I had to check the calendar to see what day of the week it was before I made this thread. Very out of routine over here. I'm back in the office - I was originally bummed I don't have enough PTO to take the whole week off, but now I'm very glad. I dropped DD1 off at her old daycare for the day and left H and my ILs at home with the twins, and now I'm in a fairly quiet office sipping coffee.
I wish it wasn't going to rain all week, this weather sucks! I need snow, or at least no rain so I can go out for a walk.
Post by followyourarrow on Dec 27, 2023 10:37:06 GMT -5
I worked until 8:30 last night and I'm back at it today. We're implementing a new system at work and it's not going well. The annoying thing to me is that I'm being asked to fix super basic stuff that should have been taken care of several weeks ago. Oh well, they pay me well and I'm here.
My dad's cousin passed away unexpectedly last night. I'm trying to figure out if I need to go to the funeral. I mostly don't want to have to go and hug people I barely know. My family has never been close. I'm honestly not sure I've seen this part of the family in the last 20 years.
My dad's cousin passed away unexpectedly last night. I'm trying to figure out if I need to go to the funeral. I mostly don't want to have to go and hug people I barely know. My family has never been close. I'm honestly not sure I've seen this part of the family in the last 20 years.
What do normal people do in this situation?
Unless it was someone your dad was very close to and your presence would be a comfort to him, I would skip it and send flowers or a donation, whatever the obituary says.
We’re on our way to the beach and it’s raining. I don’t know what’s on the agenda, but at least we’re not home. We’ll head back Saturday morning.
I’ve got piles of stuff for buy nothing when we get back. I already took pictures so I can post them when we’re heading home and hopefully have it all picked up by the new year.
I’m sure no one remembers, but a couple years ago MIL gave us some game where you turn over tiles and it has dice. DH and E attempted it once, but he insisted we keep it. I pulled it out yesterday and he didn’t even remember the game or that she gave it to us. 🤦🏼♀️
I ordered a pair of leggings from Halara for DS1's girlfriend on 11/30. The last tracking information I have shows "Departed Shipping Partner Facility, USPS Awaiting Item" on 12/14. I have no idea where they are, when they're arriving, or if they even still exist. I'm highly annoyed.
Post by midwestmama on Dec 27, 2023 10:52:41 GMT -5
Yesterday, we met some of DH's mom's family at a breakfast place yesterday to celebrate DH's grandpa's birthday. MIL loves to sow discord in the family, so she said something to her step-mother that made SM upset. (MIL claims she didn't mean to, but DH and I actually think she did it on purpose, since we know MIL doesn't like her SM. (To be honest, most people don't like the SM/DH's grandpa's wife, since she inserted herself at DH's grandma's funeral (I wasn't there to witness it, though, as it happened a few years before DH and I met).) Thankfully it was around the time everyone was leaving, but it still made it awkward.
Today through the rest of the week, DH and I are working, but thankfully we are WFH. It is a "no meetings" week, so I can catch up on a few things and hopefully have time to do a few trainings.
DH just realized that he didn't use his vision benefits for the year, so that's awesome. I love wasting money. (sarcasm) He called our eye doctor's office this morning to get on the cancellation list for this week. Crossing fingers that someone cancels and he can get in.
I need to contact the company that I ordered DS's Christmas gift NFL jersey from, to find out why it is still showing as "processing" after 2.5 weeks.
DS broke up with his girlfriend last night and we didn't get much sleep. It was his choice but it's his first girlfriend and they were together almost a year. He had very mixed feelings about it and my heart hurts for him. I think he liked having a girlfriend more than he liked her specifically. But it's still rough around here today.
My dad's cousin passed away unexpectedly last night. I'm trying to figure out if I need to go to the funeral. I mostly don't want to have to go and hug people I barely know. My family has never been close. I'm honestly not sure I've seen this part of the family in the last 20 years.
What do normal people do in this situation?
Unless it was someone your dad was very close to and your presence would be a comfort to him, I would skip it and send flowers or a donation, whatever the obituary says.
