Hiring a Sitter

[icedcoffee]

I've never done this before, but I think we're going to need a sitter soon.  I can find a neighborhood kid through my neighborhood women's club but how do I do this?  Do I have them come over to meet the kids beforehand?  Or just come the night they're hired?  

I know this is dumb, but this is the shit that keeps me up at night.  LOL

[rhian]

The first time we hired a sitter, we had her come over for a few hours on a weekend afternoon to watch the baby while we worked at home. We spent the first 30 mins or so together, then she hung out with him, but we were around in case they needed anything.

[icedcoffee]

Also--my kids are 3 and 6 and sitter would just need to put them to bed and then hang out.

[waverly]

I’ve done it both ways and both went fine. However, some sitters and parents might prefer to meet each other first before baby sitting for comfort level.

The ones I didn’t have over before were kids of friends/ acquaintances. So I guess I knew them or their families rather than total strangers.

[nmosrob]

Any chance your kid(s) are or were in daycare of aftercare at school? That's how we got our babysitter, from aftercare.

[icedcoffee]

Dec 22, 2022 10:58:46 GMT -5 nmosrob said:

Any chance your kid(s) are or were in daycare of aftercare at school? That's how we got our babysitter, from aftercare.

Yes--they are in both, but I kind of don't want to mix those worlds.  I don't know why.  Although this is a good reminder that there's a lady at their church youth group that might be a good fit.  Hmmm.

[sunshineandpinot]

My kids always loved having babysitters. I did not have them meet my kids first but I think that's totally fine to do. You could ask if they'd like to do that?
But then, idk. Do you pay them for that time?

[countthestars]

I typically just have them come a little early because they are at least acquaintances. If I had them come ahead of time to meet the kids, I would pay them for that time. My kids are generally pretty easy so having them ahead of time might feel silly for a 10 minute chat, but if I had nervous kids I could see why it could be helpful.

[macmars45]

The first time we hired a baby sitter she & her dad (she was 15) came over for 30-45 minutes to meet DS(3 at the time). I can't remember if we paid her or not actually. She was the best baby sitter! We used her for a year; right up until covid

[gerberdaisy]

We never have them come beforehand. However if its a new sitter I usually make it kinda fund for the kids by ordering pizza or something else they'll be excited about to distract from having a new person.

Our best sitters were nanny's for other families that were looking for extra hours, daycare teachers never worked out well for us and then made it awkward.

[waverly]

Dec 22, 2022 11:44:30 GMT -5 sunshineandpinot said:

My kids always loved having babysitters. I did not have them meet my kids first but I think that's totally fine to do. You could ask if they'd like to do that?
But then, idk. Do you pay them for that time?

It depends. If it was more like an interview then no.

If it was arrive 30 minutes early for the babysitting gig, so I can show you everything and finish prepping dinner (just an example) then yes I paid them.

We’ve done both.

[wanderingback]

I plan to do this in the next 6 months and plan to have them come before to meet her and show her things around the apartment.

[heygrey]

When DS was little, I always hired an older teenager that I knew so I didn't feel the need to have them come separately to meet him. They would just come a half hour before we needed to leave so I could go over dinner/bedtime routine/etc. DS always loved having babysitters and was never anxious with new people though.

I haven't successfully hired a sitter since before covid though. I tried a couple times this fall, but the teenagers I have access to right now are flakey AF. One cancelled last minute with vague excuses so we reworked our plans to include DS which was fine, but not the adult night out I envisioned. The second was really noncommittal and I couldn't deal with her waiting to see if she got a better offer (to hang out with friends, I assume. I was offering $20/hour so she wouldn't get better pay elsewhere as a 13 year old.)

[beerlover]

We've had both situations. Some of our sitters are older kids of our friends, so he's met them. But we've had a few others that just showed up at the house and we hoped for the best lol. But for those situations, we knew the kid or their family at least a tiny bit to know they were probably good people (H is a principal at the HS here and we have a lot of teacher friends, so its pretty easy for us to ask around about someone).

