After a month of picking up one or two pieces of mail a week from the post office. We were so excited to pick up our mail from the new mailbox. Not only did I get more mail yesterday than I have in the last month but some of it postdate was in November. Feeling very grateful for my mail carrier and our new box.
I ignored my sisters phone calls last night for my own mental health. When she calls after 8pm she keeps me on the phone for at least an hour and then I have the hardest time going to bed. She is a night owl and is getting her 2nd wind at 9pm while I'm normally in bed by then.
Winter break starts Monday and DD has a full week of things schedule, tooth filling and sealant, acutherapy, orthodontist, and gymnastics. To make all this work she is going to have to go to work with me daily and she is already whining about it. She also wants to get together with her friends but none of them are free when she is free and she is grumbling about that.
Post by librarychica on Dec 14, 2023 12:16:11 GMT -5
I applied for a job in Colorado last night. Do not even have said job, but am already freaking out over the prospect of upsetting all the family by moving.
H meanwhile has such confidence in me that he is sending me rental listings. Reminder, H, not everyone thinks as much of my skills as you. Also he’s just always wanted to move to Colorado
DD2 had her concert last night and did well. Her duet partner kind of whiffed but overall it was a good experience and afterwards we went to a German tavern and introduced her and her sister to polka.
I told maintenance and their boss that my old boss's office will be sprayed for bugs, around the hoard if needed. If she throws a fit, please send her my way, I'd love to give my thoughts on this ridiculousness.
Dd is home and working at her old job during the Holidays to build up her cash flow for spending money for the semester. Between her job, our jobs, and all if the Holidays we want to fit in, time is getting tight.
I missed the Christmas potluck, but apparently there were a lot of comments on how good the brussel sprouts were. Whether sincere or tongue in cheek, I'm not sure.
I missed the Christmas potluck, but apparently there were a lot of comments on how good the brussel sprouts were. Whether sincere or tongue in cheek, I'm not sure.
I was honestly pretty invested in this and I wondered what would happen with the brussel sprouts!!
We're on week 6 or 7 of DH having a nasty cough. We've long given up on trying to keep him isolated, this is just the way he is. Even his teacher has given up on trying to force him to wear a mask in class.
He's on allergy meds and was taking two inhalers with no improvement. We took him for a follow up yesterday and finally saw his *new* doctor (that we switched to last February!), and she is great. She said he's not wheezy, but his breathing is definitely "rough" (I honestly have no idea what that means.) His xrays a few weeks ago showed no localized pneumonia, but definite thickening of the airways/RAD, and she's suspecting some other kind of pneumonia that doesn't show up on an xray. Came home with a massive dose of antibiotics. Last night was the first night he or I slept through the night in forever. He is, of course, coughing like crazy again today, but hopefully the next few days of anitbiotics help.
I also realized today that the memory care facility appears to have messed up. We are paying ~$9k/month for her living arrangements. $4.5k for rent, the rest for care costs (which we know are going to go up). I remember being pleasantly surprised, but my sister handled all of that. I was looking up the address for Christmas cards and.. $4.5k rent is for the assisted living units. Memory care base rent is supposed to be $9k. I am not sure if it was intentional, a mistake in our favor, something else. I let my sister know that we need to be prepared for them to realize the mistake, but it is what it is. What it really means is we need to get our butts in gear and get the house cleaned our and sold before they realize it.
k3am, Last year DS had a cough that lingered forever. The doctor finally realized that it had developed into a "habit cough" and DS just needed to train his brain and his body to stop clearing his throat and coughing. He was making himself worse without even really realizing it. So we had to work hard on getting him to constantly drink water, suck on cough drops, and actively try to hold in his coughs when they would come up. It felt really weird and counterintuitive, but it worked! It had become almost like a reflex or a tic instead of a health problem. It had started with an actual really bad cough/illness but then developed into a reflex/tic/habit after that.
It sounds like your DS is actually still fighting the real illness/cough right now, but just something to keep in mind and watch out for as it progresses.
twinmomma when we went the first time, that was kind of what I thought, so I asked for tessalon pearls since they suppress the feeling of wanting/needing to cough.. of course they said he’s too young, but that the cough was actually necessary. His is “moist and juicy.” I about died trying not to laugh since moist is such a gross word.
DH is traveling for work this week, and I am ready for the week to be over with. DD has turned most of her behavior around. This morning she was looking up jokes and trying to make me laugh because I was tired. A far cry from her normal morning behavior. Although she was grumpy after her band concert because Starbucks was closed. This child.
Mostly just soccer games this weekend and a soccer holiday party. We were supposed to go with friends to the Christkindle market, but the H tested positive for Covid. She left it up to me, and I said we should probably wait. So no major plans for the weekend per se.
