Thursday Updates

[twinmomma]

How's the week going? 

[twinmomma]

My girls are supposed to be in theater camp this week during school break. On Tuesday night ExH called and told me they both had very minor fevers of around 99.5 and asked me if he should send them to camp the next day. I told him to give them some tylenol and check it out in the morning, but it sounded like they were otherwise completely fine to attend. Yesterday he checks in and says they had no fevers and were off to camp. When I picked them up yesterday at the end of camp they both looked miserable and DD1 fell asleep instantly in the car. Took their temps at home - 103! The poor kids were absolutely miserable. It's started to come down today, but seems to spike back up when the medicine wears off. I feel so bad, they were so excited for theater camp and now it's looking like they'll miss the rest of the week and the show. I know they're not feeling well because neither of them has gotten out of bed since they got home yesterday and they haven't protested at all about missing camp. But I know they're going to be heartbroken.

[mustardseed2007]

One of DD's BFFs is going to be leaving our school to go to another one. TBH I really like this mom too and she's done a ton with me to make events happen at the school in a really high quality way. I'm as sad for me as I am for DD...and even the school. That's how it rolls sometimes but I'm so terribly disappointed.

There's other stuff going on but I don't even want to write down, it's too much crap. Other than to say I'm definitely going to resign from our HOA board after this next annual meeting. We don't have a "put your trash can away" HOA, we have a HOA that maintains contracts for trash/mosquito spray/constables and maintains the pool and clubhouse. It's becoming too much at a time when I have nothing in me.

This weekend along with everything else I'm going to have to walk the neighborhood and ask people to agree to an assessment increase to help cover the cost of increasing services and to upgrade the pool facility. I do not want to do this so bad. But I am currently committed so here we are.

[xctsclrx]

I'm done with my master's program!!! I submitted my last paper and I'm waiting on my final grade, but I only need a 54 to get an A in the class so I am 99% sure I am going to have a 4.0!!!

[sdlaura]

I’m sorry twinmomma! That happens relatively frequently when my kids are sick - that they seem ok on the morning but it gets worse during the day. I hope they feel better soon.

mustardseed2007 I was part of one HOA at a place we owned almost 20 years ago and quickly decided never again. Glad you’re getting out of it soon.

xctsclrx congrats!!

DH got overwhelmed last night by discovering a puppy poop accident (in a pretty crazy and hard to reach place under our bed) at the same time he was helping the toddler on the potty and said some not nice things and we had an argument about how he acted after the kids were in bed. So he slept in his backyard office last night. We’ll see what happens today. ETA - when I came downstairs he came inside and gave me a long hug and smiled sheepishly. He didn’t say anything but all the kids are around. So I think we’ll probably just move on.

[librarychica]

Feb 29, 2024 9:18:51 GMT -5 xctsclrx said:

I'm done with my master's program!!! I submitted my last paper and I'm waiting on my final grade, but I only need a 54 to get an A in the class so I am 99% sure I am going to have a 4.0!!!

This is amazing! Congratulations!

[librarychica]

mustardseed2007, I’m not on our HoA but I’ve been volunteering with the PTA and was complaining about the work the other day. My mom said something dismissive about my inability to decorate for a party and I snapped at her that I’m actually collecting bids and doing all the grant paperwork for a outdoor facility project TYVM. People don’t realize how much work goes into these volunteer jobs! Take the break you need!

I’m not looking forward to this weekend. DD1 has her first school dance Friday and, idk, I feel like this is inviting drama. Then my SIL and her 5 kids are visiting for the weekend and I love them all, my girls are on cloud nine, but it’s been a very busy week and I kind of wish I could just chill in a quiet house. Plus my period is about to start. Oh well. It’ll get in the mood eventually.

[twinmomma]

Congratulations xctsclrx !!!

[supertrooper1]

Great job xctsclrx!

[supertrooper1]

I had an appointment with my asthma doctor on Tuesday, thinking I would be switching to a new medication since I thought my current one has been causing hives on and off for the last few months. But she believes it's an immune system issue and not the medication, so she requested a bunch of blood work that all came back normal. She also told me to take 4X the instructed dosage of Zyrtec, so we'll see if that helps.

My coworker is now done with chemo and radiation for her breast cancer. So far everything is looking good for her. I'm so happy that she's through the toughest part. I know she's looking forward to her hair growing back.

[mae0111]

Congratulations xctsclrx!! That's amazing!!

DD2 is having a birthday party this weekend. I'm so excited for her - she hasn't had once since she turned 5 because for 6 we went to Disney, then 7 was when COVID started and was still in full force for 8, and then... we just didn't and she's turning 11. It looks super fun - it's at a splatter paint place. So I spent the morning getting goodie bag stuff, packing up everything we will need for the party, etc. And in the process, I missed a meeting. Oops.

