I took 6 yo dd to a cheer clinic earlier this summer and she loved it, so we signed her up. Practice two nights/week, cheer at games on Saturdays. She started practicing at the beginning of August, loved it at first. Now she wants to quit. I just tried to take her to practice and she was crying “don’t make me stay” and clinging to my legs. I brought her home because I didn’t know what to do. Do I make her see the season through? Or let her quit?
Tough one. At 6 I’d be inclined to let her quit because that is a lot and they don’t realize what they are signing up for. Is there something about it she doesn’t like that you can help with? Generally I don’t let DD quit team sports because it messes up the team for everyone else but again at 6 it may not matter. How many more weeks do you have left? Would her nit being there affect numbers for end of year competition?
Tough one. At 6 I’d be inclined to let her quit because that is a lot and they don’t realize what they are signing up for. Is there something about it she doesn’t like that you can help with? Generally I don’t let DD quit team sports because it messes up the team for everyone else but again at 6 it may not matter. How many more weeks do you have left? Would her nit being there affect numbers for end of year competition?
Good questions. The football season hasn’t even started, so we’re looking at like 2 more months. I’ll have to ask about competition.
Post by wanderingback on Sept 8, 2022 17:46:01 GMT -5
At 6 years old I don’t see the benefit of forcing her to continue. I would see if she wanted to give it 1 more practice before quitting.
I guess if it became a pattern that she begged to do something then quit 1 week in wanted to quit and was crying about it I’d try to get to the root cause of what was going on and re-evaluate.
Sounds like a good time to quit. I’m generally “see it through to the end” parent but at 6 she may not have really understood what she was signing on for.
Tough one. At 6 I’d be inclined to let her quit because that is a lot and they don’t realize what they are signing up for. Is there something about it she doesn’t like that you can help with? Generally I don’t let DD quit team sports because it messes up the team for everyone else but again at 6 it may not matter. How many more weeks do you have left? Would her nit being there affect numbers for end of year competition?
Good questions. The football season hasn’t even started, so we’re looking at like 2 more months. I’ll have to ask about competition.
Ok if football season hasn’t even started yet I’d give it one more try and then quit if still isn’t going well. 6 is just too young to really commit IMO.
Post by mccallister84 on Sept 8, 2022 18:05:32 GMT -5
Did school just start? My kindergartener had soccer tonight and it was a complete disaster. But she has enjoyed soccer until tonight and I figure she’s just a mess because of school starting and re adjusting. If so, I’d try to stick it out a few more weeks - maybe letting her miss a practice or two before making any official decisions.
Before I let her quit I’d really try to figure out why she doesn’t want to do it anymore. Is she tired from school starting? Feeling rushed at night? Mean kids? Not following what she’s supposed to do? Other? Maybe it’s a relatively easy fix to get back to her previous level of enjoyment.
This is tough. If I had paid, and they said they wanted to do it, typically I would make them stick it out to the end of the session. However, I don’t think I would’ve signed a six year old up for something that involves two nights of practice and also Saturday…that’s a lot. And it’s a long season of being totally miserable if you really think she’s going to keep hating it. One night of clinging and crying wouldn’t be enough for me to throw in the towel quite yet, unless there’s some kind of deadline where you could still get some of your money back or something.
(ETA: short version is yes, I would let her quit, But I wouldn’t do it quite yet just to make sure this wasn’t a fluke and she wasn’t just tired.)
I don’t know much about cheerleading, but would the rest of the kids on the team be at any disadvantage if she quits? Like in some team sports, the team has to forfeit games if not enough kids show up, but I think that isn’t a thing for 6-year-old cheerleading? I would let her quit.
I let my DD quit t-ball around that age. Maybe 5. But if it’s taking up my time and she’s making everyone miserable, why bother? She probably won’t remember and if she does, then remind her the next time she wants to do something about this and try to get her to understand the commitment.
Post by InBetweenDays on Sept 8, 2022 18:22:58 GMT -5
I would not make her see it through at 6 years old. I don't think she'd get the lesson at that age.
When do games start? You could ask her if she wanted to continue until she got to cheer at her first game to see if that makes it more fun? But if she is dead set on quitting I'd let her.
