Battle for the Soul of Buy Nothing

[pugz]

But I really LOVE buy nothing because there are so few places that take donations that won't just re-sell it and sometimes it's really random stuff you can't donate like half a thing of Christmas sprinkles or a used water bottle. (both things I've given away this year, lol)

[rhian]

I'm surprised at the resistance to the Buy Nothing encouragement to let things "simmer." My group's boundaries cut across a part of relatively affluent suburb and part of a less affluent city, which I believe was done intentionally to address some of the issues of segregation discussed above. Our mods have recently encouraged posters to let things simmer for 24 hours when possible, in order to not privilege members who are able to be on Facebook more often, which I appreciate, because it's more likely to be residents of the affluent suburb who have more flexible job/schedules that allow them to claim things first. I get that there times when fast pickup is needed, but I find it hard to believe that waiting a day or so really makes much of a difference most of the time.

To the point re: trying to get Buy Nothing off Facebook. I appreciate that doing so would make sense, but it's so hard to migrate entire communities! I actually tried to download and use the Buy Nothing app at some point, but found it clunky, so I deleted it pretty quickly and just continued to use Facebook. Interesting to read more about how that process came about.

[konapoppy]

Mar 1, 2023 14:37:10 GMT -5 rhian said:

I'm surprised at the resistance to the Buy Nothing encouragement to let things "simmer." My group's boundaries cut across a part of relatively affluent suburb and part of a less affluent city, which I believe was done intentionally to address some of the issues of segregation discussed above. Our mods have recently encouraged posters to let things simmer for 24 hours when possible, in order to not privilege members who are able to be on Facebook more often, which I appreciate, because it's more likely to be residents of the affluent suburb who have more flexible job/schedules that allow them to claim things first. I get that there times when fast pickup is needed, but I find it hard to believe that waiting a day or so really makes much of a difference most of the time.

To the point re: trying to get Buy Nothing off Facebook. I appreciate that doing so would make sense, but it's so hard to migrate entire communities! I actually tried to download and use the Buy Nothing app at some point, but found it clunky, so I deleted it pretty quickly and just continued to use Facebook. Interesting to read more about how that process came about.

I let things simmer that I know will be popular.

But items that only one person may want? I find that the person is more likely to not follow through if they have to wait 24 hours. It’s almost like impulse shopping.

[chedifuen]

Mar 1, 2023 14:37:10 GMT -5 rhian said:

I'm surprised at the resistance to the Buy Nothing encouragement to let things "simmer." My group's boundaries cut across a part of relatively affluent suburb and part of a less affluent city, which I believe was done intentionally to address some of the issues of segregation discussed above. Our mods have recently encouraged posters to let things simmer for 24 hours when possible, in order to not privilege members who are able to be on Facebook more often, which I appreciate, because it's more likely to be residents of the affluent suburb who have more flexible job/schedules that allow them to claim things first. I get that there times when fast pickup is needed, but I find it hard to believe that waiting a day or so really makes much of a difference most of the time.

To the point re: trying to get Buy Nothing off Facebook. I appreciate that doing so would make sense, but it's so hard to migrate entire communities! I actually tried to download and use the Buy Nothing app at some point, but found it clunky, so I deleted it pretty quickly and just continued to use Facebook. Interesting to read more about how that process came about.

Personally, I have had a terrible rate of pick up when I let thing simmer. If I post it as I need this gone by the end of the weekend, I have a way better chance of the person following through. 

[icedcoffee]

If I post midweek I usually will let things simmer, but if I post on the weekend I choose quickly because I'm assuming they may want to come grab it over the weekend.

[Scout'sHonor]

I joined ours a while ago and didn't understand it. I much prefer to list stuff for free on FB marketplace or within a private group I'm in.

[redheadbaker]

I prefer the “rigid” rules like “let things simmer,” otherwise people who aren’t able to be on FB all day, every day don’t have a chance at any of the gifted items.

My annoyance is with people who request to join, don’t read the rules, and are then surprised (and rude) that most items aren’t FCFS. I gifted an Instant Pot because I upgraded to one with an air fryer lid. Some guy posted he wanted it, immediately PM’ed me to arrange pickup, and was really rude when I pointed him to the group rules. This has happened with so many items I’ve posted, I’ve stopped gifting through that group.

[bugandbibs]

I have always loved the idea of Buy Nothing, but I have never joined because I don't facebook (and never will). I like the idea of it being on a different platform, although I recognize the difficulty associated with that. At this point, I just try and offer up things through word of mouth but it does make it hard to re-home quality stuff.

[rhian]

Mar 1, 2023 16:42:28 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

I prefer the “rigid” rules like “let things simmer,” otherwise people who aren’t able to be on FB all day, every day don’t have a chance at any of the gifted items.