I was randomly looking through old emails. They are mostly in my sent folder that I never clean out but many I received also. Some of it was eye opening.
DH seems finally ready to pull the plug on the restaurant. He and his business partner have been getting progressively worse at working together. They argue nonstop about everything and DH is burnt out and sick of it. Except, he still won’t fully commit to what that means. Does he just become a silent investor and do nothing to contribute to the running of the business except wait for his debt to be paid back? Does he do strictly admin work like managing the books and licenses and permits but nothing with day to day? And what will he do for a job to bring in steady pay?
I realize this is a huge life decision, but he’s also been saying this for years. I’m trying so hard to be supportive but it’s starting to feel very “shit or get off the pot” at this point. I don’t know how to support constant limbo anymore.
Tonight he and I got into an argument because he started going on and on about a career he might want next and I was pushing back on his assumptions about the industry since I have some experience with it. He got upset that I wasn’t just supporting him and listening. But, that’s not who I am. I’m a doer and a fixer and I’m going to analyze and get things done. Reflecting back, I know it wasn’t the right approach for tonight. But all his waffling leads to a lot of stress for me too and I don’t think he gets that.
Post by traveltheworld on Dec 15, 2023 0:02:25 GMT -5
We went to the kids' Christmas concert tonight and it was fun.
Question for you ladies - we have a family that we are very close with. The kids grew up together and we take short vacations together. DD appears to be struggling with their daughter (let's call her A). According to DD, A is quite mean to her at school (they are in tbe same class), tells other kids that they are not friends, etc. Dd is a bit of a loner in school and doesn't have many friends in general - that doesn't seem to bother her I general, but A's behaviour does. I've advised DD to ask A about it but according to DD, A just walks away from her.
Should I bring it up with A's parents? We get along great, but they take a very hands off approach when it comes to their kids and firmly in the camp that kids need to figure stuff out on their own.
traveltheworld sure, I think you can bring it up. I wouldn’t bring it up in a way that indicates you think they should do anything about it, but more of a ‘hey, has ( your daughter) said anything about how she and (my daughter) have been getting along at school? And see what her/their take is.
traveltheworld, if you take vacations and spend a lot of time together, yes. Because exclusionary behavior is bullying behavior. We have a family we are very close with, though we haven’t vacationed together. DD was being borderline mean to their daughter at school, and they told me. I really, REALLY appreciated the opportunity to course-correct with her. For them, it was sibling behavior. My DD is the older child while her DD is the younger child, and my DD was just acting like a bossy, impatient older sister. Better a chance to resolve it than to lose friends or put your daughter in a situation where she’s having to spend her free time with a mean girl who is bullying her.
Post by supertrooper1 on Dec 15, 2023 11:59:14 GMT -5
twinmomma, I know how frustrating it can be hearing them waffle about what to do about work. Beau is constantly back and forth on whether he should leave his company or not. I like the saying, "do you want me to just listen, or offer advice?"
It's been an eventful day nothing to do with me personally or work. But having to do with some teenagers hitch hiking and brought to our location as a safe space and the police were called. The person that picked them up and figured out how to get help without them realizing was amazing. Also, teenagers are dumb.
It’s a terrible idea to quit a job with nothing lined up when your industry is in the shitter and you know that the competitors you’d target are either (a) getting ready for a restructure or hiring freeze or (b) lead by a man who is cocky (at best) and every interaction you’ve had with him was obnoxious.
I feel like I need to write this over and over again and maybe I’ll believe it.
DH says quit if I need to. I almost did today. Mid conference call. All internal people, but I was about 3 seconds away from saying “f*#* this %*#* I’m going home!” and slamming my laptop shut. I managed not to cry (well, full on ugly cry. There were tears I don’t think anyone noticed) or cuss anyone out (a Herculean task, since I have a well curated potty mouth).
I’m also pretty sure it’s a strategic risk type offering on DH’s part, since he knows I’ve never quit anywhere, even when I’ve been miserable. My boss told me at lunch today that if I were looking for a new job, he’s 100% supportive.
My boss’s boss told me I need to have some “water cooler” conversations with one of our new senior people so that she learns who I am and that I’m good at my job. By definition.. water cooler conversations are informal chats that happen when you run into each other by the water cooler. Kind of impossible when I’ve been moved to a different floor and no longer sit with the rest of my company, and specifically told to schedule calls on zoom rather than going to the other floor meeting in person.
I’ve been trying to not go into specifics, but at this point.. I don’t think I care if I get fired?
Apparently all DS needed was a few days of antibiotics. Zero coughing. Waiting to hear back from the doctor if we can discontinue the inhaler too.
Work wise.. I reached out to the new senior person for a “water cooler” conversation. Aka I asked to take her to a coffee or lunch meeting. So informal and casual, right? Definitely unplanned.
