We have an IEP meeting for next week! I have signed up for a parent support group that gives insight on how IEPs work and how to navigate the process too. I’m really hoping this is going to be the start to getting help and answers.
Its really not as bad as our situation so please don't let that worry you.
We have an IEP meeting for next week! I have signed up for a parent support group that gives insight on how IEPs work and how to navigate the process too. I’m really hoping this is going to be the start to getting help and answers.
Its really not as bad as our situation so please don't let that worry you.
I’m preparing myself for anything. I know there are always worse case scenarios and breezy situations. I hope we are in the middle. I am truly sorry you are having a hard time.
Post by pinkdutchtulips on Feb 23, 2023 12:29:53 GMT -5
I finally have all of the Vanderbilt surveys back from her teachers and they all say the same thing that J and I say. Fingers crossed I finally get the dx I feel like I've been chasing for 5 years. At the same time I don't want be disappointed again and feel like I'm back at square one. I'm in awe of parents who can get their kids' dx in a reasonable time frame (w/in a year). I still feel rage towards her original pedi and therapist who didn't do the most basic diagnostic evaluation (Vanderbilt survey) when she originally presented w significantly disruptive classroom behavior and anxiety FIVE years ago.
I tried to get her into inpatient on Tuesday bc her behavior has been negatively affecting not only her life but mine as well for quite some time but they denied her. She doesn't meet their threshold of being enough of a threat to herself or others.
They didn't directly admit fault but are allowing him to retest with 1 of his accommodations (1 on 1 or small group testing). We talked to a lawyer and she said they wouldn't have done that if the schools legal department hadn't spoken with them. So they are giving him 1 of his accommodations but insist the test doesn't allow for him to get the other. Lawyer recommended we wait to see if he gets in and if he doesn't then we pursue things further on the basis of them picking a test that actively discriminates against students who need accommodations.
namasteak I'm sorry it's come to needing a lawyer. I'm so glad things are finally happening with their help though. What an awful situation. (Hugs) I can untag you if you want.
pinkdutchtulips I hope you FINALLY get a diagnosis for your DD. I'm sorry it's been such a long stressful road.
imimahoney and regencygirl thanks for your replies about the b-mitzvah process. I read your replies last weekend but it’s so painful, I couldn’t bring myself to reply.
We are starting to check out schools for K. I have realized that K, and parenting her, can be a major point of stress in my marriage. IN part because H and me approach things with her from different angles. I love her, this has not about that, just the realization that from the start, she faced challenges which has had a ripple effect on our family. This is hard.
Post by lovelovelove on Feb 25, 2023 22:16:10 GMT -5
We are trying to decide if we should medicate for dds adhd. She's already medicated for anxiety which has been amazing for her. Our family psychologist said that adhd symptoms can seem to spike when you get anxiety under control and I think that's what's happening for her, but she's also had a time of other crap at school recently that might be adding to get focus and forgetfulness and anger and I want to give her time and space to work through that. But I don't want her to have to work so hard unnecessarily. I also just applied to a state-aided dyslexia tutoring program. She's happy about all of the help. But also just wants to do her own thing. My mom just finally told me all of my brothers' diagnosis (including ASD for 1 which I did know) - she didn't want to, and I was like "you need to for your grandchild!" Hopefully that also helps me move things into line to get dd support she needs. We were denied IEP in the fall, maybe she doesn't need it? But she's not in line with her peers.
Thank you for these threads. I wish the best to everyone. I'm so sorry for the struggles and so happy to read the successes.
We had the opposite situation in which we treated the ADHD first and held off on anxiety meds, and I wish we had treated both earlier. She struggles so hard when only one is addressed, and it's really hard to tease out the effect of situational stress. But once both were effectively managed (she's also in therapy), everything has gone so much more smoothly and she's so much happier. I hope you can find a good solution.
