What % of posters avoid @ content? (No @ content, please)

[sonrisa]

Please don't post any actual @ content in here.

Just curious. Even if no one says "yes" (perhaps because they skipped the post completely because of the symbol) We know it has value for a number of our posters. Low percentages in the poll wouldn't reflect its importance. 

(This post is brought to you by my frustration arguing with someone elsewhere on the internet who is being deliberately obtuse and offensive. I should know better. So instead of arguing with idiots, I thought I would come here where people aren't trying to be assholes and ask a question about our own courtesy symbol.)

[goldengirlz]

Zooming out.

I have diagnosed PTSD. It’s not @-related, so I can read those. However, I totally understand the sickening feeling when someone posts about one of my triggers. So there’s definitely content I (try to) avoid, or that I know that clicking on will be a form of self-harm. All that to say, topic avoidance is probably very common on this board and every board, and the @ or TW tag is a small gesture that can offer immense kindness to someone who’s been in a dark place.

[agnes]

I don’t particularly care for a large amount of @related posts, like @randoms. So I skip most of the time if I see it. It’s helpful in that regard

[Vespasia]

I skip most of the personal anecdote @ content but will read stuff that is actually CEP in nature. It's not painful for me, it's just not something I have any interest in. I like having a place where that isn't a focus and can get frustrated when we end up with threads that get derailed with (often unnecessary) @ content.

[pixy0stix]

There was a time where I skipped any @ related content. I don't do that anymore, but it was helpful when it happened.

Also, it's helpful in cutting down unnecessary @ content. Not everything has to relate back to kids.

[sonrisa]

Jan 9, 2023 11:38:10 GMT -5 goldengirlz said:

 topic avoidance is probably very common on this board and every board, and the @ or TW tag is a small gesture that can offer immense kindness to someone who’s been in a dark place.

I completely understand and support why we do it and agree about personal triggers. I was just curious about numbers.

I was in an argument with a fragile white cis straight man (friend of a friend) who thinks any kind of self regulating for offensive content is "against freedom of speech" - so a stereotypical asshole who I don't personally know and should have known better than to engage with on Facebook.

It got me thinking about how our community has managed to incorporate and use a very valuable, novel courtesy symbol. Hence the poll. 

[bronxgirl]

Jan 9, 2023 11:44:08 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

Jan 9, 2023 11:38:10 GMT -5 goldengirlz said:

 topic avoidance is probably very common on this board and every board, and the @ or TW tag is a small gesture that can offer immense kindness to someone who’s been in a dark place.

I completely understand and support why we do it and agree about personal triggers. I was just curious about numbers.

I was in an argument with a fragile white cis straight man (friend of a friend) who thinks any kind of self regulating for offensive content is "against freedom of speech" - so a stereotypical asshole who I don't personally know and should have known better than to engage with on Facebook.

It got me thinking about how our community has managed to incorporate and use a very valuable, novel courtesy symbol. Hence the poll. 

This is going to sound very simplistic, but I think we're able to do it by (largely) not being assholes. For the most part I think most posters on this board ae nice, caring people who respect others and that's what we're doing by using the symbol.  I think it also helps that people often know one another's stores and why certain topics can be triggering.  And then there are people who are assholes and either don't care who they offend or get a kick out of it. I think because we are largely a group of the former, rather than the latter is why I've felt comfortable being a member of this community for such a long time. 

[sonrisa]

Jan 9, 2023 11:53:06 GMT -5 bronxgirl said:

Jan 9, 2023 11:44:08 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

I completely understand and support why we do it and agree about personal triggers. I was just curious about numbers.

I was in an argument with a fragile white cis straight man (friend of a friend) who thinks any kind of self regulating for offensive content is "against freedom of speech" - so a stereotypical asshole who I don't personally know and should have known better than to engage with on Facebook.

It got me thinking about how our community has managed to incorporate and use a very valuable, novel courtesy symbol. Hence the poll. 

