IEP vent Last year SPED teacher put a note in DD's file that her annual meeting needed to happen before or after-tax season to accommodate mom's work schedule. Current SPED teacher...sends me a message Friday afternoon giving me 3 dates for her IEP meeting 2/8, 2/9, 2/15 all at 2:10pm. I responded that none of those days or times worked and could we either do it on a no school day first thing in the morning or wait until after tax season. Her response was they will have the meeting without me as I refuse to come. No those days and times don't work. I can't even phone call it in at that time because my office is a zoo at 2pm and we are booked out for those days.
For those teachers/school staff or other parents with IEPs...if I refuse to sign it can I force them to do a meeting that I can make? If I put my request to hold the meeting until X Day will that make the state happy? I'm willing to do it right after-tax deadline day.
Last year DD was online and SPED teacher and DD's teacher zoomed with me at 4pm and that was still hectic.
186momx, I'm sorry, that's really frustrating. I'm in the middle of getting an IEP established for DD2, so I don't really know a lot about it. I was just thinking that I need to follow up. DD2 has ADHD and executive functioning issues, and unfortunately her teacher also seems to have the very same issues. DD2 has anxiety around all of it, and her teacher's disorganization is exacerbating everything. I've had a hard time getting answers. We are also in a parochial school, so I don't think they're actually required to do anything...
Good luck - I hope you can get a good answer. Can you push back and state that there should be a note in the file about your lack of availability during tax season??
186momx- Section 300.322(a)(2) of the IDEA act states that the IEP meeting must be scheduled to allow one or both parents to attend and must be scheduled at A MUTUALLY AGREED UPON TIME. So they need to accommodate your schedule.
ETA- and in the 9th circuit there’s a federal case that says if push comes to shove, it’s more important for the parent to be accommodated than school personnel.
And the crowds are the worst. We avoid heading to mountains during any vacations or long weekends - I would rather pull the kids out of school and ski then... which means we don't go as often as I like. We skied Friday and it was a gorgeous day with an empty mountain, and were supposed to ski Sunday at a nicer resort, beause Sundays tend to be slower, and skipped Saturday all together.
sdlaura, DH and I are going to Breckenridge next month. I am.. going to be the only woman there. I've thought about backing out, but I really want to ski. This was an annual trip that was always co-ed, but as people got married and had babies, most of the women have dropped out - the last time I went was 10+ years ago. I've already bought my nephew plane tickets to come watch the kids and dog, so it seems silly to cancel just because I have a vagina. DH says come and I asked one of the guys, who also says come. Hopefully they all realize that I only do minimal cooking and cleaning.
k3am , I also refuse to minivan (despite four kids). I like to rent one for trips, but I don't actually drive a ton of kids around on a daily basis (3 of our 4 kids walk to school/daycare, and usually when we're driving one or two to sports, the little ones are still at preschool/daycare). So my everyday/going to work car is a sedan, and we drive the bigger car on weekends or if we happen to need it during the week.
I would also still go on the ski trip. I might plan a time to go to the spa or shop one of the days so the guys can have some guy hangout time. We're going to the snow next weekend with two other families, and I'm the only mom who participates in the skiing/snowboarding (I snowboard). The other two moms stay at the rental house and hang out and cook us some food. This year DH asked if he could stay with them one of the days and relax. So it will be me and the two other dads on the mountain. There's no way I'd pass up the pre-arranged childcare if I were you. I've never been to Breckinridge or any of the Colorado mountains - have fun!
Post by traveltheworld on Feb 8, 2023 12:58:18 GMT -5
Add me to the IEP woes. DS has an IEP that's very loosely followed - the key for him was to get him exempt from regular math so he could do his own thing. He did his own math program from grades 2 onwards.
DD, who is in grade 2, really wants to do the same program that DS did and is pushing for us to talk to her teacher about it. From experience, we know that this will involve getting her coded and having a formal IEP in place. The thing is - she's no where at the same level as DS was and wouldn't be able to do the program on her own without help. She thinks the teacher will help her, whereas we know that's not going to happen. So I really don't want to go through the fight to get her an IEP that'll just be useless.
OK so I need opinions, because this is weird, but DDOT...
My cousin J that lives far away texted me and another cousin G, inviting us to a "small lunch" for her mom's 92nd birthday. She will be flying in, her mom lives about 5 mins from me in assisted living. Her mom is my dad's only remaining sibling (out of 6 total kids, she's the oldest and he's the youngest, and everyone else passed away). My aunt is a horrible person and always has been. My dad doesn't speak to her. But I am on good terms with my cousin, so I said a tentative yes assuming alllll the COVID is out of my house.
I will add that I have 2 cousins that HATE me for unknown reasons, but I don't care because I think they're both insane.
So yesterday I ended up on another cousin text chain about family history for a class project. We were trying to piece things together because anyone with good history is gone or can't remember. Someone mentioned a photo of our grandfather (there are only a few and he died before I was born), and said, "I will bring a copy of it on Saturday"!
And then the text chain went silent.
I was invited on SUNDAY, not SATURDAY. And no one corrected my cousin that said Saturday.
SOOOO, I believe that there is a big party with MOST of my cousins, and a "small lunch" for me and one other cousin that is known to get along with me. And now I don't want any part of this nonsense.
What would you do? Would you go because you accepted? Or would you just say, "OH, sorry, I'm still testing positive and I can't enter a nursing home."
I guess it depends on whether I like the cousin enough - if I do, given that she made the special effort of organizing something, I'd see it as an opportunity to catch up with her and still go; but if you don't care about seeing that particular cousin, then I'd skip.
traveltheworld - I guess that's where I'm struggling. Cousin J would have scheduled both events, and for whatever reason, made the decision to exclude me from the larger event. And I don't really know why. I would never cause an issue, but one of my other cousins might if I'm there?
