Sister divorce

[sadlebred]

Only anecdotal information from my friends, but NC is a hot mess when it comes to getting a divorce. Has she personally contacted Legal Aid NC? They can help with civil matters. legalaidnc.org/. She can also call her local probate or family court for referrals. If she does not have the capacity because of health issues to understand the finances and divorce proceedings, her estranged spouse may have to pay for an attorney for her or it may have to come out of "marital assets." A judge may have to make that decision; it would help if she has a local family member to advocate for her in this capacity with the court. It's also possible the local court system may have such lay advocates; she would need to call.

The STBX isn't being completely clear with their finances. There has to be more to it than that. Also, if her name is on the mortgage note, he has to refinance or she could be on the hook if he doesn't pay. She's most likely liable for the solar and other loans he's taken out in the last year with or without her knowledge.

[ellipses84]

How old is the child? How long were they married? Was there infidelity on his or her part? Did she ever work while married or how long has she not worked? NC is no fault but that can impact things like alimony.

Not a lawyer. Theres definitely a lot of red flags that he’s benefiting more financially than her and/or he’s made some poor financial decisions like taken on more debt and possibly 401k loans and remortgaging the house so there may not be many assets left. Selling after divorce benefits him if the value increases.

If he failed to disclose financial info for the separation agreement or she felt desperate and coerced into signing it without legal representation, I’m sure it can be decided for she the final. They just factor money that has been spent to date.

Google NC child support calculator and tru some of them. There’s some lawyer websites (hopefully they are up to date) that can give you an idea of what she’d be entitled to.

Can you do some free phone consultation with her and a lawyer to see if they can answer some questions? Would anyone in your family be able to pay for a retainer if the lawyer thinks he’ll have to pay all legal fees? Also ask if living in an RV could impact the custody arrangement. That would be my only fear- that he could fight things, cost money in lawyer fees, not have many more assets to give and give her less visitation for child support reasons.

[ellipses84]

That’s so difficult to deal with. See what the lawyers say. I think she’d be entitled to alimony, and have minimal child support because even if she only gets 25% visitation he makes so much more than her and the child support calculators try to make the quality of life for the child comparable at each home. Primarily supporting a spouse and child and then leaving them with nothing shouldn’t happen if she can get a decent lawyer. Also a lot more states default to a 50-50 visitation unless there’s a very good reason not to (like abuse/ neglect or the parents agree to something else due to work schedules). Make sure there are stipulations so he can’t move far away if he does sell the house (with some flexibility in the area since she will have to move). If he doesn’t have much money he probably will threaten to, but not actually drag things out, especially if there’s a good chance he has to pay all lawyer feels. To keep lawyer fees low you really have to do as much as you can yourself and not ask constant questions or ask them to be the intermediary for communication. I think a retainer and court filings could be $5-10k in MCOL, but the more communication, unresolved mediation sessions or court dates increase that and spiteful people with $$$ definition rack up $50k in lawyer fees for divorces, making that $21k average.

If he’s manipulative and there’s not a lot of assets, a clean break and helping her get a car and eventually into housing may be a better use of your family’s resources.