@ March Randoms

[sonrisa]

This weekend's This American Life had me hyperventilating. Politically related @

One part about Idaho abortion laws one part LGBTQ people fleeing Russia.

A journalist was talking about leaving for the US years ago when Russia banned adoptions by same sex couples. The interviewer then said "Do you think you might need to immigrate again [from the US]?" and the adult journalist replied "Well, if they ban my affirming hormone treatment I'll have to move for health reasons."

Which practically made me pull over. Because it's a real risk. These bans are starting to involve adult healthcare as well.

[seeyalater52]

I am just at a total loss. This episode made me cry, although I cry almost every day these days so I suppose it is no longer remarkable.

In truly @ randoms J is right on the cusp of 2.5 and is absolutely DELIGHTFUL at this age. I am so obsessed with him. He talks so much now (was very slow to start) and can express himself and is hilarious and so sweet. He climbed out of the crib 2 weeks ago so we made the jump to a toddler bed and he didn’t have a single blip in his sleep routine. He’s still sleeping straight through like he always has and stays in the bed in the morning until I go get him up even when he’s awake and singing to himself or reading a book (he goes to bed with 3 every night) and I’m so relieved it didn’t mess things up because he’s always been a phenomenal sleeper. He is the perfect kid.

I swear if they try to take him from us they will unleash a fury they’ve never seen before in this world.

[formerlyak]

Some girl in my third grader’s class attacked 5 classmates, including DS, with her hard lunchbox. One kid was bashed in the back of the head and had trouble staying awake in the nurse’s office. DS got it in the jaw and throat. Apparently it started when DS and friends saw her hitting the first kid and told her to stop. Then she turned on them.

Girl has had ongoing anger issues and it has now turned to violence against other students.

Principal called me (and all involved) last night and said there would be consequences for the girl.

But …

girl was back in class like nothing happened today. It’s infuriating. Apparently suspensions aren’t a thing anymore?

[penguingrrl]

Mar 7, 2023 21:14:16 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

Some girl in my third grader’s class attacked 5 classmates, including DS, with her hard lunchbox. One kid was bashed in the back of the head and had trouble staying awake in the nurse’s office. DS got it in the jaw and throat. Apparently it started when DS and friends saw her hitting the first kid and told her to stop. Then she turned on them.

Girl has had ongoing anger issues and it has now turned to violence against other students.

Principal called me (and all involved) last night and said there would be consequences for the girl.

But …

girl was back in class like nothing happened today. It’s infuriating. Apparently suspensions aren’t a thing anymore?

You likely don’t have the whole story as far as this girl. It’s possible she has an IEP or 504 that prevents exclusion from the classroom. It’s also possible your district doesn’t do suspensions. Suspension as a punishment has typically had racial undertones and is generally more of a punishment for the parents than the child, especially a child this young whose parents may have to miss work for their kid to stay home (and risk their job or lose necessary income).

[hermione]

Mar 8, 2023 7:57:29 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

Mar 7, 2023 21:14:16 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

Some girl in my third grader’s class attacked 5 classmates, including DS, with her hard lunchbox. One kid was bashed in the back of the head and had trouble staying awake in the nurse’s office. DS got it in the jaw and throat. Apparently it started when DS and friends saw her hitting the first kid and told her to stop. Then she turned on them.

Girl has had ongoing anger issues and it has now turned to violence against other students.

Principal called me (and all involved) last night and said there would be consequences for the girl.

But …

girl was back in class like nothing happened today. It’s infuriating. Apparently suspensions aren’t a thing anymore?

You likely don’t have the whole story as far as this girl. It’s possible she has an IEP or 504 that prevents exclusion from the classroom. It’s also possible your district doesn’t do suspensions. Suspension as a punishment has typically had racial undertones and is generally more of a punishment for the parents than the child, especially a child this young whose parents may have to miss work for their kid to stay home (and risk their job or lose necessary income).

I agree with all of this; however, where is the protection for the 5 kids who were hit?

