October check-in

[thedutchgirl]

How is it going for everyone?

Because I loved dove's idea to talk about something else, tell us if you have any trips planned for the next year or so, and to where?

[dove]

6 DPIUI #2. Sitting here 2WW-ing.

We have a 2 week trip planned to Maui last week of November/first week of December. We might have to cancel for unrelated reasons; we talked about it last night. But we need to figure it out quick!

[thedutchgirl]

I'll start. I went for my lining check today for the FET that was tentatively set for 10/11. My lining wasn't as thick as they'd like (6.8 and they want at least 8), and then the doctor later saw an cystic area on the ultrasound. As a result, she's cancelled this cycle.

Based on how things looked at my hysteroscopy back in April, she's also changing the protocol to a natural cycle FET. It is a ton more monitoring, but my lining was perfect in April, along with my labs. Since we have just one euploid embryo, she wants to give the best chance and thinks my body didn't like all the hormones. (I was on Lupron to suppress, plus estradiol patches.)

I have to trigger a period with two shots of PIO tonight, which is what I'm most worried about! My first ones, and my autoinjector hasn't arrived yet.

Oh yeah, trips! Nothing yet, although I really would love to get someplace tropical in the winter. Minnesota winters are long and cold!

[thedutchgirl]

dove, I hope you don't have to cancel! Fingers crossed for you in the 2WW!

[dove]

Oct 4, 2021 16:20:40 GMT -5 thedutchgirl said:

dove, I hope you don't have to cancel! Fingers crossed for you in the 2WW!

My husband needs to have surgery 😭
Trip will depend on whether it can be done laparoscopically since recovery time for that = 1 week-ish vs 6 weeks when done traditionally.
He has a consult tomorrow . Wish us luck!

[thedutchgirl]

dove, good luck! For his sake--and your trip--I hope it can be done by lap!

[wanderingback]

If my period doesn't come I'm going to test later this week.
My REI reviewed my partner's semen analysis and his motility was right below the cut off for normal (I think normal is 40 and his was 38 or 39, can't remember) and so he said that was fine. But my partner did make an appt with the fertility urologist when he comes back from Europe for a follow up. So that's happening later this month. It'll be interesting if the fertility urologist has any other recommendations.

Otherwise I have a feeling we're going to have to move on to IVF after 1 more round of clomid and timed sex, and I'm thinking I wouldn't want to start that until the new year. But we'll see.

As far as travel goes - I still feel like I'm in pandemic brain and can't plan anything more than a month or 2 in advance. So I don't know. My partner still hasn't seen his family from London in over 2 years, plus his mom died from covid, so I think that's a priority. I heard that restrictions for UK visitors to come to the US will be relaxed in Nov. So I think we'll prioritize seeing them somehow. Even before the pandemic I didn't plan things out more than 3-4 months, so I know next year is right around the corner, it just seems hard to plan for!

[dove]

wanderingback, man that’s tough. You all are going through a lot.
*gentle hugs*

[thedutchgirl]

wanderingback, I am totally with you on planning. I also don't plan too far in advance for travel, so far now we're holding waiting on our FET. I hope your partner gets to see his family in London really soon!

[shananasplit]

Our egg donor had her cycle. Our clinic had really messed up our billing and had an office staffer trying to charge me $13,000 instead of the $1800 I owed. She was really rude, and then threatened to cancel our cycle while it was literally 10 days in. Our contract was for six donor eggs, but I think they were so eager to calm us down after that, that they offered us the remaining 5 eggs at no additional cost. 8 fertilized with ICSI and we were ecstatic. We got a portal message on Day 5 saying that 5 made it to Day 5 and one more was close.

When I looked at the portal message more closely, it was really clear that either someone made a clerical error, or someone forgot to biopsy our embryos before freezing them. I made a bunch of phone calls and no one would call me back. I ended up having to take a phone call in the middle of my work day while my students were at recess.

They admitted that their senior embryologist had the lab orders to biopsy the embryos and forgot. FORGOT. They were like "Good news though, you have a Day 6 and we biopsied that!"

They offered to thaw, biopsy, and refreeze the five, but ultimately I don't trust these people at all anymore. We are in the process of waiting for our PGT-A results from the Day 6, and then we are moving the embryos to a local clinic to have them thawed, biopsied, and refrozen. We did a lot of soul searching on whether it was important to do the PGT-A, but ultimately, when I thought about not doing it, I had a severe panic attack.

At this point, we are up against deadlines for their winter shut down. I can't prep for a FET until my embryos get to the clinic, my CD1 is due next Thursday, and so we'll either be starting FET prep in a week to squeeze it in before they shut down for a month, or we'll start FET prep in January.

Ladies. The highs are high and the lows are low.

We're big Disney people. We're going for the Food and Wine Festival and all the fun Halloween stuff at the end of the month. My husband graduated nursing school in the spring, and I graduated with my masters, so it's been a big plan to go and celebrate those accomplishments. (And what better way to do that than a Scotch flight that's offered at 11am? ;-) )

[thedutchgirl]

shananasplit, what a mess! I cannot believe they FORGOT to biopsy them! But I'm glad they gave you extra!

