Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
My only concern with concerts are more festival type ones where there can be crowd surges. So, I would care about type of seating etc. Otherwise I vote NBD. I mean, I’ve said it before - I went to college 3000 miles from home at 17. My DS1 turns 16 next month - kids turning into young adults need to have some freedoms to do stuff so they can be capable when they leave your house in a year or so. Driving a car as a teenager is likely the most dangerous thing most of our kids will do but people push and celebrate that milestone.
Yes I’d let them go. I think we live with a lot of fear around our kids and in ways it stifles them. I would talk to son about proper safety precautions - but I’d do that sending them to the mall or movie theatre. And I’d let them go.
Yes, this. At 17, I went to college. A concert without an adult is fine. Talk to your som about how to handle anxiety as well as other things that may come up. Help him learn to adult in these ways so he’a ready for bigger ways.
I don’t think I understand why a rap concert would be more of a concern than any other concert.
Yes you do. We all know what that other parent was saying in singling out rap but no one wants to talk about that elephant in the room.
I was trying not to trigger a defensive knee jerk reaction but yeah! We all know why rap concerts are always cited as a cause for concern when a mass shooting was at a country concert and a terrorist attack was at Ariana Grande. Or should know!
mofongo, while I think there is assigned seating. there is also a large roped area in front of the stage. I'm not sure where these particular seats are. I need to find that out. My son literally hit me with this ask 10 mins before school started.
FTR - this isn't about singling out rap. I actually had the artist name in the title of the post instead of rap but changed my mind since it was a public forum and I don't need anyone knowing my kid may be unsupervised. Really - these concerns would be for any overcrowded/moshy concert with no parent inside.
I would counsel him to stay on the periphery of the crowd.
I don't think it's fair to expect a 16 year old, going somewhere social with their friends, to hang back from the main action just because mom said to. If that is what you'd want him to do to stay safe in that venue, personally, I'd decline.
If you are concerned about the moshing/crowd crush, I’d go over how to spot it’s happening/getting out of control and how to chose a spot (if you don’t have seats) to stand in where it is less likely to happen like the sides or back of the venue if things get ugly. If they have seats, they need to stay at the seats! Even if they don’t sit in them, they should be in their zone. Most places try to enforce this because it gets overcrowded when people from the seats come down into the standing room areas but it’s not always effective.
As teens we’d always look for the exits and make a plan to meet up outside in a specific spot or near the bathrooms if we got separated or something happened. Always a good idea even with cellphones!
Post by mysteriouswife on Mar 9, 2023 11:31:18 GMT -5
We are breezy about concerts. DD attend 13 last year. I would let her go and she is 15. Who is the artist?
ETA- here’s my take away from this post.
1- moshing is being used liberally. Dancing/vibing is more likely the environment. crowd rushing is an issue at all shows. Tell your DS to be vigilant . 2- genre is irrelevant. All concerts have safety concerns. Let’s go to the worst of the worst case. LV festival of country artist being having a mad shooting. Ariana Grande’s concert having a bombing. (GTFO with rappers being shot. My kids have a greater chance of this at school) 3- A parent is going to provide rides and be there in case of an emergency. I think I would let DD go knowing this.
I would counsel him to stay on the periphery of the crowd.
I don't think it's fair to expect a 16 year old, going somewhere social with their friends, to hang back from the main action just because mom said to. If that is what you'd want him to do to stay safe in that venue, personally, I'd decline.
I totally understand, but I was thinking about her DS's anxiety and that having a conversation with him in advance about how to feel safe -- in terms of crowds and ability to exit -- would make sense to me. YMMV.
I don't think it's fair to expect a 16 year old, going somewhere social with their friends, to hang back from the main action just because mom said to. If that is what you'd want him to do to stay safe in that venue, personally, I'd decline.
I totally understand, but I was thinking about her DS's anxiety and that having a conversation with him in advance about how to feel safe -- in terms of crowds and ability to exit -- would make sense to me. YMMV.