[formerlyak]

Mar 8, 2023 7:57:29 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

Mar 7, 2023 21:14:16 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

Some girl in my third grader’s class attacked 5 classmates, including DS, with her hard lunchbox. One kid was bashed in the back of the head and had trouble staying awake in the nurse’s office. DS got it in the jaw and throat. Apparently it started when DS and friends saw her hitting the first kid and told her to stop. Then she turned on them.

Girl has had ongoing anger issues and it has now turned to violence against other students.

Principal called me (and all involved) last night and said there would be consequences for the girl.

But …

girl was back in class like nothing happened today. It’s infuriating. Apparently suspensions aren’t a thing anymore?

You likely don’t have the whole story as far as this girl. It’s possible she has an IEP or 504 that prevents exclusion from the classroom. It’s also possible your district doesn’t do suspensions. Suspension as a punishment has typically had racial undertones and is generally more of a punishment for the parents than the child, especially a child this young whose parents may have to miss work for their kid to stay home (and risk their job or lose necessary income).

I work in our school system and know the family. No IEP. Mother doesn’t work, so no issue with missing a job. Our school does in-school suspensions anyway as a first step. There are ongoing issues with this student that need to be addressed. Most happen outside of school like at birthday parties. Her school outbursts have been nonviolent until now. I’m hoping that there is now a clear reason for the child to get evaluated and get the support she needs.

[Velar Fricative]

Mar 8, 2023 8:37:53 GMT -5 hermione said:

Mar 8, 2023 7:57:29 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

You likely don’t have the whole story as far as this girl. It’s possible she has an IEP or 504 that prevents exclusion from the classroom. It’s also possible your district doesn’t do suspensions. Suspension as a punishment has typically had racial undertones and is generally more of a punishment for the parents than the child, especially a child this young whose parents may have to miss work for their kid to stay home (and risk their job or lose necessary income).

I agree with all of this; however, where is the protection for the 5 kids who were hit?

Right. If I were a parent of an injured kid, I’d be ensuring that my child is protected from this other child. There’s got to be a middle ground between out of school suspension and being back in the classroom as if nothing happened. Should we just allow kids who have acted violently towards others to be immediately back in the same environment?

Trust, I understand things could be happening behind the scenes. But I still find this unacceptable.

[karinothing]

Mar 7, 2023 21:14:16 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

Some girl in my third grader’s class attacked 5 classmates, including DS, with her hard lunchbox. One kid was bashed in the back of the head and had trouble staying awake in the nurse’s office. DS got it in the jaw and throat. Apparently it started when DS and friends saw her hitting the first kid and told her to stop. Then she turned on them.

Girl has had ongoing anger issues and it has now turned to violence against other students.

Principal called me (and all involved) last night and said there would be consequences for the girl.

But …

girl was back in class like nothing happened today. It’s infuriating. Apparently suspensions aren’t a thing anymore?

I know it can be hard but you do not know what is going on behind the scenes and the school is unable to tell you due to privacy. There really isn't any data out there showing that suspensions help and when you have kids that are already struggling in school making them stay home from school is more of a reward than a punishment. I know it can be hard when your kid is the kid that got hurt, but the schools hands are tied in a lot of these situations. 

[karinothing]

Mar 8, 2023 8:44:27 GMT -5 Velar Fricative said:

Mar 8, 2023 8:37:53 GMT -5 hermione said:

I agree with all of this; however, where is the protection for the 5 kids who were hit?

Right. If I were a parent of an injured kid, I’d be ensuring that my child is protected from this other child. There’s got to be a middle ground between out of school suspension and being back in the classroom as if nothing happened. Should we just allow kids who have acted violently towards others to be immediately back in the same environment?

Trust, I understand things could be happening behind the scenes. But I still find this unacceptable.

I don't know enough about this case re: injuries but I think how many of these situations are handled is always weird. Like when do police get involved? What is the appropriate punishment for someone that hurt someone else when we are talking about young kids. Obviously in HS I think a kid injures me kid, I am personally going to the police not the school. 

