Post by notaregular on Sept 7, 2021 19:08:07 GMT -5
Hot mess mom checking in. With school and activities starting back up, it's clear once again that I don't have my shit together. I'm slogging through, have no motivation to cook, keep up with shit around here, etc. What are easy things that you have done that's helped? Whether it be easy meals, handling schedules/homework, organizing the day to day shit, etc, etc.
We both work full time (I wfh currently), my H's schedule is unpredictable so a lot of the day to day kid management/schedule keeping ends up on me. He definitely does his fair share around here, so that's not an issue. I'm for sure dealing with burnout from the past 18mos like all of us, dealing with my own mental health which also makes this stuff difficult (but thank you therapy and meds!). I feel like I need some small wins/simple solutions that will nudge me in the right direction.
My number one sanity-saving move was to do everything I could at night: make lunches, have kids choose & lay out clothes, pack up backpacks and place them on the shelf by the door, prep tomorrow night’s dinner, etc. I would try to extend the after-dinner cleanup time to include all of these steps, because that tended to be the calmest time of the evening. Kids would be fed and doing homework or playing, depending on their ages, so I could power through.
Meal planning and going easy on yourself regarding meals will help too. There is nothing wrong with frozen pizza, canned soup & sandwiches, or scrambled eggs and apple slices for dinner.
Post by pierogigirl on Sept 7, 2021 19:21:11 GMT -5
This is not to say that my house is always clean or that I have it all together, but these things help me keep it from all falling apart.
I keep a paper planner.
DECLUTTER - it's a lot easier to pick up if things have a place to go and I don't buy things we already have because I know pretty much what we have (food, clothes, housewares, etc).
DH cooks (or arranges for food one of the days) on Friday, Saturday, sometimes Sunday. I cook the rest of the week. I try to cook something that will give leftovers on Sundays that I can bring for lunch, if I cook that day. I sometimes prep food for some fo the rest of the week on Sunday.
We do two loads of laundry every day.
Make the kids help with some jobs if they are old enough (unloading dishwasher, taking our recycling and trash, putting away own clothes, wiping down bathroom sink, etc.)
Once a week I cook chicken nuggets, or grilled cheese or other superfast meals. I try to have a few items in rotation that I know the kids like and that have easy prep. My kids love meatloaf which makes me happy because it's only 5 minutes of prep.
We have this magnet dry erase calendar on the fridge. Each person has a different color dry-erase marker, and all events that affect the family go on the calendar. Husband has a doctor appointment so I need to do pickup? Goes on the calendar. Kid needs to remember library books to return to school? Goes on the calendar.
I also put the dinner menu for each night on there. (Late swimming practice means I pick a 15-minute meal).
Get yourself an Amazon Echo show. I use it to run my entire schedule. It links to my calendar, but I mainly just yell it the reminders I want. "Alexa remind me at 2:30 to pick up L" Or "Alexa add milk to my shopping list". Since it connects to my phone, my shopping list is always on me. Cuts down on forgotten items. It also will show reminders on my phone for when I am not home.
In addition to that I keep a white board in mt kitchen where I put my meal plan so I don't need to think about dinner. I keeps dinners simple. Tacos, pasta, grilled chicken and veggies. I buy steamer veggie bags (5 mins in microwave)
On one of my WFH days I throw together a veggie lentil soup at 11am. I let it simmer for 45 mins and then it's lunch for 3 days with some yummy bread.
I leave Fridays as takeout days because I'm usually spent by then. HTH GL
We have this magnet dry erase calendar on the fridge. Each person has a different color dry-erase marker, and all events that affect the family go on the calendar. Husband has a doctor appointment so I need to do pickup? Goes on the calendar. Kid needs to remember library books to return to school? Goes on the calendar.
This is great!! Need to find a wall version or just command strip it to the wall. Forgetting all the stuff happens a lot around here too.
Get yourself an Amazon Echo show. I use it to run my entire schedule. It links to my calendar, but I mainly just yell it the reminders I want. "Alexa remind me at 2:30 to pick up L" Or "Alexa add milk to my shopping list". Since it connects to my phone, my shopping list is always on me. Cuts down on forgotten items. It also will show reminders on my phone for when I am not home.
I definitely do not use Alexa to its full potential, this I can work on.
Get yourself an Amazon Echo show. I use it to run my entire schedule. It links to my calendar, but I mainly just yell it the reminders I want. "Alexa remind me at 2:30 to pick up L" Or "Alexa add milk to my shopping list". Since it connects to my phone, my shopping list is always on me. Cuts down on forgotten items. It also will show reminders on my phone for when I am not home.
I definitely do not use Alexa to its full potential, this I can work on.
It's weird at first but it truly saved my sanity this past year.
