I used to always donate all our good condition toys, books, games to the kids' preschool. My SIL is the director. I quit for a while because it aggravated me that I donated stuff to the preschool and SIL would take out a good chunk of stuff and give it to her granddaughter/our great niece. I know we don't know anyone's finances, but SIl and niece (mother of great niece) do not live like they are struggling in the least. So I quit and decided not to donate again until great niece was older and in elementary school. I donated today and SIL still took stuff out and gave it to her. I'm not saying anything as it's just one of several things that irk me about them and the bigger things I share with DH. I need to let this one go and resume donating elsewhere.
I don't understand how this is anything other than SIL stealing from the preschool, and I'm so WTF at her.
I used to always donate all our good condition toys, books, games to the kids' preschool. My SIL is the director. I quit for a while because it aggravated me that I donated stuff to the preschool and SIL would take out a good chunk of stuff and give it to her granddaughter/our great niece. I know we don't know anyone's finances, but SIl and niece (mother of great niece) do not live like they are struggling in the least. So I quit and decided not to donate again until great niece was older and in elementary school. I donated today and SIL still took stuff out and gave it to her. I'm not saying anything as it's just one of several things that irk me about them and the bigger things I share with DH. I need to let this one go and resume donating elsewhere.
I don't understand how this is anything other than SIL stealing from the preschool, and I'm so WTF at her.
Same. I have in the past given stuff directly to great niece, but her mother/niece is so entitled and just started expecting our stuff when DD outgrew things I quit. And great niece is spoiled, she is not hurting from my not giving her stuff.
she had salad dressing that we finally tossed after 21 years
😳😬 Gonna need some more details here. What color and consistency was it, as compared to what it would have been at time of purchase? I would not have been brave enough to open the bottle, but if you did, did it, like, off-gas or anything? Did you need to fumigate the kitchen afterward?
And if it looked/smelled pretty much the same, please share the brand so we know what to avoid.
Post by verycontrary247 on Feb 2, 2023 22:46:53 GMT -5
My husband and I are neurodivergent, we both have ADHD of varying severity and medication level.
There are a lot of ADHD shit he does on a regular basis but I don't hound him about because I know I'm also guilty of doing some of it. I will stress that it's dumb stuff. Taking the milk ring off and leaving it on the kitchen counter instead of throwing it away. Not closing the dresser drawers all the way. Accumulating clutter in various places. Forgetting to put leftovers away bc after dinner. Not opening mail.
Two or three times a year he will try to call me out on it like I'm the primary offender and he doesn't have the same issues. I start taking pictures of all the things I notice on a daily basis and normally give him a pass on and text them to him all throughout the day. His criticisms typically dry up within a day or so.
I don't understand how this is anything other than SIL stealing from the preschool, and I'm so WTF at her.
Same. I have in the past given stuff directly to great niece, but her mother/niece is so entitled and just started expecting our stuff when DD outgrew things I quit. And great niece is spoiled, she is not hurting from my not giving her stuff.
Find a different preschool to donate items to.
Regarding this topic, I think I am more guilty of petty thoughts than actions.
When my husband is taking too long to put his laundry away, thus leaving what I have washed, folded, and placed into a basket for him, in the middle of our bedroom floor, I will take it out and pile it on his dresser on top of all of his device chargers so he has to put it away.
There is this guy who annoys me on the regular at work. He's not a colleague, but for boring reasons I have to deal with him all the time. I use delay delivery on Outlook for him like a weapon. He gets his responses at exactly 1-2 minutes before technical COB. Always.
This isn't petty. It's funny, really. My DD had a little package of small adhesive googly eyes. A couple of months ago, unbeknownst to me or DH, she put googly eyes on all these random things. Googly eyes on the bird on the wall calendar. Googly eyes on the fridge magnet with a seal on it from the aquarium. Googly eyes on the horse logo on my bottle of olive oil.
It has been the funniest prank ever. I'm still finding googly eyes! (Also petty is dumb. Funny is better.)
DD did this a few years ago. We still have them in the fridge on the vegetable drawer and cheese drawer. She placed a tomato to align with the eyes. Now we randomly push certain foods to the front to make it have eyes. Currently DS has a yogurt with eyes
I'm more aggressive-aggressive than passive-aggressive, but when I was a sophomore in college, we had a roommate who was nothing but drama (as in, people I meet who went to college with us have asked me decades later, hey, didn't you live with That Girl?). Her main hobby, when not tormenting us, seemed to be having *extremely* loud shower sex with her boyfriend, occupying that bathroom forever. After months of this, my other two roommates and I took the shower head off the wall and hid it so that only we could shower (there was still a bathtub). Does that count?
