UPDATE 2: Help me not offend sellers - Bathtub Mary

[scm1011]

UPDATE 2: I had to update because this just makes me laugh: My cleaning lady came to the new house for the first time yesterday and the first thing out of her mouth is "Are you Catholic?!?". I had no idea where this question was coming from so was all "Umm...technically yes, I'm a confirmed Catholic but I'm no longer religious....why?".

She asked if I was keeping Mary and if not could she please have her, that ours is her favorite version of Mary (I didn't realize there were different versions lol) and that she's always wanted this exact one. She whips out her iphone and and her home screen is this particular Mary as well as her key chain with Mary hanging off. I told her that Mary is cemented in but if she could find a way to remove her she's hers. Soo she excitedly calls her husband who is going to come over this weekend and excavate Mary. I'm very glad she'll be going to a new home and simultaneously apparently fulfilling my cleaning lady's longing lol. 

UPDATE: Their agent got back to mine and said that they would be MORTIFIED (literally typed all caps) if we asked that of them. He said he feels it will cause a lot of ill will. FFS. I said forget it - I'll deal with it on my own. Last thing I need is more drama this week.


I think I'll try bcv513 's method and ask a local church to pick up the statue. Do you remember what Medford parish you called? I'm right near Tufts/Davis so that would probably work.

___________________________________________
We are buying a house that is 4 doors down from where we currently live, so we are acquainted with the sellers - a religious couple in their late 70s who have lived there for 40 years. 

We close next week and saw the sellers move out over the weekend. They appear to be fully out but they left their prominent Bathtub Mary in the front yard. We are not religious in the least and I am not keen to display the blessed mother. Do we ask them to remove her at the walk through? I'm ok with them leaving the bathtub since its not a simple removal, but I don't want to throw away a religious statue or give it away on our neighborhood "Everything if Free" FB page that they are also apart of. To add an additional wrinkle they were already offended that we are going to be changing the popcorn ceilings in the house (we brought a contractor in to quote the job) and have expressed worry to the neighborhood busy body that they fear we will change the front yard a lot (we will, aside from Mary they have the yard covered entirely in white rocks which is just not my aesthetic). Their son lives around the corner so they will notice that Mary disappeared.

Soooo better to address it at the walk through or give Mary away post close? Which is less offensive?
 

ETA: If you're unfamiliar with this phenomenom this explains it: www.atlasobscura.com/articles/bathtub-mary-somerville-photos

[krystee]

I would ask them to take care of it, but I would send the request now to give them more time than the walkthrough date would give.

[acr]

Can you drop it off at their son's?

[scm1011]

Aug 2, 2021 11:37:42 GMT -5 krystee said:

I would ask them to take care of it, but I would send the request now to give them more time than the walkthrough date would give.

Yeah that's fair - I shouldn't wait if I'm going to have them take care of it. 

[af1212]

Aug 2, 2021 11:52:43 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Aug 2, 2021 11:37:42 GMT -5 krystee said:

I would ask them to take care of it, but I would send the request now to give them more time than the walkthrough date would give.

Yeah that's fair - I shouldn't wait if I'm going to have them take care of it. 

I would have your realtor contact their realtor and ask it to be removed prior to closing.

[AdaraMarie]

Maybe instead of asking them to remove it, you can just tell them you don't plan to keep it and would they like to take it with them. Then it would not come as a surprise if you post it for free to someone who might want it, but doesn't obligate them to do something.

[Susie]

Yeah, I agree with af1212, I'd have your realtor and theirs do the dirty work on this one.  I'm sure it can be phrased nicely, and realtor to realtor takes some of the personal sting out of it.  

I'd rather deal with it head on than later feel any kind of way about the changes I made, knowing they're still local and seeing it.

And yay for moving day coming so soon!

[scm1011]

Good call guys - I'll farm this one out to my realtor. I'm overthinking this I think. They chose us because they know we love the house that they so clearly love, and I just don't want them to feel like we duped them / want to change everything.

