Post by minniemouse on Mar 10, 2024 20:38:56 GMT -5
We drop off. The only practice I used to stay for was ice skating , and that was only because they had a rule that you had to stay with any kids under 13. Dd was very happy when we could start dropping her off. lol.
Post by mccallister84 on Mar 10, 2024 21:10:10 GMT -5
My kids are 5 and 7 but at this point I guess how I feel depend on how the coaching staff is - if it’s volunteer, I feel like they should be able to focus on just coaching and not have to manage things like making sure a kid makes it to the porta potty and back. I do like the idea of an assigned volunteer non parent coach at practice. That’s how they do it for our PTA run play - parents take volunteers shifts to supervise and troubleshoot so that way the directors and choreographers (all volunteers) can continue working with the students. For example, one day when I was volunteering a student had a bloody nose so I handled it instead of them having to stop rehearsal.
Post by hbomdiggity on Mar 10, 2024 23:26:19 GMT -5
My kid is in more competitive sports. Starting around 7, coaches made it clear that practices were drop off. In some circumstances, if space allowed, parents could stay and watch but they were not to be involved.
My kids are a little older (14 - 8th grade and 11 - 5th grade). When they were younger, I was often coaching their teams, so I would stay. With DD2, I continued to stay at club soccer practice for a couple of reasons - one practice facility was over 30 mins away with no stores nearby, so there was nothing to do but stay there, and also because with her ADHD, a 75 minute practice was a lot and she'd start to get goofy at around the 60 minute mark, so I'd need to be there to give her the mom eye and redirect her. But I wouldn't necessarily watch the whole practice. I'd walk, or bring my laptop and work inside the indoor soccer facility.
Now I will stay sometimes, but it's because I'll walk the track while practice is going on. It's not necessarily to watch her practice, but more because it's the only way I can carve out time to move some days. She's practicing tonight and I'll stay to walk. But most days when she has a 345pm practice I'll be scrambling to get DD1 wherever she needs to go.
Also, both kids play sports on their school teams. I have never attended a school team practice.
I never stayed at basketball practices for either kid or softball for DD1 unless I was coaching. I do my level best to attend every single game that they play, though. We often have to divide and conquer in the winter and spring, but someone is always at a game.
DS is 6 and I typically stay for practice. It’s 60 minutes and about a 15/20 minute drive. There are a lot of practices going on at the same field. There aren’t seats for parents.
Most of his practices are the same sort of set up. I stay at the field and use the time to get my own exercise - usually I’ll walk laps and chat on the phone or listen to a podcast. I check in with DS, but don’t bring a chair and watch.
V is in 5th grade and did basketball this fall. We had a mini-carpool with a friend. I would stay on the days I drove -- it was about 15 minutes away by car so didn't make sense to drive home for half an hour. Sometimes I watched, sometimes I tried to get some work done on my laptop. The other parents in the carpool did a mix of staying and going for a run. I think for all the other parents it was 50-50 whether or not they stayed for practice if they drove (there were some other carpools).
Some places here have an explicit "no one other than the kids allowed in the gym" rule to stop helicopter coaching and ... sometimes worse confrontations between staff and relatives/friends.
O is in 1st grade and did ballet. Practice was only 45 minutes long. Almost all parents stayed. She would get on my case if I was on my phone or laptop instead of watching.
Post by ellipses84 on Mar 11, 2024 14:53:57 GMT -5
We stay most of the time, but with 2 kids there are times we leave the older one at practice and go pick up the younger one a few minutes away. That probably started at age 11. We also don’t typically go to middle school sports practices since they are on campus right after school and they don’t want parents to be there. He has an Apple Watch to communicate with us if needed. When I’m there, I don’t just sit and watch, I usually walk around the track or park to get exercise and watch as I walk by. I prefer to be close by in case one of my kids gets injured. This week we are completely overbooked with kids sports at different locations and DH is talking about leaving our almost 8 year old for about half an hour while he picks up his brother.
Most of our activities do not require parents to stay after preschool age. Many of them are far enough from her house that it’s not always worth going home. I stay if it works out logistically, or I run errands during the practice and come back. Sometimes I just sit there doing stuff on my phone. Most of these are indoor activities, FYI.
Our Dance studio says under 6 parents must stay. So for my one son who likes dance, I stay. But those classes are only a half hour, so no where I could go anyway during that time. My daughter is 7 and on nights that she is only there an hour I stay. The days/nights she's there for 1.5-3+ hours, I drop off. Exception is competition days where I have to stay.
Post by aprilsails on Mar 11, 2024 20:44:00 GMT -5
A parent has to stay at the arena until she is 10. Which was fine this year when there was only one hour a week but next year she is likely going to have two or maybe more.
