How did you know when to potty train?

[wanderingback]

Update at the end of replies


I’m mostly wondering about casual ways to potty train. I’ve mostly seen a lot of people recommend the 3 day method so wondering what others did in a more casual way and when?

My daughter is a little over 15 months, so still young. But she is talking, recognizes some colors and the alphabet, can tell us her needs sometimes (2 word phrases like "more cheese" or "get down") and she tells us when she is pooping. She hasn’t tried to take off her diaper but has grabbed at it. I think she’s just very observant (always always looking around and paying attention), so she picks up things quickly. But of course she’s still a baby.

So anyway, I’m in no rush to potty train/fully get her out of diapers but wondering if anyone has suggestions or slowly introduced potty training to their young ones? When we’re in the bathroom she’ll often lift up the toilet seat, so I sat her on it the other day for the first time and just said this is where we pee and poop. She said "ohhh" in her cute little voice lol. And then I took her off.

Should I get her her own little toilet? Just occasionally put her on the big toilet? Not do anything and just wait until she’s older and actually at the age to potty train/do the 3 day method? I was thinking slow introduction might make it easier later in the next year, but maybe not?

[penguingrrl]

It sounds like she might have an early interest, no harm in getting a little toilet she can use independently and having it in your bathroom. Tell her that it’s there, show her and let her know she can use it and see how it goes. None of my kids were ready early, but I’ve known others who were and it worked. I have found that sometimes kids have a window of interest in something and if you catch them in it it can go really easily. And getting the idea in her head is never negative IMO, even if she doesn’t actually train earlier than average.

[Susie]

My DD started asking to sit on the potty around 18-19m, right after she joined a classroom of 18-36 months, and saw her peers doing it.  She was interested but wasn't really ready yet, as in understanding the sensations and what they mean.  It took a year, until she was 2.5, for her to potty train.  When she was ready, she did it in a weekend, but the intervening year was a blur of reading stories on the potty, accidents, pull ups, lather rinse repeat.  I wouldn't say I regret following her interest, but it wasn't an approach I wanted to try again the 2nd time.

...Which was just as well, because DS was her polar opposite.  No interest whatsoever.  At about 3y10m, his daycare teacher suggested we send him in undies and that he would work with him on it, because he knew his 3 yo classroom was much better set up for PTing than the 3/4 class downstairs that DS would be moving to a few months later.  We sent undies and M&Ms, and good luck to all involved.  Mr. Jared had DS trained in like 3 days, both pee and poop, start to finish.  There were maybe 2 pee accidents.  I can't explain the magic of Mr. Jared, I can only express gratitude and admiration.

ETA:  We did not do a separate kid potty.  I didn't want to find space for it or clean it out.  Instead we got a stool and installed a toilet seat with a child seat built in, like this:  

www.build.com/product/summary/1888431?uid=4466351&jmtest=gg-gbav2_4466351&inv2=1&&source=gg-gba-pla_4466351!c11768442376!a115745657673!dc!ng&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA84CvBhCaARIsAMkAvkIBPka7q9n50TGgtS7pg0BhAk--QcaWSCgVFv0gCwd0I_jYBmuSpS0aAt5yEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

[maudefindlay]

I started putting mine on a training potty when they got up in the AM and then after every meal/snack and had them sit there a minute or two. Eventually started putting them on the potty every 2 to 3 hours and really celebrated any time they asked to go to the potty. We did switch to pull ups around that time which made it easier as the kids could pull down/up on their own and they could get on the little potty on their own.

[rhian]

My son started doing similar things (telling us when he was pooping, pulling at his pants, liking coming to the bathroom with us when we go) around 18 months, so we got a little potty around then. Similar to Susie's kid, it was just after he joined his current classroom of 18m-3y at daycare, where they take all kids into the bathroom together while the kids who are potty trained/training go. They offer all of the other kids the option to sit on the potty at the same time, our son had mostly preferred to play with the sinks instead lol, but he does see kids going to the potty everyday.

He just turned 2 and he's gradually shown more interest in sitting on the potty both at home and at daycare, has sometimes started to tell us when he needs to poop vs. when he is already pooping (though inconsistently, we think he sometimes tells us he needs to poop when he actually needs to fart lol), and is starting to like to pull down his pants himself. We talk about how pee and poop goes in the potty, and he knows that now. But we're not trying to rush anything, especially since I'm due with our second in a few months - we actually think he might do better potty training after the baby arrives.