Post by mcppalmbeach on Dec 27, 2023 10:57:21 GMT -5
My mom loves animals and several years ago she was asked to help feed a feral cat colony 10 minutes from her house. That means she has to do it everyday. She has no help and she wouldn’t accept help anyway because people don’t do it “right.” This costs her a ton of money (feeding 30 cats) and means she cannot go on vacation, every holiday the cats must be tended to, every time we have an evening obligation for my kids or a birthday dinner we have to schedule around when she can do the cats. The cats must be fed at dusk. The place where she does this is an isolated warehouse district. She has been yelled at by people even though this isn’t on private property. At times my dad has helped her like if she wants to come up to my house or go see her bff overnight who has moved several hours away. He has said that he doesn’t want to do this anymore. I don’t blame him. He has saved no money for retirement and my mom is paying for everything out of money she received from a sale of rhe family business and they are not in great financial shape at all. She holds this over his head to keep doing it. The dysfunction is real. I love animals and I know she wants to help them, but this has become just ridiculous. She was just yelling at me about my dad not helping her anymore and said she’ll never be able to come up to our house:..I mean you have made the decision that this your priority, you can’t make it anyone else’s. I am so fed up.
My mom loves animals and several years ago she was asked to help feed a feral cat colony 10 minutes from her house. That means she has to do it everyday. She has no help and she wouldn’t accept help anyway because people don’t do it “right.” This costs her a ton of money (feeding 30 cats) and means she cannot go on vacation, every holiday the cats must be tended to, every time we have an evening obligation for my kids or a birthday dinner we have to schedule around when she can do the cats. The cats must be fed at dusk. The place where she does this is an isolated warehouse district. She has been yelled at by people even though this isn’t on private property. At times my dad has helped her like if she wants to come up to my house or go see her bff overnight who has moved several hours away. He has said that he doesn’t want to do this anymore. I don’t blame him. He has saved no money for retirement and my mom is paying for everything out of money she received from a sale of rhe family business and they are not in great financial shape at all. She holds this over his head to keep doing it. The dysfunction is real. I love animals and I know she wants to help them, but this has become just ridiculous. She was just yelling at me about my dad not helping her anymore and said she’ll never be able to come up to our house:..I mean you have made the decision that this your priority, you can’t make it anyone else’s. I am so fed up.
I'm sorry. I would honestly be so angry if my mom decided feeding feral cats was more important than time with family or having a secure retirement.
DS broke up with his girlfriend last night and we didn't get much sleep. It was his choice but it's his first girlfriend and they were together almost a year. He had very mixed feelings about it and my heart hurts for him. I think he liked having a girlfriend more than he liked her specifically. But it's still rough around here today.
I'm sure it's hard to see him sad, but it's great that he was strong enough to end it. I was basically unraised and it still makes me sad to think about the relationships that I stayed in because I had no idea how to end them. Or that I was even "allowed" to end them.
My mom loves animals and several years ago she was asked to help feed a feral cat colony 10 minutes from her house. That means she has to do it everyday. She has no help and she wouldn’t accept help anyway because people don’t do it “right.” This costs her a ton of money (feeding 30 cats) and means she cannot go on vacation, every holiday the cats must be tended to, every time we have an evening obligation for my kids or a birthday dinner we have to schedule around when she can do the cats. The cats must be fed at dusk. The place where she does this is an isolated warehouse district. She has been yelled at by people even though this isn’t on private property. At times my dad has helped her like if she wants to come up to my house or go see her bff overnight who has moved several hours away. He has said that he doesn’t want to do this anymore. I don’t blame him. He has saved no money for retirement and my mom is paying for everything out of money she received from a sale of rhe family business and they are not in great financial shape at all. She holds this over his head to keep doing it. The dysfunction is real. I love animals and I know she wants to help them, but this has become just ridiculous. She was just yelling at me about my dad not helping her anymore and said she’ll never be able to come up to our house:..I mean you have made the decision that this your priority, you can’t make it anyone else’s. I am so fed up.
She was aske to help, but how is this "helping"? Did someone just dump this on her? Why must these wild animals be fed at dusk?
My ILs are like a broken record every visit. I don't know if it's because they don't have anything new going on in their lives/have no hobbies or what. It's just a constant circle of complaints about MILs dad and gf, discussion of a trip we should take as a family using their timeshare points (to the most boring place ever because these people are so boring), and MIL talking about being a "twin" and comparing that to our twins. The last one especially gets me, because 1. Being a twin is very different from raising them 2. SHE'S NOT A TWIN. They're Irish twins. I have to control my face every time.