A person who did business with our company was a truly bad dude. Egregiously cheated on his wife with a different girlfriend in each part of the country/world , did wildly inappropriate stuff at events, etc., and was so gauche. He once showed me his watch and was like, “Bet you can’t guess what this is and how much it costs,” like I was too stupid and poor to know what a Cartier watch was. He told me that “please advise” was business code for fuck you (duh, thanks for mansplaining, bro), so it gave me tremendous pleasure to add a “Please advise” to every third or fourth email I sent him from that day forward. He was way more important than I was by title, and I loved that he couldn’t get me in trouble because there was nothing technically wrong with my emails and all was professional, but he knew good and well what I was saying.
I honestly try and just mind my business at this stage in life, but...
When I was pregnant my now exSIL talked about how all of her pregnancies were terrible and that I would just be so uncomfortable the whole time. Well I actually had a fairly awesome pregnancy with minimal issues and so the few times we would see them I would make sure to just gush about how wonderful being pregnant was and how I was so thankful to just have such a great pregnancy, etc.
My husband and I are neurodivergent, we both have ADHD of varying severity and medication level.
There are a lot of ADHD shit he does on a regular basis but I don't hound him about because I know I'm also guilty of doing some of it. I will stress that it's dumb stuff. Taking the milk ring off and leaving it on the kitchen counter instead of throwing it away. Not closing the dresser drawers all the way. Accumulating clutter in various places. Forgetting to put leftovers away bc after dinner. Not opening mail.
Two or three times a year he will try to call me out on it like I'm the primary offender and he doesn't have the same issues. I start taking pictures of all the things I notice on a daily basis and normally give him a pass on and text them to him all throughout the day. His criticisms typically dry up within a day or so.
You described my H to a T. He loses stuff all the time, on top of everything you listed above....but he blames me and says I must have thrown it away - usually mail.
So now I never throw any mail away, I have an entire cabinet dedicated to piles of mail, bags of old mail in our basement, bins full of mail and old paperwork.
I like the picture idea, I could compile it into an album and give it to him for Christmas.
Post by starburst604 on Feb 3, 2023 8:36:09 GMT -5
My H used to come use the beer opener in our kitchen drawer and just leave the beer caps right there in the drawer. Wtf. So I started waiting until there was a handful and I’d put them inside his shoes.
Eventually I bought him a wall mounted beer opener with a cup that collects the caps and that finally eliminated the problem.
a few years ago a friend and I basically broke up. She was being ridiculous and was making me and other mutual friends uncomfortable with how insane she was being. She was driving us all crazy and pushed us all away, but blamed it on us. Thought she was better than all of us, judged our parenting, etc.
At the time Trump was coming to our state for a reelection rally. I registered her email address and cell # to get updates on the rally.
That is the only time I can think of doing something super petty.
My H used to come use the beer opener in our kitchen drawer and just leave the beer caps right there in the drawer. Wtf. So I started waiting until there was a handful and I’d put them inside his shoes.
Eventually I bought him a wall mounted beer opener with a cup that collects the caps and that finally eliminated the problem.
this reminds me of when we were first living together, H would just NOT put his laundry in the laundry basket. He would put them on the floor on his side of the bed. (He is still somewhat guilty of this, but not to the extreme he used to be). I would get so sick of it that I would push it into a giant pile on his side of the bed that was so large he could not get into bed until he put it in the hamper. I would do this a few times a year.
I’m a SAHM but have worked part time on and off. No matter what, I handle everything in the kitchen and all the laundry. When DH starts getting stressed and short with me, instead of being respectful, I pick through our laundry hamper and only do my laundry. I act surprised that he doesn’t have clean clothes. And I make his least favorite meal (spaghetti with marinara) for dinner. He’s caught on now and changes his attitude.
There was a manager at my first office job who was awful to underlings like me. She messed something up and blamed it on my coworker/friend and he got fired. That day I saw her in the ladies room and noticed that her skirt was tucked up into her underwear in the back. I gave her a big smile and told her to have a nice day as she walked out.
