Week of April 18 Randoms

[eponinepontmercy]

On Friday, the dog was moving really slowly, and was just lethargic, which is very much not her.  We were a little worried, but then called the vet when she started shivering.

$472 and a traumatic blood draw for all of us (I had to help hold her, and it took two techs and a vet to actually get the blood), she got some sub-q fluids and a shot for nausea and was fine.  No idea what it was.  The bloodwork was clear and the vet couldn't see anything wrong.

The vet also commented that she was a completely different dog with me than with my husband - much calmer and less anxious.  She's the second person at the office to say that.  I think he's just nervous around her and she feeds off it.  

[hermione]

PSLF may shatter my soul. I got a letter saying I had not submitted various documentation. Spoiler alert, I had. When I called, they had no record of me at all. Finally got someone who found me and said they are just waiting on my newly consolidated loans to transfer over and it takes 2-3 months. I pointed out that it had been 5. Told me to give it another month. When I asked what I should do at that point if they still had not transferred, he had no answer.

I am just going to pay forever, right?

[rubytue]

eponinepontmercy, our previous dog has so many of those trips to the vet, where something if off but yet nothing. Such a dramatic princess. We were actually just commenting that our current dog is like the energizer bunny. We’ve had her going on 3 years and only 1 sick visit (for a uti). Our vet is going to think we left!

Current dog has completely different issues. Like cannot stand anything four legged. Which makes walking her a joy 🙄 Luckily, she is short and we can see over hills better. We know every escape route.

[gretchenindisguise]

Apr 18, 2022 9:03:09 GMT -5 hermione said:

PSLF may shatter my soul. I got a letter saying I had not submitted various documentation. Spoiler alert, I had. When I called, they had no record of me at all. Finally got someone who found me and said they are just waiting on my newly consolidated loans to transfer over and it takes 2-3 months. I pointed out that it had been 5. Told me to give it another month. When I asked what I should do at that point if they still had not transferred, he had no answer.

I am just going to pay forever, right?

File a formal complaint with the FSA Ombudsman.


Log into studentaid.gov. Once logged in along the top righthand side is a button to "submit a complaint." Fill out the form. You'll get an auto-response email with a case #. Wait 2 weeks, if they haven't responded, you can call the escalated line at FedLoans; which is [phone]. They won’t deal with you unless you have an open case with the Ombudsman. The escalated department at FedLoans is [e-mail] and if the Federal Ombudsman contact doesn't provide assistance, an email address is: [e-mail]  

[formerlyak]

Apr 18, 2022 11:37:45 GMT -5 jeaniebueller said:

I had an endo ablation last month and when i was going in, several of the nurses told me how great theirs was and how their periods disappeared. Welp, guess whose period started and has most decidedly not disappeared? Its lighter than before, buuuut the before was really really bad. Its probably like a regular period, which i was not expecting :/ I shouldn't complain and i know the procedure was relatively recent so things may change, but i really hoped i would be one of the few that didn't bleed at all.

And I have a non covid cold that is lingering and just will not go away and my sleep has been awful the last week. 

I had one 4 years ago and the first month or so were like you describe. After that, I’ve had nothing. So don’t give up hope quite yet.

[rubytue]

iOS updated on my iPad last night. I’m annoyed by little nuance differences. Like, my app icons moved around. I think there are more on a page now? And there is more boarder around them. But things moved. And muscle memory told me where to tap, but it’s wrong now.

Also, every thread here had a little selection box in front of it now. If this related? So weird. I don’t what to select all threads here. What does it do?!

[Jalapeñomel]

Apr 18, 2022 11:51:21 GMT -5 rubytue said:

iOS updated on my iPad last night. I’m annoyed by little nuance differences. Like, my app icons moved around. I think there are more on a page now? And there is more boarder around them. But things moved. And muscle memory told me where to tap, but it’s wrong now.

Also, every thread here had a little selection box in front of it now. If this related? So weird. I don’t what to select all threads here. What does it do?!

I updated but mine looks exactly the same. The only thing mine does now is do face recognition with a mask.