We're going with the gradual exposure route, tbd if that actually helps, but we figure it can't hurt! I'd probably get whatever you were planning to get now, whether that's a separate little potty or a seat on the regular one, since you'll need it anyway.

[sdlaura]

I have four kids, and we are not early potty trainers, even when the kids have shown interest early. My kids weren’t completely ready till closer to age 3. Then when we did potty train, it didn’t take very long. My daughter was the quickest and earliest of my four kids to potty train, around 2.5. We’ve never used a little potty - I didn’t want to clean one. We got a flip down smaller seat attachment for our toilet instead and had a stool in front of it.

[mrsGreeko]

My oldest generally preferred to poop in the potty starting between 15 and 18 months old. It’s been a long time so I can’t remember the specifics. She was incredibly verbal and my DH was deployed so it was just me and her at home so I had lots of time. Anyway, I also would put her on the potty before bath time every time and she would usually go then. Then lots of praise and all that when she went. I would occasionally let her wear underwear for an hour or two here and there when we were hanging at home. I should also mention that I switched her to cloth diapers at 15 months so that might have been a part of some of this.

At 20 months she decided she was done with diapers. So we tried it for 2 or 3 days. Then she decided to go back to diapers. So we did.

At 22 months she again was done with diapers and that time I decided we’d just go with it and be done completely. She was even hospitalized for 5 days about 2 weeks after that for breathing issues and she only had one accident at the hospital when she was asleep and not wearing a diaper (she wore diapers for naps for a few months and diapers for night for a few years).

DH came home from deployment to a potty trained toddler after leaving a very young toddler. It was wild.

ETA: my second we did something a little different. She trained at 26 months. My third we did the 3 day method and that was by far the easiest way. He trained at 23 months.

[ssmjlm]

Mine showed an interest, but we didn't push it. We had a little potty that she maybe used a handful of times.

Once we switched to the 2yo room and went to pull ups, she became more interested because peers were going in the bathroom at daycare.

We did it over Christmas break. She had 1 accident and then was trained after. I'm glad we sort of let her completely lead.

[joy]

My only advice is to follow her lead. If she’s interested then go with it! If she stops being interested, then go with that, too.

My daughter showed all the signs of being ready young except for the actual doing it part. We tried to do the no diaper, sit on the potty every 15 min, 3 day method thing. Yeah, she was terrified and ended up just refusing to pee for > 18 hours. We ended up at the pediatrician because we all worried she gave herself a UTI.

We tried again months later and it went much better. She was fully ready to participate then.

[noodleoo]

I don't remember my kids showing any interest that young. DD1 used to go hide when she was pooping in her diaper, but that was closer to 2. I'd suggest reading the book Oh Crap since they talk about training earlier. We did the 3 day method with DD1 at the end of the age they recommend (2.75 years) and it worked, but it was a commitment (she got peeing in 2 days, but poop took 3 weeks and those were *stressful* weeks). We tried with DD2 at the same age and she was NOT into it, so we tried again at 3.25 and that worked.

[mrsGreeko]

After potty training 3 kids I will say the most difficult way is to set a timer and have them sit on the potty at intervals. That will lead to power struggles that aren’t worth it at all. The official three day method does not do this, you watch when they start to go and run them to the bathroom and anything that gets in the potty gets a big cheer and reward. That teaches them to learn their body signs. It’s similar to how you potty train a puppy.

[thebreakfastclub]

I was unemployed so I had free time. My son was almost 2.5yo. The book I read suggested that was a good time.

I 100% pushed him into it and it worked great!

[janegold]

My daughter had early interest but we waited to push it until she was a bit older, around 2.75. Both my kids PT'd pretty easily at that age.

[nicolewi]

It's funny, this is one of those things that is SUCH A BIG DEAL at the time and you think you'll totally remember it, but honestly I barely remember how we potty trained our kids now that they are ages 9 and up! Seriously.