That makes complete sense. I'd heard it as the voice in my own head trying to manage my own kids from afar (which doesn't work, lol) rather than in the context of giving this particular kid guidance on how to manage their own reservations.
Not a parent, but I would likely let him go, especially if there were seats. Floor does make me nervous, in a crowd with younger people especially. Most concerts are not dangerous in the least, but even if nothing bad happens being in the middle of a crowd without any parameters around personal space can be a lot to handle. If it's his first concert he won't know what exactly to expect and I can see that being difficult. Otherwise, he has to do something like this at some point and I think with these particular friends and a parent nearby is a safe way to get some experience.
One thing if he does go - please reinforce with him not to take drugs from anyone, especially with fentanyl floating around so much. Even though your kid and his friends are good kids, concerts are a big place for young people to be passing around drugs and he could be tempted.
If you are concerned about the moshing/crowd crush, I’d go over how to spot it’s happening/getting out of control and how to chose a spot (if you don’t have seats) to stand in where it is less likely to happen like the sides or back of the venue if things get ugly. If they have seats, they need to stay at the seats! Even if they don’t sit in them, they should be in their zone. Most places try to enforce this because it gets overcrowded when people from the seats come down into the standing room areas but it’s not always effective.
As teens we’d always look for the exits and make a plan to meet up outside in a specific spot or near the bathrooms if we got separated or something happened. Always a good idea even with cellphones!
I was coming in to say pretty much exactly this - since he hasn't been to concerts before (and it sounds like it was general admission?), let him know he if he is getting anxiety, he can leave the center and go to the sidelines. Some people like to be in the middle of it all, and some do not. It's fine to head to the side or back if you get overwhelmed. Make a plan with friends on where to meet up after the show if they get separated (and with cellphones, should be easier than back when I was a kid). And to enjoy it - it should be fun!
(Same as a previous poster - at that age, I was going to punk shows with my friends - definitely no parents. Lots of moshing. You'd learn quickly enough whether you were comfortable enough to stay in the pit or get out and move to the sidelines. We'd sometimes get separated but were always able to find each other after the show. This was way before cellphones.)
Post by somersault72 on Mar 9, 2023 11:50:03 GMT -5
My oldest is only 14 (almost 15), but I'm finding so far I'm way breezier than I ever thought I would be as a parent of a teen. Part of that is because of my kid. He doesn't get into trouble he hangs out with a group of kids that don't get into trouble, so I would probably let him go at 17, especially if a parent was driving them because that would honestly be my biggest concern. I don't want my kids to be reckless but I do want them to have fun and experience life. I would talk to him about any potential pitfalls, wildrice, brought up a great point about the drugs. I would also remind him to stay with his buddies and have them look out for each other. I talk to my son about ALLLL kinds of things, so I think that would be a great thing to do before he goes. I hope he has fun and I hope you aren't too anxious while he's gone.
thanks all - some good suggestions. We have looked up the seating and venue and the artists shows in general.
This is the worst part of having a teen...when to let go.
I get you. Our kids are the same age.
I keep reminding myself that in 18 months, he will be away at college and I don’t get a say in this kind of thing. I’d rather he go to a concert like you describe now with an adult staying nearby and driving so he’s had that experience when he does it on his own in college, if that makes sense.
I totally understand, but I was thinking about her DS's anxiety and that having a conversation with him in advance about how to feel safe -- in terms of crowds and ability to exit -- would make sense to me. YMMV.
That makes complete sense. I'd heard it as the voice in my own head trying to manage my own kids from afar (which doesn't work, lol) rather than in the context of giving this particular kid guidance on how to manage their own reservations.
Absolutely! If I told my DS12 (with ADHD) to stay away from the crowd, I'd be wasting my breath. He would be in the pit, like a moth to flame.
Post by basilosaurus on Mar 9, 2023 12:42:03 GMT -5
Ah yes, the recent deaths of Tupac and biggie.