[ssmjlm]

Apr 18, 2022 11:37:45 GMT -5 jeaniebueller said:

I had an endo ablation last month and when i was going in, several of the nurses told me how great theirs was and how their periods disappeared. Welp, guess whose period started and has most decidedly not disappeared? Its lighter than before, buuuut the before was really really bad. Its probably like a regular period, which i was not expecting :/ I shouldn't complain and i know the procedure was relatively recent so things may change, but i really hoped i would be one of the few that didn't bleed at all.

And I have a non covid cold that is lingering and just will not go away and my sleep has been awful the last week. 

Oh no, I have a consult for mine next Monday and I've heard mixed reviews.  I probably can't schedule it until August (if insurance will cover, my ultrasound was "normal") due to other trips coming up.

[ssmjlm]

It's performance appraisal time and I'm nervous. My new boss is very different than my old one, so I would not be surprised if she rates me down.

But I applied for 2 jobs this morning, so, hoping I get referred!

[hermione]

Apr 18, 2022 11:29:00 GMT -5 gretchenindisguise said:

Apr 18, 2022 9:03:09 GMT -5 hermione said:

PSLF may shatter my soul. I got a letter saying I had not submitted various documentation. Spoiler alert, I had. When I called, they had no record of me at all. Finally got someone who found me and said they are just waiting on my newly consolidated loans to transfer over and it takes 2-3 months. I pointed out that it had been 5. Told me to give it another month. When I asked what I should do at that point if they still had not transferred, he had no answer.

I am just going to pay forever, right?

File a formal complaint with the FSA Ombudsman.


Log into studentaid.gov. Once logged in along the top righthand side is a button to "submit a complaint." Fill out the form. You'll get an auto-response email with a case #. Wait 2 weeks, if they haven't responded, you can call the escalated line at FedLoans; which is [phone]. They won’t deal with you unless you have an open case with the Ombudsman. The escalated department at FedLoans is [e-mail] and if the Federal Ombudsman contact doesn't provide assistance, an email address is: [e-mail]  

Thank you!

[rubytue]

Apr 18, 2022 11:37:45 GMT -5 jeaniebueller said:

I had an endo ablation last month and when i was going in, several of the nurses told me how great theirs was and how their periods disappeared. Welp, guess whose period started and has most decidedly not disappeared? Its lighter than before, buuuut the before was really really bad. Its probably like a regular period, which i was not expecting :/ I shouldn't complain and i know the procedure was relatively recent so things may change, but i really hoped i would be one of the few that didn't bleed at all.

I so feel this. Mine was October 2020. At my last appointment (Feb) I was saying almost exactly this. “You all probably think it’s fine, because it’s probably what a normal period is like. So it is quantifiably  better than before. But dammit… I’m 47. I wanted to be done!” FWIW, this was not the gyn who did it (I’m with gyn oncology right now, because my body hates me), but she did say to bring it up when I go back to regular gyn. Next year. 

[rubytue]

Apr 18, 2022 12:11:17 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Apr 18, 2022 11:51:21 GMT -5 rubytue said:

iOS updated on my iPad last night. I’m annoyed by little nuance differences. Like, my app icons moved around. I think there are more on a page now? And there is more boarder around them. But things moved. And muscle memory told me where to tap, but it’s wrong now.

Also, every thread here had a little selection box in front of it now. If this related? So weird. I don’t what to select all threads here. What does it do?!

I updated but mine looks exactly the same. The only thing mine does now is do face recognition with a mask.

Ugh. I could have been a few updates behind. But still, annoying. Like, I know FB messaged was end of row 2 yesterday, and now it’s middle of row 3.

[eponinepontmercy]

DH found FOUR WASP NESTS on our very small deck. A guy from Orkin came out today and said that three of them aren't active, and he sprayed the other one. He didn't charge us, which was super nice. DH gave him $20 or so for his trouble, but it was great to not pay $300 for a 5 minute visit.

Again - FOUR WASP NESTS on our maybe 8x4 deck. That's too many wasps.

[hermione]

Apr 18, 2022 13:54:49 GMT -5 eponinepontmercy said:

DH found FOUR WASP NESTS on our very small deck. A guy from Orkin came out today and said that three of them aren't active, and he sprayed the other one. He didn't charge us, which was super nice. DH gave him $20 or so for his trouble, but it was great to not pay $300 for a 5 minute visit.