Find your biggest source of pain and throw money at the problem. For me, it was dinner. I hate to cook, DH is incompetent in the kitchen, but we need to be healthy. I now have a healthy meal service that delivers about 4 dinners/week. So worth it.
I got the kids their own hampers. On the weekends they do their own laundry - dump hamper into washer, move to dryer, put away.
Doggie daycare 3x/week because it wears the dog out and makes life easier.
Amazon subscribe and save for every recurring purchase - I make DH manage that. Online grocery and target orders, I hate going into stores, so inefficient. All meds on subscription delivery. Notice a pattern? 😂
If your kids are young enough for this, just have a set rule that they all do the same activities. I wish I would have implemented this when they are younger - but my friends who did this have said it make their life so much easier, just driving them all to one place (gymnastic, swim, etc) instead of diff activities for each kid.
Post by simpsongal on Sept 7, 2021 19:49:16 GMT -5
It’s a new season and dh and I are still getting used to the routine. At night and again in the morning we check in on the day’s schedule. Where the kids are and when, who is responsible for what task.
I’m a list writer too, it helps keep me on task.
ETA- we do like 5-6 dinners on the regular and just rotate, adding takeout when we’re too burned out to cook. Dh and I wfh and order wawa door dash a couple times per week for lunch. It’s inexpensive, keeps the kitchen clean and gives me time savings to work or do other house chores. Ds gets school lunch too.
Post by lizlemon19 on Sept 7, 2021 19:49:39 GMT -5
Disclaimer: also a hot mess
After dinner, put a timer on for 10 or 20 min (depending on kids ages and attention spans). Everyone picks up until the timer goes off. Some kids need a specific task (get all the dirty socks) or each one takes a room.
Put reminders on phone. I don’t have Alexa but use Siri.
I like my Skylight calendar. (digital, updates from phone).
I definitely do not use Alexa to its full potential, this I can work on.
It's weird at first but it truly saved my sanity this past year.
I do the same thing- tell Alexa my grocery list. I absolutely love it.
I would also consider buying a few meals from a meal prep company each week. Everything is already cooked and ready to go. Just microwave for a few minutes and a healthy dinner is done. I’ve even started having mine delivered to my house so that’s one less errand I have to run.
Post by chickadee77 on Sept 7, 2021 19:51:52 GMT -5
I second using Alexa for lists. I have a grocery list and others as needed (packing if we're traveling, reminders, etc.). So much easier for me to do this verbally. Like, I'm cooking and notice the garlic is running low - "Alexa, add garlic to grocery list!" aaand done.
Weekly meal planning and my crockpot save me when school and activities start back up. I use the crockpot at least twice during the school week, my husband cooks one night, I usually cook one night (in addition to the crockpot dumps haha) and we always order in on Fridays. Weekends are more what do we feel like unless we have a game around dinner time.
I'm not into using my calendar on my phone so I rely heavily on my paper planner. We also have both monthly and weekly whiteboard calendars on our fridge so the whole family can see an overview of the month and also see what's coming up that week. That is also life saving.
I pack lunches the night before. Kids get clothes ready night before.
My schedule at work is flexible in that I can throw laundry in and unload the dishwasher before I leave. My wfh (for now anyway) husband changes the laundry and does whatever else I ask him to squeeze in during the day.
I find I cannot sit down on the couch until I'm done with everything it I really won't get up.
I second using Alexa for lists. I have a grocery list and others as needed (packing if we're traveling, reminders, etc.). So much easier for me to do this verbally. Like, I'm cooking and notice the garlic is running low - "Alexa, add garlic to grocery list!" aaand done.
I even bought one for my bathroom bc I kept forgetting to add my toiletries to the list. I love taking a shower and just yelling out to add something to my grocery list. Done!
Post by iheartbanjos on Sept 7, 2021 20:09:58 GMT -5
H and I have a shared Apple Calendar, we send our laundry out, have dry cleaning delivered, have easy back up meals that are healthy if we don’t want to cook, and we lay out clothes the night before (though they wear uniforms).
I don't know what's up with me this year. My kids have been in school for years already but I just couldn't get my butt in gear to follow through on a lot of things this fall. I KNOW I've been dragging my feet. I think deep down I just hate to commit to having all of these activities again.
I did just buy a big white board to put up and write the daily activities/meals on, but I need to hang it up! LOL.
Meal planning is a huge help when I manage to do it.
I do the Alexa lists thing mentioned above, too. I have a Target list, a Costco list, and a generic "shopping" list for the regular grocery store.
I throw a lot of money at my problems: housekeeper and grocery delivery. I make a list on Sunday or Monday, order groceries for Monday delivery.
Friday is my WFH day and I get up an hour before I need to log in to collect/sort laundry and get that started. I switch loads throughout the day.
Every day after dinner one kid does dishes and the other wipes down the counters and table. This is the extent of the cleaning during the evening. I try to leave just 10 minutes in the morning before I leave to straighten up the living room.