This sounds like a pretty nicely controlled first concert experience. It's not like I was measurably more mature and capable at 18 for my first real concert experience complete with no seating and a mosh pit.
I also get anxious in crowded situations. Having planned escape routes helps out somewhat. Maybe you can find venue pictures? I'm guessing that would also maybe ease your fears.
When I am thinking of what I will let my teen do, I often think back to what I was allowed to do. Times were so different. I remind myself how I had more freedom and generally was responsible with that freedom. I mean I messed up, but in general it ended up okay.
If it were up to me I would think everything is dangerous lol. I worry about every time he leaves the house. But we have to do this thing were we prepare them for the world. So then I have to get over myself and consider the benefits. Anyways I am just saying this to validate the decision. It is hard to say yes to firsts. It is also hard to say no when you don't think it is worth the risk.
Anyways parenting teens are hard. I LOLed that he asked you 10 minutes before he left for school. CLASSIC
Post by InBetweenDays on Mar 9, 2023 13:01:17 GMT -5
I would let my 16 yo go to this concert and just warn her about not losing her friends and about the dangers of crowd surges/mosh pits/etc.
I always think to that saying (that I've seen on Instagram reels ) - allow your kids to do dangerous things carefully. That is where they learn and expand. Now I'm not saying this concert is dangerous - its pushing your parenting comfort zone. But (in my opinion) in a safe way.
Post by ProfessorArtNerd on Mar 9, 2023 13:03:14 GMT -5
Honestly can't wait til I can send Lucy (14) to concerts with friends and not have to referee H taking her. I think this sounds like a good first experience
I got some information from the mom. Hotel location (right down street) and the dad will pick them up outside the concert. I still need the seat locations and to discuss safety plans but DH and I are leaning toward a yes assuming he is comfortable with the videos we found and discuss the anxiety concerns.
Yes, let him go! My son is grown now so I have experience in this area😜. This sounds like a great way to go to his first concert. I’m sure he’ll have a great time.
Sure. First of all, I myself have been to many rap concerts and they're just like any other concert, in my experience.
Second, my philosophy of life is that to never let fear stop you from living. Sure, one or two rap concerts have had issues. But tens of thousands haven't. Would you not go to see the Rolling Stones because of Altamont? Do you not fly on planes because some planes crash? Don't teach your kid to limit himself.
Factors that would influence my decision - availability of the dad to come get them if they need/want to leave. Assigned seats or not. How I felt about the responsibility of the friends as a group, when they're together - are they supportive of each other, or do they tend to push each other around to "be cool?" How my kid dealt with and acknowledged his own anxiety (like, would he take the needed steps to manage it if something came up/triggered a big reaction, or would he try to pretend it's not happening....my oldest struggles with this, which is why I mention it).
If I decided on yes, I'd be pretty firm in suggesting that they set a pre-planned meeting place in case they get separated for any reason, and they can't contact each other on their phones (sometimes stadiums have wonky cell reception).
Finally, the letting go is hard. My mom gave me some advice which I try to keep in mind when stuff like this comes up. Be very selective in what you say "no" to during the teen years. Let them be true safety concerns, not things that you're just unsettled about in general. That way when a REAL safety concern comes up, your "no" carries more weight. You're not the parent who says no to everything trying to justify to your teen why *this* is a really and truly potentially dangerous situation. I would 100% be unsettled about the situation, even if I had checked all of the boxes I mentioned above. But if I could check them, I'd likely say yes, despite my discomfort. Because that's what it comes down to - ME, not them. My discomfort in letting go doesn't necessarily mean my kid would be in actual danger.
Method Man literally fell into my lap when I was 16 at a rap concert. We were seated close to the stage, he was on a harness thing walking about 2’ above our heads. I also smoked a joint for the first time and somehow lived to tell this story 🤣
Also I was in the mosh pit and crowd surfed at a Bush concert when I was 14. I remember being shocked that no one tried to grab my boobs. (What an awful thought/expectation to have at 14 years old.)