[Velar Fricative]

Mar 8, 2023 8:51:12 GMT -5 karinothing said:

Mar 8, 2023 8:44:27 GMT -5 Velar Fricative said:

Right. If I were a parent of an injured kid, I’d be ensuring that my child is protected from this other child. There’s got to be a middle ground between out of school suspension and being back in the classroom as if nothing happened. Should we just allow kids who have acted violently towards others to be immediately back in the same environment?

Trust, I understand things could be happening behind the scenes. But I still find this unacceptable.

I don't know enough about this case re: injuries but I think how many of these situations are handled is always weird. Like when do police get involved? What is the appropriate punishment for someone that hurt someone else when we are talking about young kids. Obviously in HS I think a kid injures me kid, I am personally going to the police not the school. 

Personally, I wouldn't want the police involved in this particular case.

And per your other post above, no one is advocating for this student to be suspended outside of school. I know that doesn't help anything. But no hard lunch boxes or anything else that could injure others? That'd be a nice start. Along with in-school separation from other kids in the cafeteria and/or classroom - she could still receive her education in a separate area until additional steps are taken to ensure she gets the help she needs. 

I'm still completely against just accepting situations like this. FFS, a kid couldn't stay awake in the nurse's office after getting hit. Sure, maybe things need to change at a much higher level than just the school and their hands may indeed be tied, and if that's the case then I don't blame the school. But come on now. 

[formerlyak]

karinothing I thing you said it well. What is appropriate? I work in the school system. I understand the issue with out of school suspensions mentioned upthread. But what about in-school suspension? Issue there if there is no IEP is impact on an administrator. But from a kid’s perspective, what message does it send when they see no consequences for the child that hit them all? That the violent kid is more important? That violence against other students is ok? We aren’t talking about a playground scuffle here. One kid was out yesterday because the blow to the head gave her a concussion. DS has welts and bruising on his face and neck where he was hit. I’m not saying there were no consequences for the child that hit the others, but the perception of the other kids at this point is that “nothing was done.” There has to be a middle ground. Not sure what that is though.

[penguingrrl]

Mar 8, 2023 8:41:32 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

Mar 8, 2023 7:57:29 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

You likely don’t have the whole story as far as this girl. It’s possible she has an IEP or 504 that prevents exclusion from the classroom. It’s also possible your district doesn’t do suspensions. Suspension as a punishment has typically had racial undertones and is generally more of a punishment for the parents than the child, especially a child this young whose parents may have to miss work for their kid to stay home (and risk their job or lose necessary income).

I work in our school system and know the family. No IEP. Mother doesn’t work, so no issue with missing a job. Our school does in-school suspensions anyway as a first step. There are ongoing issues with this student that need to be addressed. Most happen outside of school like at birthday parties. Her school outbursts have been nonviolent until now. I’m hoping that there is now a clear reason for the child to get evaluated and get the support she needs.

Fair enough, and your kid deserves protection too, I read your post as advocating suspension and that’s not a good solution either, especially as it sounds like this girl needs an evaluation. Even in school suspension means missed class, which can hurt those most at risk.

I would support something that kept her away from other students during unstructured time such as lunch and recess. It sounds like she really needs a 1:1 aide to prevent these situations.

[formerlyak]

Mar 8, 2023 9:09:31 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

Mar 8, 2023 8:41:32 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

I work in our school system and know the family. No IEP. Mother doesn’t work, so no issue with missing a job. Our school does in-school suspensions anyway as a first step. There are ongoing issues with this student that need to be addressed. Most happen outside of school like at birthday parties. Her school outbursts have been nonviolent until now. I’m hoping that there is now a clear reason for the child to get evaluated and get the support she needs.

Fair enough, and your kid deserves protection too, I read your post as advocating suspension and that’s not a good solution either, especially as it sounds like this girl needs an evaluation. Even in school suspension means missed class, which can hurt those most at risk.

I would support something that kept her away from other students during unstructured time such as lunch and recess. It sounds like she really needs a 1:1 aide to prevent these situations.

