@ Randoms - April

[wawa]

trying monthly with this one.    

Has anybody ever challenged a class level grouping for their kid?  I feel like an asshole parent, but I'm really annoyed at the level of explanation we were given for why Shorti wasn't recommended for the GT math group, and apparently if we want to push it we have to send a formal letter with our own evidence. That feels like overkill!  I just want to understand why, and make sure they aren't missing information.  But there's no obvious way to just get more information without offering a formal challenge, and it's not even clear they'd give us a more complete explanation WITH a challenge and I feel like such an ass about it.  Her pre-covid standardized test scores would have put her in a that group, her remote and hybrid test scores DO NOT, and her most recent test scores do again.  So if they're looking at those scores when she wasn't in school....I have issues with that for a whole host of reasons. But if her actual math teachers were involved in this decision and it's based more on what they see in the classroom, then maybe it makes sense. I've gotten mixed answers asking around about how rigorous GT is at this level. And her current teacher is a long term sub, so she's no help at all.  It's not a big thing, but it's really freakin' annoying because I don't like any of my options.  I just escalated to emailing last year's math teacher (who is also the GT teacher) and the school VP after getting no response to my initial email asking for more information.

Underlying all this is the fact that we're just starting to figure out evaluating her for ADHD...and if she does have that (I do. dx'd SUPER late) then it explains a lot of the parts of math class she's struggled with (sticking with a problem to the end, STARTING a problem, boring memorization...) and I wouldn't want her to get bored or miss out on being challenged and learning more because she just needs some extra time or something for tests, or access to a timer, or some other simple accomodation but ALSO am not trying to stress out my 9 year old if she just shouldn't be in that class.  This would be so much easier if I could just have a simple conversation with whoever makes this decision and be comfortable with it on my end, but instead it's this fucking stiff process that forces me to feel like a pompous ass issuing a "formal request for revaluation" and I hate it. Even though I assume the reason it is this whole process is to avoid parents strongarming the school into making sure THEIR little snowflake is gifted. 

Pls tell me to either just let it go or that it's ok to want more info here?  

[wawa]

And for the other kid, sizzli has been on an absolute TEAR lately, a call from the principal, emails from his regular teacher AND his math teacher for a whole assortment of issues ranging from "needs lots of reminders to stay in his seat" to "was found crawling under stall doors in the bathroom."  

So.  that's fun too.  No idea where this is coming from all of a sudden.  he's always been one of the loud wiggly kids, but not usually this level.

[abs]

GT is so dependent on the school/district but I would let it go personally.

FWIW DD is not GT. Could she qualify? Maybe. I have no idea. I've never elected to have her tested because DD isn't interested. GT mostly means a pull out once a week and a big project. DD is very nope on that. That said she was placed into advanced math by 4th grade and has been given every opportunity that GT kids are. Test scores and teacher recommendation put her there. Only difference I see between advanced math and GT math is a less stressed kid. By junior high next year it will matter even less.

Again every school is different and I think it's fair to ask questions. Appealing a decision seems like a lot though.

[ssmjlm]

My kid was recommended in first, broke her leg, and was tested after missing 2 days due to a cast adjustment that had her in major pain. Shockingly, she didn’t make it, lolz.

I honestly don’t care. If she’s bored, then the teacher can recommend again or provide her something. The program isn’t great and requires disruption and busing to another elementary one day a week.

That said, her teacher this year is pretty terrible. I’m still waiting on a project grade from before interims that wasn’t on there. Just trying to get through SOLs (barf) and end of year.

[wawa]

Apr 8, 2022 11:04:04 GMT -5 abs said:

GT is so dependent on the school/district but I would let it go personally.

FWIW DD is not GT. Could she qualify? Maybe. I have no idea. I've never elected to have her tested because DD isn't interested. GT mostly means a pull out once a week and a big project. DD is very nope on that. That said she was placed into advanced math by 4th grade and has been given every opportunity that GT kids are. Test scores and teacher recommendation put her there. Only difference I see between advanced math and GT math is a less stressed kid. By junior high next year it will matter even less.

Again every school is different and I think it's fair to ask questions. Appealing a decision seems like a lot though.

yeah, this isn't a whole GT program, it's just math level placement. They don't get into that sort of program until I think, 5th?? ini our school. they have on-grade, above grade and starting in 4th, GT math.  she's been above grade, and was not recommended for GT.  The letter they sent implied that it was entirely score based, which...is kinda bullshit.  

