December Sports and Activities

[mae0111]

It's officially a new month...

[waverly]

I'm actually super excited it is Dec 1. I feel like better things might be happening for us in December than in November, but I don't want to jinx us.

Anyway, Rec Basketball starts this week. I won't have DS do practice on the same days that he has Middle School basketball, but there is a practice tomorrow, so I guess he will start Rec then. No games until January.

DD's has started her winter soccer league and has a game on Saturday. The complex is pretty busy, and only has viewing on the ends of the field. But, the games are a lot shorter than the fall league. For fall they played up a level and games were 70 minutes. For winter, games are only 45 minutes, and they are playing their own age group, so I am hoping they win more games.

DS isn't in any other activities right now. DD has Girl Scouts, and we are doing our winter party and getting ready to sell cookies. All the dumb fundraising is back, but it does bring in a ton of money for the troop. It's annoying though because it's still mom doing it all because I basically just sell at work.

[mae0111]

DD1 is supposed to have her first rec basketball game on Saturday. Because no one seems to be coaching the team, and the schedules are not on the league's website, I reached out to someone that I know that's coaching in DD1's division. I told him that no one had said anything about the schedule for the games, and I didn't know who else to talk to. He responded immediately with the schedule. So I know when the games are, but no one has communicated any of that information to the rest of the team. And since I hate everyone in the whole division, I'm not taking that on.

The guy that sent the schedule said that he felt terrible about not picking DD1. I know him through DD2, and he's never met DD1 - he didn't even know her name. He knows our last name, which is common, and there were 2 kids with our last name in the draft that night. He didn't know which one she was. But I'm discouraged because there were like 6 other coaches in the league that know her, know that she's a nice kid that maybe isn't the fastest or best player... and no one picked her. I'm just so discouraged for her, and I hope that no one tries to be friendly with me at any of the games.

BUT... she is doing really well at practices with her school team. She is just so at ease during the practices. She doesn't have any close friends on the team, but most of the kids are nice and there's very little "I only pass to my friends" nonsense that is happening.

DD2 is playing basketball, but really just counting down the days until indoor soccer starts.

[mae0111]

waverly, are your DD's games on a regular sized field for winter? DD2 has played futsal for the past 2 years - one year on a basketball court, and last year on a teeny tiny turf field (just 1-2 games due to scheduling). I hate futsal - the games are so fast and I feel like the kids get hurt more. I'm hoping this year is a true indoor league. It's still a faster game but better than futsal.

[waverly]

Not sure about you, mae0111, but I am finding the paid professional (PE teacher) at the middle school to be a far superior coach than the Rec league volunteer coaches. There are actual positions and plays, and DS has improved so much.

We at least got a way better rec league coach this year. Last year our coach got involved in the games and forgot to rotate players which is probably the #1 thing they need to be doing. So that will help, but I don't know how much he knows about older kids since he always coached younger kids.

[mae0111]

waverly , oh for sure. The rec stuff is very political in my town, and very competitive. When I volunteered to coach, I was really only concerned with getting nice kids on the team. It wasn't about winning - it was trying to see each kid improve throughout the season, and teaching teamwork. For a lot of reasons, not the least of which was the way I was treated by the league directors, I don't coach anymore. And they're desperate for coaches and have been hinting around that they want me to take over the team. No sir. Shan't.

But DD2's club coach this year was AMAZING. He's a 4th grade teacher, coaches JV at a local private high school, and then coaches 2 club teams. He built them up while teaching them great skills. It was a great balance of fun, conditioning, footwork, team work, and positioning. He just did so well with them. I wish I could clone him and make him coach basketball too.

Re: rotating players, there's an actual rule about playing time for our rec league, and if the coaches don't follow it, they lose the game.  It technically doesn't have to be equal, but everyone has to play at least 1/2 the game, and no mid-quarter subs until the 2nd quarter.  So your first 5 play the first quarter, then you swap them out and the next 5 play.  If you're short players, you can rotate out the kids the played a double shift.  I've seen coaches complain several times about their opponents not following the rules, and the refs (also volunteers) enforce it.