Post by blondemoment123 on Dec 27, 2023 11:16:49 GMT -5
H had another bleeding episode last night and we had to call 911 since it wouldn't stop. He had this happen when DS was a newborn and was told to see a specialist then but never did. He's had other episodes over the past few years but was able to get the bleeding to stop. I've told him countless times to make at least an appointment with a PCP, but of course he didn't.
Maybe TW (bodily fluids mentioned)***
His bedroom looks like a crime scene. I did my best to remove the blood but the carpet will absolutely have to be replaced. DS was petrified and all H did was yell at him. I tried my best to keep DS away, but it was chaos. The medics and firefighters were fantastic.
He was discharged at 3am with the same instructions as 6 years ago. I sent him a list of doctors and am hoping he calls. If nothing else, your kid seeing you in a pool of blood should be a wake up call.
I'm emotionally and physically exhausted. My boss was understanding and let me take the day off even though work is going to be insane today.
Our brand new washer died last Friday. Good news is Maytag is paying for the $300 part and labor to fix it even though the warranty expired on 12/13. Bad news is the part is out of stock everywhere and they don’t know when they’ll have it. Could be days, weeks or months. It’s a computer chip issue. Great. I have 2 kids under 4 years old. This should be fun.
Post by bugmeetsworld on Dec 27, 2023 11:23:37 GMT -5
DH took the kids to meet part of his family for a belated Christmas celebration and his gift to me was letting me stay home! I can’t remember the last time I’ve had the house to myself. So far, all I’ve done is sit on the couch drinking coffee and eating biscotti.
My mom loves animals and several years ago she was asked to help feed a feral cat colony 10 minutes from her house. That means she has to do it everyday. She has no help and she wouldn’t accept help anyway because people don’t do it “right.” This costs her a ton of money (feeding 30 cats) and means she cannot go on vacation, every holiday the cats must be tended to, every time we have an evening obligation for my kids or a birthday dinner we have to schedule around when she can do the cats. The cats must be fed at dusk. The place where she does this is an isolated warehouse district. She has been yelled at by people even though this isn’t on private property. At times my dad has helped her like if she wants to come up to my house or go see her bff overnight who has moved several hours away. He has said that he doesn’t want to do this anymore. I don’t blame him. He has saved no money for retirement and my mom is paying for everything out of money she received from a sale of rhe family business and they are not in great financial shape at all. She holds this over his head to keep doing it. The dysfunction is real. I love animals and I know she wants to help them, but this has become just ridiculous. She was just yelling at me about my dad not helping her anymore and said she’ll never be able to come up to our house:..I mean you have made the decision that this your priority, you can’t make it anyone else’s. I am so fed up.
She was aske to help, but how is this "helping"? Did someone just dump this on her? Why must these wild animals be fed at dusk?
So there was a woman who worked at the pet store my mom went to in the general location of where the cats are. She fed this colony and a colony in a different area. She knew how much my mom loves cats and asked if she would want to take over feeding the closer colony because it was really hard for her to get to both spots after work everyday. It was originally billed as “I can do this but whenever I want a vacation or a night off xyz will come do this.” Unfortunately xyz got a promotion to another store and is no longer in the area. They must be fed at dusk because that’s when they come out. During the day you couldn’t find a cat if you tried. You cannot leave the food too early because birds will eat it (dry food) or it will bake in the sun and be inedible (wet food). Also there are open businesses in that area and they really don’t want food out there during business hours, which is understandable. My mom has been threatened by people who don’t like the cats. She weighs less than 100 pounds and has mobility issues, can’t walk without a cane.
blondemoment123, oh my god, that is so scary! Your H definitely needs to not put off getting that checked out? wtf?? Sorry you had to deal with all that. What caused the bleeding?
My dad's cousin passed away unexpectedly last night. I'm trying to figure out if I need to go to the funeral. I mostly don't want to have to go and hug people I barely know. My family has never been close. I'm honestly not sure I've seen this part of the family in the last 20 years.
What do normal people do in this situation?
I would not go in this situation but I'm only semi-normal so what do I know.
Outside of being emotional support for my H when he's lost someone close to him, I've only gone to a handful of funerals. It's definitely something I only do if I want to.