I feel very much at peace since deciding to give my notice to my client, but now my anxiety is ramping up a bit. They have a big charity golf tournament every September. Last year, a coworker (also part time) and I spent ALLLL of our time on this tournament for the 3 weeks leading up to it. I'm resigning. She went on maternity leave 2 days after the tournament last year and never came back. I thought I found someone to run it, and she told me today that she's not interested. I have a feeling that I'm going to get pulled back in to run it. I'm happy to volunteer day of - it's a hard day of work and I enjoy it - but I do NOT want to run the whole thing. But it's for a charity that I hold close to my heart, so I have a feeling that I will end up doing it... because I just can't say no...

The bottom line is that I'm not good at keeping a wall up between work and home. And I'm not sure I ever will be. So I will experiment with just doing projects to keep myself out of the day-to-day stuff.

[k3am]

8 days on the market and DH's parents house is now pending. They're selling for $25k over list and getting a two month free rent back, so hopefully that's enough time to get them into a new place. But it's done! Now we need them to get an offer on a new place accepted in the next 15 days. (The senior community they're looking at apparently has a 45 day diligence/close period due to the HOA... I don't claim to understand this at all - DH is handling it all.)

DH and his brother are butting heads in the process. And I weirdly have been trying to convince DH to give his brother the benefit of the doubt on the things he's complaining about. (Weird because his brother and I aren't close and he annoys me.)

Meanwhile my mom's house is... still not on the market. My sister keeps wanting to sell everything. Which is great, but if she hasn't been able to sell these things yet, they're not going to sell. Meanwhile between mortgage, insurance, utilities, etc, we've paid close to $6k. That house needs to be listed, because it's roughly $2k a month until it's sold.

ANNNNNND.. older sister keeps asking us to investigate stuff like if mom being on statins is what caused her dementia.. #1 she can google it or go to the doctor and ask directly #2 google says no. #3 even if it did, it's too late now. #4 what is the point? And the bitch in me chose to respond with articles linking smoking to dementia (the woman was a pack a day smoker but now vapes and the thing has been surgically attached to her hand). And for good measure, I threw in a couple of articles that just say to eat healthy, exercise, don't smoke, and limit alcohol consumption to under 1-14 units a week.

Oldest sister keeps doing shit like this though that makes everyone else's life harder. "I asked mom if she wanted us to bring her the antique clock to the memory care facility - she really loved that thing! She would like it, can you bring it?" Mom has never asked for the clock. Middle sister started getting frustrated about how to get the stupid clock to her. I'm trying to coach her on what to say in scenarios like this so she doesn't get overburdened with stupid requests... "If you think it's a good idea and she'd benefit, the clock is in the garage. You'll need to buy the necessary supplies to mount it safely when you take it to her and install it. It also needs to be wound daily - will you be reminding her to wind it or stopping by?" It's endless stupid stuff like this.

[rere]

Dd is in high gear to come home this weekend. She forgot that she needs me to take her to get all the things for her mission trip. I'm freaking out a bit about her going, I'm sure it will be fine, but out of the country, or truthfully in the country these days makes me nervous. I wanted to take my kids out of the country for the first time, but Covid tanked those plans. And now it's hard to plan around schedules.

[waverly]

k3am , your post is kind of how DH and I have been feeling about our older sisters. We are really trying hard to support them, but we don't agree with all their decisions. I think this is part of the reason aunt got frustrated with my sister (overcommunication). Clock analogy is perfect for what sister was doing.

Also, we keep getting lectured but no one is lecturing them. For example, I was lectured for sending 2 text messages at the wrong time. Text messages were somewhat innocuous but I admit timing was off. However, my sister called me in the middle of 5 lanes of traffic to tell me my uncle died. She knew I was driving. No one lectured her on her timing because we are mature adults who don't lecture people.

[waverly]

supertrooper1 , my body really doesn't like daily especially high dose medication. I'm allergic to 3 medications now.

Congrats xctsclrx!

[186momx]

k3am, waverly, your families are being extra special these days. Giant hugs and try drinking a whole glass of water and a few deep breathes before responding to them. I'm trying to do this as my mom and sister are being extra right now.

xctsclrx, congratulations!

My uncle made is safely here. He looked exhausted and we had a good dinner last night. He is hanging with DD today and they are making his favorite peanut butter cookies.

Work is crazy and I have a headache that just won't go away. I know it is stress/hormonal related and I just need to try and meditate when I escape to the bathroom.

[mommyatty]

After good conversations with the public school about DS, we enrolled him today. The diagnostician had assured me we could get a 504 in place before he started. Just called the school to get that rolling, and they were like “just bring him in and we will get to the 504 eventually.” So I very carefully said, “I am not dropping an autistic child with ADHD into your school with no supports in place. That’s not fair to him or to the teacher.” So, this is just fucking awesome.

Would they ask me to send my kid in a wheelchair to a school with no ramps and without an appropriate bathroom stall?

[sdlaura]

mommyatty does he require an aide or is it more an issue of making sure everyone is on the same page about his diagnosis and what he needs?