A 1:1 aide even, even for a few days while things calmed down, is actually what DS was hoping for. He said it might help her find better ways to calm down if she gets angry, because she gets angry a lot though until now it’s not been violent. We have many students with 1:1 aides at school. It’s not uncommon. Our aides, in many cases, are parents of kids who have moved on the middle school. Then they want to work and they volunteered at the school so long when their own kids were there, so they go back to school to get certified to be an aide. The students know them all. They are truly a gift to the school.

[Velar Fricative]

Mar 8, 2023 9:16:48 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

Mar 8, 2023 9:09:31 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

Fair enough, and your kid deserves protection too, I read your post as advocating suspension and that’s not a good solution either, especially as it sounds like this girl needs an evaluation. Even in school suspension means missed class, which can hurt those most at risk.

I would support something that kept her away from other students during unstructured time such as lunch and recess. It sounds like she really needs a 1:1 aide to prevent these situations.

A 1:1 aide even, even for a few days while things calmed down, is actually what DS was hoping for. He said it might help her find better ways to calm down if she gets angry, because she gets angry a lot though until now it’s not been violent. We have many students with 1:1 aides at school. It’s not uncommon. Our aides, in many cases, are parents of kids who have moved on the middle school. Then they want to work and they volunteered at the school so long when their own kids were there, so they go back to school to get certified to be an aide. The students know them all. They are truly a gift to the school.

I know 1:1 aides here do require an IEP for the student before placement and I'm sure it's the same there. So until that process moves forward (and obviously you know that's not an overnight process), I think there would need to be some level of separation until she can be in a class with others with her own aide. 

[pixy0stix]

What a shitty situation for all involved. I hope the school called the parents in and had a long talk with them and is pushing them to get her evaluated. They may have found a disciplinary or behavioral path that they're working on that isn't obvious to outsiders to avoid suspension.

[karinothing]

Mar 8, 2023 9:09:16 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

karinothing I thing you said it well. What is appropriate? I work in the school system. I understand the issue with out of school suspensions mentioned upthread. But what about in-school suspension? Issue there if there is no IEP is impact on an administrator. But from a kid’s perspective, what message does it send when they see no consequences for the child that hit them all? That the violent kid is more important? That violence against other students is ok? We aren’t talking about a playground scuffle here. One kid was out yesterday because the blow to the head gave her a concussion. DS has welts and bruising on his face and neck where he was hit. I’m not saying there were no consequences for the child that hit the others, but the perception of the other kids at this point is that “nothing was done.” There has to be a middle ground. Not sure what that is though.

I know at our school we don't have the staff to do in school suspension. Sometimes the kids go to the office and have to eat there instead of for lunch. But an entire day? It is very hard to do that staffing wise. Again, not saying this means it should not be done, but just that it might not be logistically feasible. I Think a 1:1 aide is great, but again you need to have the staff to do it. I know we have one 1:1 aide at our school. We have more kids that need help than that. SO its just people finding random breaks in their day to pass kids off to and they can't cover it always. Education is suffering in so many ways. 

I have been on the other end of this. My kid luckily was wrongly accused. But from our perspective there was a TON of consequences for him and everyone kept complaining about no consequences because they couldn't see what was going on due to privacy laws. I don't know how to make victims feel like they are being protected and also protect the privacy because they literally cannot tell the other students or families what the consequences are. 

[penguingrrl]

Mar 8, 2023 9:16:48 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

Mar 8, 2023 9:09:31 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

Fair enough, and your kid deserves protection too, I read your post as advocating suspension and that’s not a good solution either, especially as it sounds like this girl needs an evaluation. Even in school suspension means missed class, which can hurt those most at risk.

I would support something that kept her away from other students during unstructured time such as lunch and recess. It sounds like she really needs a 1:1 aide to prevent these situations.

A 1:1 aide even, even for a few days while things calmed down, is actually what DS was hoping for. He said it might help her find better ways to calm down if she gets angry, because she gets angry a lot though until now it’s not been violent. We have many students with 1:1 aides at school. It’s not uncommon. Our aides, in many cases, are parents of kids who have moved on the middle school. Then they want to work and they volunteered at the school so long when their own kids were there, so they go back to school to get certified to be an aide. The students know them all. They are truly a gift to the school.