Again - FOUR WASP NESTS on our maybe 8x4 deck. That's too many wasps.

I'm sorry you have to burn your deck down. 

[lemoncupcake]

Apr 18, 2022 13:54:49 GMT -5 eponinepontmercy said:

DH found FOUR WASP NESTS on our very small deck. A guy from Orkin came out today and said that three of them aren't active, and he sprayed the other one. He didn't charge us, which was super nice. DH gave him $20 or so for his trouble, but it was great to not pay $300 for a 5 minute visit.

Again - FOUR WASP NESTS on our maybe 8x4 deck. That's too many wasps.

Maybe I live in wasp central, but that’s not something I would panic about or pay a professional to deal with. Just get a can of wasp spray - it shoots really far out so you don’t need to be close at all.

[picksthemusic]

DH had a physical recently and his fasting glucose was high. They did a follow up A1c and it was 7.0. He wants to work on things and exercise and eat better, and hopefully lower things and he's hoping to reverse it. I'm trying to not let my medical side take over and just be a supportive wife. It's tough though, because most of our patients that I work with are diabetics, and I help them all day long, so I know a lot and can give him lots of info. I tried telling him he might want to prepare for a diagnosis of diabetes, but he almost put his fingers in his ears and said 'lalalala'. I'm trying to be patient too, and know that this is something we can figure out and handle together. It's just not something you want to have your spouse go through.

[rubytue]

Apr 18, 2022 12:11:17 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Apr 18, 2022 11:51:21 GMT -5 rubytue said:

iOS updated on my iPad last night. I’m annoyed by little nuance differences. Like, my app icons moved around. I think there are more on a page now? And there is more boarder around them. But things moved. And muscle memory told me where to tap, but it’s wrong now.

Also, every thread here had a little selection box in front of it now. If this related? So weird. I don’t what to select all threads here. What does it do?!

I updated but mine looks exactly the same. The only thing mine does now is do face recognition with a mask.

I got to the bottom of part of it. It added Magnifier. And put it in a random spot in row 2. So it knocked everything around. Maybe the wider boarder around things is in my head. 

[mbcdefg]

I haven’t worked in an office since mid-2019. I have a couple conferences coming up and I have absolutely no idea how to dress myself so I don’t look like a schlubby mess.

[SwimDeep]

TW: Eating/diet talk

I should state up front that H knows I have a diagnosed eating disorder. And I'm not posting this to bash him in any way.

H has a thing with friends coming up that he wants to lose weight for. He's also uncomfortable at his current weight and just wants to feel better. Unfortunately, he's so entrenched in diet culture he doesn't even realize what he's doing is classic restriction. I wouldn't call it severe, but it's enough to have an effect on me. To him, though, he's just "on a diet."

I'm struggling with being supportive of his desire to lose weight and also have patience when he snaps at me in hanger and also try to gently suggest he stop beating himself up.

But I realized this morning eating my breakfast that I'm backsliding on my own work. All the disordered thoughts are back and I'm drifting into restriction myself.

I want him to go see an RD because maybe he'll take their word over mine when I say he's not eating enough during the day (I'm estimating he's under 2000 calories, and he works out every day). I also want to tell him bluntly that his relationship with food is fucked up and his disordered thinking about it is impacting me. But I'll probably just continue to remind him that I love him no matter what and that food is amoral and what he eats is not a reflection of his character. Because being blunt has never been productive in the past.

This is hard. And I'm sad 😔

He complimented me over the weekend on how I've decreased my portion sizes at dinner. And my initial reaction was happiness that he noticed and pride in my willpower. And then I was like... fuck...

[ssmjlm]

Our 6 year old HVAC downstairs unit is totally broken. He's limping us along, but we were completely out of freon. 6 years!!! We're the only owners.

Now we decide if we repair or replace.

Of course, because I just spent $$$$ on DH's new truck Saturday.

