Post by librarychica on Aug 10, 2023 10:38:37 GMT -5
So I have a couple updates.
My oldest started middle school today and I didn’t cry.
We have had a local meal service providing 4 lunch meals a week (literally 4 individual servings of 4 different types of food) for two weeks. So two days of lunches for both of us. H is less excited about it than I would have thought. The food is fine, good even, and now we don’t have to think about lunch. I hated when I would be focusing and he’d show up “what should we have for lunch?” I don’t care!
Anyway he is definitely not as enthusiastic as me on this, but is eating any of the salmon entries (I hate salmon, he loves it). He likes to get takeout several times a week, I much prefer to go out to a nice restaurant with him once a month or so than eat takeout at my desk. If I am eating at my desk it may as well be good for me. So we will keep as-is for now and if he decides he wants to go out then he can do so and I’ll just eat it all myself.
I think it was something like "Things (T) Working (Wer?) Parents Needed to Know (K)"
Since that poster left, we could always start calling it Updates.
Anyway, my update is that Cardiology had kind of worried me about DS even though they weren't worried. So we did the sports physical for school today, and I asked about the cardiology issues and the pediatrician was not concerned and even did an impromptu stress test. So I am hoping that I feel more relieved/ less worried going forward. Cardiology mentioned keeping an eye on the conclave chest for possible surgery and the pediatrician was like I have only had one patient ever that needed surgery in 35 years. Cardiology isn't wrong to keep an eye on it, but maybe the way they said it was a bit overly alarmist. He is a good cardiologist, but the difference of one practicing for a few years and one practicing for 35 years in terms of seeing how often this happens....
Post by supertrooper1 on Aug 10, 2023 11:28:42 GMT -5
Today is my first day back to work after 3 days off for our trip to a theme park in Idaho. I'm having a very hard time unpacking our trip in my head and trying to focus on the fun that we had instead of the negative. It frustrates me to no end how much Beau's son and DIL take advantage of his generosity without appreciation. But then again, I might have a different feeling about it all if I was in his shoes or had adult children. I also don't agree with their lack of parenting of their iPhone and think he's turning into a nightmare. So it's a challenging work in progress for me to focus on the positive rather than the negative.
My phone died on our trip and I need to get a new one. It will intermittently turn on again and I think I have everything backed up. But I was hoping I could wait until the iPhone 15 was out.
And my coworker told me her biopsy reports came back positive for breast cancer. She said it's very early and the most common kind that has almost a 100% success rate, so that is the silver lining in it all.
librarychica, DH and I eat lunch completely separately. I’m more likely to grab takeout, but I also like leftovers and am working on having healthy options here that I look forward to so fast food’s siren song is easier to ignore.. DH eats the same exact thing every single day.
DS has a 2 hour back to school orientation today. He will meet his new teacher(s) and learn his schedule. Then we get to go meet his new teacher afterward. He starts on Monday. DD has another week or so after that. (I think it’s like 9 days.)
I follow a lot of neurodivergent parenting stuff, and so many people choose to homeschool or do “one on one” school for their neurodivergent kids. I’m feeling really guilty that we don’t do that for DS. He hates school. Hates it. But I work and can’t do it, and DH flat out won’t do it. So cue the terrible guilt.
mommyatty, after doing elearning, I have learned that I never ever ever ever ever want to homeschool my child. I get that in certain circumstances with special needs students it can work out well, but for the majority of students school is best for them. Is he starting a new school this year?
Yesterday was the first time in 15 years I didn't have a back to school pic. I snapped ds an old one and said I'm traumatized, his response was that I dressed him weird.
Dd is alternating between excitement and tribulation about going to college next week. Last night she declared her life was upside down and she's not going to have a job, home, parents, a cat.... she has an apartment and we and the cat aren't going anywhere, soooo...
mommyatty, I hope your DS has a good year at school. As good as it can be. I hope he gets just the right teacher for him, and gets just the right kids in his class with him.