It definitely sounds like she needs to be evaluated if she gets angry a lot. I would guess it will take a lot of time to get a 1:1 aide. My son has a shared aide and it took months of fighting for it despite having an IEP. But ours are paid professionals. I wouldn’t want a parent volunteer doing that job for so many reasons.

[karinothing]

Mar 8, 2023 9:44:45 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

Mar 8, 2023 9:16:48 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

A 1:1 aide even, even for a few days while things calmed down, is actually what DS was hoping for. He said it might help her find better ways to calm down if she gets angry, because she gets angry a lot though until now it’s not been violent. We have many students with 1:1 aides at school. It’s not uncommon. Our aides, in many cases, are parents of kids who have moved on the middle school. Then they want to work and they volunteered at the school so long when their own kids were there, so they go back to school to get certified to be an aide. The students know them all. They are truly a gift to the school.

It definitely sounds like she needs to be evaluated if she gets angry a lot. I would guess it will take a lot of time to get a 1:1 aide. My son has a shared aide and it took months of fighting for it despite having an IEP. But ours are paid professionals. I wouldn’t want a parent volunteer doing that job for so many reasons.

Yeah, I give the side eye to using a parent volunteer for this as well. Again FERPA 

[pixy0stix]

Speaking of IEPs - DS was functionally kicked out of daycare in October with no warning to us. It's a long story, but basically the daycare was in crisis because most of the teachers had left, a bunch of the kids had left, communication was shit as we kept asking wtf was going on, and they had a new director who was trying to prove a point. The assistant director was leaving for another daycare, and she reached out to tell us where she was going as she didn't like the situation we were put in. We switched daycare, started play therapy, and finally in January he was evaluated by the school district. He's started Head Start last month with an IEP in place, and I shared his IEP with his daycare. After so many months in childcare crisis, it feels really good to have plans in place and seeing improvements in my kid.

[macmars45]

Mar 8, 2023 9:50:59 GMT -5 karinothing said:

Mar 8, 2023 9:44:45 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

It definitely sounds like she needs to be evaluated if she gets angry a lot. I would guess it will take a lot of time to get a 1:1 aide. My son has a shared aide and it took months of fighting for it despite having an IEP. But ours are paid professionals. I wouldn’t want a parent volunteer doing that job for so many reasons.

Yeah, I give the side eye to using a parent volunteer for this as well. Again FERPA 

The original post said the parents went back to school to get certified after volunteering at the school for years (not as a 1:1 aide). So they are paid employees.

[formerlyak]

Mar 8, 2023 9:50:59 GMT -5 karinothing said:

Mar 8, 2023 9:44:45 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

It definitely sounds like she needs to be evaluated if she gets angry a lot. I would guess it will take a lot of time to get a 1:1 aide. My son has a shared aide and it took months of fighting for it despite having an IEP. But ours are paid professionals. I wouldn’t want a parent volunteer doing that job for so many reasons.

Yeah, I give the side eye to using a parent volunteer for this as well. Again FERPA 

The aides aren’t parent volunteers. They are former volunteers who went back to school when their kids graduated from the elementary school to become certified as aides. Sorry if that part was unclear.

[pixy0stix]

As an addendum to my post - I now have to do a mom taxi run in the middle of the day. Luckily we only have a few more months of this, but I did purchase an ebike and bike trailer to be my mom-mobile for later this year. All his activities/school stuff should be within easy biking distance then. (One of the things suggested in his IEP was to get him to participate in team sports/activities. Since he's still too little for robotics and other clubs, sports it is.)

[penguingrrl]

Mar 8, 2023 10:05:53 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

Mar 8, 2023 9:50:59 GMT -5 karinothing said:

Yeah, I give the side eye to using a parent volunteer for this as well. Again FERPA 

The aides aren’t parent volunteers. They are former volunteers who went back to school when their kids graduated from the elementary school to become certified as aides. Sorry if that part was unclear.

