H is getting gastric sleeve surgery

[Bernadine]

What do I need to know to support him? His surgery date is Feb 8 and he starts a liquid diet next Wednesday.

I’m having lots of my own feelings about it, but want to support him the best I can.

[Patsy Baloney]

My MIL recently went through this surgery and I was honestly surprised by how little she needed from us as her primary support people. We did a lot of protein/drink roulette trying to find the right one (I still have a lot of abandoned bottles of random drinks sitting in my garage), but generally there’s not a whole lot to “do”. Or at least we didn’t feel that way. She did do a pretty big clean-out of her pantry/fridge, but she lives alone and could completely tailor her kitchen to just her needs - which isn’t your scenario.

One thing that we did have to do socially was constantly reassure MIL she never needed to explain why she had stopped eating, refused a food, drink, etc. She didn’t want to be viewed as rude, but, hey lady, you just had a surgery, no one is sitting in their chair saying, “Why didn’t this B have seconds!”

[icedcoffee]

I don't know, but I remember you mentioned you were struggling with the idea. Sending you lots of support!

[lessel]

I had gastric sleeve surgery in 2021. Happy to PM you as many TMI details as you want about the immediate time post-op.

Reading between the lines a bit, but sounds like my H had kind of similar feelings to what you're experiencing. I've lost about 140lbs so I've had good success with it (so far of course... it's a long-term journey), so I think my H turned a bit of a corner on his opinion of the whole thing. I imagine the days immediately post-op were hard for him because he had his opinions of it all and that was mixed with me in a good amount of pain and struggling emotionally too.

The first few days post-op were more painful than I expected. Sipping water was like sipping fire. I was supposed to drink like 60oz of fluid the first day after surgery and I think I got down like 11oz. I really had to work up over a week or so to the recommended intake of water and protein shakes. I didn't have any nausea whatsoever, so I was so grateful for that... just luck, I guess.

I did not have to do a pre-op diet, but I hear that it's pretty hellish. I would have been pretty bitchy on it, I imagine.

The immediate weeks after surgery you really just have to stick very closely to the surgeon/dietician's recs and progression. Seems like it varies from practice to practice. Some have a puree food stage (mine didn't). I went from "full liquids" (eg protein shakes) to soft foods (eg soft scrambled egg) on like maybe day 7-10 post-op. I would maybe suggest dabbling in purchasing a bunch of different protein shakes and figuring out what he likes... I found I really only like 2 (Premier Protein Latte and Fairlife Chocolate). Those have been easy for me to stay consistent with (I haven't met a protein powder that I like yet). But other folks are the opposite--only use powders. It just takes some experimenting to figure out.

Truly happy to answer any and all questions about my experience.

[mcmel]

My friend is in the hospital from her surgery 2 days ago. She’s had some bumps in the road, like not being able to keep her liquids down, so she’s not able to be discharged yet. Nothing serious, but maybe be prepared to stay with him overnight at the hospital in case he needs help. He will be groggy and need help doing things, like getting up to use the bathroom. The nurses are so short staffed that I would absolutely plan on staying the night with him while he’s up there and that may be a couple of nights if there’s complications.

TMI but I told my friend before surgery that I had a very hard time wiping after my gallbladder removal (a very similar surgery) so she might (omg I’m so sorry for anyone reading this) want to buy some special tongs that can be tossed. I remember being in a near panic when I realized I couldn’t wipe. I got in the shower and tried to wash off and I couldn’t do that either. I became desperate to get clean and broke out the tongs and baby wipes. Disgusting but I was clean and that’s all I cared about.

My friend texted me today and said that she also can’t wipe and her mom is having to do that for her. Just FYI.

Regarding pain, again I didn’t have the surgery but I hear gallbladder is similar in terms of pain, I found getting up out of a sturdy folding lawn chair was much easier than a couch or deep comfy chair. The folding lawn chair sat more upright, had cup holders on both sides as well as a pocket on the side, and had two arm rests that made a world of difference for pushing myself up compared to just one arm rest on a deep, plush couch. I had an ottoman beside me and basically slept there for a week. Mostly because the motion of laying down or sitting up was the most painful of the whole experience. The organs kind of slosh and settle when you lay down or when you sit up and it was nearly unbearable. My H would have to hold my shoulders and lower me into bed and pick me up. That whole process lasted 2 full weeks. I went back to work a week after surgery but that laying down/sitting up motion was the most painful and lengthy problem associated with the whole thing.

Good luck to both of you and I hope everything goes well.

[BlondeSpiders]

Bernadine, If you don't mind chatting privately I would be happy to answer any questions!

[lessel]

Some more immediate post-op thoughts…

I was outpatient, so home and in my own bed a few hours after surgery. I had no additional risk factors that warranted an overnight in a hospital, so I was glad for that. But agree with PP the first 24hrs I needed my H or mom for a lot of help.

I was given liquid hydrocodone (fruit punch flavor!) which was god awful. I didn’t have nausea but taking that plus Zofran for nausea almost did make me want to hurl. For that reason I was off all meds by probably 24 hours out. That probably contributed to me feeling more abdominal discomfort—kind of like the muscle pain after a c-section, but just higher in my abdomen. Like it hurts to move or laugh kind of thing.