[mommyatty]

Feb 29, 2024 17:05:02 GMT -5 sdlaura said:

mommyatty does he require an aide or is it more an issue of making sure everyone is on the same page about his diagnosis and what he needs?

It’s really easy stuff. Making sure he has a buddy to make him feel welcome. A chance to meet his teacher before we throw him into a classroom. Knowledge that he’s likely to be very overwhelmed, sad, and scared the first couple of weeks so he needs to know how to ask for help. The opportunity to take regular breaks as he needs them if he’s overwhelmed. Limiting how much writing he has to do and allowing him to only work to mastery instead of drill and kill.

[sdlaura]

mommyatty, great, sounds like things they should be able to implement quickly!

My DS1’s 4th grade teacher is phenomenal and would do al these things just on her own or with a single email request from a parent, but I’m sure not all teachers are like that, so good to make his needs known.

[waverly]

Hmm so I looked into timelines for 504 and apparently they are not set legally like an IEP is. IEP has 60 days to test a student after written request. And then has certain time periods to tell parents and have the meeting.

I would ask what teacher he is assigned to and see if you can set up a meeting to come afterschool to see the classroom before he starts and meet the teacher. You can express concerns directly to the teacher in the meeting or via email.

[erbear]

mommyatty — I’d try to get an IEP in place (rather than a 504). It will save you a lot of trouble down the road

[mommyatty]

erbear- we already did the request that he be tested/evaluated for an IEP. But we’ve been warned before that he may not qualify because even without any special ed services, he stays on grade level. His IQ makes up for his other issues. But he definitely qualifies as disabled under 504. In any event, we want both if he qualifies! Just the 504 is supposed to be quicker to implement.

They said they would stick with the learning plan from his old school for the first 30 days. Unfortunately that one didn’t include “work to mastery”. So that might be an issue.

[campermom]

Congratulations xctsclrx!

[dglvrk2]

Funny update. Perhaps I'm overindulging myself since I've been confined to my house for three days due to a crazy blizzard. (We are all good, power on etc. Our roads are just so snowy that it's unsafe to drive anywhere in my community.) And I'm board

So H and I have quite different travelling styles. He loves maximizing his time anywhere. I appreciate a day at home on either end of a big trip. He usually books airline tickets because he has like 2,000,000 frequent flyer miles and I have four miles to my name. This has gotten us into some trouble because he'll book us leaving on vacation before my work day ends on our departure date and getting back late the night before I need to return to work. Over and over, I've communicated my preferences/borderline needs: more time between work and vacation. A few times he's booked tickets to maximize our time somewhere before consulting with me. NOT COOL. Other times, he has consulted with me, explained his reasoning for his maximizing and we've compromised. Ok.

Today, I think H had a break through moment, moving him up another level as dglvrk2's spouse. He received an email notice that he could switch itineraries for our upcoming trip to Mexico in order to get us all (us and our two Ds) upgraded to first class  for no additional miles. After receiving such notice, he found me, sat down face-to-face with me and shared this:

H: I could upgrade us all to first class if we took an earlier flight to Puerto Vallarta the day we leave.

Me: How early?

H: 5:10 am instead of 10:43 am.

Me (not sounding bad yet, because I would have a day between work and this flight.) Ok

H: And, we'd have to take a 7:30 pm flight out of PV, that arrives in (airport) at 9:45 our time. Then we'd have to get home.

Me: So we arrive at 9:45, go through customs, pick up the dog and drive home. The drive home is four hours. We'd get home at 3:00 am at the earliest. Then I work the next morning?

H: yah.....we're not doing this.

Me: That's right.

I'm so proud of my husband!! Not only did he elicit my thoughts, but he realized how insane I thought this was as soon as I said it.

Now if he could pick up beer bottle caps and candy wrappers, we'd be making SERIOUS progress!!!

[waverly]

dglvrk2, We used to do a red eye and then come into work. I only got 2 weeks vacation at that job. Anyway, after a few years of doing that, and also DH traveling for work, we don't even consider those weird flight schedules. Sleep is the most important, and sometimes that can be hard when traveling, but we only choose it if that were the only option.

[dglvrk2]

waverly, I was much more flexible about travel when H and I were only dating. As I got further into my career and we had children, maximizing time at a vacation destination became way more challenging....for me. He can still pull himself together on no sleep and in dirty clothes. I have always had much more public facing jobs, so it's more obvious when I'm dysregulated. I also really stress when our kids are not rested before they go to school, so....

[sdlaura]

I tend to be the one trying to maximize vacations and DH needs to take things slower. So now I try to pick good flight times and try not to move locations more than once every 3 nights. I won’t do red eyes to the east coast unless it’s an emergency - it’s just not enough time to get any sleep.

Now that I can WFH when I’d like within reason, I don’t mind getting back from a trip Sunday night, because I can send the kids to school/daycare while I regroup on Monday between meetings. But like 8 pm, not 3 am