DD1 babysitting situation WWYD

[dglvrk2]

DD1 has a standing Sunday babysitting job. She watches kids either at the family's house or at our local ski area while the family skis. Last night, the mom, who is very high energy, asked her to bring her skis so she could help them"teach" their 18 month old and four year old to ski. DD1 is really reluctant to do this. That she is a good skier but doesn't see how she could contribute to teaching such young children how to ski. The weather is also supposed to be pretty stormy today and she's a fair weather skier. The dad, who is much less gregarious than the mom, is picking her up at our house in about an hour. She's planning to"forget" her skis, ski clothing, etc.
She is perfectly happy keeping an eye on these children at the ski area, taking them out to play, feeding them lunch, etc. Etc. but doesn't want to ski with them.

Wondering if I should say anything or let it go. My inclination is to stay out of it because they didn't talk to me about this. That being said, I'm good friends with the mom and I'm wondering if a quick phone call to her explaining the situation would help the day.

[librarychica]

Since you’re good friends with the mom and your Dd is pretty young (I think she’s about the same age as mine? 12?) I’d give a quick call. But I’d also remind her to address these things in the moment. Especially when she starts babysitting for people who aren’t family friends. Her stance is perfectly reasonable and it’s always easier to set expectations up front.

[dglvrk2]

librarychica Good call! I called the mom. She was totally Cool with DD1 (age 12.5) just hanging at the ski resort with kids and not skiing herself. We hung up. 3 minutes later she called back to say they felt like they had bitten off more they could chew and were wondering if DD1 could just stay at their house with their 18-month-old. Having been the Mom who couldn't wait to get her littles on skis, I completely get having visions of our family happily skiing down the mountain. However, that's rarely the reality until they are in grade school.

[waverly]

I think you handled it right to help your DD set the boundary. I generally find it better to communicate plans and expectations beforehand rather than on purpose forgetting things. That could set them up to have to rethink their plans and ideas last minute while put on the spot, so it’s easier to do that beforehand so they have time to come up with a new plan.

[sdlaura]

I think this is a great opportunity for her to advocate for herself. It’s quite possible that the mom knows your DD likes to ski and thinks she would have fun doing it. Your DD should talk to her and say she’s not comfortable doing that.

ETA - sounds like you handled it well!

[campermom]

I’m a grown adult mom who used to
Be a ski instructor and even I think that was an insane ask. Lol
I wouldn’t be able to manage that