OK, I will share my petty thought. It is regards to the other woman from a few years ago. I was driving this past fall and I saw her out walking and I nearly did not recognize her because she had put on a significant amount of weight. In my horrible heart this made me a bit happy. Maybe in part because she always posted pictures of herself looking great and I know looks are very important to her and definitely in part because of knowing who the other person was added to my feelings of worthlessness.
Not so perfect now! (and I too have gained weight in the years since which is not making me feel too hot about myself, so I can totally see what I hypocrite I am and a jerk for these feelings and thoughts.)
This is not petty, this would be a big deal for me. I mean, he can’t help that he needed a new car, but to get your dream car and basically not let you drive it? What is the car, out of curiousity?
An all electric SUV. I’ve been following the electric market since its inception. So excited to move to electric. They’ve only made tiny cars like the leaf and the bolt. Finally a couple of SUV’s hit the market all at once right when he needed a new car.
He genuinely thought I’d be excited to have it. And I think he expected that we would share it. But it hasn’t worked out that way. We each keep stuff in our cars and it’s not convenient to switch a lot, especially when one car needs advanced planning to charge it etc. I am a bitter, bitter Betty about it. He knows. I’m open about it. It’s a running joke that he doesn’t really think is funny. He gets very defensive about how I can take it whenever I want.
Great, then you take it all the time now. Move your stuff in. You're driving that car to work everyday from now on.
(TBF, there have been several times when my H and I just have one car - once when we moved across the country and I was working from home 100%, and also now when we're both working from home 100%. In fairness, if I have to go to the office, I can also take the train. The car is in my name because it was better to get the car loan in my name when we bought it, although I had another car so it was "technically" supposed to be my H's car. We'll also likely trade it in this year for a newer one, which, again, will be our only car.)
My old company was SO dysfunctional that we had to create ridiculous work-arounds to get anything done. So, things devolved into petty-ness on the regular.
A good example was approving salaries for new hires and internal transfers to new positions. This was straight forward because we had grants that were specific to jobs/job titles. Except no, it became a mess. It went from ONE signature needed (director) on an authorization form needing THREE (coined the triple-form) to SIX signatures (every AVP, VP, and the ED). Yes, 5 signature were needed before ED would sign it. Not that any of these extra people had any idea of our budget, grant, needs, etc. and of course, no electronic signatures. This form was expected to be carried from office to office.
So, you can imagine the cluster. Anyway, since these same 6 people had a once a month team meeting, we started to stalk the meeting to ask for signatures - “Hey, you are all here, why don’t you all just pass this form around and all sign it?” They balked and stammered and did it or ignored it …
So, I got the admin assistant who controlled the agenda to put it on the agenda … which meant it became part of the meeting minutes … which went to the board.
Years ago someone joined our team for our weekly volleyball league. He dropped out or got injured (I can't remember which) by the second week. Problem was, H and I had fronted the full team fee and he had never paid us. Etiquette is to pay as soon as you join the team and if you end up not playing then you find someone to replace you to pay you back. We only had this guy's email address and he ignored all our messages. So I signed him up for a bunch of random email newsletters, many of them focused on women's issues, and hoped those sites would keep selling his email address indefinitely.
In college I lived in a house with two girls. One was my BFF and great but the other one while nice was extremely messy and never did anything around the house to help like take out the trash, etc. She would eat fast food all the time and literally leave all her trash out on the coffee table. My other roommate and myself started not picking it up and would set it in her room. She never said anything. I'm assuming she eventually threw it all away but who knows- her room was crazy messy. She also had a long haired cat that would throw up all over the house frequently. It passed away out of the blue and I was so happy the cat wouldn't be around anymore which is terrible of me to think.
Post by sparkythelawyer on Feb 3, 2023 11:49:50 GMT -5
I think I've told this one before, but here goes.
Back in HS, I was stuck on a group project with this absolute jerk of a girl who could not muster any sort of kindness or even basic manners my way.
I lost a bunch of the papers for the project, mostly mine. May have lost hers, I don't know.
But the teacher loved me because while I was not the greatest at college algebra/trig, I was polite, didn't show up late, wasn't a behavior problem, asked for help, etc.
Snotty girl was, well, snotty. But usually had a better grade in the class than me.