For what it is worth, anecdotes and all that, we had a 20-year old donor our first attempt at making blasts, and got none. (Frozen eggs.) Second shot with 4 fresh eggs, we got 2 blasts. Donor is 21. And only one was euploid. So I'm 100% in favor of PGT-A. I would prefer to lose prior to transfer rather than after due to chromosome abnormalities.

I did start my FET medicated protocol on a quick timeline. I would do that in your shoes if you can! That way, if something doesn't go according to plan, you can do a different protocol after the shutdown or be on a second attempt.

[shananasplit]

thedutchgirl , We had zero blasts with our first donor as well! 11 frozen eggs and we ended up with nothing. Our second donor just did a fresh cycle, and it went so much better. I have had losses with euploid embryos, so I know that PGT-A isn't completely foolproof, but man, I just want to minimize our risks. And dude. If we wait until January and then have to do a second FET, I'm going to start losing my little marbles . I just feel the need to get moving <3

[turboteal]

shananasplit Damn that is a lot! Hope you are able to get a transfer in this year!

Cycle day 1, starting estrogen patches in the morning for an FET. My first time, I only did crinone twice a day for transfer/until grad from RE. Last time I did crinone and PIO every 3rd day, switched the every day when I was having bleeding issues but MC'd around 6/7 weeks. So this time they ate having me do crinone and PIO every day, they said they feel like they are seeing issues with crinone among more patients, like maybe something is wrong with the medications itself leading to less absorption/lower progesterone levels. That sucks because PIO shots every day for weeks will blow, but also I am am maybe hopeful that means better chance for success this time? Fingers crossed. We have 3 euploids this time, a 5CC and two 6CCs I think, so not the greatest looking bunch, but hoping for just one to work. Will transfer the day 5 for this cycle.

[thedutchgirl]

turboteal, good luck! Does your RE ever use endometrin? That's what I was supposed to use--3 times per day--plus PIO every other day.

shananasplit, what a coincidence! They make frozen donor eggs sound like a miracle, but clearly not. Our second 4 were fresh too, and a proven donor, with much better results. They were "free" because we didn't get embryos with the first donor. And totally agree on a second FET. Fingers crossed you start and are pregnant by the end of the year!

[wanderingback]

Pregnancy test negative.
But good news is it’s my birthday today so I can drink alcohol this evening at dinner with friends without worry

I’m trying to decide if want to do next month with clomid or just take a break as going to get ultrasounds is already annoying me, ha. And I know it won’t be any easier if we start ivf next year. Hmm. I feel like these kind of decisions my partner doesn’t have an opinion so I have to make it myself.

For those with partners who identify as men, how involved have they been in decision making? Just curious’

[wanderingback]

shananasplit, ugh so sorry about all the mistakes. I hope things are smooth sailing going forward.
turboteal, crossing fingers for you!

[shananasplit]

Oct 7, 2021 14:15:39 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Pregnancy test negative.
But good news is it’s my birthday today so I can drink alcohol this evening at dinner with friends without worry

I’m trying to decide if want to do next month with clomid or just take a break as going to get ultrasounds is already annoying me, ha. And I know it won’t be any easier if we start ivf next year. Hmm. I feel like these kind of decisions my partner doesn’t have an opinion so I have to make it myself.

For those with partners who identify as men, how involved have they been in decision making? Just curious’

Oh. Dear. Lord. We seem to be married to the same person. 

Two IVFs, two FETs, two donor cycles, and seven years later and my spouse is very "Whatever you want to do." Like. Yes. This is nice that you acknowledge this is primarily my body and me going to these appointments. But bro. BRO. Please have an opinion on SOMETHING. ANYTHING. Lolol.

Sorry for the negative test. I love you silver lining approach here--birthday drinks are always extra tasty <3 

[shananasplit]

Ahhhh!!! Just got the PGT-A report from the Day 6 that they did remember to biopsy. It's euploid and it's a male embryo! Waiting to hear from my new clinic. We actually might be able to squeeze this FET in before shut down! We have everything lined up for moving the embryos to our local clinic, so it's up to the courier service now whether we can squeeze this in!

[thedutchgirl]

shananasplit, that's great news!!

wanderingback, I'm sorry about the negative but I'm glad you know so you can celebrate. Happy Birthday!

My husband has been very involved in some things--deciding to do donor eggs, choosing donors, nearly all our regroup appointments with the doctor. Things that are more on me--meds I take, etc.--he generally wants to go with our doctor's recommendation. Because as far as we know my issues are only blocked tubes and age, and I didn't go to med school and I'm trying not to totally self-doctor too.

[shananasplit]

Oct 6, 2021 0:35:33 GMT -5 turboteal said:

shananasplit Damn that is a lot! Hope you are able to get a transfer in this year!