We had the opposite situation in which we treated the ADHD first and held off on anxiety meds, and I wish we had treated both earlier. She struggles so hard when only one is addressed, and it's really hard to tease out the effect of situational stress. But once both were effectively managed (she's also in therapy), everything has gone so much more smoothly and she's so much happier. I hope you can find a good solution.
We had the opposite situation in which we treated the ADHD first and held off on anxiety meds, and I wish we had treated both earlier. She struggles so hard when only one is addressed, and it's really hard to tease out the effect of situational stress. But once both were effectively managed (she's also in therapy), everything has gone so much more smoothly and she's so much happier. I hope you can find a good solution.
Thank you so, so much for sharing this.
I just saw the part about her being denied for an IEP. It took two attempts, two years apart to get DD a 504 plan. The accommodations seem minimal to someone who is neurotypical (rubrics, visual examples of projects, digital versions of everything so she doesn't have to take tons of written notes while trying to listen, an extra day for projects if necessary), but they have made middle school so much easier. The administration shouldn't have so much of an effect on how many kids are evaluated and receive accommodations/services, but there can be a definite chilling effect if the admin of a particular school makes it clear that they don't support accommodations/services unless the kid is several full grade levels behind. So don't give up.
I just saw the part about her being denied for an IEP. It took two attempts, two years apart to get DD a 504 plan. The accommodations seem minimal to someone who is neurotypical (rubrics, visual examples of projects, digital versions of everything so she doesn't have to take tons of written notes while trying to listen, an extra day for projects if necessary), but they have made middle school so much easier. The administration shouldn't have so much of an effect on how many kids are evaluated and receive accommodations/services, but there can be a definite chilling effect if the admin of a particular school makes it clear that they don't support accommodations/services unless the kid is several full grade levels behind. So don't give up.
Again thank you for sharing!! My dd has a 504 with similar accommodations (she's in 4th) so it's good to hear that this is helpful in middle school for your dd also, bc the jump from upper elementary to middle is something I'm concerned about. You've done an amazing job and lots of work!
I don’t think I’ve posted in a while in the SN/ASD thread because it was going ok-ish.
I got a text from his scout leader a few weeks ago that he was saying inappropriate things at scouts. I usually am there but had a sick kid and couldn’t come in. Then he lost his mind over the weekend at a birthday party. Screaming at me in public. It was so frustrating.
Now he’s just got suspended from school and smashed his chrome book screen. His version is that he asked to take a break to the sensory room twice. Was denied. Got mad when the teacher told him what to do on his chrome book as he was already doing that. Smashed his computer and ran out of the room. Principal told me “no idea why he got mad but he threw his computer and jacket and yelled at the teacher and ran from the classroom.” So I had to email the principal that he asked for a break which follows his IEp and was denied, leading to this unfortunate series of events. Then the principal called back to say he did go on a walk with another teacher and then came back to the classroom, sat in the doorway and then came in mad.
I just got an email with a notice of a case conference for next week. I originally panicked because it’s marked as a manifestation determination and the first thing that I googled made it sound a bit like he may be placed elsewhere for school. But I think it’s because he’s had 10 days of suspension this year. Ugh. And I probably owe a few hundred dollars for his Chromebook
tealblue , since you have an IEP the MD can be in your best interest. Do you have an advocate? If not, make sure you have "phrases" but basically its that it was because of his disability and them not providing him FAPE that he did xyz, not because he was being a jerk. But yes, it is the law after 10 suspensions. Don't let them steamroll you in the MD meeting, they are created to protect kids with disabilities and I feel like schools are taking control of them.
tealblue , since you have an IEP the MD can be in your best interest. Do you have an advocate? If not, make sure you have "phrases" but basically its that it was because of his disability and them not providing him FAPE that he did xyz, not because he was being a jerk. But yes, it is the law after 10 suspensions. Don't let them steamroll you in the MD meeting, they are created to protect kids with disabilities and I feel like schools are taking control of them.
Thank you! I reached out to an advocate this morning (my sister uses her and I also talked to her earlier this year) but haven’t heard back yet. I was just freaking out that he was going to get sent to a different school. I will read the link- thanks for sending it!