My neurodivergent kids would NOT do well with 1:1 or homeschooling, but we have not found the right school for them. DD2 is a MOVER, and being in a Catholic classroom where there's a lot of sitting still expected... just not a good fit for her. I'm feeling sort of hopeful that the new school checks more boxes than the old one. But I'm also trying not to get my hopes up because nothing is perfect.
mommyatty, I truly cannot imagine being able to support a neurodivergent kiddo at home all by myself. I feel like as parents, we have to worry about enough of their lives already. Teachers and school staff are much more equipped to handle the educational side of things for them compared to what I could offer. DD2 always mentions how she'd love to be homeschooled because she could deep dive into all the topics that interest her, which I get. But I could not be the one to come up with lesson plans and evaluations and teach her all the executive functioning skills she needs to learn. Heck, I'm neurodivergent myself. We'd be hot mess express as a home school team! Good luck with school this year for your DS!
No major updates here. This week my kids had their most expensive camp of the summer and the water activities were all cancelled because the lake has high bacteria levels. And then there was such a bad thunderstorm day on Tuesday they were emailing parents to grab kids early if at all possible because they were all just huddled in the cabins all day. The only activity they've wanted to do is the ropes course and zipline and today is the last day that's on the schedule, so I hope they at least get to do that! I'm feeling salty about how much I spent on this camp and how little they've gotten out of it. But it's all totally outside the camp's control.
I’m on the road to healing. This week has been so much better. (You can message me if you missed/none of this makes sense)
I went to an IT specialist. I found out more. I took care of things I shouldn’t have to.
I asked for a change w my work buildings-one had a terrible workspace for me, that was not conducive to getting my bare minimum job done. Instead I returned to a building I had for 7 years and loved-(left on great terms) the new office they moved me to is the best space I’ve ever had in almost 2 decades. I’ve spent so much time making it the most comfortable, peaceful, aesthetically pleasing workspace and it feels really good.
I’ve been putting every single expense I have on my credit card w flight points.I’m going to arrange a do-over vacation bc I found out everything while my kids and I were at cabins with no internet for me to deal w it, no privacy for me to deal w it, (thank god extended family was also in nearby cabins) and then the following week I had already scheduled a trip to Cancun w my boyfriend but I had to deal w all of this there too. Both trips were as you’d expect w a major life crisis. But of course he knew the timing.
It’s going to take time, for me. I’ll probably never ever understand or comprehend how deeply disturbed…..
Ds1 started middle school today and said he got a bit nervous and teary eyed walking to school (ds dropped him off at the corner to walk on campus to meet his friends) but said he was happy and not nervous at all once he saw his buddies.
We implemented a new rule this year - you make your lunch or you eat school lunch. Mom isn’t doing lunch boxes anymore. Day 1 was a success.
Ds2 has a sub. Not a great start to second grade to know there is no permanent teacher assigned to the class. We will be discussing with the principal but am giving him the space of the first week craziness before we bring it up as there really isn’t anything we can do about it. Ds1s second grade teacher was out on leave all of last year so I’m hoping and praying the sub situation means she might be coming back because she was fabulous. But ds2 said the sub told the class today that she will be here until fall and they are trying to find someone for the whole rest of the year for the class so I’m trying not to get my hopes up.
I am an elementary school counselor and also play a role in registering/withdrawing students. We’ve had a HUGE surge of students withdrawing to either do online school (Connections Academy, K12 Online, virtual charter school) or straight up homeschool. Dozens of kids. I think this is a big trend post-pandemic because parents feel more empowered about taking their child’s education in their own hands. However, I am in the south, my state does not regulate homeschooling much at all, and I suspect people are doing it out of fear of CRT, “grooming” and “indoctrination,” etc.
vasc- most people here who homeschool do it because of fear their kids will be exposed to (gasp) the gays or the minorities or the atheists. Another reason I could never homeschool. There’s no “not crazy” homeschool community here.
DS had his school orientation yesterday. The whole point of this is a chance for the kids to meet their teacher. DS’s teacher was at her daughter’s college graduation. Which I get but it would have been nice to have a heads up. Oh and there are no other boys in DS’s grade. He’s okay with that. I’m less okay with that.
I just set up my final MBA schedule for the next year. I took a term off during the chaos of buying a house/selling a house/getting married, thinking I would just tack it onto the end and it would be no big deal. Well, turns out that would mean I don't get to walk at graduation in May and I'd have to wait until the following graduation. If I had known that, I probably wouldn't have taken the term off. Even though my program is all online, the actual school is somewhat local to me so I can attend graduation in person and that's really important to me. I know it's silly, but I want to bring the kids and have them see me finish off this big accomplishment after seeing me work at it. It's a big personal goal for me and a life lesson for them.