Since we’re going TMI (thanks to PP 😉), I’ll add to that that constipation was my major issue immediately after surgery and for the first few months. It was BAD a few days after surgery. Like in the bathroom for 90 minutes crying in pain thinking I had ruptured something level awful. It will pass. Literally. I did have to do a suppository at the worst point, but it gets better with time and increasingly adding fiber to your diet.

I will say that the first week after surgery I was like WTF did I do?! I will never eat and life will never be the same again! Much drama. But it normalizes month by month and I don’t feel deprived in any way these days. Which is sort of where I’m feeling back in the “danger zone.” Like the surgery was a tool to get where I am and I did that part of the work with significant help. But portion sizes seem more normal these days. The kinds of foods I can eat is more what it used to be. So the most dramatic restrictions are mostly gone and I’m back having to lose/maintain without that tool at its maximum effectiveness.

[ksun]

I had gastric sleeve 9 days ago so things are very fresh.

I had a 24 hour liquid diet, no two weeks or whatever. I spent the night which I am thankful for. I never had pain with the exception of a few gas pains. I did have soreness and tenderness at the main site which never was greater than a 2/10. It's still tender. I had no nausea. I had no pain killers besides Tylenol 500 and didn't need more. I do recommend a heating pad to help in case he does have gas pain, and I also slept on top of it when I slept on my left side. I could sleep on my stomach and side from day 1. I had no issues getting my fluids in from day 1.

Make sure to get up walking after surgery - they will have him do it in the hospital. It also helps with gas pains.

I had diarrhea for the first week. Immodium took care of that.

He'll have a 6 week progression to "regular" food. All surgeons are different in what you can and can't eat on these portions, but you need to concentrate on getting 60+ g of protein in starting week 2. I am allowed to drink with meals up til week 6, many people aren't. After week 6 there is no drinking 30 minute before or after meals. (this is for me, his plan may be different - almost EVERY surgeon says something different).

I would recommend he goes to support groups and talks to the dieticians. I had an ED that got me to this point, and the ED doesn't magically disappear.

You can definitely reach out if you want. I'm very fresh into the process.

[rubytue]

No input on the surgery, but what lessel said

I will say that the first week after surgery I was like WTF did I do?! I will never eat and life will never be the same again!

So much this. I had a couple minor surgeries in my 20s, and the same ones in my 40s. And so I knew I should be good within a few days, and when I wasn’t, OMG I was so scared I’d never recover. But, eventually I did. It will pass. But there will likely be a point where it feels like it’s forever. [/quote]

[lessel]

Jan 20, 2023 18:29:47 GMT -5 ksun said:

I am allowed to drink with meals up til week 6, many people aren't. After week 6 there is no drinking 30 minute before or after meals. (this is for me, his plan may be different - almost EVERY surgeon says something different).

This is SO interesting. I’ve never heard of a surgeon allowing the eating/drinking together but at that stage it actually makes so much sense. It was a mindfuck to figure out how to time eating and drinking when you have to space it out so much. Like there aren’t enough hours in the day to get 80oz of water + 60g of protein. It was pretty frustrating and definitely days where I was falling short on one or the other goal.

But yeah, the eating/drinking not together (theoretically forever) is something I thought would be a HUGE struggle for me and it’s honestly become NBD. It’s not even a thing that registers now. I do still separate and keep an eye on what time I finish eating. Early days I would set a timer on my phone.

Oh! About a month after surgery I struggled with reflux, which I’ve never had. It wasn’t like a burning but more of a fullness in my throat and not wanting to swallow. I did a two week course of Prilosec per my surgeon, but really didn’t want to be on that med forever. (Like frustrating to go into this elective thing on no meds and then come out with a chronic issue… it is a known risk though.) However, maybe this is just a thing that works for me but I drink alkaline water now and have zero reflux issues. I drink at least one large bottle (33oz) of alkaline before lunch and it helps.

[mags]

My BF had it about 3 years ago. She lost about 120 and has kept it off. Best thing she ever did. She looks amazing, feels amazing, and is so much healthier.

She stayed her for 2 weeks after surgery.

She had so problems with anesthesia so spent an extra night in hospital.

Baby spoons help slow down eating which is needed after surgery. She had to force herself to get the minimum intake for a couple of weeks.
He will need some measuring utensils. A lot of protein drinks I like Pure Protein the best. Crystal light, vitamin water, sugar free ice pops, and broth.

Good luck to both of you

[krystee]

Load up on Gas X. Fairlife is the only tolerable protein shake, IMO.

My mom made me a bunch of sugar free pudding, soups and ricotta bake and put them in small containers for me, and I was so eternally grateful.

I lost 90 lbs pre-pandemic with it and then the stress of an insane job, two kids at home, and general anxiety during the pandemic, plus the closure of my gym, kind of shot that all to hell. My big recommendation is avoiding slider foods (snacks that don’t make you feel full like protein does). It was my downfall.

[Bernadine]

Thank you all, I really appreciate the feedback!

[pl77]

Google “bathroom buddy”! It’s a long handled adaptive tool your spouse could use for wiping vs tongs.