[waverly]

Dec 1, 2022 10:59:17 GMT -5 mae0111 said:

waverly , are your DD's games on a regular sized field for winter? DD2 has played futsal for the past 2 years - one year on a basketball court, and last year on a teeny tiny turf field (just 1-2 games due to scheduling). I hate futsal - the games are so fast and I feel like the kids get hurt more. I'm hoping this year is a true indoor league. It's still a faster game but better than futsal.

I think its a regular size field (turf), but I will let you know if that is different after Saturday's game.  That will be the first time I've been there since I managed to con DH into taking them all the other times.  

[cjcouple]

DS1: football is finally finished and we are all ready to move on.  He has basketball tryouts today through Saturday.  Send some good vibes this way he makes the team again!!!

DS2: he has rec basketball 2 days a week.  They did a draft last night and he has a couple friends on the team.  He also will continue his Karate.  Still trying to get that green belt.  He just needs to get 40 push-ups in but he is struggling. IDK how long this will take though.  He has everything else down. 

If he doesn't make it this month, I am going to ask for a plan to move him to the teen class somehow without his green belt.  I just hope they don't try putting him back to solid blue.  Ugh - so frustrating  

   

[madringal]

Small swim meet tonight for DD1, then Friday they travel to their first and only overnight meet on Saturday. It's Varsity line up only and my freshman is swimming 2 events and an A and B relay. At her meet last week she got a new PR in her 50 free (small .2 drop), dropped 11 (!!!) seconds in her 500, and then dropped another 2 in her 100 in the lead off leg of the 400 relay. Not bad for a mid week meet not suited or tapered. Fingers crossed for more new best times this weekend.

[186momx]

librarychica check out Chelsie Memmel on Instagram. She posts a 10-minute condition circuit on Tuesdays that anyone can really do and isn't just focused on gymnastics.

DD is struggling with her kip and jump to high bar. She has really improved everything else on bars and those skills have come a long way, but they just haven't clicked. She is getting frustrated, private coach I is starting to get frustrated also. I could tell last night that he can't figure out why it isn't working. They spent a lot of time conditioning and strength training yesterday. I think he is trying to get her stronger, so she is more confident. First meet is January 8th.

[cjcouple]

Update already!

I spoke with the owner of the karate school and we decided to switch my son to the teen/adult class. While it's technically a much more challenging class, and a step UP, (he will learn a new form), it seems like it's going back because the adult equivalent to his is a solid blue belt.

He seems excited though to be with teens and adults. He said it makes total sense now because he would see adults doing forms and moves that green belted kids were doing as blue belts. So he is happy about it. phew. I feel bad he won't get that graduation he was working for now but it's past time.

He's 13 and the children's class is just not a good fit anymore.

[sdlaura]

I'm so excited that fall soccer and flag football (so four teams total between my two older kids) end this weekend! We may not know what to do with ourselves when we only have 4 practices a week now with basketball and softball. Oh, and arena soccer, but that's just one game a weekend per kid and no practices.

Next weekend DD plays in a softball tournament that is kind of far away for us - like an hour. I'm the team mom and have to get together a ridiculous amount of documentation in terms of birth certificates, signatures that everyone understands the concussion protocols, SafeSport certification for all adults, etc.

The tournament format of not knowing in advance what days/times our games will be beyond the first one or two is always frustrating, but will be moreso given the location and the fact that we can't go back and forth to home if there's a big gap between games or we want the toddler to nap at home. Hopefully this time I don't get the cops called on me for letting a kid nap in the car

[erbear]

I’m annoyed with DD1’s soccer coaches. Her team (13-14 year old girls) is coached by 4 dudes and they are such dude bros. So much ego. I don’t think they do a very good job of coaching, they don’t do anything to build confidence in the kids or team comraderie. It drives me mad. Anyway, they are playing indoor this winter and he was definitely approaching it like another season so I emailed him to ask “this is straight up pickup, right? Steady rotation, everyone plays equal time, lots of touches on the ball, correct?” DD isn’t the best player on the team but she’s pretty good and she got very little playing time in the fall season. How are they supposed to get better if they don’t play in the off season?