I love watching her skate (I grew up at the arena myself) and I sit there and knit or do hand sewing. I really enjoy the forced hour off duty.
V is in 5th grade and did basketball this fall. We had a mini-carpool with a friend. I would stay on the days I drove -- it was about 15 minutes away by car so didn't make sense to drive home for half an hour. Sometimes I watched, sometimes I tried to get some work done on my laptop. The other parents in the carpool did a mix of staying and going for a run. I think for all the other parents it was 50-50 whether or not they stayed for practice if they drove (there were some other carpools).
Some places here have an explicit "no one other than the kids allowed in the gym" rule to stop helicopter coaching and ... sometimes worse confrontations between staff and relatives/friends.
O is in 1st grade and did ballet. Practice was only 45 minutes long. Almost all parents stayed. She would get on my case if I was on my phone or laptop instead of watching.
I feel weird about “no parents at practice” rules given all of the abuse that happens in youth sports.
During the pandemic our kid had swimming lessons at the same time as a local swim team practice. The swim team kids were maybe 12-13? Parents weren’t allowed at team practice, but we were allowed to watch our kid’s swim lesson. There was so much verbal abuse (swearing, calling the girls “slow and fat”, use of the r-word) from the team coach towards the young swimmers, we alerted some of the parents in the parking lot and called the team office the next day. Sadly it didn’t improve.
I completely agree with “you can stay, but don’t interfere with practice”, but it really rubs the wrong way when parents are specifically prohibited from staying.
My DD's track & XC teams require that 2nd graders' parents stay. DD is 3rd grade this year, and I feel ready to drop off, although I might use the time to just get my own run in. That's the best use of ~an hour that I can think of.
We started dropping Kid #1 off in..second grade I think? Soccer practices are closer to 90 minutes so if my husband is off work I might leave Kid #2 home with him and go for a run or read articles if I've got a presentation coming up at work (which thankfully isn't often), otherwise I'll go back home and feed #2 dinner. The rec basketball and baseball practices are more like an hourish so I might take kid #2 to get a cake pop or play on the playground. There's no rules on staying/not staying but soccer specifically says parents need to stay out of the way and let coaches do their jobs...it's club soccer so some parents can be ridiculous.
V is in 5th grade and did basketball this fall. We had a mini-carpool with a friend. I would stay on the days I drove -- it was about 15 minutes away by car so didn't make sense to drive home for half an hour. Sometimes I watched, sometimes I tried to get some work done on my laptop. The other parents in the carpool did a mix of staying and going for a run. I think for all the other parents it was 50-50 whether or not they stayed for practice if they drove (there were some other carpools).
Some places here have an explicit "no one other than the kids allowed in the gym" rule to stop helicopter coaching and ... sometimes worse confrontations between staff and relatives/friends.
O is in 1st grade and did ballet. Practice was only 45 minutes long. Almost all parents stayed. She would get on my case if I was on my phone or laptop instead of watching.
I feel weird about “no parents at practice” rules given all of the abuse that happens in youth sports.
During the pandemic our kid had swimming lessons at the same time as a local swim team practice. The swim team kids were maybe 12-13? Parents weren’t allowed at team practice, but we were allowed to watch our kid’s swim lesson. There was so much verbal abuse (swearing, calling the girls “slow and fat”, use of the r-word) from the team coach towards the young swimmers, we alerted some of the parents in the parking lot and called the team office the next day. Sadly it didn’t improve.
I completely agree with “you can stay, but don’t interfere with practice”, but it really rubs the wrong way when parents are specifically prohibited from staying.
The rule is much stricter, it's "only participants may attend practice". No nannies, siblings, etc. They have similar rules for general afterschool programs -- you have to wait outside to pick up your kid.
The program is run by the Boys & Girls Club. Locally, this is the aftercare program of last resort. The rule is county-wide and was put in place after actual violent confrontations between staff and other adults. Last school year there was a shooting in a Club parking lot. The program is their to serve *kids* but they are trying to stop adult misbehavior without having to call the cops.
The coaches are all parent volunteers and have to go through an in-person positive & safe coaching training. I've been pretty happy with the coaching so far.
Around that age is when we started doing car pools for soccer practices. A friend's mom would pick me up and drop us both off, and then my mom would pick us up at the end of practice, so neither of us had parents watching. I don't remember other parents staying either - which I could be misremembering, but at the very least, I didn't feel weird that my parents weren't there (and as one of few kids of color and a child of immigrants, I was quite sensitive to feeling different, so I would likely have noticed if my parents were one of the few not there!)
Has she articulated a reason why she wants you to stay? The idea of the entire family staying for the entire 75 minute practice seems like a lot. I like the suggestion of compromising on every other practice, or maybe you stay for the first 20 minutes or something.
