I don’t want to send you into a total panic but I would have him to go the doctor asap and get test for what PP wrote, hempatic (related to liver) encephalopathy (brain disease ) this can be fatal if the ammonia levels are too high. (Like I said. I really don’t want to scare you but it can turn bad fast)
Usually they’ll check ammonia levels but I don’t know if there are more tests to determine if the fatty liver disease is affecting brain function.
Last Edit: Sept 30, 2023 15:28:27 GMT -5 by Leeham Rimes
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
I’m glad you’re going to the doctor with him on Monday and that you’ve already given the doctor a heads up. There are a lot of things that could be at play here, but I think it’s beyond quirky or ASD.
I agree with PP that said his garage door actually COULD be going up and down without him doing it. We had that at a previous house. Maybe you could try getting him set up with a different opener? It’ll make him feel heard, and might actually address a problem that actually exists. Because if it is actually a frequency issue, it’s just fueling every other concern that he has. If the door has ever “opened on its own”, then it makes everything else seem plausible to him…because he could see PROOF of “them” controlling things he owns. (Even if it’s just Grandma Jane from 4 doors down.)
Would he be open to getting off of the internet completely (or limit to a very small number of credible sites)? Maybe you could lean into that just a bit and encourage him to subscribe to the newspaper, get a library card, and get involved in something else. The internet is an incredibly dangerous place for people who are dealing with paranoia of any sort. It gives them more ideas and makes them feel less safe. Plus he could see it as giving “them” less info about him.
Sending big hugs. This is so challenging. You’re doing a great job. Your dad is lucky to have you in his corner.
yourmother, when you are at the doctor, make sure to get added to the HIPAA form as someone they can discuss his health with. Chances are, if you hand it to your father as a “required form” he is likely to sign it. This is an easy first step if you don’t have POA. Even if you do have POA, it’s easier to just be listed rather than prove your POA. Do this at every new doctor/medical treatment facility you go to with him from now on.
Since there is a chance there’s dementia or some other mental illness at play, you need a POA BEFORE he gets that diagnosis. We thought we had longer with my mom and things escalated just so fast.
Your bank can likely notarize it for you. But I’d get something drafted, just in case, and hope you won’t need it for a long time.
I’m sorry. I hope this is something simple and treatable.
There is obviously some mental health stuff going on and I’m glad you are going to the doctor with him.
I know this is going to sound like I’m in on the conspiracy theories too but when did he start claiming the garage door was opening and closing on its own? Before or after security system was installed.
I ask because I have a friend whose garage door actually did this. It was able to be opened with an app and would notify the app users anytime the door would open or close. She started getting notifications when she was home that the door was open or close. She checked cameras and they actually were. Long story short but it started happening after her H installed the security cameras. I don’t remember the exact cause but they were both Wi-Fi enabled and the signals were messing with each other. The cameras were motion activated so if a squirrel would run in from of the camera, it would turn on the camera but also open the garage door.
I understand why you want to foster and maintain the relationship between your father and son. Can you continue to do so while also making sure your son isn't left completely alone with him?
This sounds similar (actually more extreme) than DH's grandmother who continued to watch her grandkids as her dementia and paranoia progressed undetected. The first big red flag was when she was watching the boys (as tweens or young teens) and started carrying a big butcher's knife for "protection." Luckily nothing happened but it was pretty traumatic for the kids.
Post by litskispeciality on Oct 2, 2023 8:14:07 GMT -5
I'll echo HIPPA and POA forms. Also make sure he has an updated will, and find out what your (his) state calls healthcare proxy or medical POA. It's a hard conversation to have, but a lot harder to have when they're unable to authorize. There's another thread somewhere on here with a link to find a lawyer certified in elderly law, although there are only 2 in my dad's state.
ETA: also good to make sure he has beneficiaries on insurance policies and retirement funds. My dad's financial advisor also assisted with another form that's not financial POA, but allows me to help move money if my dad is unable to authorize those changes.
My dad's PCP office also said he has "advanced directive". I still don't understand this, but "it should keep him out of a guardianship", so OP maybe add that to your list of questions for the docs.
ETA: OP and anyone new to this...there is no playbook, and it's reallllly hard. Like others said sometimes it goes down hill fast, and then you're (the child or family) supposed to just know how and what to do. I hope you all have some helpful staff on your side to guide your process. The PCP or psychiatry (if you get that far) *should* have a social worker that can help you as well.