So yeah, a formal "decision appeal" is the part where I'm getting tripped up.  Like...dude, it's not that important, but I do think it's silly to be looking at the nonsense test she took while sitting here next to me in my office having to listen to me on my conference calls and expect it to mean anything.

But after writing out all that whining and concern...another mom friend responded to a text I'd sent and had totally useful information, and then the school VP answered my email and now everything is totally ok.  the GT teacher will take a look at her info and make a recommendation, and the parent I talked to (who is on her third kid going through this) said that she totally trusts that teachers recommendation.  So I am now at peace. All is well once more.  Except for her little pain the rear end brother.

[StrawberryBlondie]

DD has her first sleepover this weekend. At my house.

I'm not sure how I feel about it.

[rupertpenny]

I think this is more of a cry for help than a random, but I need help.

My son, M (turned 4 in January), refuses to give up diapers. Potty training, in general, has been torture but I've tried to keep it low pressure because he is stubborn and I know different kids get there at different times. My patience is running out though. He has known when he needs to use the toilet for at least a year and communicates that when he feels like it, he just refuses to communicate most of the time. He can, and has, gone stretches where he wears underwear all day with minimal accidents. He also loses it whenever someone attempts to put him in underwear vs a pull-up and recently has been sneaking off to change from underwear into a pull-up at home. He has even changed his own pull-up before! He also absolutely refuses to set foot in public bathrooms, even family-style ones.

I just don't know what else to try. He starts pre-k in the fall and while this won't stop him from attending, I just can't imagine needing diaper changes at over 4.5 years old! Our school cut-offs are by calendar year so he is one of the oldest in his class too.

Does anyone have any advice or tips? Or even stories to reassure me that he won't go to college in pull-ups?

[scm1011]

rupertpenny , my DS was similar - nearly 4 and clearly understood the urge and when he needed to go but he looooved diapers. Refused to potty train. This probably isn't going to win me any mom of the year awards but one day I kind of lost it and was just like "ok, you're done. no more diapers/pull-ups. you can pee your pants all day everyday if you want but there will be no more diapers." First day he was hysterical and peed his pants a million times. Day 2 he begrudgingly gave in and and I can count on one hand how many accidents he's had since.

He still wears pull-ups to bed at 5 (but wakes up dry 80% of the time).

[bears]

wawa they should make the rules around qualifying really transparent. Do you think she would enjoy GT for math? My daughter qualified for GT for reading, but not math and I was actually kind of relieved. She is good at math but doesn't have much confidence in that subject and I'm afraid that too much challenge would ruin it for her.

[osulori]

wawa re: Sizzli-I forget what grade he's in but we went through a stint of that stuff with AJ (3rd grade) maybe 6 weeks ago? Not listening (worse than his usual), talking when he's not supposed to, general acting up in library, acting a fool during indoor recess, etc. Stuff that he KNOWS better. I had emails from the teacher, notes in his plan book, calls from the librarian and science teacher, he had a couple visits with the principal, all sorts of fun stuff. J and I were fed up because this was the first time he'd had issues enough to warrant calls/notes/emails home so naturally we're like "WTAF, kid?".

This may not work for everyone but what ultimately ended up getting the point through to AJ was a combo of grounding from his beloved Fortnite (and all devices in general), earning a small reward if he went a full week with no calls/emails/etc, and a LOT of talk about showing respect. We talked about why it's important to show respect to teachers/administrators and classmates as well as what that looks like for each group. He's needed a couple minor reminders here and there (generally due to slip ups in his Care After School program) but overall has been better, plus he's responding better when I tell him he's being disrespectful to me. Because good god can that kid argue.

Also, when I talked to the librarian she made a point to stress that this time of year is a super common time of year for teachers to see kids get extra squirrely and acting out. She's been doing this for years and has kids at AJ's school so it made me feel a little better that it wasn't just my kid

[rupertpenny]

scm1011 thank you, that makes me feel a lot better. We hid the pull-ups a few days ago so he can’t change himself. And he randomly told me tonight that he wanted to use the toilet at home but never at school. Progress?? 🤷🏻‍♀️

[scm1011]

Apr 8, 2022 18:46:36 GMT -5 rupertpenny said:

scm1011 thank you, that makes me feel a lot better. We hid the pull-ups a few days ago so he can’t change himself. And he randomly told me tonight that he wanted to use the toilet at home but never at school. Progress?? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Definitely sounds like progress!! I firmly believe my kid would still be wearing diapers at 5 if I hadn’t pushed the issue. It wasn’t a biological problem, it was a stubbornness / laziness problem.

