Covid/friends question

[jackie011]

Despite dealing with this at work for quite a while, this is the first time our household has had to deal with it directly. If you’ve taken your child for a Covid test, did you also notify their friends? I’ve told his closest friend’s mom, just debating if I need to send a bunch of messages. It could literally be anything, and I’ll be surprised if he actually has covid, but we need a - test to return to school.

ETA: I told his 2 closest friends who are also classmates. They went back to school last week, fully masked. I had him tested because he had 3 symptoms kind of out of nowhere and didn’t want him shutting down 2 different schools (his & mine).

[mccallister84]

We’ve been very open about sharing symptoms and testing with all of the friends the girls have interacted with over the past 1.5 years, but granted it’s a pretty small group. Personally, I’d like to know, although at this point it wouldn’t change my behavior (beyond not seeing you until the results are back).

[krystee]

If you had a known exposure and symptoms so it was pretty likely to be positive, I’d want to know. Otherwise, I would almost rather you NOT tell me so I don’t have to wonder about when to test and whether to test and whether to quarantine, for probably no reason.

[abs]

Yes. We are all very open with each other when our kids have been exposed to anything—not just Covid. It’s good to have the heads up so you can monitor any symptoms.

DD has been exposed to Covid. I haven’t tested her because she has zero symptoms but it’s good for me to know so I can keep an eye out.

[waverly]

I’ve only told if the child was positive, and they have not tested positive yet.

If they got invited somewhere I would tell them DD is in quarantine from school - the one time she was quarantined.

One time I was sick (not Covid) and I told our friends I was sick but not Covid. I said the same for when DS has bacterial pneumonia. I told them but I said it wasn’t Covid. But I waited until a diagnosis because I didn’t know what he had. And some viruses we don’t know, we just know not Covid.

[VillainV]

With rapid tests, I’d probably only notify people of a positive test result, UNLESS we had a known exposure and classic symptoms (ie: loss of taste or smell or a high fever).

We have a household of people with bad seasonal allergies, and we have tested for sore throats/coughs/runny noses, but I haven’t been notifying all of our contacts for every time we test. Honestly it’s worth it to just wait a few hours for the test result (now that results are available that fast).

[scm1011]

We do, but we did pre-covid too with other illnesses. In my core group that are together a lot it is normal to send each other group texts all "Just a heads up: Calvin woke up stuffy and coughing a bit; I think he's just caught the cold going around but we brought him in to be tested anyway - I'll keep you posted". I appreciate the transparency from others doing the same.

[af1212]

I guess I can’t tell the circumstances of why you are testing. But if your kid was exposed to someone with covid I would tell anyone you interacted with between that time and now.

If you’re testing because your kid has symptoms I guess I would tell anyone I was with in the 2 days prior to when symptoms began. I’m assuming that once symptoms began you stopped seeing people but if that’s not then case then I would tell anyone you hung out with between 2 days prior to symptoms and now.

[Bad Dingo]

Since your child has symptoms I'd definitely tell anyone that they were around so that they can also be on the lookout for symptoms or test if they feel like they should. Test turnaround time is increasing so waiting until you get results could possibly spread Covid more if that's what it is. Good luck and hopefully it's just some other illness!

[lemoncupcake]

Aug 22, 2021 17:01:46 GMT -5 jackie011 said:

Despite dealing with this at work for quite a while, this is the first time our household has had to deal with it directly. If you’ve taken your child for a Covid test, did you also notify their friends? I’ve told his closest friend’s mom, just debating if I need to send a bunch of messages. It could literally be anything, and I’ll be surprised if he actually has covid, but we need a - test to return to school.

Has he been around these friends unmasked/indoors lately? And how recently?

[isabel]

I would probably only tell if we got a positive test, not while waiting for results. But while waiting for results, I would not let him interact with any friends and would tell the parents why.

I think if it were me, I wouldn't want to get spun up about whether DS had potentially been exposed. It would be easier for me to deal with if I knew someone he'd had contact with was positive, as opposed to was just waiting on results.

[steamboat185]

We test our kids every few weeks just to be extra cautious (plus we’ve had known exposures at camp, school, etc) we do not let people know that we are taking a test. I have let people know after the test if we were thinking of meeting up that they were recently cleared.

[mrsGreeko]

I only told people when I had a sick kid in the house and we were waiting on covid test results if we had plans for their kids to also be in my house because no one wants that.

And then when my DD tested positive I had her tell the neighbors she had babysat for the night before (they’d already had covid so they weren’t worried, they didn’t get it again so good news there) and I told my other DDs friend and my DSs friend because DD’s friend had been over a couple days before DD1 started with symptoms (she didn’t get covid) and DS was actually spending the night at his friend’s house the night DD1 became symptomatic (his friend also did not get covid). In fact, my DD didn’t infect a single other person.