My kid's ADHD symptoms are out of control. The self harm has stopped and the more ASD style symptoms are down, but the movement and energy level are out of control. (knocked the chorus teacher's stand down. HTF do you do that from across the room on the risers where you were supposed to be sitting? Obviously not in their seat.) It's whack a mole.
I wonder if there is something about oncoming puberty that needs something coded from their missing chunk of DNA. (missing instructions for how to build something? When to turn it on/off? I know there is a crucial protein in that missing section. blarg.) What if the heart problems they have escaped so far are going to come up? Okay. I'm clearly not going to be able to sleep tonight.
And they don't qualify for speech services, because being at the 4% level for a measurement and 9% for a bunch of others isn't enough. they need to be below 7% on two. The same people who are telling me my kid is out of control are also telling me there is nothing they can do because they aren't testing low enough. Blarg.
Post by mysteriouswife on Mar 3, 2023 12:58:48 GMT -5
I spoke with the speech teacher this morning. I have a feeling they are leaning toward Tourette’s with SPD. He is getting an IEP which opens him up for additional services and possible more opportunities for DX. The official meeting is on Thursday now.
Post by pinkdutchtulips on Mar 3, 2023 13:57:37 GMT -5
We have the psych eval scheduled for 3/16 and the appt w her pedi Re the Vanderbilt surveys 3/22 … at this point I want answers and a course of treatment.
The 2wk IS experiment has failed miserably. She goes back to school on Monday but she’s already telling me that she’s going to do anything to avoid going to school so we have full blown school refusal. I am at the end of my rope w her. Lord grant me the strength to make it to 3/16.
Post by mysteriouswife on Mar 8, 2023 21:38:16 GMT -5
I didn’t feel this needed a new thread. DS’ IEP meeting was postponed due to weather. Tomorrow should be his meeting and the last opportunity before time expires. (I don’t fully understand what that means) DS has strep. They asked for us to move the meeting virtual. How in the hell am I supposed to keep him out of the meeting if I’m at home? He is a stage 5 clinger when sick. I barely was able to work today.
Post by liveintheville on Mar 9, 2023 14:46:19 GMT -5
We just came back from his yearly IEP meeting. L’s in 7th grade and we’re trying to prep him for high school. So we’re cutting back on services from weekly to every other week. I’m nervous about this but think it’s the right thing to do. He’s fully integrated subject wise. Just has OT and therapy. I guess we’ll just have to see how it goes.
And for all of you struggling to get services I feel your pain. When we started the process in kindergarten we got a lot of push back. It wasn’t until we had a meeting that L was present for (because he had thrown up that day he wasn’t in school) and they’re going on about how he’s verbal and there’s no problem when L says something. H and I understood it but we were like did any of you understand what he just said? And they’re like no. And then we got an IEP.
I didn’t feel this needed a new thread. DS’ IEP meeting was postponed due to weather. Tomorrow should be his meeting and the last opportunity before time expires. (I don’t fully understand what that means) DS has strep. They asked for us to move the meeting virtual. How in the hell am I supposed to keep him out of the meeting if I’m at home? He is a stage 5 clinger when sick. I barely was able to work today.
I feel even more frustrated after the meeting. H is in defensive mode. He refused to believe anything was wrong until he witnessed a meltdown at 3/4 for preschool orientation. DS was asked not to attend the program. That’s when H agreed he needed help. Now that an IEP is in place H is feeling some sort of way, but won’t talk about it. I asked if we needed to have a doctor assessment in addition to the school. The school nor H felt it’s necessary. We all agree there is something there, but can’t determine what. The IEP includes speech, additional time for work, optional reading aloud, no class presentations until more skills are developed, and his 504 accommodations. At this point I am ready to give up. Oh and the icing on the cake? They had the wrong kid’s name halfway through the document. Page 2 and 3 had Wyatt. DS is not named anything near that. 😢
I didn’t feel this needed a new thread. DS’ IEP meeting was postponed due to weather. Tomorrow should be his meeting and the last opportunity before time expires. (I don’t fully understand what that means) DS has strep. They asked for us to move the meeting virtual. How in the hell am I supposed to keep him out of the meeting if I’m at home? He is a stage 5 clinger when sick. I barely was able to work today.