[eponinepontmercy]

Apr 18, 2022 14:59:26 GMT -5 lemoncupcake said:

Apr 18, 2022 13:54:49 GMT -5 eponinepontmercy said:

DH found FOUR WASP NESTS on our very small deck. A guy from Orkin came out today and said that three of them aren't active, and he sprayed the other one. He didn't charge us, which was super nice. DH gave him $20 or so for his trouble, but it was great to not pay $300 for a 5 minute visit.

Again - FOUR WASP NESTS on our maybe 8x4 deck. That's too many wasps.

Maybe I live in wasp central, but that’s not something I would panic about or pay a professional to deal with. Just get a can of wasp spray - it shoots really far out so you don’t need to be close at all.

You are brave. 

We'll pick up some wasp spray for future use.  It was worth our piece of mind to find out that most of the nests were inactive - DH is a big baby.

[eponinepontmercy]

SwimDeep, I'm so sorry that's happening. Does he know the impact his behavior is having on you?

[SwimDeep]

Apr 19, 2022 9:49:20 GMT -5 eponinepontmercy said:

SwimDeep, I'm so sorry that's happening. Does he know the impact his behavior is having on you?

he doesn't have a clue. Which is on me because I haven't communicated it to him. But it's really hard to talk to him about it because it tends to devolve into arguments. We're not really arguing, but we're talking about food/diets from very different perspectives and with very different goals. Finding neutral, middle ground feels impossible right now.

[YeahSure]

My 83 year old dad was in the hospital for a month at the beginning of the year and has been extremely fragile since. He keeps breaking vertebrae for no apparent reason. He was terrified in the hospital and there was a COVID outbreak so we couldn't visit. The worst thing I've ever experienced is being on the phone with my dad who's crying and telling me he's scared. And I couldn't do a damned thing. A couple of weeks ago they found he has a lymphoma and he and step-mom are happy about it because the treatment also helps osteoporosis?

Yesterday he went to the hospital again and he and my step-mom have decided he needs to go to a skilled nursing facility for a "month or two". They're moving him there today. I'm terrified he'll never get out and that he will die alone and scared.

[mrsukyankee]

SwimDeep , would he be willing to talk to a therapist along with you? Because it sounds like you need support with this from an outsider.

Celebrating someone with an ED eating less is never good and it's hard to understand why he'd even consider that to be appropriate.

[bronxgirl]

Hugs, SwimDeep. That sounds really difficult.

[erbear]

This truly is random.

My work bff has been wanting to move into admin for years and he’s not been successful in finding a job. It’s been baffling to me - he has tons of experience and is really really good at his job. He applied to an internal position this week that I’m on the search committee for and holy hell — his resume sucks. He does not show off his experience and training at all. He’ll get an interview bc he’s an internal candidate but jeeeez….no wonder he’s in this boat. I’m bummed I didn’t ask him before to show me his resume (obvs I don’t want him to leave but yikes).

[erbear]

SwimDeep, I’m sorry. That sounds awful and I think I would say something to him. Surely he’d change how he’s approaching all this if he knew how it was impacting you too.

[SwimDeep]

Apr 19, 2022 12:22:09 GMT -5 mrsukyankee said:

SwimDeep , would he be willing to talk to a therapist along with you? Because it sounds like you need support with this from an outsider.

Celebrating someone with an ED eating less is never good and it's hard to understand why he'd even consider that to be appropriate.

I don't think it occurs to him that it's dangerous or inappropriate. Even when I was in a really dark place I never let him see how bad it got. Honestly, I still feel so much shame over it, it's very difficult for me to be vulnerable. I can't blame him for his actions/words when I've never even given him a chance to know my struggle.

I think I need therapy by myself first. Well, I know I need it... for many reasons.

[SwimDeep]

Apr 19, 2022 18:55:34 GMT -5 erbear said:

SwimDeep, I’m sorry. That sounds awful and I think I would say something to him. Surely he’d change how he’s approaching all this if he knew how it was impacting you too.

he absolutely would... but like I told mrsukyankee, the shame I feel over it makes it hard for me to be vulnerable about it. Maybe I'll write a letter and read it to him... put a buffer between my emotions and what I need to say?

I know I need to ask for his help, but I hate asking for help (from anyone). So, shame and pride are my holdups I guess.