Cycle day 1, starting estrogen patches in the morning for an FET. My first time, I only did crinone twice a day for transfer/until grad from RE. Last time I did crinone and PIO every 3rd day, switched the every day when I was having bleeding issues but MC'd around 6/7 weeks. So this time they ate having me do crinone and PIO every day, they said they feel like they are seeing issues with crinone among more patients, like maybe something is wrong with the medications itself leading to less absorption/lower progesterone levels. That sucks because PIO shots every day for weeks will blow, but also I am am maybe hopeful that means better chance for success this time? Fingers crossed. We have 3 euploids this time, a 5CC and two 6CCs I think, so not the greatest looking bunch, but hoping for just one to work. Will transfer the day 5 for this cycle.

I was a little worried because our euploid embryo is 4BB, but several embryologists have reassured me that euploid status almost makes the grading irrelevant. 

My two previous FETs I did PIO, but this time around I'm doing crinone and PIO daily. He's sort of throwing the kitchen sink at this. The PIO isn't fun, but get a heating pad and a lacrosse ball to massage the area. It helps a whole lot <3 I hope it's your magic bullet for success <3

[wanderingback]

Oct 8, 2021 6:53:42 GMT -5 shananasplit said:

Oct 7, 2021 14:15:39 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Pregnancy test negative.
But good news is it’s my birthday today so I can drink alcohol this evening at dinner with friends without worry

I’m trying to decide if want to do next month with clomid or just take a break as going to get ultrasounds is already annoying me, ha. And I know it won’t be any easier if we start ivf next year. Hmm. I feel like these kind of decisions my partner doesn’t have an opinion so I have to make it myself.

For those with partners who identify as men, how involved have they been in decision making? Just curious’

Oh. Dear. Lord. We seem to be married to the same person. 

Two IVFs, two FETs, two donor cycles, and seven years later and my spouse is very "Whatever you want to do." Like. Yes. This is nice that you acknowledge this is primarily my body and me going to these appointments. But bro. BRO. Please have an opinion on SOMETHING. ANYTHING. Lolol.

Sorry for the negative test. I love you silver lining approach here--birthday drinks are always extra tasty <3 

Lol at bro. Exactly.

[dove]

Happy belated birthday, wanderingback! Sorry you had a negative, but on the bright side, pour the drinks!

To answer your question, MH and I had a discussion before we started treatment as to how far we felt comfortable going. Figured it was good to set our boundaries before we got overly emotionally about it. But mostly it was me saying my line is HERE and he supports me.

For me/us, we will stop at IUIs and will not be doing IVF. My body has been through hell with treatment for other medical issues.

My update - I am 10 DPIUI. RE says to test next Tuesday. We will try 1 more medicated IUI if this doesn’t work and stop treatment.

[doggielover]

Friday is my FET. For some reason the meds this transfer are just kicking my butt and the nausea is something I can't get used to. I've already started taking Vit B6 and bought some preggie pop's which are supposed to help but none of my other transfers kicked my butt like this. We're transfering our final 3 embryo's and if this doesn't work we'll then move onto donor eggs. I just don't think I can keep butting my body through this.

[wanderingback]

Plot twist…
I went for my US this am and blood work with plans to do clomid with IUI this time instead of timed sex.
My doctor just called and said my hcg is 35. So either an ectopic pregnancy (less likely) or chemical pregnancy.
So repeat hcg on Thurs.

In a weird way it’s kinda encouraging that it seems like at least sperm met egg at some point lol, so 1 hurdle crossed in this journey. It feels celebratory in a weird way!

I’m hoping my hcg is down to below 10 on Thurs so can just keep the process moving. Fingers crossed.

[shananasplit]

dove, I understand having to draw your line on how much you are willing to do.

doggielover, My last FET kicked my ass too. I would get home from work and just lay there on the couch in complete exhaustion. And I was so nauseous. The PIO or the estrogen or both just killed me. Fingers crossed for Friday for a sticky bean <3

wanderingback, FX that you can keep moving forward! I can absolutely get why it feels like a win!

[dove]

My IUI failed, I’m on CD2. *sigh*
This one needs to be it for us or we’re done.
This has been a really emotional time for me.

[barney96]

Dove- does your clinic offer to adopt embryos? Or another clinic in your area? Might be an option if IUI doesn't work since I know how hard egg retrieval is.

[katespade]

Oct 13, 2021 12:35:38 GMT -5 dove said:

My IUI failed, I’m on CD2. *sigh*
This one needs to be it for us or we’re done.
This has been a really emotional time for me.

I’m so sorry, dove. My H and I have had to have similar conversations about setting boundaries on treatment options due to my medical history/complexities. I really hope this cycle is the one for you.

[dove]

barney96 we will be done with any sort of attempt. This is the line we agreed to prior to starting treatment.
I have a history of brain tumors/cancer and we (me) just don’t feel comfortable perusing anything further after what my body has already been through and will continue to go through (monitoring for cancer).

[dove]

Oct 14, 2021 21:53:24 GMT -5 katespade said:

Oct 13, 2021 12:35:38 GMT -5 dove said:

My IUI failed, I’m on CD2. *sigh*
This one needs to be it for us or we’re done.
This has been a really emotional time for me.

I’m so sorry, dove . My H and I have had to have similar conversations about setting boundaries on treatment options due to my medical history/complexities. I really hope this cycle is the one for you.

Thank you. I appreciate the empathy and understanding