Sports question

[noodleoo]

Do you stay to watch your kids at practices for sports? What age did you stop staying the whole time? DD1 is almost 9 and she still wants us all (both H and I) to stay and watch her practices. Trying to figure out if it’s normal or not. About half her friends parents still stay. I feel guilty not wanting to. My parents never stayed for mine and I didn’t really care but the maybe mine we were weird. I always go to the games.

[rooster222]

How many practices does she have every week anf hoe long is the practicd? When my dd was a gymnast we would stay once or twice a month to watch. She was there 5 days/week so we had to get other stuff done. I think it's good to stay once in awhile but not practical every time.

[expectantsteelerfan]

LOL no. With 2 kids who have to be places after school and a spouse who works long hours, I dropped off as soon as they were old enough to be trusted to behave (so like 1st grade ish?) except for some of dd's dance classes that are only 30 min, those I sit in my car and read.

[penguingrrl]

Definitely not. In my area drop off starts by about 1st grade.

[nellgirl]

My daughter just turned 8, and we both stay (and grandpa even comes sometimes). For artistic swimming, I meet her at the pool midway through training, though, because the YMCA sends her directly after school. I meet her whenever I get there after work.
For one sport in particular, the parents are a tight group, too, so it’s social for us

[thebreakfastclub]

It depends, if the practice is an hour and there's nowhere to go, I'll stay and listen to a podcast or take a walk.

[ssmjlm]

I only stay for horseback riding because I like to watch and it’s not really long enough to run an errand and come back.

Dance you can’t stay, the “lobby” is tiny and gymnastics is full of momagers, so nope.

[luckystar2]

Like when she was really little, but I haven’t in ages. A lot of times practices for soccer when she was young weren’t too terribly long so I might have stayed around but I didn’t watch. A lot of times I’d go running while she practiced and maybe watched a little. If weather wasn’t great and I didn’t feel like driving home and back again, I’d read in my car. Sometimes dh and I alternate drop off/pick up so nobody stays. Or before she was on team she did rec gymnastics classes which were short. Our old gym was way too small to watch so again I’d just run during. I’d say by 9 I definitely was not specifically staying and watching. She was on the gymnastics team then and practice was 2.5 hours long so definitely not. But I’d see a little bit at pickup. Alternatively, as a mom of an almost 16 year old, kids only want their parents around for so long. Soon she may be yelling at you to not be around. So if my kid really wanted me to I would maybe compromise and watch some and do my own thing other times. Maybe stay for part or come early for pickup to watch some. Or depending how many practices she has, stay for x amount and do your own thing the others.

[sdlaura]

Depends on a lot of factors. We have four kids in a bunch of activities (well, the older 3, who are age 6-11) and we both work FT, so not usually/only if we have no other option - depends on how far away it is and what else we have going on. Like if DD has a 1-hour practice at her softball hitting facility and it’s 20 minutes away, it’s dark out (so can’t use it for a walk) and not near places I need to run errands, then I will stay.

My just turned 10 year old is the one that will sometimes ask us to stay. Not quite sure why. We usually say no since the practice he asked us to stay at was really close to home and we have to watch his little brothers at the time - that was easier to do at home vs in the dark at a basketball court.

In terms of the age I started leaving them, it depends on the kid. My DD and my now kindergartner are really easygoing kids who are fine advocating for themselves if necessary/telling the coaches what they need - so I felt fine leaving them early without worrying that they’d need me. Now 10-year-old DS2 is a more sensitive kid and not as good about speaking up for himself, so I did feel like we needed to stay longer with him in case he needed something. Probably til like age 8, vs I will leave 6-year-old now. Also depends how closely I know the coaches and teammates families.

For DD’s softball league we have a mom/female family member sign up to be there at every practice and observe in case anyone needs anything. Part of it is avoiding liability for the league because most of the coaches are male. It’s nice to know someone is there and then other parents feel more comfortable leaving.

[mcppalmbeach]

In our area it seems pretty common for a parent to stay through elementary school. That’s been pretty common across all sports, but we don’t do gymnastics or dance or anything that has more than two days of practices or are longer than say an hour and a half. Parents may drop off and run an errand but they are typically back for some part of practice. I also will often see two parents at a practice and I never do that lol…if h had a practice covered, there was no reason for me to stick around.

[AdaraMarie]

I like to stay and watch but it depends. Dd1 (13) has soccer once a week at the same time that Dd2 (11) has swimming so I am mostly driving back and forth. Last summer I did drop off when they had swim in the neighborhood 4 dsys a week and they walked home. A lot of times I stay, especially for dd2, because there isn't time to do anything else.

[cricketwife]

We stay. Practices are 60 minutes or 75 minutes but there is no where to go in traffic at that time of day. Kids are 7 and 10. I would drop them if it were more convenient, but it’s not.

eta : by “we” stay I mean whoever is doing practice that day. H and I definitely don’t both stay at a practice together, lol. 

[abs]

It just depends. DD’s softball practices are 30 minutes away. Just a few miles but it takes forever to get anywhere here during rush hour. It makes zero sense to leave for the 75 minute practice. DH takes her and helps out or talks to the other dads.

For other activities that were longer or closer I’d drop her. Best part about school activities is they are before/after and takes the whole question away.