My dad's cousin passed away unexpectedly last night. I'm trying to figure out if I need to go to the funeral. I mostly don't want to have to go and hug people I barely know. My family has never been close. I'm honestly not sure I've seen this part of the family in the last 20 years.
What do normal people do in this situation?
I would say I’m fairly close to my dad/family. My dad’s cousin died last year and I didn’t go to the funeral. He didn’t mention or ask or expect me to go from what I could tell.
Post by arehopsveggies on Dec 27, 2023 11:32:56 GMT -5
We are in the mountains and I have zero plans to do anything. Probably can’t even hike because 8 year olds cough is too bad.
So, sitting with coffee and a book watching trees out the window. It’s wonderful.
If it warms up enough I might get a Starbucks (not something I can do if we are home) and take the kids to the park.
I feel a little guilty because DH had to stay home for work. We left the house absolutely trashed from Christmas. I know he will get it all cleaned up.
Thanks everyone for the thoughts on the funeral. I asked my dad to let me know when it is, but haven't offered to go yet. I really thought the prevailing opinion would be to go, so I'm glad to be wrong. Odds are it wouldn't be easy to go anyhow (I have an unusually busy few days ahead of me).
mcppalmbeach, I wonder if a local cat rescue group would have some suggestions for other volunteers who might be able to help your mom. That does not sound like a safe or sustainable thing for her to continue doing, not to mention the toll it's taking on her relationships and finances.
blondemoment123, I'm so sorry your kiddo had to see his dad like that! I really hope for all of your sakes that he books an appointment with a doctor ASAP. Under the circumstances he might even be able to get in immediately with a new PCP--this is a really slow week at my H's practice because people aren't eager to make routine doctor's appointments or new patient appointments during the holidays, so even though he's usually booked weeks/months out he's been able to see people this week who otherwise wouldn't have been able to get in for quite awhile.
Today my sister has my nephews back after they spent Christmas with their dad, so we're going over to my parents' house this afternoon to give them their gifts and hang out a bit. My kids love any chance to see their cousins, though I suspect DS 2 may start to resist by the end of the week--we're going to spend time with them today, tomorrow, and Sunday for a "noon year's eve" party at the aquarium. My kids are 13 and 16, and my nephews are 4 and 5, and the age gap is sometimes a lot of fun (talking about Santa, playing Legos) and sometimes a challenge.
She was aske to help, but how is this "helping"? Did someone just dump this on her? Why must these wild animals be fed at dusk?
So there was a woman who worked at the pet store my mom went to in the general location of where the cats are. She fed this colony and a colony in a different area. She knew how much my mom loves cats and asked if she would want to take over feeding the closer colony because it was really hard for her to get to both spots after work everyday. It was originally billed as “I can do this but whenever I want a vacation or a night off xyz will come do this.” Unfortunately xyz got a promotion to another store and is no longer in the area. They must be fed at dusk because that’s when they come out. During the day you couldn’t find a cat if you tried. You cannot leave the food too early because birds will eat it (dry food) or it will bake in the sun and be inedible (wet food). Also there are open businesses in that area and they really don’t want food out there during business hours, which is understandable. My mom has been threatened by people who don’t like the cats. She weighs less than 100 pounds and has mobility issues, can’t walk without a cane.
I'm sure she feels stuck, but that is a lot for her to have to do. And so expensive! Maybe a rescue could help? Kids need service hours, this sounds like a project that could provide that and maybe a rescue could help raise money.
The control board of my dryer melted yesterday, it’s 12 years old and the repair would probably cost as much as a new one so we’re going to get both a new dryer and washer, as they’re stacked and it’s probably only a matter of time before the washer bites the dust too. Not thrilled to have an unexpected $2k expense the week after Christmas!
mcppalmbeach This might sound heartless, but what would happen if she just stopped feeding them? Would they transition to catching their own food? I don’t know much about feral cats but that does not sound like a good situation for your mom at all.
blondemoment123, oh my god, that is so scary! Your H definitely needs to not put off getting that checked out? wtf?? Sorry you had to deal with all that. What caused the bleeding?
A burst varicose vein.
nsl He's fast asleep on the couch but will tell him when he wakes up. Thanks for the tip!