This is going to sound very simplistic, but I think we're able to do it by (largely) not being assholes. For the most part I think most posters on this board ae nice, caring people who respect others and that's what we're doing by using the symbol.  I think it also helps that people often know one another's stores and why certain topics can be triggering.  And then there are people who are assholes and either don't care who they offend or get a kick out of it. I think because we are largely a group of the former, rather than the latter is why I've felt comfortable being a member of this community for such a long time. 

True. I did put in that last option for any lurker who really wanted to be heard. No one has taken me up on it yet.

[estrellita]

I mean sure, people are free to say what they want. But if it's purposely hurtful, you're an asshole. While I don't skip @ content as it's not a trigger for me, I appreciate that this community has the respect and decency to recognize that it can be a very difficult topic for some. I agree too that it helps make me realize when I start adding @ content, I reconsider if it actually adds any value to my post. Being aware about @ content IMO helps keep the community going, because people can feel more comfortable participating if they're not constantly blindsided by something potentially triggering.

Of course the person you talked to isn't here, but if they were, I'd tell them if they don't like it, post somewhere else 🤷‍♀️

[sonrisa]

Jan 9, 2023 11:56:06 GMT -5 estrellita said:

 I agree too that it helps make me realize when I start adding @ content, I reconsider if it actually adds any value to my post.

Yes, I had this experience earlier today. 

[mrsd2006]

If it's in the post title, I skip it. It's not because it's a trigger for me, it's just that I don't have kids.

[mcsangel2]

I don't have kids, so it's pretty rare that I'll read a specifically @ tagged thread. For certain topics, like randoms or Covid, I think it's helpful to have separate @ threads.

[wanderingback]

I used to skip most of it for a variety of reasons. Now I don’t skip all of it but the tagging is still helpful for me.

[aurora]

I often skip it just because it's less relevant to my life and not because I need to avoid for other reasons. I support keeping the symbol for many reasons.

[cattledogkisses]

Jan 9, 2023 12:11:30 GMT -5 mcsangel2 said:

I don't have kids, so it's pretty rare that I'll read a specifically @ tagged thread. For certain topics, like randoms or Covid, I think it's helpful to have separate @ threads.

This.  I skip a lot of @-related content simply because it doesn't apply to me or interest me as someone who's chosen not to have children. 

[lust2hart]

Jan 9, 2023 11:42:35 GMT -5 Vespasia said:

I skip most of the personal anecdote @ content but will read stuff that is actually CEP in nature. It's not painful for me, it's just not something I have any interest in. I like having a place where that isn't a focus and can get frustrated when we end up with threads that get derailed with (often unnecessary) @ content.

Same here. I'm not quite sure how to vote because I do skip altogether the @randoms and @covid threads, but will read kid-related CEP threads until they turn into personal anecdote time. 

[basilosaurus]

Jan 9, 2023 12:46:32 GMT -5 lust2hart said:

Jan 9, 2023 11:42:35 GMT -5 Vespasia said:

I skip most of the personal anecdote @ content but will read stuff that is actually CEP in nature. It's not painful for me, it's just not something I have any interest in. I like having a place where that isn't a focus and can get frustrated when we end up with threads that get derailed with (often unnecessary) @ content.

Same here. I'm not quite sure how to vote because I do skip altogether the @randoms and @covid threads, but will read kid-related CEP threads until they turn into personal anecdote time. 

Yeah I also didn't know how to vote.

[sonrisa]

Jan 9, 2023 12:46:32 GMT -5 lust2hart said:

Jan 9, 2023 11:42:35 GMT -5 Vespasia said:

I skip most of the personal anecdote @ content but will read stuff that is actually CEP in nature. It's not painful for me, it's just not something I have any interest in. I like having a place where that isn't a focus and can get frustrated when we end up with threads that get derailed with (often unnecessary) @ content.

Same here. I'm not quite sure how to vote because I do skip altogether the @randoms and @covid threads, but will read kid-related CEP threads until they turn into personal anecdote time. 

I had intended the third choice to cover that - but with some flexibility. Instead I guess I was just vague. lol.