[erbear]

Apr 8, 2022 13:44:57 GMT -5 rupertpenny said:

I think this is more of a cry for help than a random, but I need help.

My son, M (turned 4 in January), refuses to give up diapers. Potty training, in general, has been torture but I've tried to keep it low pressure because he is stubborn and I know different kids get there at different times. My patience is running out though. He has known when he needs to use the toilet for at least a year and communicates that when he feels like it, he just refuses to communicate most of the time. He can, and has, gone stretches where he wears underwear all day with minimal accidents. He also loses it whenever someone attempts to put him in underwear vs a pull-up and recently has been sneaking off to change from underwear into a pull-up at home. He has even changed his own pull-up before! He also absolutely refuses to set foot in public bathrooms, even family-style ones.

I just don't know what else to try. He starts pre-k in the fall and while this won't stop him from attending, I just can't imagine needing diaper changes at over 4.5 years old! Our school cut-offs are by calendar year so he is one of the oldest in his class too.

Does anyone have any advice or tips? Or even stories to reassure me that he won't go to college in pull-ups?

This might be mean but I’d remove all pull-ups from the house.

[statgirl]

rupertpenny We had to remove pull-ups from the house for my youngest. Both of mine night trained at the same time as day trained so that was not a complicating factor—if it is, removing pull-ups may not be an option. My youngest is very particular about clothing and had a “favorite” pull-up. It got hard to find those and he did not care for the others as much so I finally told him that we had the last box (and we did—unless I stalked Walmart’s inventory system and drove to various ones—I decided no more). He was sad but dealt with it. He is almost 7 and still refuses to use the school bathrooms unless necessary.

[af1212]

Apr 8, 2022 18:46:36 GMT -5 rupertpenny said:

scm1011 thank you, that makes me feel a lot better. We hid the pull-ups a few days ago so he can’t change himself. And he randomly told me tonight that he wanted to use the toilet at home but never at school. Progress?? 🤷🏻‍♀️

[br

I have a friend who ended up taking her son to a specialist at around 4.5 to 5 when he was still depending on pull-ups.

They set a number of pull-ups (like however many were left in the package) and then that was it. When they were gone they were gone and would not be buying more. I vaguely remember that they worked out the cost per pull-up and said they needed that money for other things now.

It gave him time to realize the end was coming but then no other option once it was time.

I forget all of the details but he is now 12 and in middle school and doesn’t wear pull-ups I know so it must have worked!

[Dznyprnces]

Apr 8, 2022 15:22:42 GMT -5 osulori said:

This is true! It happens every year, but this year seems to be worse. The last two weeks, since spring break, it’s like my class has lost their minds. I’ve never seen it this bad before, even kids who are normally well behaved and don’t usually have behavioral issues are caught up in it.

Don't know why my quote isn’t working, this is what I’m trying to reference:  “Also, when I talked to the librarian she made a point to stress that this time of year is a super common time of year for teachers to see kids get extra squirrely and acting out. She's been doing this for years and has kids at AJ's school so it made me feel a little better that it wasn't just my kid ”

[rupertpenny]

Thanks, everyone. He also woke up today and promptly put on underwear by himself.

I'm not ready to let go of nighttime pull-ups. He gets in bed with us almost every night and I really don't want to be peed on. Getting him to sleep in his own bed is a whole other issue.

[underwaterrhymes]

rupertpenny - do you think the issue with public bathrooms is the automatic flush? My kids haaaated those, so someone recommends bringing Post-it notes and putting one over the sensor. That helped a lot and we don’t need to do that anymore now they’re older.

[frlcb]

Apr 10, 2022 5:41:37 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

rupertpenny - do you think the issue with public bathrooms is the automatic flush? My kids haaaated those, so someone recommends bringing Post-it notes and putting one over the sensor. That helped a lot and we don’t need to do that anymore now they’re older.