So I was excited to go, but my feelings are a little hurt that I was excluded from a larger family thing. We don't get together often. We are all in different points in lift (Cousin J has 2 grandkids and is closer to my dad's age than mine). But I feel very strange asking "is something happening on Saturday?" But maybe I should?
Post by supertrooper1 on Feb 8, 2023 14:15:54 GMT -5
k3am, go on the trip even if you're the only woman. I am often the only woman on our dirt bike adventures.
mae0111, I would clarify with the cousin that reached out to you. I would text something like, "just checking if it's Saturday or Sunday, since Cousin X mentioned Saturday. I don't want to get my days mixed up!"
mae0111 I like either supertrooper1's idea, or....I tend to be more direct. I would call instead of text and say something like "Is there something going on on Saturday? I feel like I'm out of the loop. I understand if you're celebrating with different family members on different days - I'd just like to know one way or the other."
mommyatty, thanks. I'm going to suggest the no school day in March to meet. DD has a dentist appointment at 8am so we could do a 9:15 IEP meeting as I need to take DD back home anyways. Plus I already blocked the early morning appointments due to dentist. I scheduled this dentist appointment for DD last June so it would least impact me and her.
I texted her, and it's as I suspected - two gatherings because I am not welcome at the first. She's in a difficult position because she is hosting at another cousin's house (again, she lived a 6 hour plane ride away), and that happens to be one of the cousins that does not care for me.
So I will give it some thought and decide what to do. I do want to be very careful to not bring COVID to a nursing home/long term care facility and to my wicked 92 year old aunt. It will just be easier if I'm still testing positive.
Post by supertrooper1 on Feb 8, 2023 17:04:15 GMT -5
mae0111, I think this cousin saved you from even more awkwardness by only inviting you Sunday and not to the group thing on Saturday. Positive, not negative. I would probably decline going to the nursing home but still try to meet up with your cousin. They seem like they're trying to include you when possible which is nice.
IEP vent Last year SPED teacher put a note in DD's file that her annual meeting needed to happen before or after-tax season to accommodate mom's work schedule. Current SPED teacher...sends me a message Friday afternoon giving me 3 dates for her IEP meeting 2/8, 2/9, 2/15 all at 2:10pm. I responded that none of those days or times worked and could we either do it on a no school day first thing in the morning or wait until after tax season. Her response was they will have the meeting without me as I refuse to come. No those days and times don't work. I can't even phone call it in at that time because my office is a zoo at 2pm and we are booked out for those days.
For those teachers/school staff or other parents with IEPs...if I refuse to sign it can I force them to do a meeting that I can make? If I put my request to hold the meeting until X Day will that make the state happy? I'm willing to do it right after-tax deadline day.
Last year DD was online and SPED teacher and DD's teacher zoomed with me at 4pm and that was still hectic.
They cannot. Email back and let them know they cannot have the meeting without you and give some times you can go. Go higher up if you don't get them to move it.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
supertrooper1 - that’s a good way to think about it. I’m not upset with her at all - she was in a tough spot. I’m just upset about the situation. It stinks all around, especially since I didn’t do anything to deserve the treatment.
DS’s teacher, who we all love, just gave the school her two weeks notice. He is going to go into a tailspin. Last year, school was flat out traumatic for him. That’s his therapist’s word for it. That he needed to get past his trauma. And now his super sweet teacher, who has worked so freaking hard to build trust with him, is leaving. Shit. His PE teacher is going to take over the class. He likes his PE teacher, but still, it’s a man and I can’t imagine he’s going to be as quiet and nurturing as his current teacher.
mommyatty - oh I’m so sorry. That’s so hard. What a strange time to be leaving school! So strange. I hope that the new teacher turns out to be a good match for your DS. My DD2 does not adjust well to change like this. I can usually talk things up enough and act excited enough to get her more comfortable, but it definitely takes time.
Beau is on his way to meet with the restaurant's landlord. There's a developer buying up the entire block to put in condos and his landlord is the last hold out. One of the three tenants in the building is closing and beau thinks it will be the nail in the coffin. The landlord is an old lady and the business that's closing was a knitting store that other old lady friends of hers owned for ever and ever. He wouldn't blame her at all for selling out and cashing in, but if she does, there goes the restaurant. They don't have the funds to start over again somewhere else and build out a whole new space. So that's a fun level of stress to add to the day.
DD's teacher is taking a leave of absense for "hopefully" 1.5 months.. I may have talked about him before, but he's.. different. Not in a bad way. In an overly excited about school and learning way. Runs laps with the kids before school, eats lunch with them (his break), stays after to play basketball with the kids. He's loud and likes the kids to be loud. He may have some level of ADHD himself (I honestly have absolutely no strong reason to speculate this), but his room is set up for wiggles and fidgeting and all kinds of accomodations for ADHD for the kids. We got daily communication from him about homework and any classroom issues. New sub is... obviously not. She sounds like an older woman, and according to DD, her two children were PERFECT growing up, and sub can't understand why they're so loud, why they don't sit still all the time, etc... It's been "fun." I have no idea how this is effecting academics, but I do know that DD comes home pissed off about class every day... So mommyatty, you have my sympathy. I hope he does okay.
erbear, mommyatty, I talked to my friend who teaches 1st grade in our district, and she said that she has never been to an IEP meeting without a parent present. I send head SPED teacher and email asking for 3/4 at 9:15. It is a no school day, and I can make it work. I got a response back with a tentative appointment.