something with some of them ourselves, and his immediate family spread the rest already; we weren’t invited). This is just a memorial service/celebration of life.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I have flown twice while pregnant, and my OB was fine with that since I am fully vaccinated. You might consider checking with yours if you think that would help you make the decision. The guidance I have been given from my OB is that I can follow CDC guidelines for all vaccinated people (pregnancy does not change their recommendations).
I think the COVID risk is likely higher for your son than for you, so if you are comfortable with him flying, I would not change plans based on you being pregnant. For what it's worth, I agree with others who have said that this is a situation in which the risk would be worth it to me.