I want to coach the team (I’m way more qualified than them — middle school teacher, former high school varsity coach, played through college and into adulthood). I don’t know how to orchestrate a coup though.

[traveltheworld]

DS is deep into hockey season and seems to have improved dramatically in the past few weeks. He went to try-outs for the elite spring team and didn't look out of place. DH said he thought DS actually was better than most; but I'm pretty sure he won't make it. They take 13 kids out of the 37 who tried out, and almost all the parents knew each other and played together at a higher tier. So unless DS blew it out of the water (and he didn't), I don't see him being picked.

He is still doing competitive swimming but hasn't been training very hard. Hockey just takes up too much time.

DD is loving gymnastics. I have no clue how she is doing.

[vasc]

Girl Scouts and Cub Scouts only here. I’m troop cookie manager and also service unit cookie manager. Pre-sale starts January 2. Lots of work for me but DD loves selling and the whole troop gets really enthusiastic about it.

[mae0111]

erbear, is it a club team or a rec team? Are the coaches volunteers or paid?

If it's a club, I'd approach the owners and tell them what you think. It's not a good environment for teen girls. They need to be built up. Everyone should be playing. Your case would have more teeth if you had other parents that felt the same way you do, and that would be willing to go to another club if the change isn't made. Honestly, the should jump at the chance to hire someone with your experience. The quality of coaches I saw at DD2's old club was steadily declining. People with no coaching experience, experience like "I played for a year in middle school, and I like to kick the ball in my backyard." (I actually overheard a new coach saying that very thing.)

If it's a rec team with volunteers... I don't know. It's so political in my town that I don't think anyone would give up the power. You may try something like "thanks for an awesome fall, take a break for the winter and I'll take over."

[waverly]

Dec 1, 2022 11:24:26 GMT -5 mae0111 said:

waverly , oh for sure. The rec stuff is very political in my town, and very competitive. When I volunteered to coach, I was really only concerned with getting nice kids on the team. It wasn't about winning - it was trying to see each kid improve throughout the season, and teaching teamwork. For a lot of reasons, not the least of which was the way I was treated by the league directors, I don't coach anymore. And they're desperate for coaches and have been hinting around that they want me to take over the team. No sir. Shan't.

But DD2's club coach this year was AMAZING. He's a 4th grade teacher, coaches JV at a local private high school, and then coaches 2 club teams. He built them up while teaching them great skills. It was a great balance of fun, conditioning, footwork, team work, and positioning. He just did so well with them. I wish I could clone him and make him coach basketball too.

Re: rotating players, there's an actual rule about playing time for our rec league, and if the coaches don't follow it, they lose the game.  It technically doesn't have to be equal, but everyone has to play at least 1/2 the game, and no mid-quarter subs until the 2nd quarter.  So your first 5 play the first quarter, then you swap them out and the next 5 play.  If you're short players, you can rotate out the kids the played a double shift.  I've seen coaches complain several times about their opponents not following the rules, and the refs (also volunteers) enforce it.

This coach used to put DS in for 1 minute and then pull him.  DS was not disobeying the coach or violating rules or any reason to be pulled.  While, often it seemed like the coach left the "better" players in the game in order to win, other times he seemed to even forget to rotate at all.  And then when he remembered to rotate seemed to forget who just went in and take them back out (hence the playing for 1-2 minutes and then pulled).  While I noticed it frequently with DS, there were a couple of other players that he did it too, so it wasn't solely targeted at DS.  The coach also had 1-2 mandatory practices and a third optional practice and DS routinely went to ALL the practices.  In addition, then the players he considered to be better players got overly tired and didn't preform well because he didn't rotate them out.  He also was the guy that routinely scheduled practices during Winter Break at the school (the school was closed all Winter Break and was not open for practices and practices were therefore not allowed).  He just overall seemed half clueless and half a jerk, but I wasn't going to coach, so we tried to roll with it.  

[erbear]

Dec 2, 2022 9:43:25 GMT -5 mae0111 said:

erbear, is it a club team or a rec team? Are the coaches volunteers or paid?

