Open Letters

[mae0111]

Anything?

[mae0111]

Dear Local Wildlife -

I don't know which one of you is responsible, but can you not have picnics on my patio? I get that you need to eat, but we have plenty of wooded areas around where you can hide and feast. I do not appreciate having to pick up bits of bird that were frozen to the patio this morning. I can't get the blood up because it's too cold to chip the ice away. My dog, however, was thrilled with the leftovers you provided.

Signed,
The management

[supertrooper1]

Dear snow,

Keep falling. I have no where I have to go today and it's very pretty outside.

Signed,
Enjoying watching it snow

Dear DS,

I hope you have fun today with your dad on your snow day from school. Please get outside and go sledding! He has the perfect driveway for it.

Love,
Mom

[rere]

Dear workplace,

I have spent your precious money shampooing and scrubbing carpet because it looks like something was killed in my new office. Meanwhile, the former occupants new office is already trashed, yet she has time to go around and make people's life difficult.

Signed, you know I can retire soon and it's looking tempting.

[waverly]

Dear co-worker,

We talked birthday parties a lot recently, so I was shocked to hear that a guest broke their wrist at your DD's roller skating party. Did not see that one coming. Yikes!

Signed,
Co-worker

[erbear]

Dear weather,

I love snow, I do. I love missing school. But if I do my colonoscopy prep on Thursday night and Friday morning, then my procedure is cancelled because of snow, I am going to be really really mad.

Don't do it.
Erbear

[macmars45]

Dear self,

Good job driving in the snow today! I was anxious but it was manageable (thanks to my bff lexapro). Next up, work on being a little more patient with autistic DS(7.5) who needs people to listen to his very important ideas while driving in said snow.

Proud of myself,
macmars

[186momx]

Dear ice
Go the f away.
Me

Dear clients
Thanks so much for understanding why I haven't made it to the office all week. Hopefully tomorrow we will have power and I can get you everything you need.
Stressing accountant/tax lady

Dear DD
Teaching the dog algebra is hilarious
Bored child...who's mom was not laughing

[dglvrk2]

Dear Mom, you and Dad are retired. Your travel schedule is flexible, as it should be at your age. For months you planned to visit some of your good friends who live several states away from you as well as me and Sister during grandchildren's ski/skate week. (Note my sister lives about 45 minutes away from me.) This was fine. Now you purchased airplane tickets to visit us all the following week. You purchased them without asking us first. That week is tough because of work and other obligations. I generally get stressed out hosting you because you are very involved in everything when you're in my house. All of these combined are already stressing me out. I haven't responded to your text about the visit yet. Would it be rude to ask you to stay in a hotel? Or ask Sister to have you stay with her the entire time? (She does have a larger house and is a SAHM with more time on her hands.....)
Your annoyed daughter who doesn't want your feelings hurt, but can't host like you expect
Aka Black Sheep

[twinmomma]

Dear MIL,
I appreciate that you want us to visit west coast extended family when we are there in April, since it's such a rarity for us to all be together. But DH, the kids, and I are flying in late Thursday night, attending the family wedding festivities on Saturday, and flying home Sunday. Add in the time change, and we are going to be exhausted. This trip is already going to be a stressful, exhausting situation but we're making it work for the wedding. There is no way I'm also trekking from San Diego to LA and back again on Friday with these kids to visit DH's aunt who is like 95 years old. As David Rose would say, "I won't be doing any of that."
Best Wishes, Warmest Regards,
DIL

Dear DH,
I don't want to "told you so" about your son's sleeping situation, but.... I told you so. Last night you couldn't do the work you had to do to prep for an event today until midnight because DS had a complete meltdown and refused to go to sleep without you in his bed so you ended up stuck in his room dealing with that for hours. How does that saying go? "You made your bed, now sleep in it." Turns out, the bed you made is DS's.... But will you learn from this and try to fix it? Probably not. For the love of God, do everyone a favor and work on this mess.
Signed,
Wife who refuses to help and get involved in this anymore

[mommyatty]

Dear WP,

After an epic meltdown at school last Friday where DS started hitting himself in the head with a keyboard and the school checked him for a concussion, didn’t call us, and then sent him back to class where he then attacked another kid, we withdrew him from his school. They are freaking morons, and in the words of DS’s therapist, there is something going on there that DS isn’t expressing, but this behavior is not in the realm of what any of us consider the possible for him.

So now we are checking out other schools, including the school we originally had him in where DD goes. He never had behavior issues there, and he was academically challenged. I talked with the new learning coordinator who helps with kids with learning differences, and he was amazing. So fingers crossed that we find a good fit for him.

Signed,
Optimistic Mom of a 2E Kid Who Has Had a Hard Week

[mae0111]

mommyatty, I'm so sorry all of that happened with your DS, and that the school was failing him. He's so, so lucky to have you in his corner. I hope you find the right spot soon.

Mae

Dear Kids -

It seems that I have to invest in a good amount of bubble wrap for you, as we're on our 4th fracture in less than 12 months. Elbow and wrist for DD1 last year, then wrist for DD2, and now ankle for DD1. Let's just burn through that deductible!!!

Mom

[k3am]

Dear Target,

You have locked up so much of your store behind glass cabinets that I don't bother going in. Considering that a lot of that stuff can't be picked up and carried around now, it's shocking that your inventory management system can't determine how many of something you have. I just want to buy a last minute birthday gift, and going to your store pisses me off now, and TWICE now the items I've selected have shown up as out of stock two hours later. This is the kind of stuff that drives me to shop at Amazon.

Signed,
Annoyed with you and with me for waiting until the last minute.