Support - June

[Queen Dick, Hibernating Bear]

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[mysteriouswife]

ML’s one trick pony signing in. H’s cousin died this morning. The are expecting the services will be in Saturday. If this is true H and I will have to divide out time. Now I’m not sure what to do with my kids. Our plan was for them to come for the family meal and leave for the service for my uncle. 🥴

[circa1978]

OK, well, it's been a while since I updated about my dad (metastatic prostate/bone cancer). On the upside is PSA has dropped to 88. OTOH, it's supposed to be 0 given that he doesn't have a prostate. The chemo is helping (he's had six treatments) and the fact that he feels BETTER on chemo to me says how awful he was feeling to begin with. If his PSA stabilizes, we're going to try Provenge.

So that's the good.

The bad is he's started to develop blood clots. A blood clot after his prostate cancer turned to bone cancer is what killed my grandfather so that's been pretty triggering. He's on Eliquis now.  I'm pretty sure if you just saw him on the street you wouldn't notice a difference between November and now but every once and a while it's like, OMG, yeah, he's really sick. And my mom is a mess because my uncle's (her sister's H) funeral is next week (he died 18 months ago) and I think she can't divorce the two concepts. They'll both have military honors, will be buried in the same place. It's going to be hard.

[mcmel]

I’m so sorry mysteriouswife and circa1978 😞

[snipsnsnails]

I hope it’s ok to post here. 😔 My youngest-she is 6.5 years old-her best friend in the whole world died 3 weeks ago. She died suddenly and tragically. Her family escaped and was not able to save her from a house fire. Her older brother is my 9 year old’s best friend. Her parents are people we live our day-to-day lives with. We spend at least an hour together after school while the kids play together. We’ve gone on vacation together. We go out to eat, go to the park, the pool, our homes, exploring, everywhere. We love them so very much.

We are overwhelmed with grief. My little girl wakes up most mornings with tears streaming down her face. She doesn’t want to leave the house some days. There are so many places where her best friend’s absence is palpable. She goes from sad to mad to happy to silly and back again. We are all seeing counselors. And spending time with our friends who are so very heartbroken.

We are weary with grief. I’m trying to move us into a routine-getting us ready for school, trying to cook, returning texts and calls, the basics. But I feel underwater. My husband is carrying us all, I think.

Has anyone had a best friend pass as a child? Or had your child’s best friend pass away? My daughter spent hours a day with her best friend. My daughter is thoughtful and introspective and reserved by nature-this has been her best friend-and, really, one of her only friends-for years. 😔

[mysteriouswife]

Oh snipsandsnails. I am sorry your family has had such a tragic loss. I have no advice. I hope therapy helps your little one and the rest of your family.

[snipsnsnails]

Thank you, mysteriouswife. I underestimated the sheer physical and mental load of grief, let alone the emotional weight of it. I’m sorry you have suffered, too. ((Hugs))

[mysteriouswife]

The physical toll is astonishing. I never realized how physically exhausting it could be until I lost my mom. With the loss of Curtis and pregnancies I assumed it was my body healing. Grief is a whole body experience. Can you take time off as a family and just rest and attempt to reset?

[mcmel]

Oh snipsnsnails that is absolutely tragic. I’m so, so sorry.

[TR]

Oh snipsnsnails, how awful. I'm sorry that you're navigating your own grief while being a comfort to your friends. You've always been such a thoughtful and caring poster here, I can imagine that's the same in real life.

[underwaterrhymes]

snipsnsnails I’m so terribly sorry. I don’t have any insight or wisdom to offer, but I’m sending so much love your way.

[heygrey]

snipsnsnails, I am so very sorry for your loss. I don't have any experience to share, but I can understand how overwhelming it would be to navigate your own grief and support your close friends and your daughter.

[longtimenopost]

I'm so sorry, snipsnsnails. I had a very good friend die when I was 7 years old very quickly and unexpectedly from meningitis. Like, she felt sick one day and died 2 days later. We weren't quite as close as it sounds like your daughter and her friend were, but it was very hard. I remember I was the last friend she played with before she died, and later her parents wanted to know all the details like what we talked about. She was also the first deceased person I ever saw and the memory is burned into my brain. Her parents buried her in her favorite outfit, jeans and a white t-shirt with holographic 'Guess' print on it (it was 1993).

I am also sending you a pm.

[bcv513]

I'm so sorry snipsnsnails, that is absolutely horrific.

[mountaingirl]

snipsnsnails how awful for everyone.