I'd probably see if she can stick it out a little longer and see if it was just a fluke. If the misery continues into a few more pracrices, then i would let her quit.
At 6yo, with that and adding in full day of school, she likely didnt realize what she was getting into. I'm a parent that makes my kids stick it out but at that age, if it's too much, I would not continue for 2 more months like that. When they are older, other kids are counting on them, so they need to stick.
FWIW...she may be fine by next week and just be having a hard time adjusting. My kids always pushed through after a bad day or 2.
I have a giant bag full of expensive as hell karate sparring gear only used once collecting dust in a closet that says you can quit. 😬
lol me, too. Martial arts is a freaking racket. DD was so excited about it at 7 and quickly decided it was way too much. It was miserable for me, too, so heck yes we quit. And ate 6 months of fees. No regrets but yeah I still have the equipment.
Apparently we’re the odd folks out here. I make them agree before signing up that they’ll see it through for at least what I’ve paid for.
DD went through a phase where she hated ice skating.. she had to finish off the season before we’d let her quit. That was.. 3 years ago? She’s still going strong.
Now obviously if there were something nefarious going on, it would be another story. But unless that’s in play, my kids will continue through their commitments.
I have a giant bag full of expensive as hell karate sparring gear only used once collecting dust in a closet that says you can quit. 😬
lol me, too. Martial arts is a freaking racket. DD was so excited about it at 7 and quickly decided it was way too much. It was miserable for me, too, so heck yes we quit. And ate 6 months of fees. No regrets but yeah I still have the equipment.
DS1 is doing Taekwondo. He didn't want to go today and I was like "we just signed you up and I asked you about this! You're going!" It was so much freaking money to register him and the monthly fee is stupid. Thankfully he seems to really enjoy it when he's there, but he's definitely not a sports kind of kid, so I think he just doesn't enjoy the concept of going anywhere to do... anything. lol I am making him stick with it for six months to level out the cost of the registration fee. If he's really over it by then, I'll let him quit.
Thankfully I haven't bought any gear yet and definitely won't unless he really gets into it.
Anyway, to the OP, I'd let her quit if she's really that miserable. DS1 complains, but once he gets there he has fun and participates and then comes home and wants to practice the moves, so I think it's not so much the activity as just getting him there that's the issue. Sounds like your kid truly doesn't want to participate.
Post by Patsy Baloney on Sept 8, 2022 19:27:43 GMT -5
I’ll add my anecdote -
My kid wanted to dance at 5. We signed her up. She lasted a few months and then started crying at drop off. I told her she needed to see it through, we paid for it and wanted to see her recital.
Yeah, then I stayed for their open session and her teacher didn’t know her name and treated her terribly.
We quit the next day. She was trying to tell us it was a crappy experience, and we didn’t listen. Lesson learned.
I think it’s ok to quit. 2xs per week and games is a lot for a 6 year old. Maybe get her into something that meets once per week or every other week. Or just try again in the future.
Post by expectantsteelerfan on Sept 8, 2022 19:40:39 GMT -5
My daughter (who turns 11 next week) had a HUGE tantrum today about not wanting to go to soccer, wanting to quit soccer, at least wanting to skip soccer today at LEAST (which was the first practice, but we have a game saturday), being SOOOO tired and how it wasn't fair that she's so busy even though she insisted she wanted to do all the things and she's going to be too tired to enjoy her birthday party tomorrow and can't she just not do soccer please? And she literally cried until we were in the car on the way to soccer because the answer was no because deep down, I KNEW that the real issue was, she's still adjusting to the school schedule/middle school, she has a later dance class this year that she does insist she still wants to do, and most importantly, her BFF isn't on her soccer team even though she requested to be on a team with her and she didn't think she'd know anyone on the team. She went to soccer, did know at least 2 people even though they aren't good friends, had fun, came home and apologized for the tantrum, and said even though she's tired she does want to do soccer.
11 is different than 6. At 6, you need to make that decision for your kid and figure out for them if this is a good activity for them or not, and it's ok if it's not.