My annoyance is with people who request to join, don’t read the rules, and are then surprised (and rude) that most items aren’t FCFS. I gifted an Instant Pot because I upgraded to one with an air fryer lid. Some guy posted he wanted it, immediately PM’ed me to arrange pickup, and was really rude when I pointed him to the group rules. This has happened with so many items I’ve posted, I’ve stopped gifting through that group.

So frustrating! I think the Buy Nothing guidelines are pretty clear to avoid "first comment gets it" whenever possible, so it seems to me that those who don't prefer that method (which is fine, and I understand why) should choose another type of sharing group. I actually chose to join my neighborhood's Buy Nothing group instead of another "free stuff" group, because the policy in that group is that you *must* give to the first commenter (and I suppose work your way down if that falls through?), and I didn't like that.

[sent]

I tend to not use the Buy Nothing group near me because it spans too many towns so there has to be a discussion of where we are located and if it’s too far. People post things for free in our local BST group and it’s annoying because you are supposed to post in the comments that you are interested but people send PMs because I think they are too proud to announce they want something for free when they can afford it. I see this a lot in the mom’s group where I get lots of PMs and very few responses on the actual post.

But I’ve never seen discussions on why people need the items or neighborly stories even on the actual BN group.

[macmars45]

Mar 1, 2023 17:23:42 GMT -5 sent said:

I tend to not use the Buy Nothing group near me because it spans too many towns so there has to be a discussion of where we are located and if it’s too far.

Same with mine. It's basically my entire county. And most people don't post where they are located in their original post. They wait for someone to comment & ask. So I have no way of knowing if it's a 5 minute drive or an hour drive unless I ask or someone else does.

[gretchenindisguise]

Ours is great.

They prefer you to simmer, but are ok with flash gifting. They don’t care how you pick a person- I tend toward random number generators or having my kids pick a number. They require you to post location. Several are really nice folks that offer their trucks for transportation of things or to pick up orders from Penzys or Ikea if they are also going.

[heygrey]

Mar 1, 2023 14:37:10 GMT -5 rhian said:

I'm surprised at the resistance to the Buy Nothing encouragement to let things "simmer." My group's boundaries cut across a part of relatively affluent suburb and part of a less affluent city, which I believe was done intentionally to address some of the issues of segregation discussed above. Our mods have recently encouraged posters to let things simmer for 24 hours when possible, in order to not privilege members who are able to be on Facebook more often, which I appreciate, because it's more likely to be residents of the affluent suburb who have more flexible job/schedules that allow them to claim things first. I get that there times when fast pickup is needed, but I find it hard to believe that waiting a day or so really makes much of a difference most of the time.

To the point re: trying to get Buy Nothing off Facebook. I appreciate that doing so would make sense, but it's so hard to migrate entire communities! I actually tried to download and use the Buy Nothing app at some point, but found it clunky, so I deleted it pretty quickly and just continued to use Facebook. Interesting to read more about how that process came about.

I am one of those people who are offline for long chunks of time while at work! That's part of why, as a giver, I don't enjoy letting it simmer. I don't have time to revisit a post a day later, select a recipient, wait for a reply, schedule a pick up, etc. If I'm posting an item today, it's because I have time to manage the follow up today. And personally I find in both gifting and selling items, the longer wait time between someone expressing interest and actually picking up the item, the more likely I am to have them flake out. 

It's fine. I'm not trying to change BN and am happy using a different platform that suits my needs better. I was just excited when a BN chapter finally started in my area because I like giving things away and I like that it's local to my specific neighbourhood. The culture of this group may change over time so I'm still a member, but right now I'm not active on it. 

[heygrey]

Mar 1, 2023 14:06:40 GMT -5 pugz said:

But I really LOVE buy nothing because there are so few places that take donations that won't just re-sell it and sometimes it's really random stuff you can't donate like half a thing of Christmas sprinkles or a used water bottle. (both things I've given away this year, lol)

I have feelings about donating to the big for profit donation centre/second hand stores, but I don't mind local organizations running a thrift store and selling donated items. For several years, I worked for a shelter that predominately supported unhoused men. We received tons of donations and many where used within our organization - clothing, bedding, furniture and household items given to people who found housing. But there were also a large portion of donations that were quality items, but not of use to us. We ran a thrift store and made money that went directly back into our organization. There are several non-profits in my city who have a similar structure and I will happily donate to any of them. If they can pass on my items to someone in need, great! If they can make money off my stuff and use it to support their programming, great! 

[nellgirl]

Buy nothing drama!? Wow!
Our group sprouted roughly 2 years ago and is now capped (so new members are only admitted when others leave). Half of the people let posts simmer, others give to the first responder. We have a mix of stories and just ‘interested’. It’s a super friendly group, and very community-minded.
I’ve mostly used it to get rid of old kid stuff that we’ve outgrown, and I’ve gotten a good mix of sports equipment, gardening things, and stuff for my classroom.