My 35 year old sister dropped dead at work yesterday. They think an aneurysm. I just can’t believe it. I’m so heartbroken. She is in CO. I’m in NY. I just want to see her. She is an organ donor so is still on life support but she is gone. My mom was able to be at the hospital last night and said she can tell she is gone and was at peace. She has an almost 5 and almost2 year old. My heart is breaking for her sweet babies.
She was active duty military and was set to get out in August. I’m so mad she was not able to be out sooner to spend time with her boys.
I’m not on here much but have been here since 2005. I just needed to get this out

[lostrn]

Jun 8, 2022 22:21:46 GMT -5 mountaingirl said:

snipsnsnails how awful for everyone.

I'm so sorry, that is tragic 💔

[suzubell]

Oh mountaingirl, that’s horrific. I’m so sorry.

[Leeham Rimes]

snipsnsnails, I’m so sorry. While I don’t have this specific experience our nephew died tragically when he was 12 and—this isn’t really advice or anything —-but there’s not a lot you can “do” for your kids. The family just has to go through the pain, acknowledge and work through it, with each other and with counselors. it’s going to be a roller coaster for a while but it will level out so there’s not that gut wrenching pain every day. You’re doing everything “right” even if it doesn’t feel like it. I’m really so sorry.

[Leeham Rimes]

mountaingirl, that’s terrible. I’m so sorry, how awful for your family and her children.

[winecat]

Sending love to all who are suffering.

[TR]

Oh mountaingirl, I'm so sorry. It's so terrible to lose someone so suddenly. My heart goes out to you.

[tarzanswife]

snipsnsnails, mountaingirl, I am so very sorry for both of your losses. Sending both of you love during this time.

[Deleted]

I am so sorry for every one who is hurting.

I just realized that Father's Day is this weekend. I had completely lost track of it, or maybe I was just avoiding thinking about it. I know I still have a lot of "first" Holidays ahead of me, but this is a pretty crap one to have to start out with, and then his birthday is in 2 weeks. I'm struggling with what to do. Do I stay in a dark room and cry? Do I go out and celebrate his life? It's all so overwhelming.

[simpsongal]

Jun 17, 2022 12:34:12 GMT -5 @sameoldstory said:

I am so sorry for every one who is hurting.

I just realized that Father's Day is this weekend. I had completely lost track of it, or maybe I was just avoiding thinking about it. I know I still have a lot of "first" Holidays ahead of me, but this is a pretty crap one to have to start out with, and then his birthday is in 2 weeks. I'm struggling with what to do. Do I stay in a dark room and cry? Do I go out and celebrate his life? It's all so overwhelming.

im sorry. Last year I had all the firsts. I think it’s nice to mark the birthday in some way. Maybe with his favorite food, movie, etc. dh took the kids to church so I could be alone. I just need some time to grieve on the second Father’s Day without my dad. I’m so sorry.

[mysteriouswife]

My cousin and I shared a 15 min hug of full blown ugly crying wanting our moms on Sat. It was the cry I needed to move past the weekend. Celebrations are hard without my mom and aunt. They were the staples that held everything together. First ones there last ones to leave. It is noticed they are gone. It doesn’t help when our dads suck at life and parenting. My dad showed up for 15 min and left. Her dad didn’t even bother. I would have expected my dad to stay longer for DS’ birthday. It’s been 4 years for both of them. They died 6 months apart. My moms birthday is Wed. too.

[mofongo]

Hugs to all!

[mcmel]

So much love to everyone here.

I’m just in disbelief. I can’t seem to fully understand he’s gone and gone forever. My mind can’t fathom it.

[letsgetweird]

I have a lot of memories popping up from 1 year ago on social media. Last year at this time, I was happy and carefree and had no clue my life would turned upside by my sister in law's death in July.

July 4 was the last time I saw her. I cannot comprehend how or why this happened.

[spindle92]

My father was rushed to the hospital via ambulance on Thursday AM with difficulty breathing and severe chest pains.
While you would think it was a heart attack, his heart looked ok.
The left lung looks cloudy and they are treating it as pneumonia.
They cannot get these chest pains/spasms under control.

This AM his heart rate rose enough for them to be concerned.
He has been moved to the cardiac floor now to try and bring his heart rate down.

Because of covid, the hospital is only allowing 2 people per day to be with him and you cannot tag team off and on those two people. So it has been me and my mom this entire time.

My dad is 82 and my mom is 80.
While the hospital is taking care of my dad, I am trying to make sure my mom eats, drinks and sleeps while we are here.

Not gonna lie, I am tired but I am mostly concerned about my dad.
My parents mean everything to me and while I know they will not live forever, I'm not ready to lose either of them yet.

[mysteriouswife]

Hugs everyone.