Legally the school district has x amount of days to complete their end of the IEP process. So the testing and meeting with the parents. If they don't hold up their end you as the parent can get legal assistance to make them comply. There might be monetary consequences from the state or federal level too but I'm not sure about that.
DS(6) has been at almost every IEP meeting including the one over zoom when he was sick. The only one he's missed was during school hours and they weren't going to pull him from recess for that. Usually the meetings are between 8am-9am or 3:30pm-4pm.
We had our autistic DS(6) tested for intellectual disabilities and we have our meeting with the school psychologist to discuss the results on March 16th. He has struggled hard this year unless he gets individualized help which his classroom teacher obviously can't do as much as he's needing. He's already spending time in the resource room 1x/week as needed so this will potentially get him more resource room time to get him the help he needs.
I didn’t feel this needed a new thread. DS’ IEP meeting was postponed due to weather. Tomorrow should be his meeting and the last opportunity before time expires. (I don’t fully understand what that means) DS has strep. They asked for us to move the meeting virtual. How in the hell am I supposed to keep him out of the meeting if I’m at home? He is a stage 5 clinger when sick. I barely was able to work today.
Legally the school district has x amount of days to complete their end of the IEP process. So the testing and meeting with the parents. If they don't hold up their end you as the parent can get legal assistance to make them comply. There might be monetary consequences from the state or federal level too but I'm not sure about that.
DS(6) has been at almost every IEP meeting including the one over zoom when he was sick. The only one he's missed was during school hours and they weren't going to pull him from recess for that. Usually the meetings are between 8am-9am or 3:30pm-4pm.
I just assumed he could not attend since he’s never been at his 504 meetings. They said it was fine if he wanted to be part of the process. Thankfully he was sleeping until the last 10 mins when I stepped out. H finished the call.
We had our follow up meeting with the IEP team about the intellectual and academic testing we had done for DS(6). His intelligence is right where it should be for a 1st grader. His academics are not. So his IEP team be adding in 1:1 help 1x/week in addition to the 4x/week small group help he's already receiving.
Post by pinkdutchtulips on Mar 20, 2023 10:30:02 GMT -5
Miss R had a meeting w a psychiatrist on Thursday. The big takeaways were OCD and DMDD. We were referred out for a neuropsych eval to see what the extent of the ADHD is before we start treating the OCD & DMDD. Wednesday we have a meeting w her pedi to go over the Vanderbilt survey results. I'm really hoping we can get the ADHD dx then and there. Thursday we have the meeting re the Behavior Intervention Plan to go along her IEP. My fear is that while we are trying to right her ship so to speak, she's refusing to help herself. As a parent, its maddening that she just doesn't care and her refusal has a ripple effect beyond herself that she refuses to see.
Also .. I hate School Refusal. Her district shutting down schools for the ENTIRE year caused this. She hasn't gotten back into the swing of school in the 18 months they've been back. There is no reason for her to refuse school other than she did it for a year when they were distance learning. Now that she's back in school, school is an annoyance. It drives me bonkers.
pinkdutchtulips, we have a dmdd diagnosis. I am not sure if this is a new diagnosis for you but we are on a brain based med combination that has been life changing. We went from an inpatient stay to no rages. the website rdmdd.org has all the information they also have a facebook page. There are also a few other dmdd parent support groups on facebook that have been really helpful through our challenges.
pinkdutchtulips , we have a dmdd diagnosis. I am not sure if this is a new diagnosis for you but we are on a brain based med combination that has been life changing. We went from an inpatient stay to no rages. the website rdmdd.org has all the information they also have a facebook page. There are also a few other dmdd parent support groups on facebook that have been really helpful through our challenges.