I was never in a rush as they are all 2 years apart, and it was sometimes easier to just have diapers for a bit until they were REALLY ready. So i don't remember the ages, but I would guess all were between 2 and 2.5. I think they say average is 27 months and I think I kind of went with wanting to be near there.

I don't remember it being a much of an issue with my older daughter or son. I think they were maybe just short of 2.5 or so? Maybe around 2.5? and it just seemed to go smoothly. I know we had a potty prize chart for my son where he got little prizes each day and then a bigger prize when he was clean and dry for five days. My 3rd one was the only real challenge. She did NOT want to go on the potty and especially didn't want to poop on the potty. We tried the "3 day" type thing with her and she peed on the floor several times. She liked the potty princess book with a paper tiara and stickers--that was the only motivator but it still wasn't enough. I still think what worked was my oldest (maybe 6 at the time??) telling her that we were going to Florida and DD3 could NOT wear her stinky wet diapers and have to wear swim diapers and get sand all in them and it was gross and she needed to wear big girl underpants!!! After that it was like she just decided she wanted to do it. I don't even REMEMBER my youngest doing this at all!!! I think it was no big deal. Read lots of potty books/potty stories. Had the little potty around and praised her a lot whenever she used it; tried to have her sit on it loosely at whatever time interval they recommend.

We still did Pull-Ups at night, and on long car trips, for a bit longer and encouraged them to keep them clean and dry. Until they were reliably dry overnight I was just not going to deal with it. That was fine; none of mine had problems at night and mostly they were out of the Pull-ups in not too long.

I got all of them cool character underpants that they really liked and made them seem really special (i.e. princesses, etc).

[wanderingback]

Feb 29, 2024 12:03:47 GMT -5 nicolewi said:

It's funny, this is one of those things that is SUCH A BIG DEAL at the time and you think you'll totally remember it, but honestly I barely remember how we potty trained our kids now that they are ages 9 and up! Seriously.

Ha. I guess I should’ve clarified! I don’t think this is a big deal, was just curious what worked for other people in regards to the 3 day method vs slower introduction or something in between. Mostly to see if I should consider doing something now that might make the transition easier. I honestly don’t even remember when her actual first steps were or first word was other than dada. So I am confident I also won’t remember details about potty training haha and I’m not worried or stressed about it, moreso just curious about different approaches.

[waverly]

I was traumatized by potty training my son. My nephews were 4 and 4.5 respectivey when they finished. They started around age 3. So I thought I need to start sooner because at 3 they were resisting my sister. So I started at 2.5 years old and he was potty trained at 3 and some months. Between 2.5 and 3, he still had daily pee accidents, and then 3 times a week, then 2 times a week, then weekly. Then every other week. You know what I mean. So many accidents, and he never held his penis down and pee went everywhere (I had to hold it down).  Awful!  

DD wanted to potty train at 18 months in the toddler room. Since I was traumatized I put it off. I used to get her dressed, new diaper and then she would have her first morning pee and soak the whole thing so I would have to do another new diaper and outfit since it was so much pee (cloth diapers). So then I started setting her on the potty in the morning so I didn't have to re do everything. She potty trained herself at 24 months and barely had an accidents. It was great and the polar opposite of her brother.

Long story short, it's totally kid dependent. But I would start with putting her on the potty and trying to catch the first morning pee if possible if you think the mind/ body connection is there.

[rhian]

Feb 29, 2024 12:10:30 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Feb 29, 2024 12:03:47 GMT -5 nicolewi said:

It's funny, this is one of those things that is SUCH A BIG DEAL at the time and you think you'll totally remember it, but honestly I barely remember how we potty trained our kids now that they are ages 9 and up! Seriously.

Ha. I guess I should’ve clarified! I don’t think this is a big deal, was just curious what worked for other people in regards to the 3 day method vs slower introduction or something in between. Mostly to see if I should consider doing something now that might make the transition easier. I honestly don’t even remember when her actual first steps were or first word was other than dada. So I am confident I also won’t remember details about potty training haha and I’m not worried or stressed about it, moreso just curious about different approaches.