[cattledogkisses]

Jan 9, 2023 12:46:32 GMT -5 lust2hart said:

Jan 9, 2023 11:42:35 GMT -5 Vespasia said:

I skip most of the personal anecdote @ content but will read stuff that is actually CEP in nature. It's not painful for me, it's just not something I have any interest in. I like having a place where that isn't a focus and can get frustrated when we end up with threads that get derailed with (often unnecessary) @ content.

Same here. I'm not quite sure how to vote because I do skip altogether the @randoms and @covid threads, but will read kid-related CEP threads until they turn into personal anecdote time. 

Yeah, I didn't actually vote because I wasn't sure which option was the best for this. 

I don't mind @ content that is CEP-related, but I have zero interest in people's personal anecdotes about their kids.

[wawa]

I generally love that we do this. it was an adjustment, occasionally I'll still forget (doh!), there's the occasional topic where I think its a bit unneccessary (like...local elections that mention school boards? that's not actually a @ topic imo, but I'm happy to do something I find a smidge silly if it makes others feel more comfortable). so overall I think it's an improvement to the board.

it annoys the shit out of me when I'm with friends IRL and the topic always winds back to kids, so it's lovely to have a place to talk to grownups where that doesn't happen.

[seeyalater52]

Jan 9, 2023 11:42:48 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

There was a time where I skipped any @ related content. I don't do that anymore, but it was helpful when it happened.

Also, it's helpful in cutting down unnecessary @ content. Not everything has to relate back to kids.

This is basically my answer. There were many years when I completely avoided @ content and would not have remained active here if I couldn’t mostly avoid it. I am less triggered now although there are definitely times when I choose to avoid certain @ topics and the tags make it easy for me to do that.

[somersault72]

I don't avoid it but can certainly understand why people do. There have been times where I've wanted to say something @ related in a non @ post (on topic) but will refrain. At the end of the day, it all comes down to empathy and respect.

[MixedBerryJam]

I’m likely to skip @ content when from the title I infer it’s mostly actual @ content bc it’s not relevant to me. But if it’s a subject I might have some knowledge about I’ll read. I probably skip 2/3 of those posts. I appreciate the value of CW/TW generally and honestly don’t understand the objection. It literally costs nothing to make someone else’s day better.

[Jalapeñomel]

I just don’t want to talk about kids sometimes, not mine or anyone else’s kids. I like that it’s easy to filter out those posts that have a lot of @@@ content.

[heygrey]

Jan 9, 2023 13:24:27 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

Jan 9, 2023 12:46:32 GMT -5 lust2hart said:

Same here. I'm not quite sure how to vote because I do skip altogether the @randoms and @covid threads, but will read kid-related CEP threads until they turn into personal anecdote time. 

I had intended the third choice to cover that - but with some flexibility. Instead I guess I was just vague. lol.

I used the 3rd option for that.

I have a kid, I work with kids. I don’t love reading about kids. I’m on the interest to disassociate from real life 😛

[sonrisa]

What I’m not saying on Facebook right now: there is nothing ‘brave’. About being willing to offend people.

This all goes back to the image from the hamline college post - but without any of the context or warnings. Blargle.

[mrsukyankee]

I don't avoid @content, but like others, I just don't seek it out because I don't have kids. I will look at the beginning of a topic if it looks interesting to me, even if there is an @ symbol, but I usually ignore.

[ECB]

Assholes just keep assholing ….

To turn “self regulating” into a freedom of speech issue is some kind of snowflake mental gymnastics.

[msmerymac]

Jan 9, 2023 11:42:48 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

There was a time where I skipped any @ related content. I don't do that anymore, but it was helpful when it happened.

Also, it's helpful in cutting down unnecessary @ content. Not everything has to relate back to kids.

This is also my answer, but it depends on the @ content - there are some things I’ll skim but still largely skip, but the @ helps me identify that things I’d rather not engage with may follow.

[fumbalina]

I don't avoid casual mention of @ but I don't seek out threads. It's just irrelevant to me. I avoid them the same way I avoid Royal family, awards shows or anything snow related. I'm not interested and can't relate.