[sacattack]

Aug 2, 2021 11:59:05 GMT -5 AdaraMarie said:

Maybe instead of asking them to remove it, you can just tell them you don't plan to keep it and would they like to take it with them. Then it would not come as a surprise if you post it for free to someone who might want it, but doesn't obligate them to do something.

This is perfect! And at this point, I wouldn't worry about it too much if they don't remove her.

[bcv513]

The house we had in Medford had a Mary in the half shell. I didn’t want it but was too superstitious to toss it. I called a local church and they came and picked it up.

Since you know they’re going to notice, I would let them know ahead of time. Definitely make your realtor do it. That’s what they’re paid for.

[expectantsteelerfan]

Aug 2, 2021 13:41:33 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Good call guys - I'll farm this one out to my realtor. I'm overthinking this I think. They chose us because they know we love the house that they so clearly love, and I just don't want them to feel like we duped them / want to change everything.

You might need to get over that as soon as you close (I get not wanting to piss them off pre-closing, but after you close, it's your house and you shouldn't not do what you want because they will disapprove).  

I like the idea of using your realtor, saying that you noticed they left it and saying that you would not plan to keep it so just wanted to double check if they wanted it, but if they do, you would like it removed before closing.

[RockNVoll]

You've already gotten good advice, I'm just here to say that obviously I've seen these all over having grown up in the area, but (1) I've never heard them called this and am getting a good giggle out of it, and (2) I now need to look a lot closer to see of some of the ones I've seen are actual bathtubs and I've just never noticed!

[lo]

My Boston grandma totally had one, but I don’t remember if it was an actual tub? Trying to think if she would have been offended in this situation. I think she would have been, lol. I think it’s all how you phrase it!

[laterz]

Honestly, I wouldn't be happy having to deal with a bathtub in my yard, left from the previous sellers. Why should that become your problem to remove? They should have to remove it. And I would have the realtor convey that.

[af1212]

Aug 2, 2021 13:42:27 GMT -5 sacattack said:

Aug 2, 2021 11:59:05 GMT -5 AdaraMarie said:

Maybe instead of asking them to remove it, you can just tell them you don't plan to keep it and would they like to take it with them. Then it would not come as a surprise if you post it for free to someone who might want it, but doesn't obligate them to do something.

This is perfect! And at this point, I wouldn't worry about it too much if they don't remove her.

I would be super annoyed if I bought a house and had to remove a bathtub from the yard.

I really think this should be dealt with prior to closing.

[silvercrayon]

I had to Google. Holy, Moly!!! I have never seen anything like that in our area.

Yeah, I would tell them that I was not planning to keep it and to please come take it if they want it.

[heygrey]

I am familiar with religious symbol/statues in the front yard, but the bathtub is new to me! Because I realize they mean a lot to the person who displayed them, I would give them the courtesy (via realtors) to remove it themselves. I wouldn't hesitate to take it to the dump if it became my problem though. My house, my choice.

[scm1011]

Aug 2, 2021 16:27:16 GMT -5 RockNVoll said:

You've already gotten good advice, I'm just here to say that obviously I've seen these all over having grown up in the area, but (1) I've never heard them called this and am getting a good giggle out of it, and (2) I now need to look a lot closer to see of some of the ones I've seen are actual bathtubs and I've just never noticed!

You will TOTALLY notice all the bathtubs now. I mean Somerville has a uniquely high amount per capita due to the amount of Italian/Irish/Portguese Catholic immigrants, but there def must be a bunch where you grew up as well. There are more than a handful in my immediate neighborhood.

I told my realtor to please address with their realtor, so hopefully Mary (and bathtub) will be removed before we close next week. I'm really more concerned about Mary (I have enough residual Catholic guilt to not want to toss a religious statue), we could probably think of something fun/quirky to showcase in the bathtub if need be. I'm sure if the sellers are offended I will hear about it from the neighborhood busybody over the next couple days. 