We sort of decided to do gradual exposure since that's what daycare does. We figured that they know a lot about early childhood development, and if that's what they do, we'll follow their lead! And since he wants to come into the bathroom with us anyway, it's really natural to have him sit on his potty too, and just talk about what we're doing in there lol

[shauni27]

around that age someone gave us a little potty that S became fascinated with. He would sit on it fully clothed and then pretend to flush it and just played with it and talked about it. We also had one of the toilet things that Susie mentioned and much preferred that. We just used the potty as a toy**

We would sit him on the toilet at bath time around then as well, just for the experience and to get him familiar. Sometimes he would pee, sometimes he wouldn't. no big deal.

At 2.5 exactly (I happen to have it on video, lol) he announced he wanted to use the potty, took off his diaper, and never looked back. I think we had a few days of reminding him and rewarding him, but he was very easy, no accidents that I recall. It took a couple of days and that was it.

**as for the little training potty we were given, this is my best parenting advice--even if you do not use one in your home (we did not), get one and keep it in your car, or if you do not have a car, for vacations or trips to the beach, etc. It was a life saver for many years when we were on the road. We would be at the beach for example, or driving a long distance and we could just go to the back of the car (subaru outback) and let him poop in the potty there instead of rushing to find a bathroom. I also HIGHLY suggest keeping it lined with a plastic grocery bag so after you wipe you just throw it all in the plastic bag and tie it up. No potty to clean after!**

[thebreakfastclub]

I had a kids potty for my house, as well as the cheap IKEA one for the car.

At home, I gave my son a cup of Sprite at 7am which guaranteed he'd be full of liquids. We played in the living room with no pants or diaper on, and the potty was nearby on a towel.

60 minutes later, he had to pee, I scooped him up and put him on the potty and he went. I made a big deal about it and he was on board from then on. My son backslid a bit at daycare at first, mostly from waiting too long.

He was always a good nighttime pee holder, so he was 100% out of diapers by age 3.

[sdlaura]

In terms of overnight, we use nighttime pull ups until our kids are dry every night in them. For my two older kids, that was around age 4, or a year or so after they were daytime potty trained. 6-year-old DS3, who has been advanced on most measures developmentally (like he walked at 9 months, which I absolutely did not need for my third kid!) is still in a night pull up. He’s a really deep sleeper. I figure I’ll wait to see if he stops needing it on his own, and if not I may make some effort to get rid of it this time next year, so he can go to sleepaway camp the summer when he’s 8.

[starburst604]

I read the Oh Crap book and followed that 3 day method over a long weekend. I think she was 2 and 9 months? We had a little potty hanging around for a year or so and she'd sometimes sit on it but never actually went. We chose that weekend for the timing and feeling like she was ready to listen. Talking up being a "Big Girl" was a big motivator for her too. Fortunately she took to it quickly and after that weekend never even had an accident I don't think. She wore pull ups to bed for maybe another 6 months and then decided she didn't like them and she stayed dry overnight from then on.

[lo]

Starting around 14ish months my daughter liked playing with the little potty we bought at IKEA. Every time I changed her diaper she would try and sit on it and eventually she would pee almost every time. She also attended a Montessori daycare and I learned they believed in early potty training, so she was easily trained at 17/18 months with hardly any accidents. I followed the same routine with my other 3 girls and had the same results. I think it’s easier to train before they get super stubborn. One of my twins is 4 and still wears a pull up to bed, but my other kids were done with pull ups at night by 2 and 3.

[melmaria]

Neither of my DDs showed independent interest, but I potty trained both of them at 27 months using the 3-day/Oh Crap method.

Both of them were fully potty trained for pee by the end of the third day - Oh Crap really did work magically for us in that respect. Poop was different - DD1 held her poop for her naptime or bedtime diaper for MONTHS, and that was frustrating, whereas DD2 pooped in the potty on day 2 of training and never looked back. But DD2 is an easier kid generally.

We had little potties that we started with. I think you’d really want one if you’re doing the 3-day method - the whole point is to watch them like a hawk the first day (while they’re naked) and immediately pick them up and plop them on a potty when they start to go. But we didn’t use them for long and after a couple of weeks moved to a seat insert on the regular potty.

[thoseareradishes]

We started having her sit on the potty before bath around 18 months. We also switched from diapers to pull ups, just for ease of use. I changed her in the bathroom standing up and pull ups were easier (I wanted to demonstrate that bathroom stuff gets done in the bathroom, instead of changing her on the living room floor). She was allowed in the bathroom with me when I went so she knew what all went on during a potty trip. She officially potty trained around 31 months old.