[preppy]

I stay for soccer cause its an hour and the indoor winter practices are a 30 min drive away so there is no reason to leave. For gymnastics I do not stay and watch. They are 2.5 hour long practices - I do sometimes workout at the same time (she is on a YMCA team) but I def don't sit and watch outside of peaking in during workouts to see what she's working on. I attend all the meets and games as long as I am not away for work though

[plutosmoon]

Depends. For dance DD is generally at the studio for 2-3 hour stretches, I drop and go for the most part. We can watch from outside the studio if the curtains are open, some parents do stay and watch, although it's usually the parents of kids under 10. If it's a costume day, or I need to video choreography/music I stay, but walk up and down the hallway to get steps in. I got used to dropping at the door and leaving during COVID, so probably around 8 was when I last stayed regularly. If the activity is far away, or super short, I stay. If there is time for me to go and get something done, I go.

[noodleoo]

This is for DD1 and I figured out she really wants ME to stay, she’s doesn't care if H does. Sigh, more perks of being the default parent. Practices are once a week for 75 mins at the school 3 mins from our house, so I can easily come home and then go back to pick her up. DD2 hasn’t really started sports yet so DD1 is used to us all being there for her. Oh well, if the frequency starts picking up we will need to have a talk about it.

[VillainV]

We do, but practices only last 75 minutes and it’s too far away to even go home. So I’ll usually go for a walk/run, listen to a podcast, knock out some work emails, or talk on the phone with my parents.

[icedcoffee]

I asked this last year. Here’s a link:

pandce.proboards.com/thread/637577/kids-sports

I still mostly stay at 7. He got hurt at basketball and it involved blood and it would have been weird for me not to be there for that so now I’m nervous not to be there. Ugh.

[wanderingback]

Since she is asking you to stay can you compromise and stay maybe once every other week? I assume you could get other things done during that time like errands or cooking? She is definitely old enough to understand that you have obligations.

[beerlover]

I have this same question.

My DS is 7.5. He's played soccer for 3 seasons, t-ball for 2 seasons, and basketball for one season. Thus far, it has seemed like most parents have stayed at practice, so that's what I've done. Maybe at soccer some parents sat in the car when it was cold. I was honestly surprised the majority of parents stayed at basketball because it was grades 1 & 2 and I thought more people might leave, but nope, so I stayed.

Little League is starting soon and I'd really like to not have to sit there and watch him 3x a week. I've posted before that I have hard time with sitting and watching and wanting to correct his behavior anyway, so it would take some stress off me to be able to leave or at least walk laps. He does protest a little when I say I'm going to drop him off at something, but ultimately he'd be fine. I guess I'll see what everyone else does. My H might be volunteering as a coach some so definitely not staying when he's there!

[dochas]

There is no way in hell that both of us would attend a practice.

[jewel]

My oldest is 9 and we usually stay at practices, but it’s not really my preference.

My H coaches his basketball team so he has to be there. Baseball practice is 1.5 hours so if I’m handling it, I’ll sometimes run an errand, but my younger kid usually likes to stay so he can play on the playground. If my H is handling it, he likes to stay and watch and I think he enjoys just sitting and zoning out for 1.5 hours with nothing else to do.

Mostly though, practices just aren’t long enough to drop off and get anything of substance done in time to get back.

[beerlover]

Mar 9, 2024 18:25:56 GMT -5 dochas said:

There is no way in hell that both of us would attend a practice.

I said that too but actually my H and I would sometimes go to his bball practices together and just chat, and it was kind of enjoyable lol. We probably talked more than we would have at home! As a general rule I’d rather not though 🤣

[waverly]

We stopped around age 8. We definitely weren’t staying by age 9. Some parents were staying and watching soccer when we dropped off but we had 2 in separate directions and had to make dinner so we just didn’t have time to stay.

[browneyedgirl9]

We stay, (6yo and 10yo) which seems to be the normal around here. Practices are only 1 hr here. We live in a town with no stores or anything close enough to run any errands.

[loira]

I stay for sports because I love to watch her, but also I'm paranoid she's going to get injured and I'll need to drive her to the hospital.

[starburst604]

If it’s close to home I’ll drop off and come back. But most of the hockey rinks she practices at are far enough away that it doesn’t make sense to go home for an hour practice. I would rather not be sitting there in the cold, believe me.

[scm1011]

Depends. For gymnastics and ice skating I stay and read a book because its only an hour and just far enough it doesn't make sense to drop off and pick up. For dance I usually drop off and go for a run. For spring outdoor sports it depends where the practice is and the timing logistics. Generally if I'm staying I'm not watching, I'm reading.

I think asking both parents to stay and watch every week is a big ask and you shouldn't feel guilty for not indulging.

[scribellesam]

Mar 10, 2024 0:17:38 GMT -5 loira said:

I stay for sports because I love to watch her, but also I'm paranoid she's going to get injured and I'll need to drive her to the hospital.

This is me. My younger son was hit in the mouth with a baseball and cracked three teeth at practice a couple years ago. He was so traumatized at the time, I’m glad I was there but now I’m too anxious to leave. I don’t mind being at practice though.

[sparty04]

I usually do unless I have somewhere else I have to be (my oldest DS is almost 12). I'm usually the only parent, sometimes there's one more. I usually use the time to walk and get some steps in