This might be an appropriate time to tell this story- one time we got a new sitter from the local college. As we were showing her around the house, DS (5 at the time), opened up our beer fridge, handed her a beer and said "this is for you". He was very proud of himself for being so hospitable. I think he just associated having any adult over with beer, since we're always sitting around our dining room table with friends having beer lol.

[icedcoffee]

Dec 22, 2022 13:06:46 GMT -5 beerlover said:

We've had both situations. Some of our sitters are older kids of our friends, so he's met them. But we've had a few others that just showed up at the house and we hoped for the best lol. But for those situations, we knew the kid or their family at least a tiny bit to know they were probably good people (H is a principal at the HS here and we have a lot of teacher friends, so its pretty easy for us to ask around about someone).

This might be an appropriate time to tell this story- one time we got a new sitter from the local college. As we were showing her around the house, DS (5 at the time), opened up our beer fridge, handed her a beer and said "this is for you". He was very proud of himself for being so hospitable. I think he just associated having any adult over with beer, since we're always sitting around our dining room table with friends having beer lol.

LOL--that's hilarious!! 

[sdlaura]

I have four kids, including 3 little boys, so we have some high-schoolers/babysitters recommended by friends who will watch 2-3 at a time, but it's hard to find someone willing and able to watch all four. We really need an adult who has some education/nanny experience or have their own kids/grandkids, especially if they're also doing bedtime. We've found many babysitters through our kids' daycares and preschools and just by asking around.

So when our old regular babysitter (who was previously one of the kids' preschool teachers) got married and had a baby and stopped babysitting, I signed up for the UrbanSitter app and I've had really good luck with that. I created a post/job listing with what we were looking for, and sitters responded if they were interested and I could see their reviews and backgrounds. You can see their calendars with when they're free, and the sitters we've used through the app are super responsive. They expect higher pay than the neighborhood high-schooler, but I'm willing to pay more to go out like twice a month and have them not flake on me and respond right away when I ask if they're free.

When trying out new babysitters, I usually don't have them come over before the first job to meet the kids (besides like 15 minutes before we need to leave for them to get instructions). We typically go out from 5-7 pm for an early dinner, just as sort of a trial run with the babysitter, not involving any bedtime routine. When I first signed up with Urban Sitter, we did this with like 6 different sitters before settling on two that we really liked. They were all reliable and kept the kids safe, but the two we ended up sticking with were extra warm and the kids liked them best. 

Good luck - it definitely takes some effort to develop a couple good babysitter relationships, but it's worth it when you need them!

[Susie]

We just hired a new sitter, at a time when the concept of sitters was new to our kids (at least our pandemic baby).  We hired her to come over from like 4-6pm on a Sunday a couple weeks ahead of when we actually needed a sitter, gave her a house tour, and she "babysat" while we put up outdoor Christmas lights and spoke in complete sentences.  We paid her regular hourly rate for that.  Then when she came to sit a couple weeks later, nothing was "new" except that we actually left.

[icedcoffee]

Dec 22, 2022 13:34:18 GMT -5 sdlaura said:

I have four kids, including 3 little boys, so we have some high-schoolers/babysitters recommended by friends who will watch 2-3 at a time, but it's hard to find someone willing and able to watch all four. We really need an adult who has some education/nanny experience or have their own kids/grandkids, especially if they're also doing bedtime. We've found many babysitters through our kids' daycares and preschools and just by asking around.

So when our old regular babysitter (who was previously one of the kids' preschool teachers) got married and had a baby and stopped babysitting, I signed up for the UrbanSitter app and I've had really good luck with that. I created a post/job listing with what we were looking for, and sitters responded if they were interested and I could see their reviews and backgrounds. You can see their calendars with when they're free, and the sitters we've used through the app are super responsive. They expect higher pay than the neighborhood high-schooler, but I'm willing to pay more to go out like twice a month and have them not flake on me and respond right away when I ask if they're free.