At, okay. I misunderstood that.

[hermione]

I accept that there are probably things happening behind the scenes to help this girl. That does nothing to help the five kids who were attacked feel safe in their own classroom. They have to factor into this equation somewhere, no? formerlyak - while the school cannot tell you anything about the girl, they should be able to tell you how they are protecting your son. I'd be asking that question.

[ssmjlm]

There are 5 kids who are now feeling all sort of emotions regarding being attacked by a classmate.

It's unacceptable to have her back in class the next day. There needed to be some sort of meeting with the class with the gudiance counselor at a minimum.

I can't even imagine the anxiety and stress my kid would have if she was attacked at school, was confident enough to return the next day, and then the attacker is back like nothing happened.

[pixy0stix]

Backstory: CO recently passed a law called "Clean Water in Schools and Child Care Centers" which requires those facilities to test for lead.

I received an email from the school district (since my kid is in public preschool through the district) that they were testing all fountains and faucets. Today I received a follow up that 6 faucets and 2 fountains didn't meet the 5 ppb threshold (EPA threshold is 15 ppb so the district is more strict). Then they outlined the steps they're taking to fix them.

It's just interesting to me how this is all playing out.

[seeyalater52]

Mar 23, 2023 17:34:02 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

Backstory: CO recently passed a law called "Clean Water in Schools and Child Care Centers" which requires those facilities to test for lead.

I received an email from the school district (since my kid is in public preschool through the district) that they were testing all fountains and faucets. Today I received a follow up that 6 faucets and 2 fountains didn't meet the 5 ppb threshold (EPA threshold is 15 ppb so the state is more strict). Then they outlined the steps they're taking to fix them.

It's just interesting to me how this is all playing out.

Fascinating. I think it’s great that CO has a better standard than the EPA. It’s been a while since I took environmental health classes but one of my grad school professors was pretty unimpressed with the EPA standard, we did a bunch of assignments about it (that was like 8 years ago so I don’t really remember details.) I am apparently paranoid when it comes to lead and mercury, probably from that class. 😂

[pixy0stix]

Mar 23, 2023 18:46:11 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

Mar 23, 2023 17:34:02 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

Backstory: CO recently passed a law called "Clean Water in Schools and Child Care Centers" which requires those facilities to test for lead.

I received an email from the school district (since my kid is in public preschool through the district) that they were testing all fountains and faucets. Today I received a follow up that 6 faucets and 2 fountains didn't meet the 5 ppb threshold (EPA threshold is 15 ppb so the state is more strict). Then they outlined the steps they're taking to fix them.

It's just interesting to me how this is all playing out.

Fascinating. I think it’s great that CO has a better standard than the EPA. It’s been a while since I took environmental health classes but one of my grad school professors was pretty unimpressed with the EPA standard, we did a bunch of assignments about it (that was like 8 years ago so I don’t really remember details.) I am apparently paranoid when it comes to lead and mercury, probably from that class. 😂

::Face palm:: yeah, I typed out who was.more strict wrong.

[seeyalater52]

Mar 23, 2023 18:52:17 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

Mar 23, 2023 18:46:11 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

Fascinating. I think it’s great that CO has a better standard than the EPA. It’s been a while since I took environmental health classes but one of my grad school professors was pretty unimpressed with the EPA standard, we did a bunch of assignments about it (that was like 8 years ago so I don’t really remember details.) I am apparently paranoid when it comes to lead and mercury, probably from that class. 😂

::Face palm:: yeah, I typed out who was.more strict wrong.

Oh no, CO’s is worse than the EPA? (Am I understanding that right?) What a situation. I’m glad they’re being transparent with students and families I guess.

[pixy0stix]

Mar 23, 2023 19:14:06 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

Mar 23, 2023 18:52:17 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

::Face palm:: yeah, I typed out who was.more strict wrong.

Oh no, CO’s is worse than the EPA? (Am I understanding that right?) What a situation. I’m glad they’re being transparent with students and families I guess.

CO = more strict at 5 ppd