[joy]

My only problem with “let it simmer” is that I forget. I get caught up in other stuff then see the items somewhere three days later and think “did I not give these away yet? Oh damn, they were simmering!” Then I gotta find the post again… blah.

[scm1011]

Mar 2, 2023 6:57:41 GMT -5 joy said:

My only problem with “let it simmer” is that I forget. I get caught up in other stuff then see the items somewhere three days later and think “did I not give these away yet? Oh damn, they were simmering!” Then I gotta find the post again… blah.

Same. This probably sounds awful, but my intention is not really to help out my fellow neighbor - it's to get something out of my house while making sure it doesn't end up in a landfill. I don't have the energy or time to follow rigid guidelines or follow up with people who want to pick it up a week from Tuesday and then ghost. You can get this out of my house by end of day tomorrow? Great, its yours. 

[rubytue]

Mar 2, 2023 8:35:11 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Mar 2, 2023 6:57:41 GMT -5 joy said:

My only problem with “let it simmer” is that I forget. I get caught up in other stuff then see the items somewhere three days later and think “did I not give these away yet? Oh damn, they were simmering!” Then I gotta find the post again… blah.

Same. This probably sounds awful, but my intention is not really to help out my fellow neighbor - it's to get something out of my house while making sure it doesn't end up in a landfill. I don't have the energy or time to follow rigid guidelines or follow up with people who want to pick it up a week from Tuesday and then ghost. You can get this out of my house by end of day tomorrow? Great, its yours. 

I’m with you. And I really feel that when I encounter people without transportation. Chances are they are in need, but yet… I just want a low effort gone. Like the person who wanted me to deliver dog stairs on Christmas Eve (and told me she needed delivery after a couple back and forths and a “I’ll put it on my covered porch and you can stop by anytime”).  I am no someone who delivers. 

[scm1011]

Mar 2, 2023 9:08:38 GMT -5 rubytue said:

Mar 2, 2023 8:35:11 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Same. This probably sounds awful, but my intention is not really to help out my fellow neighbor - it's to get something out of my house while making sure it doesn't end up in a landfill. I don't have the energy or time to follow rigid guidelines or follow up with people who want to pick it up a week from Tuesday and then ghost. You can get this out of my house by end of day tomorrow? Great, its yours. 

I’m with you. And I really feel that when I encounter people without transportation. Chances are they are in need, but yet… I just want a low effort gone. Like the person who wanted me to deliver dog stairs on Christmas Eve (and told me she needed delivery after a couple back and forths and a “I’ll put it on my covered porch and you can stop by anytime”).  I am no someone who delivers. 

Oh heck no. Thankfully I live in a city with great public transport so that isn't an issue, but I am absolutely not going to deliver a free good to someone. I don't even want to talk to people - on my porch it goes and you can grab it there. 

[heygrey]

Mar 2, 2023 8:35:11 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Mar 2, 2023 6:57:41 GMT -5 joy said:

My only problem with “let it simmer” is that I forget. I get caught up in other stuff then see the items somewhere three days later and think “did I not give these away yet? Oh damn, they were simmering!” Then I gotta find the post again… blah.

Same. This probably sounds awful, but my intention is not really to help out my fellow neighbor - it's to get something out of my house while making sure it doesn't end up in a landfill. I don't have the energy or time to follow rigid guidelines or follow up with people who want to pick it up a week from Tuesday and then ghost. You can get this out of my house by end of day tomorrow? Great, its yours. 

I typed and deleted nearly this exact sentence several times when replying last night. When I'm giving things away my goal is to be environmentally conscious, not charitable. I'm fine if that makes me a jerk. I am charitable in other aspects of my life, this just isn't one of them. 

[Velar Fricative]

I know Buy Nothing is its own official thing, but we have lots of non-BN free giveaway local groups. I got so tired of there being a million of them for my borough so now I just post things on FB Marketplace for free, especially because I feel like not everyone joins every single group and they don't have to even join any groups to see the marketplace. I get a lot of quick takers this way. And yes, pick it up on the porch, I don't need to get to know my neighbors in this manner lol.

My biggest annoyance is when I very clearly show what borough I'm in and what my ZIP code is, where it shows a nice handy map of my general area, and someone agrees to take something and then when I tell them my neighborhood they're like "Oh damn, I'm in Queens and that seems far." Like, no shit. Look at the damn listing! I wouldn't drive that far for free shit either unless I was already going to be in the area for other necessary reasons.