If it's a club, I'd approach the owners and tell them what you think. It's not a good environment for teen girls. They need to be built up. Everyone should be playing. Your case would have more teeth if you had other parents that felt the same way you do, and that would be willing to go to another club if the change isn't made. Honestly, the should jump at the chance to hire someone with your experience. The quality of coaches I saw at DD2's old club was steadily declining. People with no coaching experience, experience like "I played for a year in middle school, and I like to kick the ball in my backyard." (I actually overheard a new coach saying that very thing.)

If it's a rec team with volunteers... I don't know. It's so political in my town that I don't think anyone would give up the power. You may try something like "thanks for an awesome fall, take a break for the winter and I'll take over."

It’s a club team with volunteer coaches. All dads of girls on the team. I am going to email the commissioner with my offer to help.

[waverly]

erbear, I do appreciate that our club team is run by a woman (and her H). She does binder work at the end of the practices where they talk about good sportsman ship and other things. They have handouts and keep them in a binder, hence it being called binder work. I would not call her mean but she is definitely firm with the girls, but I haven't seen an instance of crossing the line. With me, yes, she yelled at me for being late, but she never crossed the line with the girls.

[mae0111]

erbear, ohhhhh yeah I'm not a fan of parents coaching club. DD2 is playing for a club now with dads that coach, but I made sure that there are no dad coaches in her age group. While some parent coaches are awesome, many are really just there so that their Susie can get allll the playing time.

To that end, I'm considering taking over DD1's town rec basketball team. I hate everyone in the league and they treated me and DD1 poorly over the years, but her current coach is just about one step above plant life. They are supposed to have their first game tomorrow, and the coach has not sent out the schedule. I got it from another coach. But if I do it, I'm turning into an "all about my kid" coach. She will play every minute of every game, in whatever position she wants to play. Because I'm tired of her getting she crap end of the stick all the time.

[sdlaura]

For all but one team, we’ve been so lucky with parent coaches, especially for softball where there are so many qualified dads who want to coach the ‘select’ teams that there’s a competitive interview process with the board.

For some little kid sports, we have ended up with some volunteer coaches who are super nice but not that knowledgeable about the sport or how to coach in general. But I’ll take someone who’s nice and tries to be fair over a meaner/less fair person, even if my kid would have learned more with the latter.

All the club team coaches here are paid. But the fee to play club is very high.

[erbear]

Dec 2, 2022 10:05:23 GMT -5 mae0111 said:

erbear , ohhhhh yeah I'm not a fan of parents coaching club. DD2 is playing for a club now with dads that coach, but I made sure that there are no dad coaches in her age group. While some parent coaches are awesome, many are really just there so that their Susie can get allll the playing time.

To that end, I'm considering taking over DD1's town rec basketball team. I hate everyone in the league and they treated me and DD1 poorly over the years, but her current coach is just about one step above plant life. They are supposed to have their first game tomorrow, and the coach has not sent out the schedule. I got it from another coach. But if I do it, I'm turning into an "all about my kid" coach. She will play every minute of every game, in whatever position she wants to play. Because I'm tired of her getting she crap end of the stick all the time.

Interestingly, this doesn't happen. The head coach's daughter is not a super good player and he knows it -- she gets very little playing time. The weirdness is between the men -- they are so weirdly competitive with each other.

I also just think there is a value in having women coaches at this age. If there is a qualified woman, she should be the coach. They used to be coached by a woman (a mom) and she was awesome.

[mae0111]

erbear, I agree with you 100% - so much value in having women coaches at that age. DD1 is 13, and her school basketball head coach is a dad, with 3 moms (including me) assisting. The head coach couldn't make it last week, and one of the moms (who hadn't been able to make it to a practice before that) took the lead. She was AMAZING. Awesome drills, took kids aside that seemed to be struggling and worked with them 1:1, really demonstrated the skills before having the kids try. At the end of practice, she made each kid say what they thought they did well, and what they wanted to work on before the next practice. She connected with them in such a great way. I wish she would take over, but her DD that's on the team plays soccer at a national level (at age 12, she's amazing) so they're committed there before the school team.

[cjcouple]

I'm so happy! My son went to karate this morning and they are graduating him this month into the teen/adult class. He seems super excited. I thought they were just moving him without a promotion.

[mae0111]

Both kid had their first basketball games this morning.

