I know the drop off idea sounds crazy, but I honestly would dread it less than the idea of bringing 4 yo DS with us to Louisville. That doesn't sound fun in the slightest. He'd love getting to fly on a plane (immediately pre-pandemic baby has never been on a plane), but he would be tough to manage for basically everything else. We try to avoid taking him to XC meets even near home because from his perspective there's nothing to do but stand around in the cold and push parents' buttons because he's bored. I'm really trying to avoid flying him out for trip that centers around an activity that he isn't going to want to attend. Neither parent really wants to go all the way to Louisville to tread water with DS somewhere so DD can run, and then not see DD run. It's tough.
I guess I could see if MIL could take DS for the weekend. Then H could take DD to Louisville, I could meet them there, and we could both see her run. IDK if that would fly though. FIL is supposed to have a knee replacement early in Dec so I don't know if MIL/they would be up for it.
I think the best option is to tell your daughter that your husband is going to take her. It’ll be a special daddy daughter trip.
I agree. Your dd would prefer you go but it’s just not feasible so dad will take her. It’s better than the crazy travel alternative you laid out or not going at all.
Sounds like I'm in the minority here, perhaps because I was never good at anything, lol. While you're penciling out options if she's flown before and it's a direct flight an unaccompanied minor ticket may make the timing work out. I'd probably want my flight to land before hers took off so you could be sure you'd be there to meet her.
I know the drop off idea sounds crazy, but I honestly would dread it less than the idea of bringing 4 yo DS with us to Louisville. That doesn't sound fun in the slightest. He'd love getting to fly on a plane (immediately pre-pandemic baby has never been on a plane), but he would be tough to manage for basically everything else. We try to avoid taking him to XC meets even near home because from his perspective there's nothing to do but stand around in the cold and push parents' buttons because he's bored. I'm really trying to avoid flying him out for trip that centers around an activity that he isn't going to want to attend. Neither parent really wants to go all the way to Louisville to tread water with DS somewhere so DD can run, and then not see DD run. It's tough.
I guess I could see if MIL could take DS for the weekend. Then H could take DD to Louisville, I could meet them there, and we could both see her run. IDK if that would fly though. FIL is supposed to have a knee replacement early in Dec so I don't know if MIL/they would be up for it.
I think the best option is to tell your daughter that your husband is going to take her. It’ll be a special daddy daughter trip.
I agree with this as well. I’m the preferred/default parent for my girls too and at some point, indulging their preference is too much. If she’s going to be competing long term, I think it’s good to set the precedent early that the whole family isn’t going to prioritize her sport over everything/everybody else. You have a prior commitment, if she wants to go, then dad can take her. If it isn’t important enough to go with dad, I think that also tells you maybe it isn’t as important to her as you think it is. She’s so young, she’s bound to have more opportunities in the future when it isn’t so insane for you to work it out.
Post by purplepenguin7 on Nov 21, 2023 7:47:44 GMT -5
This might not be any easier but what if you met your H somewhere between DC and home that is more drivable…thinking maybe Newark airport? You can take the train (or fly in) from DC and I think if I have your location right it shouldn’t be too hard of a drive.
It’s still the same-ish number of transfers I guess but it’s the fights and airport security time that would make me most nervous.
Post by InBetweenDays on Nov 21, 2023 12:27:30 GMT -5
First of all congrats to your DD! And to the whole family for supporting her.
We are a big sports family and have traveled fairly extensively for tournaments. But I don't know, this seems like a lot of logistics for a single event for an 8 year old. I agree with noodleoo, if she really wants to go then your H can take her. I think it would be a great opportunity for both of them. Otherwise given your work travel and all the other factors I wouldn't feel at all guilty saying it won't work this time.
This is very exciting for your daughter! We have a very competitive swimmer, and she has been since she was 7, so I completely understand. If your child qualifies for these kinds of things I would go, because competition gets harder as kids get older, so this is a great way for her to see if she even likes competing at this level. I feel you about going for a short race, we spent 18.5 hours over 3 days at a pool this weekend and watched our 12 year old swim a total of less than 12 minutes (minus the 19 minute mile she swam). It is a lot, physically and financially, for not a lot of competition, but as long as my daughter wants to put in the work to compete at this level (2.5 hour practices 6 hours a week) and we can make it work we will take her to whatever meets she qualifies for. Good luck, I imagine you guys will be able to work it out and I hope she does great!
We’re a USATF family, too, but our kids don’t even attend the higher level competitions. They just do home meets.
Our friend’s 8 year old was in a similar situation two seasons ago. They joined for fun, but then she qualified up to nationals. They went, but it didn’t turn out to be nearly the amazing experience they had hoped for. According to them, the meet was not as well run as our home meet, and it was just OK. It wasn’t the “Elite Athlete Event” with all of the fanfare that they kind of thought they’d get. (Especially compared to most other sports’ elite events where it’s all flashy and fun and a whole experience.) It was…another meet. With a medal stand. She said if she had known what it would be like, they wouldn’t have gone. That said, talk to others…they may just be hard to please.
That 8U group is small compared to other age groups, so there’s a possibility that this may be a one time opportunity for her. Competition get tougher as they get older. Between the size of the groups and aging up, next year is likely going to look a lot different. How you prepare for that and talk about it is totally dependent on your child’s personality. Some kids are energized by that and others are demotivated by it.
Personally, we would pass. Celebrate her huge success and all she accomplished this season and save that $$$$ for something else really amazing for your family.
She’s 8. Congrats to her on this accomplishment but I wouldn’t do the trip to nationals unless you were going to make it part of a family vacation.
My just-turned-8 year old is the best in his age group at both his baseball and soccer clubs, but we don’t let him do travel because he’s in second grade.
My husband and I were both all-state athletes so we are not coming from a place of hating sports. We just both hate how serious it all feels for kids that young. We don’t want him to specialize at his age and we don’t want sports to run our lives.
My rule for my DS (who is now 11) is no flying for swimming until he is 12. He qualified for the national team for a Caribbean wide meet last year but fortunately it was hosted here so he went. I have told him he wont be going if he qualifies this year as we are going on a family vacation next summer and if you are doing national swimming, that takes over the whole summer holidays.
But after that, if he works hard and makes the times, then we will try and make it work
Follow up: we told DD this morning that she can go.
MIL is going to watch DS for about 1.5 day while everyone is gone. We found a dog walker to cover our dogs for the same period, because our retrievers are more than MIL wants to take on.
H and DD will leave Friday AM for Louisville. The Southwest flight with layover that I was going to have them take, sold out, so now they may drive to EWR but get a nonstop as the upside. They should land in time for her to walk the course in the afternoon and do packet pickup.
I will fly from DC to Louisville to meet them after my work meetings on Fri night. I will be there for her race on Sat AM, then fly back out Saturday afternoon to relieve MIL and the dog sitter. H and DD will keep the hotel so we don't have to juggle checkout with her race on Sat. AM, have a fun evening Sat night, and fly home Sun.
I could have skipped it and just gone home on Fri night, but we could do it, and DD is thrilled.
Post by sometimesrunner on Nov 29, 2023 16:29:42 GMT -5
I think it's pretty impressive that an 8 year old not only WANTS to run those distances, but put in extra miles outside of organized group practices to improve. I would try my best to support that and I would find a way to let her go. If you can't be there, could your H take her? (and your son? Or do you have anyone you could leave your DS with?) Congrats to your daughter, that is quite the accomplishment!