I’d only tell if you have plans you need to cancel because you have a sick kid or if your kid tests positive. Otherwise people just panic and think they need to quarantine even though they have no actual exposure and it gets ridiculous fast.

[redpenmama]

I am so on edge with all of the quarantines and cases right now that I probably wouldn't want to know until you had a positive test. It would just be stress inducing for me. Given that testing turnaround (here at least) is pretty quick (less than 24h), I'd just wait for results and then notify as needed.

[goldengirlz]

The reason to tell people is if they would need to isolate as well. So if our kids were playing together within the last few days and your kid develops a fever, then I need to know so I can at least keep DD away from high risk people like my mom.

If there’s no reason to think our kids might be passing covid around (i.e. this is just a routine test for school or our kids haven’t played together, etc.), then no, I don’t think you’re obligated to tell anyone unless the test comes back positive.

[kitty]

I tell friends if we’ve been around them or have upcoming plans. We tested all three kids before we went on vacation with the ILs and did not tell anyone then.

[goldengirlz]

Aug 22, 2021 21:41:46 GMT -5 mrsGreeko said:

I only told people when I had a sick kid in the house and we were waiting on covid test results if we had plans for their kids to also be in my house because no one wants that.

And then when my DD tested positive I had her tell the neighbors she had babysat for the night before (they’d already had covid so they weren’t worried, they didn’t get it again so good news there) and I told my other DDs friend and my DSs friend because DD’s friend had been over a couple days before DD1 started with symptoms (she didn’t get covid) and DS was actually spending the night at his friend’s house the night DD1 became symptomatic (his friend also did not get covid). In fact, my DD didn’t infect a single other person.

I’d only tell if you have plans you need to cancel because you have a sick kid or if your kid tests positive. Otherwise people just panic and think they need to quarantine even though they have no actual exposure and it gets ridiculous fast.

It only “gets ridiculous fast” because people are acting like covid isn’t a thing anymore in many communities and not limiting their social circles to small, stable cohorts. Unvaccinated individuals absolutely DO need to isolate if they were exposed to a suspected covid case (and meet the definition for “close contact”) — that’s how we prevent them from continuing to spread the virus to high-risk individuals. Yes, it sucks and it’s inconvenient as hell, but those are the rules of the pandemic.

All of the health attestation forms that I have to file for school and work specifically ask whether you were exposed to someone with a confirmed or suspected case of covid.

[mrsGreeko]

Aug 23, 2021 14:16:26 GMT -5 goldengirlz said:

Aug 22, 2021 21:41:46 GMT -5 mrsGreeko said:

I only told people when I had a sick kid in the house and we were waiting on covid test results if we had plans for their kids to also be in my house because no one wants that.

And then when my DD tested positive I had her tell the neighbors she had babysat for the night before (they’d already had covid so they weren’t worried, they didn’t get it again so good news there) and I told my other DDs friend and my DSs friend because DD’s friend had been over a couple days before DD1 started with symptoms (she didn’t get covid) and DS was actually spending the night at his friend’s house the night DD1 became symptomatic (his friend also did not get covid). In fact, my DD didn’t infect a single other person.

I’d only tell if you have plans you need to cancel because you have a sick kid or if your kid tests positive. Otherwise people just panic and think they need to quarantine even though they have no actual exposure and it gets ridiculous fast.

It only “gets ridiculous fast” because people are acting like covid isn’t a thing anymore in many communities and not limiting their social circles to small, stable cohorts. People absolutely DO need to isolate if they were exposed to a suspected covid case (and meet the definition for “close contact”) — that’s how we prevent them from continuing to spread the virus to high-risk individuals. Yes, it sucks and it’s inconvenient as hell, but those are the rules of the pandemic.

All of the health attestation forms that I have to file for school and work specifically ask whether you were exposed to someone with a confirmed or suspected case of covid.

Right but people think they need to tell everyone and their brother if their kid has a sniffle and then everyone panics thinking they were exposed to covid when they weren’t actually exposed because there wasn’t actually covid. Yes, quarantine after actual exposure, but if there’s no exposure then you aren’t a close contact and that’s what people seem to forget. Just because someone that spent time with someone that you spent time with tested positive does not make you a close contact unless the person that you actually had contact with actually has covid. People seem to think that contacts of contacts should quarantine, except that’s not usually the case.

[goldengirlz]

Aug 23, 2021 14:27:35 GMT -5 mrsGreeko said:

Aug 23, 2021 14:16:26 GMT -5 goldengirlz said:

It only “gets ridiculous fast” because people are acting like covid isn’t a thing anymore in many communities and not limiting their social circles to small, stable cohorts. People absolutely DO need to isolate if they were exposed to a suspected covid case (and meet the definition for “close contact”) — that’s how we prevent them from continuing to spread the virus to high-risk individuals. Yes, it sucks and it’s inconvenient as hell, but those are the rules of the pandemic.