I also reached out to a friend/former coworker who had previously said they’re not hiring. Told her I was having an existential crisis, and if she wasn’t doing what we do, what would she do? Suddenly they may be hiring in Q1.
DS has a horrible cough. It’s been going on about a week. He gave it to me. So we sound like a TB ward. I took him to urgent care yesterday, and the doc gave us prescription cough medicine and Albuterol to do breathing treatments. (I have a nebulizer because asthma.) I was hoping for antibiotics but nope. If he’s not better tomorrow, I’m using our telehealth service to see if we can get antibiotics because it will have been 11 days. I’m worried it’s walking pneumonia even though she said his lungs sounded clear. He couldn’t do deep breaths for her because he was coughing so violently, so I’m not sure how much she could hear to diagnose.
k3am, I’m sorry. It sounds like the move to another floor was handled really badly. Wtf with “do a Zoom meeting and don’t walk around up here”? A couple of weeks ago, I really was at a breaking point. I had to keep reminding myself I have a mortgage, two kids, and a SAH husband. But I was definitely working the network to find ways out, so I think what you’re doing is smart.
My H has been in limbo with an awful job for way too long as well. At one point he was updating his resume but stopped when he boss made noises about a lateral move for him out of finance into operations. Now he's back at updating his resume and looking outside his current company. H is definitely our breadwinner so he worries about how much of a pay cut he'll be asked to take because we moved away from the Seattle area (where his company is based) 3.5 years ago. I keep reminding him we lived easily on less and could do it again.
mommyatty it is silly. The move was handled as well as it could be, the “schedule a zoom call” was a one off, not a rule. But also when I went to the old floor to buy a soda - they have a vending machine, we don’t - I got some “what are you doing up here?” comments. Not from anyone involved or anyone senior. Actually from a coworker I’m friendly with who is very junior and someone I don’t know. I will go ahead and say I’m overly sensitive on this aspect. (I’ve since bought a twelve pack to keep in my fridge so I don’t need to sully their floor for several weeks. And it’s Diet Dr Pepper, which I highly prefer over Diet Coke.)
I have been giving my boss crap (not to his face) about his response to a few things lately. And now I’m having the exact same concerns. We got so much push back on this deal. It’s not in my wheel house, so I tried to screen it as much as possible. When they had complaints, I asked how does the rest of the company handle it? I’m working off their policy, so if you’re concerned about XYZ, is that a concern for those other divisions? And was told.. I don’t care how they handle it. So is my division being held to a different standard but no playbook? I want to follow the rules, but I can’t if I don’t know them. And my doing deals is a HUGE part of my compensation. My bonus - based on production - works out to be 30-40% of my base pay in a good year. Last year is it was about 20% this year I imagine it will be worse.
@macmars45- I bet that means a lot to your DH. I make a lot of money. A lot. And it used to be my pay was highly variable because over half was in bonus that I had no control over, based solely on a combination of how our company did and how generous our CEO was feeling. So some years I made significantly less than others. And we were fine. Our monthly bills are not high at all. We live on a house we bought for $275k almost twelve years ago. We drive 10 year old cars. We have two kids in private school, which is so expensive. But we don’t take expensive vacations or have expensive hobbies. But every time I consider a job making less that would be less stress, DH acts like I’m recommending we go live in a tent and be homeless. It’s really frustrating and disappointing for me.
Sorry for all of the job frustrations! I was there about 3 years ago. Literally ready to walk and trying to figure out how much of a pay cut I could take. Dh used to be the breadwinner, but now I am, but not by a huge amount.
Both of us working have at times really taken some stress off of the other. If something happens to one job, we would be OK. We are not extravagant either. Maybe no vacation, less entertainment, but we could pay the bills.
My mom being in memory care is the best thing ever. She is spicy. She's social. She's made friends. When I call to chat - *if* she answers - she usually tells me she's busy with XYZ and wants to focus on that. My sister took my nephew to visit, and my mom made them wait outside until she finished up her conversation with a man that she's "getting to know". She has a new best friend.
It is a strange feeling to be relegated to the "I don't have time for you corner" after so many years of her being at home doing nothing and answering her phone regardless of when I called. But I love it for her and wish I'd been able to convince everyone into it sooner.
My mom being in memory care is the best thing ever. She is spicy. She's social. She's made friends. When I call to chat - *if* she answers - she usually tells me she's busy with XYZ and wants to focus on that. My sister took my nephew to visit, and my mom made them wait outside until she finished up her conversation with a man that she's "getting to know". She has a new best friend.
It is a strange feeling to be relegated to the "I don't have time for you corner" after so many years of her being at home doing nothing and answering her phone regardless of when I called. But I love it for her and wish I'd been able to convince everyone into it sooner.
I sure hope this turns out to be the case for my Aunt!