When trying out new babysitters, I usually don't have them come over before the first job to meet the kids (besides like 15 minutes before we need to leave for them to get instructions). We typically go out from 5-7 pm for an early dinner, just as sort of a trial run with the babysitter, not involving any bedtime routine. When I first signed up with Urban Sitter, we did this with like 6 different sitters before settling on two that we really liked. They were all reliable and kept the kids safe, but the two we ended up sticking with were extra warm and the kids liked them best. 

Good luck - it definitely takes some effort to develop a couple good babysitter relationships, but it's worth it when you need them!

This is super helpful.  Thanks!  So far we've gotten by with just our parents outside of daycare/aftercare, but I'm tired of my narcissistic MIL using it as bargaining power so it's time to get a sitter.  LOL  

Is the UrbanSitter app free?  I'm going to look into it!

[Velar Fricative]

If it was a sitter I didn't already know in some way, I'd have them come by and meet the kids first.

Our sitters are people we know though, like my next door neighbor, DH's co-worker, etc. In those situations, I just had them come by earlier than we needed them on the day of. My kids are easygoing and love having sitters, so I'm not too worried about their adjustment lol.

[konapoppy]

We used daycare providers (and might ask an aftercare person if they are interested). We tried a neighborhood high school student and my kids were just too wild for her 🙃

The daycare folks know what they are getting into and not to fall into the trap of their shenanigans.

Maybe your kids aren’t monsters 🤷🏻‍♀️

[aprilsails]

We only do the intro session with new sitters (as in 12-13 year olds). If they’ve been doing this for a while then we just meet them and run! We’ve used about 4 different kids from our neighbourhood. The most recent one who had never babysat before, we had her over for a trial run evening where she didn’t have to put them to bed. Just fed them dinner and took them to the park while we walked over to a local restaurant for an hour and a half. After that she had the confidence to do longer evenings.

Point of notice we’ve known all the kids parents and they are all from our kids schools or literally across the street.

[al dente]

When I was first getting a sitter I had an infant and young 4yr old. I always first talk to them on the phone and ask some basic questions, and then set up a time for them to come for a few hours while I make dinner and show them the bedtime routine. I paid their hourly rate for when they came. It made me more comfortable esp with having younger kids, and I could see how much the sitter can handle/how observant they are watching two kids.

It never worked out for me to use someone I knew or a teen. Mostly due to scheduling. So anyways that was a big reason for having them come for a few hours and interacting with them since it was basically a stranger.

[sdlaura]

icedcoffee UrbanSitter is free to post a listing and get responses/read reviews on sitters. If you decide to book with a sitter, then you have to pay. I think it’s $35 a month for unlimited use or less per month if you subscribe for a longer time period. I bought a year subscription. I also just used it to find sitters for a trip we’re taking with other families to a vacation area a couple hours away from where we live, and had good success with that too.

[jorja]

I have them come meet the kids/interview first.

[erbear]

Dec 22, 2022 11:44:30 GMT -5 sunshineandpinot said:

My kids always loved having babysitters. I did not have them meet my kids first but I think that's totally fine to do. You could ask if they'd like to do that?
But then, idk. Do you pay them for that time?

Yea, of course you do. You’re asking them to work. You pay them.

[sunshineandpinot]

Dec 22, 2022 21:50:41 GMT -5 erbear said:

Dec 22, 2022 11:44:30 GMT -5 sunshineandpinot said:

My kids always loved having babysitters. I did not have them meet my kids first but I think that's totally fine to do. You could ask if they'd like to do that?
But then, idk. Do you pay them for that time?

Yea, of course you do. You’re asking them to work. You pay them.

I would think so too. Which is probably one of the reasons I never did that. 

[pinkdutchtulips]

I always asked friends for recommendations, friends themselves, daughters of the noon supervisors when R was in elementary school, mom's group, care.com, urbansitter.com

With care.com and urbansitter.com, i'd have a facetime meet n greet beforehand. 

Being a solo single mom .. I had to have an arsenal of sitters.