You can also drape toilet paper over the sensor and it stops it. We went through this for a few years with my daughter too

[karinothing]

We are finally visiting my MIL. We haven't been here since 2018. AND ds2 threw up our first night here and woke up with 103 fever. Why?! This kid has not been sick since 2019? Maybe 2018? Bah

[eponinepontmercy]

DD insisted today that she was sick and needed to stay home. She might have a cold, but it sounds more like allergies, and if I kept her home every time she insisted she was sick, I'd end up homeschooling.

I'm sure she felt sort of yucky, but it's likely a combination of allergies, not enough sleep, being outside at a baseball game yesterday where it was pretty chilly, and a case of the Mondays. She didn't feel warm and I didn't hear her cough or sniffle at all.

I'm so over all the drama and complaining and whining. It's always something.

[eponinepontmercy]

Apr 10, 2022 18:45:14 GMT -5 karinothing said:

We are finally visiting my MIL. We haven't been here since 2018. AND ds2 threw up our first night here and woke up with 103 fever. Why?! This kid has not been sick since 2019? Maybe 2018? Bah

Oh no!  How is he feeling?  It's so hard to be sick when you aren't home.

[karinothing]

Apr 11, 2022 8:47:22 GMT -5 eponinepontmercy said:

Apr 10, 2022 18:45:14 GMT -5 karinothing said:

We are finally visiting my MIL. We haven't been here since 2018. AND ds2 threw up our first night here and woke up with 103 fever. Why?! This kid has not been sick since 2019? Maybe 2018? Bah

Oh no!  How is he feeling?  It's so hard to be sick when you aren't home.

Thanks for asking. He was sick all day yesterday but woke up fever free and full of energy today. So hopefully he is good and the rest of us don't get it.

[icedcoffee]

My 2 year old needs to be potty trained by September if I want to get him into a program this fall that would give me 3 hours to myself every Saturday. I can’t wrap my head around how to make this happen. He still seems so young but maybe it’s just because he’s my baby.

[StrawberryBlondie]

I just learned that a woman I graduated high school with has 3 grandchildren.

We're 41 years old.

This has made me examine that this is technically grandma-eligible age with no teen pregnancy situations involved and I'm not dealing with that information well.

[wawa]

Apr 13, 2022 12:26:53 GMT -5 StrawberryBlondie said:

I just learned that a woman I graduated high school with has 3 grandchildren.

We're 41 years old.

This has made me examine that this is technically grandma-eligible age with no teen pregnancy situations involved and I'm not dealing with that information well.

My mom and I were just reflecting on the fact that when she was my age she had a 23 year old, a 16 year old and an 11 year old.  
My brother didn't have his first kid until he was about to turn 30, but she was still only 45 when that happened.  (which that sounded so wrong to type that I had to go back and do the math two ways to double check that I'm not crazy).   No wonder she kept making faces about being called grandma. 

[pixy0stix]

Kiddo had his surgery (tonsil and adenoid removal) on Monday and is doing well. I still feel very stressed, and can't wait until he is fully healed.

[lilac05]

Apr 13, 2022 12:26:53 GMT -5 StrawberryBlondie said:

I just learned that a woman I graduated high school with has 3 grandchildren.

We're 41 years old.

This has made me examine that this is technically grandma-eligible age with no teen pregnancy situations involved and I'm not dealing with that information well.

I was volunteering at my 2nd grader’s school the other day and another volunteer asked me if I had kids or grandkids at the school. I laughed thinking that she thought I looked old enough to have grandkids…then realized that the several of my HS classmates already have school-age grandkids. How did this happen? Where did time go?

I think I need to go hang out at a retirement home to remind me that 41 is still young!

[5kcandlesinthewind]

Someone I went to high school with became a grandpa the same month my (only) kid was born. That was…a bit of a mindfuck. I understand how the the math works, but uh-uh. Do. Not. Want.

My kid has ANOTHER cold, wtf. We don’t go more than a week without someone (him) getting sick. At least it’s school vacation week so we don’t have to worry about him missing more school. We were supposed to go see my mom & brother & nephew today, but even if he could make it through the visit without overdoing it (unlikely), driving close to 4 hours round trip for him to get everyone sick seems like a nom-starter.

[georgeglass]

Apr 14, 2022 19:01:43 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

Kiddo had his surgery (tonsil and adenoid removal) on Monday and is doing well. I still feel very stressed, and can't wait until he is fully healed.

My son just had his wisdom teeth out and I have been 100% nervous nelly since. I keep googling post-op instructions and they all seem unclear and many give conflicting advice. He really wants to figure out when he can eat more food.