I know where we live there is a waitlist to get into many activities. If cheerleading has a waitlist and it would give another child a chance to be on the team I would let her quit. If the season hasn’t started yet it would still give another kid time to learn everything before the first game.
If there is no waitlist (or it would affect the team) I would try to give it a little more time if today was the first time she really didn’t want to go.
My daughter (who turns 11 next week) had a HUGE tantrum today about not wanting to go to soccer, wanting to quit soccer, at least wanting to skip soccer today at LEAST (which was the first practice, but we have a game saturday), being SOOOO tired and how it wasn't fair that she's so busy even though she insisted she wanted to do all the things and she's going to be too tired to enjoy her birthday party tomorrow and can't she just not do soccer please? And she literally cried until we were in the car on the way to soccer because the answer was no because deep down, I KNEW that the real issue was, she's still adjusting to the school schedule/middle school, she has a later dance class this year that she does insist she still wants to do, and most importantly, her BFF isn't on her soccer team even though she requested to be on a team with her and she didn't think she'd know anyone on the team. She went to soccer, did know at least 2 people even though they aren't good friends, had fun, came home and apologized for the tantrum, and said even though she's tired she does want to do soccer.
11 is different than 6. At 6, you need to make that decision for your kid and figure out for them if this is a good activity for them or not, and it's ok if it's not.
Hello, are you me?
Dd12 is having meltdowns about swim team which she totally wants to do, but she overwhelmed by school starting and being tired and being anxious about the social aspect.
She has to suck it up and I guarantee she'll be fine in a week.
A 6 year old, nope. Every little kid cheer I've seen is a chaotic herd of kids, there is no formation lol. They'll probably be thrilled if half the kids quit. I'm not spending my energy, the lesson will be lost.
Add me to the group that 2 nights per week plus a game on the weekends is too much for a 6 year old. Why do these organizations think this is normal? This is exactly why I didn't sign DD up for soccer at age 6.
I'd probably try to make her finish out whatever I had paid for but obviously every kid is different and every sport is different. If the coaches are being very strict and not age appropriate for 6 year olds in rec cheerleading and making it miserable, then I'd probably lean toward quitting. My 6 year old DD disliked dance.I still made her go to class and then show up on Zoom when COVID happened because I knew she was just being a brat about not upholding the commitment we made. On the other hand, my 3 year old cried for the entire session at his first day of soccer. I didn't bring him back and didn't care if I lost the money. He was clearly too immature and they weren't really interacting with him at the level of a 3 year old at all (the group was mixed like ages 3 - 5).
Apparently we’re the odd folks out here. I make them agree before signing up that they’ll see it through for at least what I’ve paid for .
i generally fall here, but signing up a 6 year old to a three day a week commitment based upon a single clinic feels like a learning opportunity about what you commit to for the parents more than the kids.
ETA: and I don’t mean that in an snarky way. I have to relearn the limits of what my family can handle *every year* because my oldest is very much a joiner and would do everything if she could. But can’t do everything all at once. so we really have to talk about how her activities layer with each other and her energy level.
I have a giant bag full of expensive as hell karate sparring gear only used once collecting dust in a closet that says you can quit. 😬
lol me, too. Martial arts is a freaking racket. DD was so excited about it at 7 and quickly decided it was way too much. It was miserable for me, too, so heck yes we quit. And ate 6 months of fees. No regrets but yeah I still have the equipment.
It's SUCH a racket! $150 a month to start, free uniform. Ok!
Then my 4 year old gets moved up to "leadership", $200 a month. (Which is hindsight was bullshit, he cried about 20% of the time)
Plus there's always some tool or gear they have to buy, a belt promotion for $60 pretty much monthly. All the sparring gear.
COVID hit, we quit. I was able to sell the bag and all the sparring gear on ebay though!
I have a giant bag full of expensive as hell karate sparring gear only used once collecting dust in a closet that says you can quit. 😬
ha! We started karate over the summer with our then 4 year old. He LOVED it; it was twice a week right at dinner but we made it work. We decided with kindergarten being added in that twice weekly karate (which is $$$!!) right at dinner time, plus a weekend sport was too much. He LOVED going but we are taking at least 6 months off while he gets used to the new school schedule.