Moms- a toddler question

[JakJak]

My sweet little boy has turned into a beast recently. He is biting, pinching, and hitting constantly. So far he hasn't hurt anyone besides my husband and myself but it's gotten out of control. What I have been doing is sternly saying "No. No (hit/bite/pinch)" and walking away. The things I've been reading just keep saying redirect his behavior, but I feel like it's not working.

If you had issues with this, how did you handle it? I don't know if he's old enough to understand time out, but I'm open to suggestions.

[meltoine]

We started time outs around that age for the same reason.

[JakJak]

Thanks! I think that's what we are going to have to start doing

[meltoine]

I have a blanket on the floor in one corner of the living room that we use for time out. I do one minute for every year in age - so when we started it was just one minute and now he gets 90 seconds.

When I put him on the blanket I tell him "we don't hit" or whatever behavior is not allowed. If he gets up before time is over i just sit him back down without saying anything. When time is up I explain again what the tie out what for and ask him to apologize. He still can't say sorry yet but he will give me a hug and a sad little pouty face, then I know he's gotten the message.

[kcd0531]

Time outs for sure; the general rule of thumb is one minute for every year they are old.

Good luck!

[piper84]

Oh wow... I had no idea this type of behavior started so early on! My little boy is only 2 months old right now and I (naively) assumed he'd be my sweet little angel until he was about 3 years old!!!

[pesci]

Sept 26, 2012 10:53:27 GMT -5 @piper84 said:

Oh wow... I had no idea this type of behavior started so early on! My little boy is only 2 months old right now and I (naively) assumed he'd be my sweet little angel until he was about 3 years old!!!

This made me lol. My little one started the "terrible twos" at like, 15 months. She is usually really sweet, but she definitely has her moments where she can be a beast.

[JakJak]

Thanks for all the advice, I think time outs will be the best way to handle this situation. Hopefully it will stop some of the behaviors. Piper- he was so sweet (and still is, he just has his moments), but as soon as he turned 1 the attitude came out. I was completely unprepared!

[YellowRose]

How does he tell you he's frustrated? Do you sign with him at all? Some of this could be attitude, and some could be that he's mad/upset/frustrated and has no other way to tell you.

My oldest was a hitter when she got mad. We started telling her to "show me" what she wanted, and that helped a lot. If she was hungry and I wasn't understanding what she wanted from the pantry, I'd pick her up and say "Show me." I'd move her all around until she could point to or grab what she wanted.

[erin2903]

Oh yes we are fully in the midst of terrible twos at 17 months. He has only hit us so far but he does it a lot. He busted my lip last week by hitting me with his sippy cup while we were in bed. We do time outs but it doesn't seem to be working, lol. We also cute repeat very sternly that "we don't hit." I have no advice but I can sympathize.

[JakJak]

Sept 26, 2012 12:46:07 GMT -5 YellowRose said:

How does he tell you he's frustrated? Do you sign with him at all? Some of this could be attitude, and some could be that he's mad/upset/frustrated and has no other way to tell you.

My oldest was a hitter when she got mad. We started telling her to "show me" what she wanted, and that helped a lot. If she was hungry and I wasn't understanding what she wanted from the pantry, I'd pick her up and say "Show me." I'd move her all around until she could point to or grab what she wanted.

He doesn't talk or sign, but is pretty good at showing us what he wants. It doesn't really seem to be out of frustration though, but I hadn't even thought of that potentially being a cause of it

[YellowRose]

DD1 was a hitter. To be honest, the only thing that was effective was telling her that she could hit. But only herself. She wasn't allowed to hit anyone but herself. She did a few times, but then stopped (I believe she figured out that it hurt). I used the same tactic for biting the few times she tried.

Tactic worked for DD2, who was trying to be a biter. They both did it (hitting and biting) because it got a reaction.

[bettydraper]

Oh yes! We're struggling with the aggressive hitting/kicking/screaming right now x TWO. They don't bite yet, but I'm sure its coming. Sharing is a big thing here right now too. Time outs don't really work for us, unless I put them in their cribs, which seems counter productive because that's their bed. A pack n play might work, though.

If I put one in timeout the other tries to distract them. Its a mess. I usually get down on eye level, look them square in the eye and explain that hitting, etc hurts. I comfort the baby/person who was hit in front of the hitter to reinforce that their behavior hurt someone. I then try to re-direct them onto something new. My sister let me borrow a book that deals with this style of parenting. I'm not sure what its called, I'll have to look it up. So far it seems to at least make them think before they hit/kick, etc. I see hesitation sometimes when they're thinking about getting mad and reacting. We'll see. I think this is just the definition of toddler. Its a rough phase!

Yellow Rose, I might pick your brain since your twins are a little older! This is by far the toughest age for us, its rocking our world.