I just heard from DS's baseball coach that practice will be 1.5 hours 3 days a week, so yeah I'm for sure not staying. DS didn't seem real pleased when I told him this, but he is always the type that is fine as soon as you leave him. I told him "parents don't really stay anymore once you turn 7" so hopefully he buys that, and too many other parents don't choose to stay, haha.
Post by pinkdutchtulips on Mar 12, 2024 17:40:25 GMT -5
I did but that was only bc practices were a good 20-30 minutes away from home and it made little sense to leave and come back. Instead, I'd watch and meal plan or make shopping lists.
J on the other hand (the bonus kiddo is 12), not only stays for practice (baseball) but helps with drills at practices too.
DD 12 is a competitive gymnast and no I do not stay for her 3+ hour practices multiple times a week. I will stop in and socialize with other parents at pick up and watch the last 15 minutes of stretching. I also will come in and watch if DD asks me to watch a certain event and then she will give me the time they are on that event.
DD's biggest complaint is when team kids parents/grandma's stay the whole practice but hold their kids water, chat with them between events, help them in the bathroom, or with tissues, etc. These girls are all 9+ year old girls who don't need mommy to help them the whole time. She says it is annoying and distracting and that it always makes her feel self-conscious. A couple of the grandma's video granddaughters on a daily basis also which is probably adding to DD feeling like she is always being watched. This is 100% a DD problem/issue. DD could care less if the rec parents stay and watch the hour-long classes.
I feel weird about “no parents at practice” rules given all of the abuse that happens in youth sports.
During the pandemic our kid had swimming lessons at the same time as a local swim team practice. The swim team kids were maybe 12-13? Parents weren’t allowed at team practice, but we were allowed to watch our kid’s swim lesson. There was so much verbal abuse (swearing, calling the girls “slow and fat”, use of the r-word) from the team coach towards the young swimmers, we alerted some of the parents in the parking lot and called the team office the next day. Sadly it didn’t improve.
I completely agree with “you can stay, but don’t interfere with practice”, but it really rubs the wrong way when parents are specifically prohibited from staying.
The rule is much stricter, it's "only participants may attend practice". No nannies, siblings, etc. They have similar rules for general afterschool programs -- you have to wait outside to pick up your kid.
The program is run by the Boys & Girls Club. Locally, this is the aftercare program of last resort. The rule is county-wide and was put in place after actual violent confrontations between staff and other adults. Last school year there was a shooting in a Club parking lot. The program is their to serve *kids* but they are trying to stop adult misbehavior without having to call the cops.
The coaches are all parent volunteers and have to go through an in-person positive & safe coaching training. I've been pretty happy with the coaching so far.
honestly, this was strictly prohibited in the "safe coach" training i've done to coach my kids sports. i'm fine with leaving my kids and whatever people, but explicitly banning all other adults was called out as a red flag.
A couple of the grandma's video granddaughters on a daily basis also which is probably adding to DD feeling like she is always being watched. This is 100% a DD problem/issue. DD could care less if the rec parents stay and watch the hour-long classes.
No, that is not your DD problem. I don’t think grandma’s should be videoing practice, especially for gymnastics. I would not be cool with some random having video of my daughter in a tight leotard.
I'll stay for DD2's practices, because it's a little far from our house. I'll use the opportunity to get in a 45 min nature walk. DH does the same when he goes.
Post by redpenmama on Mar 14, 2024 11:02:37 GMT -5
Not usually. My girls (12 and 7) dance and are there for 2- to 3-hour blocks in a studio, so I'd just be waiting in the lobby, not watching. I usually drop off at my son's (10) soccer practices b/c the fields are 5 minutes from our house. If H takes him, he usually stays because he's friendly with the other dads and they chat.
A couple of the grandma's video granddaughters on a daily basis also which is probably adding to DD feeling like she is always being watched. This is 100% a DD problem/issue. DD could care less if the rec parents stay and watch the hour-long classes.
No, that is not your DD problem. I don’t think grandma’s should be videoing practice, especially for gymnastics. I would not be cool with some random having video of my daughter in a tight leotard.
This is interesting to think about. DS is in competitive gymnastics. I don't often stay (i mean its 12 hours a week!) but when I do, I do occasionally video tape. I focus the video on him, but clearly other kids can be in the background. Have to make his Olympic reel somehow Seriously though I make sure other kids aren't in the video as much as I can, but obviously it is not perfect and from the outside no one knows what I am videotaping, and I don't know what others are videotaping. But I am also not sure that I should not be able to get video of my kid practicing his routine (especially if he likes to review those later to work on certain moves).