All I said to her, multiple times was, "I don't have your papers." She threw a fit. Teacher came to collect them, asked me what was up, and I said "She says she gave me her papers but I don't have them." Teacher made her re-do the whole damn thing, and snotty girl was sooooo pissed.
Whenever DH does something annoying around the house -- like not replacing the TP or taking his socks off and just leaving them on the floor — I leave a little rubber middle finger on/near it. (Got a package from Amazon -- well worth it!) I don't have to nag him and it totally gets the message across while cracking me up. He'll often take said mini hand and hold on to it for one of my transgressions, lol.
The best part is we never acknowledge or talk about it ... it's just a thing we both do now that's never been discussed.
Ohhhh the roommate thing. I've done some petty shit. My best friend was my roommate freshman and sophomore year before transferring. She would always take diet cokes from our mini fridge but never contributed. I knew she hated vanilla and vanilla coke came out freshman year so that's all I bought after that.
I had a roommate senior year who became a totally different person, it was wild. She started bullying me, and then started stealing my stuff. Like my thong underwear and she would WEAR THEM! At some point in the year I waited for her to go to class (and her minion roommate) and then I went into her room and stole all my stuff back. I threw the underwear in the trash, I just didn't want her to have them. Then I put a lock on my room. She's in private practice for child psychology now.
Post by litskispeciality on Feb 3, 2023 11:54:01 GMT -5
This may be a really low petty. I had an awful, almost creepy landlord who gave me a hard time when I moved out. I had just started a job at a for-profit semi diploma mill where we had to make 100 calls a day, and often called prospective students two to three times a day. I really debated putting his info in as a lead (which I needed for month to month) so he'd get harassed, but decided that was too cruel.
Post by sparkythelawyer on Feb 3, 2023 12:05:27 GMT -5
Oh.
So, when I was getting my masters, the department chair loathed me. Was so annoyed I was in her precious program, etc. I was working full time and doing as much of it remotely as I could. She didn't like that either.
My last semester was the semester that my mom went from diagnosis to death from pancreatic cancer in six weeks, my late husband had a terrifying car accident and was in a coma for five days, and my uncle died unexpectedly three days before my thesis was due. I was trying like crazy to get this damned thesis done because I just desperately needed to close this chapter of my life. Like, I had to log into my one class via video FROM THE FUNERAL HOME because my department head was requiring the professor to send him MY attendance information.
Low and behold, the week my thesis is due, MY faculty advisor (who would be responsible for grading my thesis and determining if I graduate), was somehow "sick" and couldn't grade it, so she was going to. I knew where this was going.
She basically insulted everything from how I wrote my name onward. Then told me "it wasn't worth reading past page 12," low-key accused me of plagarism, decided even my intro letter was somehow insufficient, etc. So, she failed me. As I knew she would, because she loathed me. She was the person who lived alone with multiple cats.
So, the next semester I cannot get anyone to actually provide me meaningful feedback on my thesis, tell me how to correct these grevious errors, etc. Not knowing what else to do, I give it one more solid edit, turn it back in. This time, my advisor was there, graded it and I passed.
I could have walked at graduation, but I had been there and done that. However, the department was paying for us all to go to a swanky lunch, which I decided to attend because I was going to make this woman come out of pocket for me after all that. And then, when she asked about my progression through the program, I had NO problem telling her, publicly, all about "I was working so hard to finish in the fall because (see above) ALL THESE THINGS happened, but then my advisor was out and the person who graded my paper was rather cruel and insulting and seemed bound and determined to make me feel bad for my thesis and forced me to re-submit it in the spring.
She looked all *shocked* and "OMG I cannot believe that happened to you!" I never mentioned her name. She knew it was her. I made a point over and over of saying, words to the effect of "Yeah, All I really wanted to do was close the door on 2011 in December, unfortunately the department felt the need to do otherwise. I'm just glad this is done now."
By the end of the lunch, she clearly felt bad. I, however, did not.
Whenever DH does something annoying around the house -- like not replacing the TP or taking his socks off and just leaving them on the floor — I leave a little rubber middle finger on/near it. (Got a package from Amazon -- well worth it!) I don't have to nag him and it totally gets the message across while cracking me up. He'll often take said mini hand and hold on to it for one of my transgressions, lol.
The best part is we never acknowledge or talk about it ... it's just a thing we both do now that's never been discussed.