DD2's game was super physical and they lost by a LOT. I wasn't surprised, but DD2 was really frustrated. Every time she got the ball, a kid on the other team flattened her. The refs called the fouls and spoke to her, but DD2 was really banged up by the end of the game. There wasn't a lot I could say other than to tell her that she played well (which she did). Other than benching the kid, there wasn't anything the refs could do. They're too young to understand flagrant fouls.

DD1 had her first game. 5 kids showed up, with one more at half-time. I told the coach that I'd not received any communications at all, so perhaps that was why no one showed up. Apparently there is a team chat and I wasn't on it. But it's fixed now.

So there's a family in town that I grew up with, and now their kids all play sports here. Even when I was a kid, they were known for cheating and crying whenever they lost. So we walked into the gym today... Member #1 is coaching the other team, member #2 is doing the scoring, and member #3 (DH of member #1) is the only ref. So I knew things weren't going to go well for DD1's team. DD1's team was up by 12 at the half, and the ref seemed to have lost his whistle while his kids slapped, pushed, and elbowed DD1's teammates until they caught up. It was so bad that another coach from another team jumped onto the court and started refing in the 4th, but it just wasn't enough. They lost by 2 in OT.

It's so hard to teach kids good sportsmanship when people like this are running things. It's a nasty way to teach your kids to play.

[waverly]

Indoor soccer is so much faster than outdoor.

Outdoor soccer- arrive 30 minutes early for warm up, 70 minute game, 10 minute half. Basically takes 2 hours with driving.

Indoor soccer- 40 minutes, clock never stops, no halftime. So much quicker! No warmup because there is no place to warm up. Field is smaller but not by a ton.

[mae0111]

I need to vent a little.

Dd2 got her spring travel soccer team assignment (town rec not club)

She got placed on a team with 2 other kids from her club. One is decent, the other is not a good player and a pretty nasty kid. Dd2 gets along with, like EVERYONE but her.

Almost all of the other kids her age from her club are on a team together. It’s all town politics and I’m so f-ing sick of it. I just hope it’s a nice group of kids other than that one kid. She’s going to be really sad when she finds out that she isn’t with her teammates.

[sdlaura]

Update on our situation where the one girl that DD knew on her basketball team decided to switch to another league with other friends - the friend decided to do both leagues. So she is still on the team with DD. She doesn't come to practice, just games, but she's still one of the best players on the team, so they're glad to have her there. DD is happy to still see her sometimes.

For DD's select softball team this fall, I offered to be the team mom when no one else volunteered. Then the other moms were like "why are you doing this, when you have four kids and work full time?!" But it's because none of them volunteered It hasn't been that much coordination until recently when I had to get a bunch of paperwork together for tournament registrations, and then now at the end of the season. Coach really wants to have the team party before the holidays, and have me organize thank you gifts for 3 assistant coaches and parents who helped with other things too. He decides to have the party Sunday, I send out the details, and half the team can't make it - of course, because it's a week before Christmas. I talked to the family hosting and we decide an afternoon next week would be better and I send out a doodle poll to find a date that works for more people. Of course my original poll is in the wrong time zone so I have to send out another. He also asked me to collect tournament fees, I do that, and then texts me last night that the league is covering them, so then I have to venmo everyone back. It has just been a mess.

[waverly]

Middle school basketball finished up on Monday. DS lost his coat somewhere between the gym and school so we went in a wild goose chase and did not find it today.

Rec basketball already started but he hasn’t gone yet so he’ll start that next week. Then they don’t have practice when schools are close for winter break.

DD is crying about everything so I kept her home from soccer practice. I’ve decided she is over tired and needs downtime.

[186momx]

Cranky Coach has decided to use a similar method of the green/yellow/red cards but for skills at practice. DD's confidence is slowly dropping and she is getting worse as the month goes on. She is so worried about what color dot she gets for each skill and stressing over the stupid ice cream party if you get all green dots. I keep telling DD I'll go get her whatever ice cream she wants as long as she tries her best, and she can just say FU to cranky coach's chart. But the 11-year-old DD wants the team ice cream party so is stressing out over dots and checks.