[Velar Fricative]

Mar 2, 2023 9:35:29 GMT -5 heygrey said:

Mar 2, 2023 8:35:11 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Same. This probably sounds awful, but my intention is not really to help out my fellow neighbor - it's to get something out of my house while making sure it doesn't end up in a landfill. I don't have the energy or time to follow rigid guidelines or follow up with people who want to pick it up a week from Tuesday and then ghost. You can get this out of my house by end of day tomorrow? Great, its yours. 

I typed and deleted nearly this exact sentence several times when replying last night. When I'm giving things away my goal is to be environmentally conscious, not charitable. I'm fine if that makes me a jerk. I am charitable in other aspects of my life, this just isn't one of them. 

I mean, I like to think I'm both. Not in a "pat myself on the book for being so generous" kind of way, but why throw something out that's in otherwise solid condition when surely someone in my area might have a need for it and would love to have it for free? 

[pixy0stix]

All of this is why I end up with a room full of shit I no longer want/need but haven't gotten rid of yet. People give me anxiety. LOL!

[rubytue]

I do feel a bit hypocritical, I admit. Thanksgiving eve 2021, we found mice had gotten into our pantry. I posted an ask for mouse traps at like 8pm, because mice, stores packed and closing, etc. And some blessed soul sent their husband by to drop off two mouse traps. Said he was going out and in my area. Clearly I would have driven almost anywhere but a store. Some people are better than me.

edit - ha! I edited the wrong post. Apparently I have lots to say here.

[penguingrrl]

I use a local buy, sell, swap site pretty frequently, and often give things away on it because I can’t deal with trying to get payment and want to avoid it going to a landfill.

I am very glad mine is very strictly FCFS. I want it out of my house, I’m not letting it simmer for hours and choosing who gets it. I’ve never seen anything but interested or possibly interested, what are the dimensions type questions.

I would never want to see the people, let me leave it on my front stoop and you come get it anonymously please. That seems both preferable to this introvert and safer.

[definitelyO]

I left a local BN group it was too much hassle. People would say they wanted something and communicate up until the point where they never showed up for a PPU or a meet up. Wasted WAY too much of my time. about 2 out of every 3 ended up that way and I was tired of giving out my address or wasting my time waiting at a meet up point. Then see them on-line again but can't send 1 FB message? Didn't work for me. Now I donate to a local charitable (free) organization - it's more work sometimes as the drop off times aren't great - but they don't resell and I don't have the continued hassle...

[Susie]

I joined my town's BN group maybe 1.5 year ago, and since then I've done probably 60 or so gives.  I have been amazed at what goes fast vs. what sits.  Tacky glittery candle that I got an office white elephant gift exchange?  GONE.  Totally useful sauce pan?  Nobody interested.  

I usually let stuff simmer a few days unless it's a really odd give that's unlikely to find a 2nd taker, and I use wheelofnames.com to choose an "interested" name.  I find that I have way better pickup rates if I DM the recipient myself to schedule pickup than if I tag them and say "DM me to arrange pickup."  That mildly annoys me, but I usually do it anyway because I just want the stuff gone.  I can't imagine how much lower the response rate would be if people had to go back into a unique app to check back to see if they were selected for a give.  I just can't see it working.  

[susiebw]

I'm another one who is just here to get it out of my house. The other day I was heading out and I left something on my steps before I even had someone interested in it, with the expectation that someone would be and I could just FB from the car and send them over.

My local group is drama-free from what I've seen. There is a mix of "interested" vs "here's a saga of why I need this item," and of FCFS vs simmering, but IME no one seems to get annoyed by either sort of listing. I mostly just see things float by in my FB feed, and would never use it if I had to use a separate app for it.

[rubytue]

Speaking of… I had a long shot ask a week ago looking for fencing gear. Had one reply discussing fencing, but no offers. And then today, somone posts a load of their old fencing gear, but did not let it simmer. You win some, you lose some.

edit - well technically I don’t know it didn’t simmer. There was one other person interested, and giver liked it, but no reply saying they were selected. So maybe I stand a chance? I’m now obessessivly checking for updates. My H thinks this will be “anither passing fancy”. And maybe he is right, but it’s the only sport I’ve ever been good at and kept up with, for about 8 years in my 20s. But sure, it would be better to start with used gear, because it’s pricey to start from scratch. 

[DotAndBuzz]

wow, our BN group is so chill compared to these stories!
I've gotten rid of SO much that way.

If I have too much to list, like when I cleared out crafting supplies, I did a post with a few pictures, and said I'm putting this out in 3 days at X time, too much to list, LMK if you want my address, from there it's first come first serve. And I usually have a box of randoms that I don't feel like listing (yet) there for people to pick through too. We have a can and bottle deposit/return here and people even list their returnables, which is basically cash in your pocket.

I don't mind letting popular items simmer for a day or so, but I always give things a week max, and say so in my posts. It is donated on such and such date, if you can't pick it up by then, it's not going to be here