[tacokick]

Aug 3, 2021 7:44:20 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Aug 2, 2021 16:27:16 GMT -5 RockNVoll said:

You've already gotten good advice, I'm just here to say that obviously I've seen these all over having grown up in the area, but (1) I've never heard them called this and am getting a good giggle out of it, and (2) I now need to look a lot closer to see of some of the ones I've seen are actual bathtubs and I've just never noticed!

You will TOTALLY notice all the bathtubs now. I mean Somerville has a uniquely high amount per capita due to the amount of Italian/Irish/Portguese Catholic immigrants, but there def must be a bunch where you grew up as well. There are more than a handful in my immediate neighborhood.

I told my realtor to please address with their realtor, so hopefully Mary (and bathtub) will be removed before we close next week. I'm really more concerned about Mary (I have enough residual Catholic guilt to not want to toss a religious statue), we could probably think of something fun/quirky to showcase in the bathtub if need be. I'm sure if the sellers are offended I will hear about it from the neighborhood busybody over the next couple days. 

Good luck.

I’d totally turn that thing into a quirky piece of street art if they didn’t take it. I’ve seen them turned into fun mosaic planters.


I would give zero thought to offending the old owners though. They can manage their own feelings; it really has nothing to do with you. They sold the house. They can feel any kind of way about it but I would shut down anyone reporting it back to you.

[Susie]

Also coming back in to say... these are all over where I grew up (a very Italian Catholic area in South Jersey) and I was an embarrassing number of years old when I realized they were actually bath tubs!  lol.

Keep us updated  

[tacokick]

Aug 3, 2021 10:41:36 GMT -5 Susie said:

Also coming back in to say... these are all over where I grew up (a very Italian Catholic area in South Jersey) and I was an embarrassing number of years old when I realized they were actually bath tubs!  lol.

Keep us updated  

Who would think that they were bath tubs though? If I didn’t know, I’d just assume they were some weird bespoke shell.

[penguingrrl]

Wow, I’ve seen these my entire life (NJ) and until I read this thread had no idea they were in bathtubs. I’ve never looked that closely to realize it because “Mary on the half shell” is so common around here.

I would definitely let your realtor do the dirty work here and make it known that you don’t plan to keep it, so they should bring it with them or ensure it’s removed with their other personal items prior to closing.

[dr.girlfriend]

I think you've gotten good advice, but I just wanted to say I understand people saying "Once they've sold the house it's none of their business what you do with it" but I do remember the context that these were neighbors and they possibly might have chosen your offer over others because you *did* show appreciation for the house in its current state and show them consideration. Given their close connections to the neighborhood, etc., I understand you wanting to be a little sensitive and not be like, "Haha, we fooled you, now it's time to bring out the wrecking ball!" if YKWIM. That said, usually once you're settled in you'll start with the inside and then move to the outside, and hopefully their interest will wane.

[rubytue]

This thread reminds me that we forgot to dig up the St Joe in the front yard of the house that closed 2 hours ago.

We aren’t religious, though H grew up Catholic. But, we did do St Joseph when we sold the rental house. And since we had him, buried him again before listing.

[scm1011]

Thanks, dr.girlfriend - you remember correctly and that's exactly it. Otherwise I'd be in the too bad so sad camp.

My agent told their agent, but we haven't heard anything further. Mary is still there and we're T-6 days to close.

[scm1011]

update in OP

[af1212]

Aug 6, 2021 7:53:51 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

update in OP

That is completely ridiculous of their realtor. Grow up and do your job dude.

[whattheheck]

Their realtor is being ridiculous.

[scm1011]

Aug 6, 2021 7:57:28 GMT -5 af1212 said:

Aug 6, 2021 7:53:51 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

update in OP

That is completely ridiculous of their realtor. Grow up and do your job dude.

Agreed. I suspect he may be an extended family member / close friend. 

[af1212]

Aug 6, 2021 8:00:53 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Aug 6, 2021 7:57:28 GMT -5 af1212 said:

That is completely ridiculous of their realtor. Grow up and do your job dude.

Agreed. I suspect he may be an extended family member / close friend. 

Gross. That’s the price you pay when you do business with family. Sometimes it gets uncomfortable.

I’m sorry for you