All of the health attestation forms that I have to file for school and work specifically ask whether you were exposed to someone with a confirmed or suspected case of covid.

Right but people think they need to tell everyone and their brother if their kid has a sniffle and then everyone panics thinking they were exposed to covid when they weren’t actually exposed because there wasn’t actually covid. Yes, quarantine after actual exposure, but if there’s no exposure then you aren’t a close contact and that’s what people seem to forget. Just because someone that spent time with someone that you spent time with tested positive does not make you a close contact unless the person that you actually had contact with actually has covid. People seem to think that contacts of contacts should quarantine, except that’s not usually the case.

OK, here’s the scenario.

Jane and Anna play together on Wednesday. Anna is supposed to see her 80-year-old grandmother with diabetes on Saturday. On Friday, Jane develops a fever and cough and Jane’s mom takes her for a test.

It is only prudent for Jane’s mom to notify Anna’s family and for Anna to isolate, particularly from the grandmother but also from others who are high risk and/or unvaccinated as well. If it’s covid, Jane would be considered contagious up to two days before developing symptoms (so the day she saw Anna) and if Anna was exposed and contracted the virus, then she could be contagious starting as soon as Friday/Saturday.

So, yes, under public health guidelines, Anna should be in isolation until she gets the all-clear from Jane — including the waiting period.

While no, not every sniffle requires sounding the alarm, if there’s a reasonable suspicion that it could be covid, then public health agencies recommend that every unvaccinated person who was in contact with that individual should isolate. Even leaving aside the rules, if you were Anna’s family, wouldn’t you want to know before you exposed her grandmother??

[mrsGreeko]

Aug 23, 2021 16:18:41 GMT -5 goldengirlz said:

Aug 23, 2021 14:27:35 GMT -5 mrsGreeko said:

Right but people think they need to tell everyone and their brother if their kid has a sniffle and then everyone panics thinking they were exposed to covid when they weren’t actually exposed because there wasn’t actually covid. Yes, quarantine after actual exposure, but if there’s no exposure then you aren’t a close contact and that’s what people seem to forget. Just because someone that spent time with someone that you spent time with tested positive does not make you a close contact unless the person that you actually had contact with actually has covid. People seem to think that contacts of contacts should quarantine, except that’s not usually the case.

OK, here’s the scenario.

Jane and Anna play together on Wednesday. Anna is supposed to see her 80-year-old grandmother with diabetes on Saturday. On Friday, Jane develops a fever and cough and Jane’s mom takes her for a test.

It is only prudent for Jane’s mom to notify Anna’s family and for Anna to isolate, particularly from the grandmother but also from others who are high risk and/or unvaccinated as well. If it’s covid, Jane would be considered contagious up to two days before developing symptoms (so the day she saw Anna) and if Anna was exposed and contracted the virus, then she could be contagious starting as soon as Friday/Saturday.

So, yes, under public health guidelines, Anna should be in isolation until she gets the all-clear from Jane — including the waiting period.

While no, not every sniffle requires sounding the alarm, if there’s a reasonable suspicion that it could be covid, then public health agencies recommend that every unvaccinated person who was in contact with that individual should isolate. Even leaving aside the rules, if you were Anna’s family, wouldn’t you want to know before you exposed her grandmother??

Reasonable suspicion that it could be covid is different than just waiting for covid test results though. My kids have been tested some 40 times between the three of them, only once was it covid. And that was THE ONLY time we really suspected covid because her boyfriend lost taste and smell the same day that she woke up with a headache (and for the record she had neither a fever or a cough or loss of taste or smell). The other times we were just ruling it out, with no known exposure. If you are testing because a kid has known exposure and symptoms, yes tell everyone, it’s probably covid. If you are testing because your kid has a fever and no known exposure, I’d wait until you have results because otherwise you just cause unnecessary anxiety (just look at posts on this board over the past year where people freak out that a contact of a contact that their contact last saw 10 days ago and they are convinced they need to quarantine and that they probably have covid, it absolutely does get ridiculous fast). If you are testing because you have known exposure but no symptoms, I don’t think you need to tell anyone anything unless you get a positive result.

I also live in a place where I can easily buy the at home tests and use those sometimes and also where I can get PCR results the next day consistently so it’s not like contacts would be walking around for long and because I test for any symptom ASAP, the time is pretty damn short. And obviously I test frequently (well tested frequently, 4/5 of us are vaxxed now so less testing is necessary these days).

[preppy]

If your child has symptoms 100% tell anyone they were exposed to. My DD2 recently had covid and when she developed a cough the first thing I did was tell her friends and her camp, then I let them all know again when she tested positive. Thankfully no one else was positive but I think giving a heads up is the best thing and I would hope and expect our friends to do the same for us.