[jorja]

Feb 29, 2024 9:57:29 GMT -5 sdlaura said:

I have four kids, and we are not early potty trainers, even when the kids have shown interest early. My kids weren’t completely ready till closer to age 3. Then when we did potty train, it didn’t take very long. My daughter was the quickest and earliest of my four kids to potty train, around 2.5. We’ve never used a little potty - I didn’t want to clean one. We got a flip down smaller seat attachment for our toilet instead and had a stool in front of it.

Same! My youngest daughter started to show some very clear signs when I was like…8.5 months pregnant with my fourth and I was like nooooope, not today, sister.

She did just fine about six months later, right around 3.

[sdlaura]

jorja, yep, we would have potty trained my fourth right at 3, but we had two big trips including flights in the following 6 weeks. So we waited to make life easier for ourselves. We potty trained him the weekend we got back from the second trip and he was solidly accident free when he started preschool a month later. So I’m obviously team ‘potty train when it’s most convenient for your family vs based on only kid interest.’

Whenever someone tells me ‘I just want to have my kid potty trained by the time the new baby arrives’ - I tell them it’s way easier to deal with a toddler in diapers when you have a newborn vs a kid who needs to be run to the potty the second you settle in to nurse or nearly get a newborn to sleep.

[al dente]

If you have a unicorn kid a casual approach may work, but if you go to potty training I would go all in. Not do diapers sometimes and sometimes undies (with the exception of sleep).

My first showed basically no signs, but started taking her diaper off everytime I took my eyes off her. I had picked up a little potty on a whim, so I put it in the room and explained if she had to pee to go pee on it. She peed on the floor like twice and after that never had a pee accident again. (Poop is a whole different thing though that took some work).

With my second I tried PTing at 17mo, 22mo, and then it finally worked at 26mo when I buckled down and did the 3 day method. My first two times I was hoping she was a unicorn like my oldest and my casual leave the potty out method would work. It did not there was just pee everywhere for the day until I gave up lol. She showed a lot more interest and signs then my first ever did but all that did not lead to actually using the bathroom properly.

[Jalapeñomel]

So my daughter has been like this for about 6 months, but she doesn't quite have the biological sensation of peeing yet. So she will tell us she has to use the potty, but only after she has gone. Until she makes that biological connection, we know she won't train. But as soon as she makes the connection, we anticipate her training immediately.

Daycare puts her on the potty at least 4 times a day, sometimes she goes, sometimes she doesn't.  We don't push her at home. 

[brooke77]

I would recommend reading Oh Crap. It worked well for us. It basically explains a non-casual approach, but a preparation and then full switch. We PT’d DS using that method at 25 months, but he was probably ready around 22 months.

The author is an advocate of “early” PTing based on other cultures. I think she says 12 - 24 months is ideal? She explains the readiness cues. Then explains a 3 step approach, which is being naked all day and trying to make it to the potty. Step two adding pants (no undies) and step three adding undies. It’s not necessarily 3 days. In her approach, once diapers are gone, they are gone, so as not to confuse the kid.

The downside for us was daycare. Daycare didn’t PT in his toddler class, so we struggled with them offering bathroom breaks.

[momof2]

I took a totally casual approach to this, because other things in life were much more serious. My younger kid got diagnosed with brain cancer at 20 months and was in treatment until she turned 4. I definitely wasn’t dealing with potty training for much of this.

I think around 3.5, we started doing a little of it. But, she still wore pull-ups when we left the house or she had chemo all day. I wasn’t going to try to run her to the bathroom while she was attached to an IV. I am pretty sure she told me during those chemo days when she needed to go and I took her. But I wasn’t panicking about an accident when it took time to navigate to the rest room because she was wearing a pull up. Same for when she was sedated for what felt like a million MRIs. It just wasn’t a big deal and it got done without me adding “clean up urine and poop” accidents to my to do list for this particular kid.

That said, my older kid has a genetic disorder and will never potty train. I am still dealing with “clean up urine and poop accidents” all the time with a teenager. So, part of my laissez faire attitude may be because I have an entirely different situation than most people.