So instead, I'm going to double up in this next fall term so I can graduate on time in May. It's 7 weeks long and I'll take Accounting Practices and Corporate Finance simultaneously. I can't decide if this is a great plan or a terrible plan. My logic is that the content should overlap, making it easier to get through it all. And I think (hope) these two courses would have less essay/case study writing than others. But that's probably wishful thinking. It's only for 7 weeks though and then I can graduate on time. So, I'm going to power through and make it happen!
twinmomma , I am sure it will be really intense but once it is done it's done.
Update: My nephew graduated high school! He has done summer school every summer and "credit recovery" every semester. Credit recovery is an afterschool class during the school year. He didn't graduate in May and had to do summer school and it was up in the air until the very last moment. Honestly, I think the school was like let's just give it to him, but I was told he had most everything done, and just one more project for an "elective" class.
campermom, big hugs to you vasc, that sounds rough. To say the least, I feel for the poor kids who are missing out because of their parents' "apprehensions"
mommyatty, my DH and his sister were both homeschooled for several years in elementary school. While they are both relatively happy adults, they both would not homeschool their own kids. For different reasons. DH thinks he's always had social issues that were exacerbated by homeschooling. His mom had them in plenty of activities with other kids, but he could just avoid any kids he didn't click with or quit any activity he didn't like. He thinks he didn't learn how to tolerate people and subjects he doesn't like well and that still bothers him as an adult. His sister, who is an attorney, thought it wasn't healthy/ideal to be with her mom/taught by her mom 24/7. MIL is a nice person with a teaching background - SIL just wanted to be able to see her as mom and not mom/teacher/24-7 companion.
We have never had my oldest son tested, but suspect he is ND in some ways. He did the absolute worst with remote learning/being home during the pandemic. He absolutely thrives on the routines and familiarity of school. When he lost that routine he started talking about killing himself - at age 7. It was so scary. Schools reopened and he got to go back to his school routine and began thriving.
All this to say, I don't think ND = homeschooling is good. Working parent or not.
sdlaura- DS has twice had major depressive suicidal episodes- both because of how much he hates school. He told his therapist he hasn’t had any issues with depression or anxiety this summer “because [he doesn’t] have to go to school.” He did okay-ish with remote learning, mainly because he’s brainy and could finish the work for the day in under an hour. And he adores summer, when he doesn’t have to go to school. My bff has her son in an online academy because he can’t deal with in person school. He has many of the same issues as DS, but I think more severely.
Luckily DS seems to have a good attitude about school right now. So maybe if he starts the year assuming he will be successful, things will go better.
mommyatty, I hope your DS has a good year at school. As good as it can be. I hope he gets just the right teacher for him, and gets just the right kids in his class with him.
My neurodivergent kids would NOT do well with 1:1 or homeschooling, but we have not found the right school for them. DD2 is a MOVER, and being in a Catholic classroom where there's a lot of sitting still expected... just not a good fit for her. I'm feeling sort of hopeful that the new school checks more boxes than the old one. But I'm also trying not to get my hopes up because nothing is perfect.
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Do you have any Quaker schools around you? I teach a ton of ND kids and it is certainly expected that we accommodate movement and needs of kids pretty widely.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
mommyatty ugh, I’m sorry school does seem to be a trigger for him. Since he doesn’t seem bothered by lack of routine/a structured day - here there seem to be a lot of charter schools that have some in person days and some homeschool days. Would something like that be an option in your area?
erbear - there is one Quaker school that is about 15-20 miles away, but that’s over an hour each way with traffic.
Their new school seems to be accommodating, but after I was SO VERY HOPEFUL about their last school being an amazing, welcoming place, I’m approaching this one with a bit more caution. The new school is a center dedicated to working with neurodiverse kids, encourages alternative seating, fidgets, etc. Tons of opportunities for extra help, lots of movement throughout the day - all things my kids need. I just… don’t want my kids to be let down again.
Post by sandandsea on Aug 11, 2023 18:57:52 GMT -5
Ds competes in a sport on a national level and several/most others in his sport at a high level are home schooled. Our principal even suggested that as an option for us because the public school really isn’t equipped to deal with traveling sports and extra curriculars that require several missed school days. The state allows 5 per semester and each nation event ds does requires 4 missed school days. He does about 5 events a year and only 1 or 2 fall during summer.
