A form like you described in no way needs to ne sent to you. And proof that he has done something requested or required as part of the divorce/coparenting litigation should go lawyer to lawyer.
Post by midwestmama on Mar 22, 2023 7:45:19 GMT -5
campermom, can you claim that he is attempting identity theft? Changing an address, or attempting to change and address, for someone else seems like it would fall in the identity theft category. There is no reason why you would ever change your address to his, and he should not be receiving mail at your address.
campermom Yes! You also need receipts of the receipts. I know he’s hoping for you to collapse from exhaustion. I think he’s going to be mightily disappointed.
This is crazy. So was the certified letter actually a letter for him or was it a certified letter alerting you to the address change (but it was from his wife?). I'm sorry that you have to deal with such an asshole!
campermom: yes, you need literal receipts for every. last. thing.
Dealing with people like this is a full time job. It will drive you to distraction and rage. And you do it because you fear for your children. But the courts do not fear for them in the same way so you better have proof of every thing you say.
I hope your lawyer is aware and helping you rectify this.
Always at a cost, campermom. I know. I know this game.
I keep responding in here because I so badly want you to know that you’re not alone. I personally know others in these exact situations with men who are abusive post-separation. None of what you write surprises me and there are others out there who would share a hug and a cry with you.
One of my friends in this situation just said she wanted peace. She would do anything for peace for herself and her children. She doesn’t have it because she refuses to stop fighting against the illogical and child-like tantrums of her ex-husband because her children do not deserve to suffer more than they have to.
Post by litskispeciality on Mar 22, 2023 11:22:17 GMT -5
campermom, I wish I had advice. Right now I just want to send you big huge hugs. I'm sad, and glad to hear the DSM update. You may benefit from counseling if you have the bandwidth and haven't already started. If nothing else but a safe space to process your feelings and learn new strategies to cope and when to pursue more action.
I'm so effing pissed on your behalf. It sounds like you have a great legal team, but I'm still pissed you're losing your shirt financially for your safety.
Finally, you don't have to answer this, I'm just curious. Could your kids ever say they don't want to be around their dad? This has to be emotional abuse to them, causing future trauma, and they should have a right to say no I don't want to be around him. I get the other side, someone could manipulate the kids to say that blah, blah, but ugh I'm so mad all around.
I would enlist the two older kids to keep a sharp eye on the meds when they are at the dad's house. Not just to make 110% sure that they are brought back home, but while they are there too. I would fear ExH's next move would be to 'lose' the meds permanently while at his house.
Send the kids with as much medicine as they need for the time they're there in a pill sorter. Maybe with one extra day.
This was my thought, too.
My daughter is 10 and monitors her medication on her own via a 2-week pill sorter. It’s easy for me to sneak a peek and make sure she’s taken it. It’s part of her packing list/routine when she stays the night elsewhere.
In this scenario, if the pill sorter is left behind or thrown away by your ex, you’re only out a few doses.
litskispeciality , When I was a kid, and I was probably 13 or 14 at the time, I was told by my mom that I had to go to visitation because that was what the court ordered. When I kept pushing she said I could try to write a letter to the court. So I did write a letter to the court, and they responded that I had to go to visitation. This is most likely state specific, and could have changed since it has been a number of years, but I wouldn't assume that the kids can opt out of visitation. ETA- I just googled the state I grew up in, and they said visitation until age 18.
Post by litskispeciality on Mar 22, 2023 15:10:00 GMT -5
waverly, that stinks. Again I'm sure there are reasons including parents like OP's ex making it look like the kids don't want visitation, but ugh. And sorry to bring up bad memories!