Find your biggest source of pain and throw money at the problem.
This, to the extent you can. I am STRUGGLING with the new demands of life with a baby, and I had to first accept that I can't do it all right now and then decide what I care about doing myself vs what I just want done vs what can slide. For me right now that looks like doing childcare ourselves with FI rather than having someone watch our son, paying for a meal delivery service because I want fresh, healthy food but don't need to cook it ourselves to feel fulfilled, and letting the clean laundry sit in the hamper between housekeeper visits when she folds and puts away.
We have this magnet dry erase calendar on the fridge. Each person has a different color dry-erase marker, and all events that affect the family go on the calendar. Husband has a doctor appointment so I need to do pickup? Goes on the calendar. Kid needs to remember library books to return to school? Goes on the calendar.
This is great!! Need to find a wall version or just command strip it to the wall. Forgetting all the stuff happens a lot around here too.
I'll start with I'm a single mom and my kids are older (12 and 14). I have a paper wall calendar and do the same, each of us has a certain color pen that is used to keep track of their schedule (I also copy the calendar information on to my phone calendar).
Every Sunday I try to pack up lunch snacks into individual servings so the kids can grab what they want and pack their own lunch. I also freeze peanut butter and jelly sandwiches so they can just grab them and put it in their lunch bag.
I have also really simplified dinner, at the end of the day I am done and have no energy to cook. An air fryer has changed my life, I make a lot of air fried chicken, shrimp, salmon.
I second using Alexa for lists. I have a grocery list and others as needed (packing if we're traveling, reminders, etc.). So much easier for me to do this verbally. Like, I'm cooking and notice the garlic is running low - "Alexa, add garlic to grocery list!" aaand done.
I even bought one for my bathroom bc I kept forgetting to add my toiletries to the list. I love taking a shower and just yelling out to add something to my grocery list. Done!
We do the same thing, we have Alexas everywhere, including our laundry room, which took my son by surprise today. We don't have one in the bathroom yet, but I've often wished for one in there. I get after my kids every time they try to tell me we're out of something - tell it to Alexa!
I generally try to have a quick convo with DH on Sunday evenings with our Google calendar pulled up so we can talk about plans for the week - who's getting the kids to practice, what nights we can do dinner at home vs when we need to grab takeout. That quick check-in helps me wrap my mind around the week ahead and helps keep me sane.
I also really like the Tody app for housekeeping tasks. I just use it to keep myself on task, but you can assign chores to family members too. I don't assign tasks, but everyone here knows that I refuse to empty the dishwasher, vacuum or take out the trash. I do enough around here, there's no reason for me to do everything.
I also almost exclusively do drive-up for groceries or send DH to pickup store orders.
For food when I'm just scraping by I do a lot of Costco frozen/prepared items. Bagged salads, frozen marinated fish, frozen veggies, etc. It makes dinner either under 30 min, or sometimes it's an hour cook time but the work is only putting the item in the oven so super easy.
I do all clothing laundry in one day. When it is truly just 7 days of clothes it is only like three loads, so very manageable. Towels/sheets get done later in the week.
Here’s what seems to work for us: -share google calendar and connected to our echo show so it shows events for the day -prep the night before, down to laying out masks, etc -simple meals - I’m not fancy and my family’s palate is fussy, so easy meals it is
I need to go back to having someone clean. I don’t like doing it and I am terrible at making time for it. It’s the one place I don’t mind spending $ for my sanity.
Kids can do more than you think. Since they were 5,7 and 9 they’ve loaded and unloaded dishes, folded and put away their laundry (they each get a basket that I wash on Sundays). They pack their own lunches, fill up their snack bins, dust their rooms and wipe down their bathroom.
My now 12 and 10 year old are linked to their sports apps so they know what to wear and what time to be where. I could not keep answering the questions.
I keep a paper desk calendar on the wall for everyone to see. Again I cannot keep answering the questions
I have a list of meals that I want to make. I star the two I’m making net then cross them out. Everyone knows what we are eating but I’m not tied to a specific meal as life changes. I cook twice and then two nights of leftovers. My crockpot, batch cooking, and freezer meals save me here.
Sunday dinner is a rundown of the week ahead. I’m still a mess but this helps. I also give up a lot. I don’t care what my kids wear. I don’t care if the clothes are folded properly. I still clean the bathrooms after them.
Minimize after school activities. Kids get to pick one thing a week and/or a weekend.
I second using Alexa to help organize and plan.
Someone mentioned doing two loads of laundry a night. I could not imagine doing that much laundry in a week!
Same, my kid has more than enough clothes/masks to go at least 2 weeks before I feel like I need to do laundry. I prefer to bunch it all into a weekend and be done vs daily.
For me, the cost of clothes is worth the cost of my time and not doing laundry.