We will not homeschool and the stuff we did have to do for distance learning was awful for all of us and did not work at all for ds. I was annoyed the (new) principal wanted to get rid of the concern and vs finding a solution. But our district always looks for the laziest solution and often it means ignoring needs and doing the least. . Our school and parents and teacher are an amazing community but the new principal leaves something to be desired and we have known our district sucks since the pandemic and their awful response that kept kids out of school for over a year.
We just had DD’s first therapy appointment for her “depression” - therapist wants to send her for an adhd evaluation. The neuropsych called back this afternoon with prelimary results of her eval, says she doesn’t see any indicators of depression, but she’s quite certain she’ll be diagnosed with ADHD. She’s trying to decide between inattentive or combined type. Wrinkle? It also requires a teacher to provide feedback. And we’re two days into the school year. Neuropsych suggested a prior teacher, but grades 2, 3, and 4 teachers have all quit.
I guess we’ve waited since April to even get to this point, so what’s another 6 months? 🙄
Post by sandandsea on Aug 11, 2023 20:54:14 GMT -5
Also I need to know if an air fryer is worth it. Like can I put meat veggies and whatever in and set it and forget it? Is it as easy and fast as the hype? I got an instant pot and it’s not been worth the hype.
Also I need to know if an air fryer is worth it. Like can I put meat veggies and whatever in and set it and forget it? Is it as easy and fast as the hype? I got an instant pot and it’s not been worth the hype.
I think it depends on your cooking style. I use my instant pot all the time, but I used a stovetop pressure cooker too and we way a lot of soups, stews, curries, pulled meats.
I find the air fryer to be good for reheating empanadas and making my kids the occasional frozen nugget. I haven’t had much luck cooking fresh foods with it. My MiL bought me two and I’m always offering them to people — maybe someone has one they could loan you to try out?
sandandsea we love our air fryer. I remember reading something that was like ‘if you frequently cook small batches of frozen food and want them ready fast, an air fryer is for you!’ We use it mainly for chicken nuggets and French fries. It cooks them so much better and quicker than the oven.
I just set up my final MBA schedule for the next year. I took a term off during the chaos of buying a house/selling a house/getting married, thinking I would just tack it onto the end and it would be no big deal. Well, turns out that would mean I don't get to walk at graduation in May and I'd have to wait until the following graduation. If I had known that, I probably wouldn't have taken the term off. Even though my program is all online, the actual school is somewhat local to me so I can attend graduation in person and that's really important to me. I know it's silly, but I want to bring the kids and have them see me finish off this big accomplishment after seeing me work at it. It's a big personal goal for me and a life lesson for them.
So instead, I'm going to double up in this next fall term so I can graduate on time in May. It's 7 weeks long and I'll take Accounting Practices and Corporate Finance simultaneously. I can't decide if this is a great plan or a terrible plan. My logic is that the content should overlap, making it easier to get through it all. And I think (hope) these two courses would have less essay/case study writing than others. But that's probably wishful thinking. It's only for 7 weeks though and then I can graduate on time. So, I'm going to power through and make it happen!
I took accounting and finance back to back, they are not the two I would want to double up on unless you have a strong background in them (I didn't) my finance class had a pretty big project attached to it, and accounting for me was difficult because it was a different way of thinking about money and math.
For reference I have an engineering undergrad degree.
Good luck and be prepared to have zero life for seven weeks.
PS, assuming my next two classes go well I will also be graduating this May!!! I am excited to be finished!
erbear- no Quaker schools here unfortunately. But he’s in a school that only takes students with a diagnosed learning difference, including neurodivergence. So he is accommodated. In fact, the kids have ALT every day (most of the kids have dyslexia, and the school is also a training center for CALTs) and he has one on one time this year with the CALT to help work with him on his hand strength and his expressive language. (Last year it was a group of 3 kids working on reading, which he didn’t need except that it built his confidence.)
He mainly hates how long he has to be there every day. I think if he had half days every day, he would like school a lot more.
So the logical part of me knows we have him in a supportive school and he’s getting far more help than most kids in his position. But I have a special needs kid with a high iq who could end up another statistic if we screw this up. And I worry we are screening it up every single day. It just sucks.
mommyatty, I have no doubt you all are doing the best you can. I think you are very proactive and will keep an eye on things and make adjustments as needed.